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I Knew You When

Monday, January 19 by

Hello all you Panther fans out there, this is Slammin’ Sammy Meade here welcoming you to another season of Dillon High School football. The first episode tied up a few loose ends left after the strike shortened last year’s team. Smash Williams hurt his knee in a devastating playoff loss, and lost his scholarship. His hopes are still high as we first encounter him doing calisthenics with the legendary Coach Taylor. Toward the end of the summer, Tyra and Landry also apparently called the whole thing off. They remain friends though, which may indicate a willingness to rekindle. Buddy’s ex-wife ran off with the kids to northern California to live with the environmentalist health food nut, leaving Lyla to live with her father. I must say I like this move, and that Buddy is better off without her.

A Good Opportunity

Sunday, January 18 by

It's business time once again from the Middle-Earthian duo Flight of the Conchords. Season two starts off with a meeting between Jemaine, Bret, and their manager Murray, who is more invested in hitmaking machine "The Crazy Dogs" (who have such hits as 'Doggy Bounce,' 'Doggy Dance,' and 'In the Pound') than the struggling Conchords. They fire Murray, who in anger double stuffs Jemaine ('stuff you Jemaine, stuff you Bret, and stuff you again Jemain'), and proceeds to burst into operatic ballad after they leave. The poor guy feels rejected, ejected, and unprotected like a baby in the snow.

BSG RECAP: ‘Sometimes A Great Notion’

Sunday, January 18 by

The title of episode is "Sometimes a Great Notion," which is a direct reference to Ken Kesey's second novel, the one you probably haven't read, but it's really a reference for Kesey's source for that phrase, Lead Belly's version of Goodnight Irene: Sometimes I have a great notion / jumpin into the river and drown.What happens when the dream you've based your entire life upon turns out to be a cruel, cruel lie?  Sometimes you give up.  You jump into the river, let it take you where it will.

Weekend What The F With Joaquin

Saturday, January 17 by

It just keeps getting weirder and weirder with Joaquin. We published an Op Ed that he penned a few months back about his experience as an actor. We also posted the video when he first announced that he would be quitting acting to pursue his "music." We later learned that that "music" would be rap music with rumors of an album produced by Diddy.  But this interview, done last night before his performance in Vegas is winning the battle of bizarre. Apparently Casey Affleck has been making a documentary about this entire process of Phoenix trying to launch his rap career. Which makes me think that this entire thing is just some awesome meta hollywood joke. Please let it be that. Otherwise the closest possibility is that he's addicted to model airplane glue.

Blood, Boobs & Biggie Weekend Movie Lineup

Friday, January 16 by

There's nothing more you could you ask for in a movie that has blood, boobs, and psychopathic killers–in 3D!!! My Bloody Valentine isn't going to be a critic favorite, it's just going to be freakin' fun as hell. Also this weekend– Paul Blart drives his segway around a mall, and Biggie Smalls comes back to cinematic life. But 3D Boobs always prevail. Always.

Hollywood Auto Trader [pic]

Friday, January 16 by

I've always wondered where all that stuff goes.

The Face of The Enemy BSG Webisodes Reccapage

Friday, January 16 by

Pity poor Felix Gaeta. First, he followed his long-time unrequited (probably) crush on Gaius Baltar right into Baltar's decadent and ultimately disastrous reign as President on New Caprica.  Then, despite the fact that he was a key figure in giving the Resistance crucial information, he is nearly airlocked by a Tigh-led outlaw tribunal for being a traitor.  Finally, in the midst of an unsuccessful mutiny against a seemingly crazy Starbuck, who is leading a fat-chance recon mission to find a clue to Earth, he is shot in the leg by Samuel T. Anders, and eventually gets it amputated.

Ahmenajad Sees The World In 3D News

Friday, January 16 by

"Ah this Captain EO about which you speak has convinced me that the best possible weapon against the West is a paralyzing dance routine. We mush develop this capability now. Please find me this Magic Space Negro, and bring him to Tehran." JOAQUIN PHOENIX IS HIGH ON PCP (UPDATE) (Filmdrunk) Worst Wheel Of Fortune Player EVER (IAMBORED) Kate Hudson Looks Good In Leather (Hollywoodtuna)  Philip Seymour Hoffman To Direct Movie About Stoned Cab Driver  The Return Of 3D (Sound and Vision)  And one more video after the jizz-ump. 

There Can Only Be One

Thursday, January 15 by

Andy still doesn’t know about Dwight and Angela’s wedding, so after the truth is revealed to him, he challenges Dwight to a duel in the parking lot outside the building.  Michael also has a meeting with David Wallace in New York where his boss tells him something is not quite right with Scranton's numbers – so to speak. Check out the full recap after the jump, junkies.

Flu Shot

Thursday, January 15 by

This week's newest installment begins with Liz Lemon arriving at the NBC studio all jazzed up, and ready to get through work so she can take her beloved vacation to the island of St. Barnobies. Her happiness is quickly stifled when she runs into Kenneth, who is sick with the flu. Liz explains to Kenneth that he can't come near her. She fears that she will catch his flu, ruining her vacation. Liz turns away from Kenneth and runs into her ditsy assistant Cerie. Cerie tells Liz not to worry about the vacation, because the vacation spot was all booked up.

George W: It’s Been Real

Thursday, January 15 by

  Dear Mr. President, My Name is Max Powers. I watch a lot of TV. Tonight you are going to be on TV. This is the last time that you are going to be on the TV (like all official as the president) and you will be giving your farewell goodbye-bye talk. I hope nobody throws shoes. They probably will not because you are giving the talk in America and not Durka-Durakastan. Do you ever watch The Office? Now that is a funny show. So is 30 Rock. They will also be on TV with you. Not with you, but like also on tonight. Sincerely, Max Powers. PS, Don't let the door hit you in your ass on the way out.

George: It’s Been Real

Thursday, January 15 by

Dear Mr. President,

Next Day Air Trailer

Thursday, January 15 by

This is basically the "urban" version of RocknRolla. With the dude from Scrubs. And Mos Def. Synopsis: When a UPS driver delivers a package containing bricks of cocaine to the wrong address, it sets into motion a battle of wills and wits between the dealer, the intended recipients, and the people who have the drugs and plan to sell them off.Obvious Question: What? UPS delivers packages containing bricks of Cocaine? Jesus that would have made my life WAY simpler, and my colon way less stretched. 

‘UFC Primetime’ Episode 1 Recap

Thursday, January 15 by

FROM CAGE POTATO: We open with the hair-raising voice of punk-legend/TV host Henry Rollins: "They are bitter rivals from different worlds. A stone-cold champion from the frigid streets of Montreal, and a hot-blooded challenger from the black sands of Hilo Bay…" So begins the first episode of UFC Primetime, the "St Pierre vs. Penn 2" promotional mini-series that reportedly cost $1.7 million to produce, with each episode being completed just hours before it airs. Check out the full recap at Cage Potato.

Craziest Robert Downey Jr. Moments

Thursday, January 15 by

In 1996 RDJ was arrested in LA for possession of 97 different types of drugs and a handgun. The cops nailed him driving down Sunset, totally hammered, and totally naked. The man has done 16 months in jail and plenty of time in rehab. In 1999 he told a judge “It’s like I have a loaded gun in my mouth and my finger’s on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gunmetal.” It is because of quotes like that and his incredible ability as an actor that we think he's the shit. In celebration of his recent comeback here is a look at some of the craziest Robert Downey Jr. moments.

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