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NEW ‘SPAWN’ MOVIE SPAWNS A BUNCH OF LINKS

Thursday, April 30 by

According to FilmDrunk (via IESB), Todd McFarlane is working on a new Spawn sequel.  You could read the original article, but Film Drunk's take on it is a lot fartier.  Check it out here, and then read every single one of the articles via the links below, so you can tell all your friends that you know everything cool that has happened today.  Yes, with these links, you can command the conversation.  With these links, people will like you.Zillow could be used for everything (Holy Taco)Marvel Comics Films – Worst to Best (RottenTomatoes)10 Sexiest World of Warcraft Characters OF ALL TIME! (Manofest)5 Cocktails, 5 Movies – 1 Great Article (Pajiba)55 Photo Tribute to BUSTED TEES GIRLS (Manofest)Spank Bank: The Woman Known as Kerrie (GorillaMask)A-Rod Has Bitch Tits Courtesy of ILM (SickPigs)Why Last Night's Lost was bullsh*t (UnrealityMag)Arrested Development News Develops (The Playlist)Tony Stark's Mansion Should Look Like One of These (Uncoached)Sports Illiustrated Swimsuit Model Bar Rafaeli (BustedCoverage)6 Ways That PORN RUNS THE WORLD!!! (Cracked)Danny Huston joins Clash of The Titans as Poseidon (Filmofilia)

X-MEN STORIES THAT SHOULD BE ON FILM

Thursday, April 30 by

Well, well, well.  X-Men Origins: Wolverine is finally, officially in theaters.  At the risk of sounding like a shill for Fox, might we suggest you go out and see it and actually pay for a ticket?  But we’re not here to proselytize against movie piracy.  We’re here to talk about one thing: kickass X-Men source material ready for cinematic adaptation.  Before getting into the main focus of this feature, whet your appetite with a glance at some of the major comic book stories that directly influenced X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Marvel Comics Presents: Weapon X

Thursday TV Preview

Thursday, April 30 by

Before you dress up as Gambit for the midnight screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, be sure not to miss your favorite night of TV. Tonight, Ms Knope goes head-to-head with an 'Old Boys Club', there's an interesting casual friday at the Office, Tracy Jordan tries to become more mature (see above), and the LA po-po try and track down the identity of a body that the crips and/or bloods used for target practice. Check out a full preview after the break (now with extra Creed Bratton!) 

LYNN COLLINS IS WOLVERINE’S FOX

Thursday, April 30 by

This Friday, X-Men Origins: Wolverine opens, and the world will become a lot more familiar with actress Lynn Collins, who plays Silver Fox, the lady who plays Wolverine for a fool… Where You May Have Seen Her: The Texas native played "R.C" in William Friedkin's Bug, "Suicide Blonde" in The Number 23, "Linda" in 50 First Dates and has a recurring role as "Dawn Green" in HBO's True Blood. Random Quote: "[The actors in Wolverine] were all on super-buff diets, and I had pizza most of the time. They were so jealous of me. I didn't have to beef up in this movie. I just had to wear skimpy clothes."See Photos of Lynn in Skimpy Clothes After The JUMP:

5 PERFECT MOVIES FOR SYLVESTER STALLONE

Thursday, April 30 by

Sylvester Stallone is a film institution. The muscleman’s legend spans the globe due to the iconic characters he has popularized over the years. And at almost 63 years old, he’s amazingly jacked. Seriously, you could grate Jason Statham on those abs.Here are five movie roles tailor-made for the Silver Screen hero: THE SQUEEZERIn the dangerous world of underground massage the women are beautiful, the men are hard, and the stakes are deadly. Retired assassin Grant Lovejoy went in for what he expected to be a routine rub and tug but what he got was far more draining. Now with a small bomb planted in his urethra, Lovejoy will tear through Chinatown until he exacts vengeance on all of his enemies — all while ejaculating every seven minutes. Lovejoy always wanted a happy ending in life. Careful what you wish for.

Morning News Breadcrumbs

Thursday, April 30 by

Adam McKay and Will Ferrell have picked up a pitch from Dead Snow director Tommy Wirkola. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters picks up 15 years after the traumatic events that befell the siblings in that too-good-to-be-true Gingerbread House. "The idea is, they've grown up and they hunt witches," McKay said. No cast has been announced but I expect to see Danny McBride or Jack McBrayer in lederhosen very soon. (Hollywood Reporter) Wolverine's multiple endings spoiled. (io9) Gremlins 3? (Bloody Disgusting)Roger Rabbit 2? (/Film) Clueless 2? (Cinema Blend) Jim Jarmusch steals a dude's diary. (NY Mag)

MICHAEL BAY, TYRESE & LABEOUF PUMP UP THE JAM WITH TRANSFORMERS 2 TRAILER

Wednesday, April 29 by

Tonight at The Bridge Cinema in Los Angeles, the trailer for Transformers 2 was shown in IMAX before an IMAX screening of the original film.  There to introduce the film was none other than Boom-tastic director Michael Bay, actor/singer Tyrese, and Shia LaBeouf.  As you can see from the following video, they're all working it big time, pumping up the jam like Paramount was payin' 'em the big bucks or something.  Michael Bay, Tyrese & LaBeouf Pump Up The Jam – Watch more Funny Videos No one pumps up the jam harder than Tyrese, who followed up the first showing of the sequel's trailer by telling the crowd they would be watching it again, whether they wanted to or not, even though they'd seen the trailer 100,000,000 times already from the YouTube leak that had happened about 15 hours before. Also at the screening were fans who showed up in full Transformers regalia in hopes of winning tickets to the LA premiere of Revenge of the Fallen.  Here are some of those poor bastards who had to try to squeeze their giant robot asses in movie theater seats.                      

‘Family Guy’ Disproves Adage “You Can’t Parody a Parody” With Spoof of ‘The Hills’

Wednesday, April 29 by

Lauren Conrad will be on the next episode of "Family Guy" and she looks hot – much hotter than real life. This takes air brushing to a whole new level. Speaking of hot, the teaser on YouTube is white hot and funny as "hill." See how I did that? I replaced the word "hell" with "hill." Ya know, cuz it's witty and stuff. This spoof contains one of the best sight gags for Quagmire I've ever seen. I'll give you a hint. Finish the sentence, "As long as I have a face…" There's dog poop sex talk and a love triangle straight out of "The Hills…of Kentucky." See? I did it again! Rightin's easy. Of course all of this does beg the question, "Which show is the real cartoon?" Check it out here…

Wednesday TV Preview

Wednesday, April 29 by

Metallica may have slowed down after their outright domination of 80's metal, but Lars Ulrich still pounds the skins with authority, Kirk Hammett still shreds, and James Hetfield growls and spits like a bulldog. You'll know what I mean when you watch Timewarp tonight, which has the whole band in super slo mo, so you can finally learn that 'Ride the Lightning' solo. Also, Lost is only 4 episodes away from leaving your fragile little lives. Your preview after the break.

‘FRANKENHOOD’ EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEWS

Wednesday, April 29 by

The audience is packed tight in the four-hundred-person comedy theater on Melrose Boulevard. Before the lights go down, drinks are clinking, and overworked waitstaff are scrambling to get plates of fried chicken fingers to their tables. One man sitting near the stage says, to no one in particular, that tonight "better be f*%$@#g funny." His girlfriend asks him to check the score on the Lakers game. It's Mo Betta' Mondays at the Hollywood Improv, a night usually sold-out, but especially packed this evening for the DVD release party of Lionsgate's Frankenhood. The cast will be performing stand-up comedy sets, and the audience wants to get to it. If you haven't yet heard of Frankenhood, think Half Baked meets Weekend At Bernie's; a stoner romp from the perspective of a few ambitious losers who end up resurrecting a Shaq-esque corpse with a car battery to play on their three man basketball team.

Frankenhood

Wednesday, April 29 by

Director: Blaxwell SmartCast: DeRay Davis, Jasper Redd, Charles Q. Murphy, J.B. SmooveSynopsis: Two guys who work at a morgue enlist the services of a reanimated corpse to better their chances at a streetball tournament.

‘THE BOAT THAT ROCKED’ IS NOT JUST ANOTHER NAME FOR DAVID LEE ROTH’S YACHT

Wednesday, April 29 by

The Boat That Rocked Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersOther Links You Might Like:JJ Abrams Taking on the Dark Tower after 'Lost'? (Unreality Mag) A Romantic Comedy About Ass Burgers (FilmDrunk) Llama Attacks Reporter (Manofest) Meryl Streep & Amay Adams Wrestle In Butter (Pajiba) Spank It All The Way to The Bank with Michelle (GorillaMask) Tampon Prank Ends Badly (I-Am-Bored) 6 Famous Characters You Didn't Know Are Shameless Rip Offs (Cracked) Funny New Posters from The Hangover (Filmofilia) Falconheart is North Ohio's Sickest Motivational Rock Band (SickPigs) The Relationship Translator Should Be Will Smith's Next (HolyTaco) Conan The Commentarian – Hilarious (UniqueDaily) Angelina Jolie's Fur (Celeb Vine) Playboy Cyber Girl Breann McGregor (Busted Coverage) Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like the Dude From Real Genius (Uncoached) The King of Kong saga continues… (The Playlist) George Washington Carver's Nightmares Should Get Optioned (Tom Oatmeal) Deranged Russian Soldier On Supermarket Killing Spree (Nothing Toxic)

‘SNAKES ON A PLANE’ TV EDIT OUTTAKES

Wednesday, April 29 by

Our next comic needs no introduction but we’ll give him one all the same… back from his debut review of ‘Obsessed w/ Beyoncé and That White Bitch.’ Laaaadies and Geeeeentlemeeeeen! Mr.!  Tacoooo!  Perkiiiiins! [Uninspired applause]

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES SOUNDBOARD WILL CONJURE MEMORIES, ANNOY CO-WORKERS

Wednesday, April 29 by

If you didn't know, it's the 25th anniversary of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  You can send all of your gifts made of silver to Mirage Studios.  Might I suggest this lovely pendant?Now of course, the big announcement this past week was the new live action feature film.  But you don't have to wait for 2011 to get your dose of Turtle Power. On May 12, Lionsgate is releasing Season 7 of the original TMNT animated series.  Season 7 includes classic episodes like, "Rust Never Sleeps," where the Turtles save the Eiffel Tower, and "Elementary, My Dear Turtles," an offbeat team-up with Sherlock Holmes in London.  It's like a virtual European Turtle Travelogue.  In "shell-ebration" (yes, that's trademarked) of the DVD release, the official site has posted a TMNT sound board widget…

ALIENS AND GORILLAS AND WOLVERINE, OH MY! BEHIND THE SCENES OF A HOLLYWOOD FX HOUSE

Wednesday, April 29 by

Indy Mogul posted their new episode of 'Hollywood FX,' which takes us behind the scenes of a company called Amalgamated Dynamics.  A.D.I. is a company formed by a some of Stan Winston's protegés, and they were kind enough to allow Hollywood FX a pretty damn in-depth exposé.  And with that last sentence, this may be the most amount of co-opted French words with accents I've ever posted.  Check out the clip after the jump which includes, as the post's title touts, glimpses at creature FX from Wolverine, Aliens… and a mind-blowing animatronic Gorilla head that will blow your mind all over your face.  Bring handy-wipes for your computer monitor.

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