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MIDGETS VS. MASCOTS!

Tuesday, April 21 by

When you hear the title Midgets vs. Mascots, you probably have an image in your sick little head of Midgets fighting Mascots.  Turns out you'd be right in this case.  The film, Midgets vs. Mascots premiers this weekend at the Tribeca Film Festival.  My how their artistic standards have dropped.  Why, I remember but a few years ago my Colonoscopy musical was rejected after the second round:Midgets vs. Mascots Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosMidgets vs. Mascots is a shockumentary featuring a wide variety of celebs including Ron Jeremy and Gary Coleman.  Both Midgets and Mascots must fight each other in a wide variety of extreme contests to win a million dollar prize. It Screens all weekend at Tribeca and if you want info on how to see it live, Click Here

NEW X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE PROMO

Tuesday, April 21 by

There's only a week and a half 'til X-Men Origins: Wolverine drops, and Fox is making its last ditch efforts for a big opening weekend.  Here's the newest promo with some direct-addresses from Emma Frost, Blob, Stryker, Gambit, Wolverine and a few others. Wolverine TV Promo – Watch more Funny Videos It's like Marvel's version of a Nike Women's soccer commercial.  Like Mutants are the equivalent of Mia Hamm, who was told as a girl that sports are for men, but whose will eventually triumphed.  Or maybe it's a Visa anti-identity theft spot from back in the late '90s.  See what I mean with an unofficial 'junkie-tized Wolvie promo after the jump:

KILLER MOVIE DEATHS

Tuesday, April 21 by

By Mike HammerIn showbiz everybody wants to finish with a big bang. In these movies … unfortunate bad guys hit the end of the road…hard. In fact, these finishing touches come garnished with meltdowns, eviscerations, suffocations and occasionally a delightful animal flesh feast. The following are the best of the big screens, not-so-happy…but always ball-clenching endings.  We hope you can make it through to the finish.     Death Toll   The Godfather, 1972

20 KILLER MOVIE DEATHS

Tuesday, April 21 by

In showbiz everybody wants to finish with a big bang. In these movies … unfortunate bad guys hit the end of the road…hard. In fact, these finishing touches come garnished with meltdowns, eviscerations, suffocations and occasionally a delightful animal flesh feast. The following are the best of the big screens, not-so-happy…but always ball-clenching endings.  We hope you can make it through to the finish.     Death Toll   The Godfather, 1972Sonny (James Caan) gets spectacularly snuffed when he leaves the Corleone compound and hits the highway to go into Manhattan and kick the crap out of brother-in-law Carlo for beating up his sister, Connie. Sadly, the toll booth traffic proves a lot tougher than usual when hot-headed Sonny gets sandwiched between two sedans whose wheelmen hop out with machine guns and unload enough lead into his La Bonza to rebuild Baghdad and leave him look like puddle of bloody Bolognese sauce on the side of the road.  

Hipster Love Morning News

Tuesday, April 21 by

A new trailer is up for Paper Heart. The documentary that won a screenwriting award this year at Sundance (makes sense). It stars Charlyne Yi as a girl who does not believe in love and her real-life boyfriend Michael Cera as a boy who believes in dressing like a middle-schooler. What a cute couple! I think we can all agree that their offspring will look like something out of Jim Henson's sketchbook. Check out the trailer at /film.Here's the morning news. Ja Holy Sh*t!! Slumdog dad tried to sell his kid!! (NY Mag) The Thing cake. It's slobbering time! (AMFMPM)Bale and Wahlberg trade blows. (Variety) More ladies flock to Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. (Hollywood Reporter) The State finally arrives on DVD reminding us all how long ago high school was. (MTV) 

FIRST ‘ALICE IN WONDERLAND’ PIC

Monday, April 20 by

The new issue of Empire covers Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, with new pics and an interview with Burton, too.  Above is a still of Alice about to head down the rabbit hole.  It makes you wonder what she's going to see on the other side.  We've speculated and our team of indentured artists have rendered some possible outcomes.  Here's one: More possibilities after the jump.

JACKSON & DEL TORO ARE MERE ‘BIGATURES’ OF THEIR OLD SELVES.

Monday, April 20 by

Tel Toro And Hobbit (FilmDrunk)Happy Birthday Maria Sharapova (MoonDogSports)10 Best Cleavage Commercials (Manofest)Fat Drunk Robin Hood (Pajiba)Margot Waterhouse's Spank Bank (GorillaMask)English vs. American Slang (IAmBored)Why Tech Support Sucks (Cracked)Da Vinci Code 3? (Filmofilia)Dark Feed Teaser Poster (DreadCentral)TV Snake On A Plane Is Better Than Original (Holytaco)Adriana Karembeu Is Hot (BustedCoverage)Sexy Ludmila Dayer (Uncoached)Slumdog Millionaire kids for sale (Unreality)Newspapers Are Dying (ThePlaylist)Trump For Sale! (TomOatmeal)The Hottest MMA Girls (Chickipedia)Magician Dies On Stage (NothingToxic)

ANGELS & DEMONS SPAWNS THIRD LANGDON FILM

Monday, April 20 by

According to /Film, even though there’s no third book in the Da Vinci Code series, they’re moving ahead with a third movie. Ron Howard’s big screen adaptation of the Da Vinci Code prequel Angel’s & Demons won’t hit theaters until May 15th, but Columbia Pictures is already moving forward with a third film in the series. Not much information is known about the story, although it has been widely speculated to be about Freemasons in Washington, D.C. Brown, who is clearly obsessed with the Freemasons, has been spotted over the years in Washington, researching Masonic temples. Wow, look at the power Dan Brown has. He doesn’t even have to write the book, and they make it into a movie. That’d be like if I just whipped my wiener out and my girlfriend had an orgasm. Which I can assure you, does NOT happen. Mostly because I don’t whip my penis out, I undress like a gentleman. It’s way too early to say obviously whether or not this movie will be shitty or decent, but I’m guessing if all it has is a title, and no script or source material, it’s going to be awesome! If I were Dan Brown, I would see how ridiculous a book title I could come up with, and see if Columbia Pictures would still buy it. I’d march into their office with something like this:

CRANK PRANK

Monday, April 20 by

Someone here at Screenjunkies got kind of jacked up over seeing Crank: High Voltage this past weekend.  So much so, that they took it upon themselves to replace our intern’s…

THE BEEGEES GET A MUCH NEEDED HAND JOB

Monday, April 20 by

In this exclusive ScreenJunkies mashup, John Travolta's Tony Manero, the king of the disco, meets Gerry Phillips, the king of hand music.  My favorite part might be Travolta eating a hot dog and dance-walking to what essentially is melodic farting.  Watch and laugh after the jump.  Warning, this may leave a bad taste in the mouth of all Bee Gees and Saturday Night Fever purists. You had it coming.

JESSICA BIEL IS NUDE IN OFFICIAL ‘POWDER BLUE’ IMAGES

Monday, April 20 by

This morning, JoBlo.com released several screen grabs from Jessica Biel's film, Powder Blue, in which she plays a stripper.  Click on the image above for the NSFW version.  If you haven't already skipped over this text in a feverish attempt to see all the pictures, then a) thank you for your patience and b) you can watch this clip to give you more context into Jessica's dogged preparation for the film.  More pics after the jump.

420 Morning News

Monday, April 20 by

April 20th aka 420, the Holiest of days for chubby dudes in tie-dye and girls with toe rings. It is to cannabis what St. Patrick's Day is to hops. A day to set your responsibilities aside and drift into a thick haze. Essentially think of it as Joaquin Pheonix's Christmas. And this man is his Santa.Here are your morning news nuggets. Transformers 2  footage screens at ShoWest. (Cinematical) Info about Michael Bay's small movie. (/film) Fox Atomic bombs (Variety)Russell Crowe now trained in archery. No concierge is safe. (Empire Online)The Lovely Bones first pics. (Latino Review) John Madden retires from sportscasting. Will he become a Walmart Greeter? (MSNBC)

‘ARMORED’ TRAILER

Sunday, April 19 by

FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

Friday, April 17 by

This video is called “The Miracle of Birth” by New Zoo Revue and it will, according to FilmDrunk, "Melt your face off." [Thanks to Vince at FilmDrunk] Spare Parts (WebsterIsMyBitch) Holly Samson After Wonder Years (MoonDogSports) This Will Melt Your Face (FilmDrunk) Hot Girls In Baseball Clothes (Manofest) 6 Randomly Influential Movies (Pajiba) Whitney Jane's Spankin Hot (GorillaMask) McCoughnahey's Next 10 Movie Posters (Cracked) True Blood Season 2 Artwork (DreadCentral) The Ultimate Butterface Test (Holytaco) Stephanie Rice Is One Hot Policewoman (BustedCoverage) Alyssa = Hot Name And Woman (Uncoached) Starcraft 2 Battle Report (Unreality) Criterion Brings More To The Masses (ThePlaylist) Scene From Ghost Hunting Guy (TomOatmeal) Stupid Bitch Gets Kicked Off Motorcycle (NothingToxic)

‘WHITEOUT’ TRAILER

Friday, April 17 by

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