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WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19th, 2009

Wednesday, August 19 by

A sh*t ton of kids, explosions, muscular women, a boa constrictor, and clown tears. Tonight's TV Preview is my 12th birthday all over again.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘Top Chef: Los Vegas’ Host Padma Lakshmi

Wednesday, August 19 by

The spiciest season yet of Top Chef premieres tonight on Bravo, and we can't wait to see what kind of foodie antics host Padma Lakshmi doles out in Sin City.  This could quite possibly be the season where a naked Quick Fire Challenge gets things all hot and sweaty in the kitchen.  Sure, it's unsanitary, but a nude Padma bossing those eager chefs around is too appealing of an idea to worry about E. coli. A word from Padma: "In India, we like healthier, more voluptuous types."Amen, sister.  You gotta have something to grab on to.  Check out a few more pics of Padma and all of her voluptuousness after the jump!

TOP CHEF: LAS VEGAS

Wednesday, August 19 by

Network: BravoHosts: Padma Lakshmi, Tom ColicchioSynopsis: "Top Chef" offers a fascinating window into the competitive, pressure-filled environment of world-class cookery and the restaurant business at the highest level. The series features aspiring chefs who compete for their shot at culinary stardom and the chance to earn the prestigious title of "Top Chef."

TV Commericals of the ‘Mad Men’ Age

Wednesday, August 19 by

Hey there, modern gentlemen of the 1960s!  Have you heard what's all the rage in prime time entertainment fifty years from now?  "Mad Men," that's what!  Why, on Sunday, 8/17/2009 (last sunday for us future folk), the Season 3 premiere enjoyed 2.8 million viewers.  And that's basic cable, friend!  What's basic cable you ask? Why, it's something that the entertainment industry will invent years from your time to dump off all the hooey, the likes with which respectable sponsors like Mutual of Omaha would never dare associate!   

DIORA BAIRD AUDITIONED FOR ‘THOR’

Wednesday, August 19 by

CHUD was the first to point out that sexy model-actress Diora Baird has announced via Twitter that she has auditioned for a role in the upcoming Thor film. No one is certain which role she read for or if she'll even get the part but it's a slow news morning so conjecture like this makes headlines. Honestly. It was between this or pictures of dogs sniffing celebrities.Tee-hee! Look at 'im sniff her!!Get a whiff of these fresh-scented morning links… A Gallery of Dogs Sniffing Celebrities. (Unreality)Jon Hamm throws a Sucker Punch. (Hit Fix)The sanctity of Dirty Dancing in jeopardy. (Cinema Blend)Saw VI Poster. (Shock Til You Drop)Daniel Radcliffe swears off wizards. (Latino Review)Reporter FAIL. (TV Squad)

McLOVIN’ & COMMON IN ‘TRAINING DAY’ CINEMASH

Tuesday, August 18 by

I don't know what's funnier: Common's awkward foray into postmodern comedy or Christopher Mintz-Plasse looking like he's about to squirt poop his tighty whities while delivering Denzel Washington's Oscar-winning "King Kong aint' got sh*t on me" speech to a bunch of legitimately street looking black dudes.  Either way, this video was worth five minutes of my time.  Then again, I run a movie and TV website. Pretty much anything is worth my time. [via CineMash]King Kong Ain't Got Sh*t on 'Deez Links! Karli Madeline Is Flossin' (Gorillamask) If Michael Vick Had A Comic Book (Holytaco) James McAvoy Diagnosed With Fictitious Cancer (Filmdrunk) Pitbull Displays Violent Love (Manofest) Bruce Lee Bobblehead Has Got The Moves (Walyou) Dr. House Wrote A Spy Thriller Novel (Pajiba) 6 Animals That Can Get You High (Cracked) The Mad Hot Women Of Mad Men (Coedmagazine) Obama Is Bipolar (Sickpigs) The Hottest College Girls In America (Maxim) Naomi Campbell May Or May Not Have A Penis (Celebjihad) Which Light Beer Makes You The Least Like A Pussy (Mademan) Randy Couture Has Nothing Else To Prove (Cagepotato) Felicia Day Spanked With Jewel Encrusted Sword (Unreality) District 9 didn't show us How to Torture an Alien Properly.  This does. (Asylum) Keeping Tabs On Favre (Bustedcoverage) The Latest In Celebrity Look-Alikes (Uncoached) Kills Sorority Sisters With A Tire Iron (Theta Pi Must Die Game) A Boxing KO That's A Real Knockout (Regretful Morning) NCAA'S Respect Weekend Could Get No Respect (Moondogsports) Stuff Hipsters HATE (Heeb Magazine) Cracking American English (Atomfilms) Fan-Made Tron Legacy Poster (Filmofilia)

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January Jones

Tuesday, August 18 by

If only it could be January year round.

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: TUESDAY, AUGUST 18th

Tuesday, August 18 by

Mr. Janus, Mr. T, and Mr. Kotter. Tonight's TV preview is very polite when applying monikers.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

IF FANS PICKED THE CRITERION COLLECTION

Tuesday, August 18 by

Since 1984, the fine people at the Criterion Collection have been dedicated to gathering the greatest films from around the world and publishing them in highest possible quality. But despite their valiant efforts, some important films are still missing from the collection. Luckily, some ingenious folks over at the Jinx World Forums have taken it upon themselves to create distinctive, Criterion-style box covers for those films that have been overlooked. Here are 12 of our favorites in no particular order. Our list is by no means definitive or comprehensive, so head over to Jinx World and take a look for yourselves.   Transformers Posted by Cth

CONCEPT ART OF WHIPLASH’S MARK II SUIT

Tuesday, August 18 by

By now we've all seen the official pictures of Mickey Rourke dressed as Whiplash at the racetrack in Iron Man 2. You know, the one's where he looks like a Steampunk Harvey Keitel? Well, it's believed that those are images of Whiplash in his prototype Mark I suit. Fans have been abuzz about what the Russian baddie will look like in his final armor ever since. Now the upcoming Marvel comic series IRON MAN VS. WHIPLASH may have revealed what Rourke's look will be when he squares off against Tony Stark and War Machine in the final act of the film. Here's the image from the book:Not bad. If this truly is the film's final armor, he's gone from looking like a He-Man villain to a Thundercats villain. Upgrade. (/Film)More morning news that will whip yo' ass…Kick-Ass teams up with Lionsgate. (Latino Review)James McAvoy is also With Cancer. (Empire)Nobody wants to make out with Megan Fox. (The Playlist)Clip from The Final Destination promises a grotesque death. (Dread Central)Bobcat Goldthwait works the Kinks out. (First Showing)Jon Hamm submerged on video. (NY Mag)

HORRIFYING BRITISH ‘TEXTING WHILE DRIVING’ PSA

Monday, August 17 by

This has nothing to do with anything screen related other than you will watch it on a screen… at your own risk, by the way.  But not since the Teletubbies has Britain come out with filmed content as terrifying as this PSA warning of the dangers of texting while driving. [via Buzzfeed]If the sight of three teenage girls being torn apart in a horrible automotive accident that started with one harmless LOL makes you sick to your stomach… might we suggest you check out our less offensive Nazi Killing Movies feature.  Otherwise, enjoy, you sick bastard.  And remember: THE Final Destination opens in a week.Here are todays not so twisted links: Mary Alison Is Half-Naked In Various Locations (Gorillamask)'Should I Get A Divorce' Flowchart (Holytaco)Bryan Singer Takes On Battlestar (Filmdrunk)50 Sexiest Celebrity Bikini Photos (Manofest)Snake Eyes Mask And Sword Set = You're A Ninja (Walyou)When In Rome Do As Kristen Bell Does (Pajiba)5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time (Cracked)The Gorgeous Girls Of G4TV (Coedmagazine)Jesus Can Be A Friend Of Yours Too (Sickpigs)Women In Corsets Should Take Deep Breaths (Maxim)We ALMOST Got A Peak At Megan Fox's Nipple (Celebjihad)Learn The Signs Of PMS And Steer Clear (Mademan)Joe Rogan Drinks His Own Urine (Cagepotato)Top 10 Baddest Girl Posses In Cinema (Unreality)Do Your Part And Vote For The Manliest Restaurant In America (Asylum)Jay Glazer Likes To Hang With Ugly Chicks (Bustedcoverage)Run Faster At The Running Of The Bulls (Uncoached)Sex Toys That Are Guaranteed To Make You Flacid (Regretfulmorning)Watch Gina Carano Work It Out (Bachelorguy)12 Of De Niro's Best Scenes (Moondogsports)Panic On The Streets Of London (Nothingtoxic)The Puppet Rodeo Is In Town (Atomfilms)4 New 'Extract' TV Spots (Filmofilia)

OFFICE SPACE CRITERION COVER

Monday, August 17 by

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Diane Kruger

Monday, August 17 by

She loves to kill Nazis.

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: MONDAY AUGUST 17th

Monday, August 17 by

Messy homes, nudity, super-strength, and a man-eating catfish. Tonight's TV preview reads like a raucous meth binge. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

TOP 10 NAZI KILLING MOVIES

Monday, August 17 by

Just about everybody enjoys watching a goose-stepping kraut get his head blown off… Whites & blacks, Christians and Jews, liberals and conservatives; hell, even hardcore racists can find things to hate about the tenets of National Socialism (although say what you will, at least it’s an ethos).So, in honor of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, we here at Screen Junkies have complied the Top Ten Nazi Killing Movies of all time. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this list of films that are guaranteed to put those filthy Huns where they belong: in the ground.

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