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Terrible Celebrity Endorsement Ideas

Friday, August 21 by

In these hard economic times, Hollywood is hurting.  Movie actors are having to stoop to TV.  TV regulars are being relegated to guest star spots.  And guest stars are having to join the circus or something like that. Celebrities endorsing ads has become a great way of supplementing their paltry incomes so they can keep up the mortgage payments on their respective chalets. Just witness current It Girl Zooey Deschanel in this ad for Cotton™.  Yes, now that the material has Zooey's approval, the Cotton industry has hope of surviving.  So WHAT IF ad agencies 'round the world stopped caring even more and went crazy with celebrity endorsements? Well, maybe this (fake) sh*t: 

NATALIE PORTMAN AND MILA KUNIS HAVE ANGRY BALLERINA SEX IN ‘BLACK SWAN’

Friday, August 21 by

It was announced recently that Mila Kunis would be joining Natalie Portman in Darren Arofonsky's upcoming ballet thriller Black Swan. Now it's being reported that she'll really be 'joining' her if you catch my drift. I'm talking about sex you guys.A script review from Script Shadow states:[I]n this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex…And not just nice sweet innocent sex either. We’re talking ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex.Well, that sounds nice and I don't want to rain on anyone's parade here. But this is starting to sound more and more like a direct-to-DVD Heather Graham movie. (Latino Review)Links that won't make your bathing suit area tingle… The Final Destination "Rumble" in 3-D. (Break)Bryan Singer is keeping busy. (First Showing)'Larry David vs. Plastic' in Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 7 Preview. (TV Squad)Karl Urban cast as vampire badass. (Empire)Iron Man 2 pic, Sam Rockwell standing around. (/Film)

NSFW ‘SORORITY ROW’ TOPLESS SHOWER SCENE CLIP

Thursday, August 20 by

Intruder in the Senior Sorority Showers – Watch more Sorority RowHere's a NSFW clip from the film Sorority Row that offers all the things you'd expect in a horror movie shower scene.  If you enjoy bitchiness, boobies, and blood, you're going to be pleasantly satisfied.  I do have one thing to say though to the owner of the boobies in this clip: Get off your high horse, honey.  I've seen better.  Sorority Row opens wide Friday, September 11th

Sorority Row

Thursday, August 20 by

Director: Stewert Hendler Cast: Briana Evigan, Leah Pipes, Rumer Willis, Jamie Chung, Margo HarshmanSynopsis: A group of sorority sisters try to cover up the death of their house-sister after a prank gone wrong, only to be stalked by a serial killer.

‘WOLF MAN’ TRAILER W/ BENICIO DEL TORO, EMILY BLUNT, HAIRBALLS

Thursday, August 20 by

The Wolfman Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersThe new trailer for Universal's big budget remake of The Wolf Man had to go head-to-head with James Cameron's cinematic second coming, Avatar (marvel at that film's trailer here), but some in the Twitterverse have already crowned the hirsute Benicio Del Toro vehicle today's coming attractions champ.  Judge for yourself in the clip above.  It's kinda cool seeing Del Toro donning the fur and fangs, and the man's come a long way from the speech-impeded "Fenster" in The Usual Suspects.  Rumor is fellow Suspects castmate Stephen Baldwin is in talks to play the Creature from the Black Lagoon.  He'll be at Universal Studios Hollywood on Tuesdays & Wednesdays from 12pm to close, and will make party appearances, but not in costume. Here are today's working links:   Leslie In The Shower (Gorillamask) 8 Things That Will Happen During First Week of College (Holytaco) Zemeckis Wants To Trip In A Yellow Submarine (Filmdrunk)  Large Man Vs. Folding Chair (Manofest)  Decorate Your Walls With Donkey Kong (Walyou) Vampires Who Poop? That's the Del Toro Way! (Pajiba) 5 Species Trying To Take Over The Earth (Cracked) 50 Funniest Internet Infographics (Coedmagazine) Captain Kirk And Obama Are Finally Working Together (Sickpigs) 10 Best Facebook Beatdowns (Maxim) Miley Cyrus's Best Friend Is A Slut (Celebjihad) Young Comedians You Need To Know (Mademan) Strikeforce's Fedor Strategy Asking For Trouble (Cagepotato) 15 Awesome Star Wars Demotivational Pics (Unreality) 6 Unintentionally Racist Commercials (Regretfulmorning) 5 Films That Inspired Inglourious Basterds (Asylum) Don't Give A Waitress Your Assault Rifle (Bustedcoverage) The Best People's Court Line Of All Time (Uncoached) Shaq Needs Some Magic To Save His Show (Moondogsports) Fat Bus Rider Faces Off With Newton's Law (Nothingtoxic)  The Word Of The Day Is 'Douchebag' (Atomfilms) 11 New The Wolfman Photos (Filmofilia)  

WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: THURSDAY, AUGUST 20th, 2009

Thursday, August 20 by

Self-mutilation, regular mutilation, prostitutes, and Chris Rock. Tonight's TV Preview's just like Jerry Seinfeld's secret party life.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

Post Grad

Thursday, August 20 by

Director: Vicky JensonCast: Alexis Bledel, Michael Keaton, Zach Gilford, Jane Lynch, JK SimmonsSynopsis: Ryden Malby graduates from college and is forced to move back into her childhood home with her eccentric family, while she attempts to find a job, the right guy, and just a hint of where her life is headed.

WIN A ‘WORLD’S GREATEST DAD’ POSTER SIGNED BY ROBIN WILLIAMS & BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT!

Thursday, August 20 by

World's Greatest Dad is coming to theatres this Friday, August 21st, and Screen Junkies is giving away two signed posters (not pictured above)!  That's right, you could pin a glossy one-sheet autographed by Robin Williams and Bobcat Goldthwait up on your wall right next that "Hang In There" poster of a kitten dangling dangerously from a tree.  It'll bring some much needed prestige to your living quarters.All you have to do is tweet the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.You must have a Twitter account to enter and be following @screenjunkies.  Tweet your caption and include "@screenjunkies #WGD" in the tweet, and you'll be entered to win.Contest ends at 11:59pm on Monday, August 24th, and the winner will be announced on Tuesday, August 25th, via Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like.  Do it for yourself or the respect of your disapproving father.  Just bring the funny, not the emotional baggage.  Good luck! 

temp link dump

Thursday, August 20 by

Leslie In The Shower (Gorillamask)8 Things That Will Happen During First Week of College (Holytaco)Zemeckis Wants To Trip In A Yellow Submarine (Filmdrunk) Large Man Vs. Folding Chair (Manofest) Decorate Your Walls With Donkey Kong (Walyou)Vampires Who Poop? That's the Del Toro Way! (Pajiba)5 Species Trying To Take Over The Earth (Cracked)50 Funniest Internet Infographics (Coedmagazine)Captain Kirk And Obama Are Finally Working Together (Sickpigs)10 Best Facebook Beatdowns (Maxim)Miley Cyrus's Best Friend Is A Slut (Celebjihad)Young Comedians You Need To Know (Mademan)Strikeforce's Fedor Strategy Asking For Trouble (Cagepotato)15 Awesome Star Wars Demotivational Pics (Unreality)6 Unintentionally Racist Commercials (Regretfulmorning)5 Films That Inspired Inglourious Basterds (Asylum)Don't Give A Waitress Your Assault Rifle (Bustedcoverage)The Best People's Court Line Of All Time (Uncoached)Shaq Needs Some Magic To Save His Show (Moondogsports)Fat Bus Rider Faces Off With Newton's Law (Nothingtoxic) The Word Of The Day Is 'Douchebag' (Atomfilms)11 New The Wolfman Photos (Filmofilia)

‘INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS’ ACTRESS MELANIE LAURENT

Thursday, August 20 by

Melanie Laurent is the second Inglourious Basterds dame of the week, and it's nice to have some Parisian je-ne-sais-quoi accompanying our German ich-weiß-nicht-was.  In the film, Melanie's character Shoshanna Dreyfus is out for revenge via spilled Nazi Blood, and she's not afraid to weild an ax to get it.  Looks and she can chop firewood.  Talk about a double threat!    A word from Melanie: "Cause I never took theater lessons, for example. I just made movies. So I have very—and I’m French. We are lazy!"Hey, Melanie, we're lazy, too!  Let's lay around in bed all day, drink espresso, and eat crepes off of each other.  Post a message if you're down.  And why don't you check out some sexy pics of yourself while you're here!  Everyone else can look, too!

‘AVATAR’ TEASER TRAILER HAS ARRIVED…

Thursday, August 20 by

Nerd pants everywhere have tightened past the point of no return as James Cameron has unleashed a teaser trailer for his fantasy / sci-fi opus AVATAR upon the population. In the spot we catch glimpses of Sam Worthington's injured Marine gettin' Avatarded and interacting with the indigenous residents of Pandora. The digital-imaging effects really do look amazing. We haven't seen character design this revolutionary since Small Soldiers or Jak and Daxter.

‘MEGAN WANTS A MILLIONAIRE’ STAR WANTED BY POLICE

Thursday, August 20 by

Megan wants a murderer. And so do authorities. Ryan Jenkins, a contestant on VH1's hit reality show Megan Wants A Millionaire, is a person of interest in the murder investigation of his ex-wife, Jasmine Fiore. Fiore, a Playboy model, was found stuffed in a suitcase inside a L.A. dumpster on Saturday. Jenkins is believed to be on the run. Either that or he's now competing on The Amazing Race. These reality show people get around.VH1 has postponed all future airings of the series for the time-being. (NY Mag)These morning links are worth a look…New Avatar stills. (Empire)Zemeckis to live in a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine. (The Playlist)U.S. Bronson trailer is online. (Latino Review)Go Black Lightning! (Pajiba)Economic downturn forces Kids in the Hall to reunite. (TV Squad)Liev Schreiber open to a Wolverine sequel. (MTV)

THE AVATAR DAY™ SAFETY MANUAL

Wednesday, August 19 by

Nearly a month ago on a balmy July day at San Diego Comic-Con, it was announced that August 21st, 2009 would forever be known as AVATAR Day™. What exactly is AVATAR Day™? Much like Haley's Comet, AVATAR Day™ only comes around once in a lifetime and is the day that the proud filmmaker will hold an advance-screening of 16 minutes from his epic in more than 100 IMAX 3-D theaters around the world. Fans got so excited that they crashed the film's official website in an effort to reserve tickets. With expectations so high and so many movie-goers eager to catch a glimpse of the alien world Pandora, 20th Century Fox would be wise to take safety precautions.Here's what we think a safety manual for surviving AVATAR should look like:

‘VENTURE BROTHERS’ SEASON 4 TRAILER!

Wednesday, August 19 by

 The wait is almost over.  Season 4 of Adult Swim's fan-f**kin-tastic "Venture Brothers" is back for another season of action, adventure, sex, hilarity and intentional themes of epic failure around every corner. Join Dr. Venture, Hank, Dean and (maybe) Brock Landers (unless he really quit the Ventures).  If you haven't seen Team Venture in action, do yourself a favor and rent the past three seasons on DVD (Season 3 is available on Blu-Ray.  You won't regret it.  Seriously… about a hundred times more pop culture jokes than in Juno, only actually funny and somehow more credible.Here are today's IN-credible links!Jessica Canizales Doesn't Like Her Shirt On (Gorillamask) Thoughts On The Disappearing Russian Cargo Ship (Holytaco) Bootleg Avatar Trailer Exceeds Expectations (Filmdrunk) 10 Bustiest Page 3 Girls Of All time (Manofest) Brew Fresh Coffee For Two Weeks Straight (Walyou) 50 Funniest Scenes In The History Of Film (Pajiba) 27 Playboy Playmates Who Twitter (Coedmagazine)Offices And House Music Don't Mix (Sickpigs) Brett Favre's Playbook Doodles (Maxim) The Time Traveler's Awful Wife (Celebjihad) 13 Ways To Have A Threesome (Mademan) Wilks Likely For UFC 105 Against 'The Immortal" (Cagepotato) Saw VI Poster Is Weird Boxing Glove Hands (Unreality) Dissolving Bikini Offers So Many Possibilities (Asylum) Hooters Girls, Golf, And Mr. Belding (Bustedcoverage) Weird Gallery Of Creative Drinking Cans (Uncoached)2009 AFC South Preview (Moondogsports)Horses Fly When Cars Hit Them (Nothingtoxic) The Shaman At Comic-Con (Atomfilms) The Fourth Kind Trailer And Pics (Filmofilia)

‘VENTURE BROTHERS’ SEASON 4 TRAILER!

Wednesday, August 19 by

 The wait is almost over.  Season 4 of Adult Swim's fan-f**kin-tastic "Venture Brothers"is back for another season of action, adventure, sex, hilarity and intentional themes of epic failure around every corner. Join Dr. Venture, Hank, Dean and (maybe) Brock Samson(unless he really quit the Ventures).  If you haven't seen Team Venture in action, do yourself a favor and rent the past three seasons on DVD (Season 3 is available on Blu-Ray.  You won't regret it.  Seriously… about a hundred times more pop culture jokes than in Juno, only actually funny and somehow more credible. Here are today's IN-credible links! Jessica Canizales Doesn't Like Her Shirt On (Gorillamask) Thoughts On The Disappearing Russian Cargo Ship (Holytaco) Bootleg Avatar Trailer Exceeds Expectations (Filmdrunk) 10 Bustiest Page 3 Girls Of All time (Manofest) Brew Fresh Coffee For Two Weeks Straight (Walyou) 50 Funniest Scenes In The History Of Film (Pajiba) 27 Playboy Playmates Who Twitter (Coedmagazine) Offices And House Music Don't Mix (Sickpigs) Brett Favre's Playbook Doodles (Maxim) The Time Traveler's Awful Wife (Celebjihad) 13 Ways To Have A Threesome (Mademan) Wilks Likely For UFC 105 Against 'The Immortal" (Cagepotato) Saw VI Poster Is Weird Boxing Glove Hands (Unreality) Dissolving Bikini Offers So Many Possibilities (Asylum) Hooters Girls, Golf, And Mr. Belding (Bustedcoverage)  Weird Gallery Of Creative Drinking Cans (Uncoached) 2009 AFC South Preview (Moondogsports) Horses Fly When Cars Hit Them (Nothingtoxic) The Shaman At Comic-Con (Atomfilms) The Fourth Kind Trailer And Pics (Filmofilia)

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