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‘THE TOURNAMENT’ NSFW TRAILER

Monday, August 31 by

The new trailer for Scott Mann's THE TOURNAMENT hit today and we couldn't be more excited about it. The plot is simple: every seven years, in a small town, a tournament to determine the world's #1 assassin takes place. Believable? Nope. Awesome? Eff yes. If the trailer is a true indication of the tone of the movie, it's going to be, as ScreenJunkie Wookie Johnson put it, "SMOKIN' ACES without the gimmicks."     You have to admit it's a virtual who's who of badasses all crammed into one actio flick:    Marcellus Wallace from PULP FICTION? Check.  

The Tournament

Monday, August 31 by

Director: Scott Mann Cast: Ving Rhames, Ian Somerhalder, Robert Carlyle, Kelly Hu Synopsis: Every seven years in an unsuspecting town, The Tournament takes place. A battle royale between 30 of the world's deadliest assassins. The last man standing receiving the $10,000,000 cash prize and the title of Worlds No 1, which itself carries the legendary million dollar a bullet price tag.

‘HALLOWEEN 3-D’ TO BE RELEASED NEXT SUMMER

Monday, August 31 by

Despite the shortcomings of Halloween 2 at the box office this past weekend,  Bob Weinstein has announced that Michael Myers will be back to hacking and slashing next summer will another sequel… in jaw-dropping 3-D. Weinstein noted that Rob Zombie won't be back this time around as they are going in a new direction with a director 'who has experience with horror'. Negotiations are happening now so the director could not be named. Let's start speculating. Alexander Aja or Neil Marshall would be interesting choices. Or perhaps John Carpenter would return to the franchise. Oh wait. This is a schlocky sequel that is unlikely to have anything going for it beyond it's gimmicky 3-D presentation. Better get those guys from the Saw movies. (Dread Central) Stab your brain with the knowledge contained within these links… Rambo 5!!! (/Film)Burnett and Lowry to ride again in Bad Boys 3. (First Showing)Nicolas Cage is going to get points on his license. (Empire)Seth Rogen's The Green Hornet pushes back release. (The Playlist)10 TV Shows That Should Never, Ever Be Made Into Movies. (io9)

GEORGE CLOONEY IS A JEDI MASTER

Friday, August 28 by

The Men Who Stare At Goats Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosAbove is the brand new trailer for THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS, the based-on-a-true-story-and-a-bestselling-book flick that stars George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, AVATAR's Stephen Lang and Kevin Spacey as U.S. Army men who are part of the military's special program for paranormal soldiers. Lang can run through walls, Spacey is a psychic, Clooney can kill livestock with his mind, and Jeff Bridges is the party dude.  Party down with these weekend links:  Michelle Mayden Stretches Out Her Suit (Gorillamask) Read This Flowchart Before You Bang A Fat Chick (Holytaco) Robin Williams Returns To Sucking (Filmdrunk) 15 Sexy Twitter Babes To Tweet (Manofest) USB Crunching Rocky Bolboa Goes The Distance (Walyou) Rachel Weisz Lights Up 'Agora' Trailer (Pajiba) 5 Badass Movie Characters Who Are Real People (Cracked) Piven's Mercury Poisoning Is Bullshit (Heeb) 10 Signs You Might Be A Douche (Coedmagazine) 10 Awesome Predator Tattoos (Maxim) Girls Gone Wild Guy Sucker Punches Playmate (Celebjihad) How To Sleep With Your Teacher (Mademan) Mark Kerr Has No Chance In Hell (Cagepotato) Tarantino Reviews 'There Will Be Blood' (Unreality) 7 Worst Things Guys Do In Public Restrooms (Asylum) Lou Holtz Tackles Healthcare On Hannity (Moondogsports) First Person View Of Jet Crash (Nothingtoxic) Plaxico Burress' PSA On Gun Safety (Atomfilms)

Men Who Stare At Goats

Friday, August 28 by

Director: Grant HeslovCast: George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey, Jeff Bridges Synopsis: A reporter in Iraq might just have the story of a lifetime when he meets Lyn Cassady, a guy who claims to be a former member of the U.S. Army's First Earth Battalion, a unit that employs paranormal powers in their missions.

WHAT’S ON TV THIS WEEKEND: FRIDAY, AUGUST 28th-SUNDAY, AUGUST 30th 2009

Friday, August 28 by

Pedophiles and giant creatures of the deep. This weekend's TV Preview is like an octopus. All hands. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP   NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘THE FINAL DESTINATION’ ACTRESS SHANTEL VANSANTEN

Friday, August 28 by

If you can't tell by the way she commands your attention in the above pic, Shantel VanSanten started out as a model.  She's also done a couple of guest spots in TV shows, but this Friday she can be seen in The Final Destination, where her character Lori Milligan is sure to die.  Come on, we all know it's going to happen.  She's hot and she's not the lead actress.  That means her character is as dead as glamrock, and when the sh*t goes down it's going to go down in glorious 3-D.          A word from Shantel: "I am not a fan of horror films." Ummmmm… Eeeeesh… We're not quite sure how to tell you this, Shantel… But, you're starring in a horror movie this weekend.  You know what, nevermind.  We don't want to ruin the surprise.  How about we check out more pics of you after the jump, instead!  

IF HORROR MOVIE ADS WENT POLITICAL

Friday, August 28 by

Today we have two heavyweights of horror squaring off at the box office. Rob Zombie is back with another gritty entry of his HALLOWEEN II re-imagining. And Death returns with another grisly, innards-spilling adventure in THE FINAL DESTINATION. Both of these splatter fests are vying for your vote this weekend. But which will you vote for with your hard-earned dollars? The gentleman from Haddonfield or the old lion of mortality? The race has grown pretty ugly and to help you decide, we have smears ads from both candidates. Check them out and remember to vote at the multiplex. You can be the change that you want to see in the world..   First up, Michael Myers…

WORLD ENDS IN NEW ’2012′ POSTERS

Friday, August 28 by

The new posters for Roland Emmerich's 2012 have been released by Sony and they are almost completely over-the-top. In addition to the Christ the Redeemer statue belly-flopping on Corcovado, another features a massive tidal wave dropping the U.S.S. John F. Kennedy on the White House (I'm hoping for a third where Mayans give us the finger). This really looks like more of the same from Emmerich; a man who has made a career out of destroying landmarks. Watch your back, Liberty Bell. (/Film) These links have an 80% chance of precipitation… George Clooney Stares at Goats in new trailer. (Cinema Blend)Rob Zombie to dirty up The Blob. (Dread Central)Apatow talks Anchorman 2, doesn't say very much. (Empire)Michael Bay hires fact-checkers for James Frey story. (Cinematical)Summer Glau infiltrates Dollhouse. (Pajiba)

HITLER HATES THE ‘AVATAR’ FOOTAGE

Thursday, August 27 by

If INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS can toy with Hitler history, then so can YouTuber "GhostsAndAliens," whose Fuhrer-riffic mash-up of DOWNFALL features Adolph's less than indifferent reaction to the news that the general population of movie fandom was more than indifferent about the AVATAR footage shown thus far.  Here are some links which, like Avatar, probably look better in 3-D: Carin Ashley And A Robe (Gorillamask) Crows: Our Future Overlords (Holytaco) Spielberg Options Book Over Crichton's Dead Body (Filmdrunk) 20 Fat People Wearing Spandex (Manofest) Finally, You Can Pinch A Loaf In The Dark (Walyou) Bad Horror Movies Will Never Go Away (Pajiba) Excuses For Owning SI Swimsuit Issue (Cracked) The 'Bear Jew' Video Game Hits Hard (Heeb) Be A Good Pot Activist (Coedmagazine) Track How Fat You're Getting, Fatty (Maxim) Miley Cyrus Rockin' Short Shorts (Celebjihad) Robocop Riding A Unicorn. 'Nough Said. (Mademan) Rumor: Kenny Florian Vs Clay Guida At UFC 106 (Cagepotato) 15 Examples Of Dumbing Down Movie Posters (Unreality) The Manliest Restaurant In America Has Been Found! (Asylum) Titans Cheerleaders Bikini Runway Show (Bustedcoverage) Vols Ed Orgeron Will Sign FL Prep Football Talent (Moondogsports) Man Crashes His Nifty Scooter (Nothingtoxic) Cool 'The Final Destination' Poster (Filmofilia)

WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: THURSDAY, AUGUST 27th, 2009

Thursday, August 27 by

Werewolves, a Coen Bros classic, and MTV's Guy Block. The 15 year-old me is LOVING tonight's TV Preview (as is the modern-day me).   CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP   NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘THE FINAL DESTINATION’ ACTRESS KRISTA ALLEN

Thursday, August 27 by

Krista Allen has been hot for a very long period of time, and continues to be hot.  Maybe that's why she's playing "MILF/Samantha" in The Final Destination opening this Friday.  We've seen Krista from all different kinds of angles, but we've NEVER seen her in 3D.  Something tells us it could be the best use of a film medium that Avatar claims to have on lockdown. A word from Krista: "At a pool party, with everybody around, a guy and I had sex in the pool, but nobody knew it." Well Krista, we've got some news for you.  Dustin Diamond was at that pool party, watching you, masturbating in the hot tub, and no one knew it (except us).  Dustin doesn't have that moment anymore, but he does have hot pics of you after the jump! 

FINAL DESTINATION DEATH MONTAGE

Thursday, August 27 by

In anticipation of THE FINAL DESTINATION, opening Friday, here's a heartfelt tribute to all the poor souls who met an early end at the cold, calculating hands of death.Music by Boyz II Men, who've experienced the same fate at the cruel hands of the music industry.Singing along is encouraged. Peace. 

IS THIS A ‘CLOVERFIELD 2′ VIRAL?

Thursday, August 27 by

CHUD has alerted us to a video that may or may not be viral marketing for Cloverfield 2. For the most part, everyone is leaning toward not. As far as anyone knows, Matt Reeves is the intended director and he's got his hands full currently with his adaptation of Let The Right One In. So if this isn't a viral tease from the studio it must be fan-made. Which is notable considering the film came out over two years ago to mixed reviews. Yet some piece of it must have stayed with all of us because here we are speculating. Check out the video below.Wait a second… the voice in this video is clearly speaking Japanese. And we see a tricerotops fountain intercut with seemingly-unconnected flashes of a baby and what could be a giant monster. It all makes sense now. This is obviously a Japanese advertisement for soap. Stranger ads have come out of that country in the past.   These links would never tease you…  International poster for Jennifer's Body makes fine use of airbrush (Latino Review) Armored trailer lookin' good (Empire) New Avatars revealed (Cinematical) 'Rampage' Jackson will take no pity on fools. (MTV) Jet Li tired of sucking (Cinema Blend) Heathers: The TV Show (/Film)

Chimp Exposed to Magic Trick Goes Ape Sh*t

Wednesday, August 26 by

Chimp exposed to Magic Goes Apesh*t – Watch more Funny VideosIt turns out that after the age of ten you have to be a monkey to still find magic fascinating. The bandana-sporting simian in this clip is literally going apesh*t over these tricks, and it's so damn adorable! The constant slide whistle sounds and florescent squiggly lines don't hurt the effect either. David Copperfield, I believe you've met your match. Bring on the wind machines and erotic monkey assistants! Vegas can't wait for this act! [via Buzzfeed] Lauren Jones And A Pink Bikini (Gorillamask) 7 People Who Will Be In Your English 101 Class (Holytaco) Soul Train: The Movie: Electric Boogaloo (Filmdrunk) 25 Sexiest Celebrity Cowgirl Photos (Manofest) Rubik's Cube For The Blind (Walyou) The Five Scariest Movie Clowns (Pajiba) 15 Most Baffling Boasts In The Rap Game (Cracked) 12 Dumbest Convicted Athletes (Coedmagazine) Maxim's 12 Hottest Swimsuit Videos (Maxim) K. Fed Looks Pregnant And Yellow (Celebjihad) Ed Hardy Must Be Stopped (Mademan) Emelianenko Vs. Rogers For This Fall (Cagepotato) 15 Toughest NES Games Of All Time (Unreality) Stop Masturbating So Much (Regretfulmorning) Jason Biggs Attacked By Monkey (Asylum) Texas A&M Football Talent Show Is Quite Gay (Bustedcoverage) 2009 AFC West Preview (Moondogsports) Idiot Breaks Back After Bridge Jump (Nothingtoxic) A Different Sort Of Beer Goggles (Atomfilms) New 'Jennifer's Body' Poster And Featurette (Filmofilia)

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