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Monday TV Preview

Monday, April 27 by

Gear up in your yellow tights and grab your utility belt, the Heroes season 3 finale is tonight, and why not invite some of your comic book crazy friends over to send off the show in style? Also, tonight is notable for a Jack Bauer interrogation with a post heart attack, bed ridden Jonas Hodges (Jon Voight), the evil CEO of StarkWood Corp. Sure hope Bauer doesn't seizure up while he's squeezing the truth of Hodges. Your preview after the break.

TYSON THREATENS MOVIE CRITICS WITH FACIAL SODOMY

Monday, April 27 by

Sony Classics' Mike Tyson documentary simply dubbed, Tyson, opened this past Friday and had a strong per screen average of $25,890 opening day*, more than quintupling the per-screen average of its cat-fighting counterpart, Obsessed, and figuratively punching Beyoncé right in the uterus, Robin Givens-style. Our friends at Holy Taco have posted an op-ed piece from The New York Times written by Mike Tyson himself, in response to the very small number of haters who panned a film most critics are calling "turbulently candid and hypnotic."  I don't remember the last time I was hypnotized by turbulence, but it's fun unpacking your adjectives in reviews.  Unless you're Rex Reed, who just calls everything "incendiary," including fire.  Check out the piece at Holy Taco here. And if you haven't seen the trailer, you can watch it after the jump.  It's insendeeahwee.  *Source: Leesmovieinfo.com

MEGAN FOX DISROBES FOR ‘JONAH HEX’

Monday, April 27 by

A month or so ago, movieblips posted a photo of Megan Fox on the set of  Warner Bros.' adaptation of Western comic book Jonah Hex.  In the photo, she was hiding her costume under a shapeless white robe.  Well, now we know what was under all along, and boy oh boy, is it worth the wait.In the film, Fox plays a character named Leila, who to our knowledge is a new character created for the film version, the story of which is about the scarred bounty hunter (played by Josh Brolin), who tries to track a voodoo practitioner with plans to free the Confederate South with an army of the undead.  You could wake the dead just by clicking on the thumbnail images below.  Seriously, corsets are inhumane.  But god do they look good.  I blame Barbie.                              

Jonah Hex

Monday, April 27 by

Director: Jimmy HaywardCast: Megan Fox, Josh Brolin, Will Arnett, John MalkovichSynopsis: In the Wild West, a scarred bounty hunter tracks a voodoo practitioner bent on liberating the South by raising an army of the undead.

PHOTOS OF ANGELINA JOLIE AS A STYLISH HOBO IN ‘SALT’

Monday, April 27 by

This morning, ComingSoon.net got hold of new photos from the set of Columbia Pictures' Salt.  The photos are of Angelina Jolie dressed like a very stylish bag lady or "hoboess" (or maybe hobess?) riding atop a train at presumably high speeds.                           In Salt, Jolie plays CIA officer Evelyn Salt, who is accused of being a Russian sleeper spy, and has to go on the run to clear her name.  And according to ComingSoon.net, "Using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative, she must elude capture and protect her husband or the world's most powerful forces will erase any trace of her existence.                    They left out the part about Salt doing it all with only a red polka dotted handkerchief tied to the end of stick, and having to subsist on shoe leather stew and harmonica music.

Salt

Monday, April 27 by

Director: Philip NoyceCast: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel EjioforSynopsis: In Columbia Pictures' "Salt," Angelina Jolie stars as Evelyn Salt, a CIA officer who swore an oath to duty, honor, and country. When she is accused by a defector of being a Russian sleeper spy, Salt goes on the run to clear her name and ultimately prove she is a patriot. Using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative, she must elude capture and protect her husband or the world's most powerful forces will erase any trace of her existence. Release Date: July 23, 2010

Dollhouse Recap: Haunted

Monday, April 27 by

Dewitt’s personal friend, Margaret Brashford, enlists the Dollhouse services as a post-mortem client seeking to uncover the secrets behind her own murder. Life After DeathMargaret Brashford rears up on her favorite horse to tell her husband to be good.  Jack is sitting with his buddies, mulling over whether or not they should play tennis or drink long island iced-teas.  Jack’s wife is a millionaire and has better than 30 years on him.  A lot of assumptions can be made about their marriage, based on their age difference and her affluence.  But Jack smiles lovingly as his wife rides off and continues to joke with his buddies.  The smiles fade from their faces when Margaret’s horse returns without a rider. Topher activates Echo.  When she sits up Adelle is standing there.“What’s wrong?” Echo asks.“Margaret, I am sorry to be the one to tell you: you’re dead,” Adelle replies.  Apparently, Echo has been activated with Margaret’s persona. 

Breaking Bad Recap: Better Call Saul

Monday, April 27 by

The episode starts with that dorky guy from Hustle and Flow trying to buy some ice from Badger (who by the way is one of my favorite characters).  It appears Heisenberg has cornered the market and jacked up the price. After the dorky guy assures Badger that he’s not a cop, he buys some glass…then arrests Badger.   Hook up side note: Jesse got a little skin from his building manager Jane.   In other news, Hank’s having a minor meltdown because Tortuga got his head blown up on that tortoise. So Walt goes over there to try to talk some sense into him. Walt tells him that “fear us the enemy” and that he should kick those responsible for the explosion right in the teeth.   Once again, Jesse and Walt are short on payments from their underlings. Guess who’s short, good old Badger. They find out that Badger got busted.   Badger is in an interrogation room getting hounded by that dorky guy (I refuse to imdb his name). And in busts Bob Odenkirk of Mr.

Tribute to Bea Morning News

Monday, April 27 by

We report with great sadness that TV Land has lost one of its greats. Bea Arthur passed away quietly over the weekend at the edge of 86. Best known for her work on Maude and The Golden Girls, Arthur was an undeniable presence in American sitcoms and an unmistakable influence on popular culture. Miss Arthur, we salute you. If we weren't so lousy with ropes the flag outside of our offices would fly at half-mast today. Ghostbusters: The Game opening cinematic kinda expository (/Gamer) A Trekkie's tale (Newsweek)Natalie Portman launches online film school (MakingOf.com)Überprüfen Sie das Filmposter für Brüno! (/film)Get ready for another 30 Days of Night (MTV)

‘H2: HALLOWEEN 2′ TRAILER

Saturday, April 25 by

LET THE ‘X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE’ EASTER EGG HUNT COMMENCE

Friday, April 24 by

Went to a screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine tonight.  I can't give a proper review or anything, as I don't want to get blacklisted from future Fox screenings for the rest of my days.  But I can say that director Gavin Hood was in attendance tonight and gave a heartfelt speech prior to the film, in which he swore up and down that there were 400+ incomplete effects shots in the stolen/leaked version of the film, and that it hadn't been color timed, the score hadn't been added, and the sound design was unfinished.  He also mentioned that there are two different Easter egg scenes they shot to appear after the end credits, and they will be randomly dispersed.So, a print in, say, Los Angeles may have a different Easter egg ending than a print in, say, Santa Monica.  I only saw one of the two Easter eggs, and I'll just say it involves another mutant who's been rumored to be getting his own film.  Here's a clue:

AMBER HEARD IS NUDE IN ‘THE INFORMERS’ YOU SAY?

Friday, April 24 by

Amber Heard is in The Informers out in limited release today.  Given it's based off of a Bret Easton Ellis novel, there's a high probability she plays a young, jaded, affluent woman who does a lot of drugs, has sex with numerous people, and is void of any redeemable qualities.  Early reviews of this film seem to point out that the flick itself is as unlikable as its upper crust characters, but that Heard's nudity is an incentive to see it anyway.  We haven't seen the movie as of this post, but will be doing so promptly after typing that last sentence, which is now.  Have a good weekend and…Enjoy the photos of Amber after the jump.

FIGHTING CREATES SAD FACES

Friday, April 24 by

Fighting Makes Sad Faces (FilmDrunk)55 Scandalous Barbie Photos (Manofest)Lets Shag Ass! (Pajiba)Becky B's Spank Bank (GorillaMask)Hilarious Egg Genie (IAmBored)5 Retarded Superstitions (Cracked)Robert Rodriguez To Direct Predators (Filmofilia)

NEW ‘HALLOWEEN: H2′ TRAILER

Friday, April 24 by

The new trailer for Rob Zombie's H2 Halloween reboot sequel is out. I think this might be the first sequel of a reboot to a franchise that actually specifically refers to itself as a sequel in the title.  But I could be wrong.  Feel free to berate me in the comments section, but be constructive, now!  The trailer, which you'll find after the jump, starts out with a post car accident Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) repeating "I killed him" ad nauseam while some poor beat cop can't get her to say who she killed, because, you know, that would be useful for the paperwork he's going to have to file.  Then we go to the hospital, where Laurie's admitted, broken leg and all, to recover.  You know, I was excited for this until I saw that they gave her a broken leg.  Do you realize how good sound designers are these days at making bone cracking sounds?  Yeah.  It's to the point where you don't have to even show the bone breaking.  You just need to have some Foley artist in a 5 x 5 box crinkling Cheetos bags into a microphone.  Chills.  Then vomiting, I tell you. 

Weekend TV Preview

Friday, April 24 by

This weekend's coming in hot. A bunch of babes get their brains re-programmed and complete various secret missions in Dollhouse, Bob Odenkirk from Mr Show guests on Breaking Bad, and I hope your not flying anytime soon, because discovery is running a 2 hour marathon of devastating plane crashes on Sunday night. Right after the break, check out a portly foreigner on a beach who's surprised to see a 747 make a water landing right in front of him.

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