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Weekend TV Preview

Friday, April 24 by

This weekend's coming in hot. A bunch of babes get their brains re-programmed and complete various secret missions in Dollhouse, Bob Odenkirk from Mr Show guests on Breaking Bad, and I hope your not flying anytime soon, because discovery is running a 2 hour marathon of devastating plane crashes on Sunday night. Right after the break, check out a portly foreigner on a beach who's surprised to see a 747 make a water landing right in front of him.

‘OBSESSED’ REVIEWED BY HACKY BLACK COMIC

Friday, April 24 by

By Taco Perkins Editor’s Note: Per Taco Perkins’ request, we have provided a sample of LL Cool J’s “Rock the Bells.”  According to Taco, this will get you in the proper mood for his comical stylings. TacoPerkins Opening – Watch more Funny Videos

Morning News That Will Cut You

Friday, April 24 by

Fans of excessive knife-based violence rejoice!! The web is abuzz with reports that Robert Rodriguez is bringing a feature length Machete to the big screen with filming set to begin as early as June. The film stars Danny Trejo as a double-crossed assassin on a vengeance mission. Rodriguez is set to co-direct with his longtime editor Ethan Maniquis. No word yet on which director has final cut. Ha-cha-cha-cha!!Full story here (Empire)NBC trims Heroes show order. (TV Guide)  Stephen Sommer's G.I. Joe movie has super suits. Set disbelief to 'suspend'. (io9)  Very cool Star Wars paintings. (/film) Anna Faris reaches her sexual qouta. Dang it!! (Pajiba)  Burning Down The House: The Story of CBGB opens at Tribeca Film Festival. (MTV) 

LEONARDO LINKS, DONATELLO STILL DOES MACHINES.

Thursday, April 23 by

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Southland Recap: See the Woman

Thursday, April 23 by

Domestic disputes, botched tracheotomies, stolen vehicles, and Tom Sizemore make for another interesting episode in this week’s installment of Southland TherapySherman begins his day by sharing a few words with his shrink.  She’s moved from her private practice and it’s only her second day with the department.  They talk about private school, and Sherman mentions that he used to attend private school until his father walked out on his mom.  Then he went to public school.  He reveals his family history for those of you who missed it last week.  Sherman’s father was a defense attorney who had some seedy clients.  At age ten his father split, but one of his clients visited Sherman’s home and beat up his mother while the boy watched. 

30 Rock Recap: The Ones

Thursday, April 23 by

The show opens with Liz Lemon and Jack and at a jewelry store where Jack informs Liz that he is buying Elisa an engagement ring. Liz is surprised but Jack informs her that Elisa is 'The One'. Pulling a classic Lemon, Liz then drops the ring down a heating vent. It then cuts to the TGS crew standing around with Kenneth explaining to them that they cannot bring in a box of donuts because of the risk of food allergies, including his own severe allergy to strawberries. It turns out that the box of donuts was actually just a prank to scare Lutz, who ends up falling back into a TV monitor and hurting himself.As Liz enters her office she finds Elisa who, unknown to Jack, has actually been back in town for three weeks. Elisa tells Liz that she has a terrible secret and cannot marry Jack. She asks Lemon to break the news to Jack, gives her a pretty unnecessary but awesome kiss goodbye, and is gone.

Parks and Recreation Recap: The Reporter

Thursday, April 23 by

The episode opens, as the others have, with Leslie outdoors with some children. But this time, to digress from the other episodes, they are on a pre-teen nature hike (it used to be a teen nature hike, but they changed the name after a girl got pregnant, confesses Knope), where she unwittingly eats a poisonous plant for no apparent reason, and as her tongue begins to swell, the credits kick in. Welcome to Pawnee!

Thursday TV Preview

Thursday, April 23 by

Tonight's Thursday night TV, packed to the brim (on NBC) with new episodes for three glorious hours, is your chance to start giving Parks and Recreation a chance. Yeah, it started a little slow, and sure isn't getting any love anywhere, but it's got a Poehler-load of potential and it's leaps and bounds funnier than other shows out there (plus, Rashida Jones is a BABE). So give P&R a whirl, and check out the full preview after the break.

10 TMNT CHARACTERS WE WANT ON FILM

Thursday, April 23 by

So, by now everyone knows that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are getting yet another big screen live-action movie via Legendary Pictures & The Mirage Group.  I say huzzah, dudes! …

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (2011)

Thursday, April 23 by

A live action retelling of the Ninja Turtles' origin story, from Mirage Studios and Executive Producer Peter Laird. 

ROONEY MARA IN TALKS TO PLAY NANCY IN ‘NIGHTMARE’ REBOOT

Thursday, April 23 by

The other week, we spent a whole feature speculating which actress would/should take over the role of heroine Nancy Thompson in Platinum Dunes and Sam Bayer's A Nightmare on Elm Street remake.  Well, now Bloodydisgusting reports that actress Rooney Mara is in negotiations to do just that.Judging by Mara's credits, which include a couple episodes of "E.R." and the upcoming Youth in Revolt with Michael Cera, the negotiations probably involved Platinum Dunes calling up Mara's representation, Mara's representation calling Mara into a meeting to tell her, Mara hesitating for a nanosecond to take in what this will mean for her career, Mara's representation slapping Mara hard across the face (probably back-handed for emphasis), and then Mara taking the gig and agreeing to also schlep coffee and wax the producer's car when she's not shooting a scene – SAG rules be damned. 

Hey You Guuyysss!! Morning News

Thursday, April 23 by

Corey Feldman spilled the beans on his blog yesterday about Empire Magazine's Goonies reunion interview and photo-shoot. He noted that the entire cast and Richard Donner and Steven Spielberg were on-hand to reminisce about the classic film. That must have been an awkward room.   COREY: Hi Steven! SPEILBERG: Oh, hi Corey… how's things? COREY: Good, you know. Working on my music. That kinda thing. Still acting though. Still into that. SPEILBERG: Oh… Yeah… That's pretty cool. COREY: How about you? Got anything coming up? Maybe you could find me a rol– SPEILBERG: Hey Corey. Sorry. I've been ignoring Chunk all night. Let me just pop over and say hi to him. COREY: Oh. Yeah. Sure. Totally. Say hi to Chunk. We'll catch up later.   (notices Richard Donner a few feet away.)   COREY: Oh. Hey Richard! Here's the rest of your morning news… Spiderman 4 in 3D. Wow! It's like Kirsten Dunst's teeth are really poking out at you. (/film)   Kate Mara joins Iron Man 2. (Empire) Rooney Mara joins A Nightmare On Elm Street. (Bloody Disgusting) Billy Bob Thornton calls bloggers humpbacked geeks. Hey!!!! (Film Drunk)  New live-action Ninja Turtle movie on the way. (Latino Review)

Scrubs Recap: My Cuz

Wednesday, April 22 by

J.D. struggles with the realities of being a part time father when he learns that Kim is now dating Sean, Elliot’s ex-boyfriend.  Meanwhile, Turk busts some balls to get promoted to the position of Chief of Surgery. Car SexElliot and J.D. are in the car on the way to Kim’s house to drop off Sam.  Kim answers the door and adjusts J.D.’s collar.  On the way home Elliot makes J.D. pull over for car sex so she can mark her territory.  Elliot's possessive nature forces her to get intimate with J.D. if Kim so much as touches him.  J.D. has found a way to make this work to his advantage.  The next time he drops Sam off, he places a piece of fuzz in his own hair so that Kim will reach into it and pluck the fuzz, sending Elliot into a frenzy.  Before leaving for car sex, Kim introduces her new boyfriend, Sean, who is Elliot’s ex and J.D.’s arch-nemesis. Making It Happen

OBSESSED WITH ALI LARTER

Wednesday, April 22 by

This Friday, Obsessed opens in theaters.  If you aren't aware, it's basically a reimagining of Fatal Attraction, only the filmmakers replaced Michael Douglas and Anne Archer with 'The Wire' & 'The Office's Idris Elba and Beyoncé Knowles, thereby creating the setup for 1000 standup jokes about how 'that white bitch Glenn Close' would never 'have f*cked with Beyoncé.'  Obsessed also stars Ali Larter in the Glenn Close role, and judging by the trailer, I bet Ali's jaw is still sore from all the scenery she chewed while making the film.  Check out the photos of Ali after the jump:

HIT GIRL: THE BARELY LEGAL ASSASSIN

Wednesday, April 22 by

The above pic is of actress Chloe Moretz as Hit Girl/Mindy Macready in Mathew Vaughn's Kick-Ass.  Read more on her developments at FilmofiliaToday's Links:We Want The Old Wayans Brothers (FilmDrunk)The Best Public Access Video Ever! (Manofest)What's The Worst Sequel Ever? (Pajiba)Markesa's Hot Spank Bank (GorillaMask)Pre-Interview Tony Danza (IAmBored)6 Awesome Villain Lairs (Cracked)New Motion Picture Purgatory (DreadCentral)Action Figures We Can Relate To (Holytaco)Catrinel Menghia Is HOT (BustedCoverage)Lisa Rinna Is Still Smoking (Uncoached)Kings Gets Booted To Summer (Unreality)Are Rock Music Doc's Dying? (ThePlaylist)Gom Totemeal (TomOatmeal)Awesome Spin Kick KO (NothingToxic)

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