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JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRL FIGHTS VAMPIRES, ‘BLOOD’ ENSUES

Friday, May 1 by

The new U.S. version of the trailer for the Blood: The Last Vampire live-action adaptation is here.  It's got rice hat sporting dudes wielding katanas and popping out of the ground, ass-kicking vampires dressed like schoolgirls and voiceover from a guy who makes the Optimus Prime sound like a castrato.  Check it out after the jump.Blood: The Last Vampire opens in theaters this summer.

Weekend TV Preview

Friday, May 1 by

Look at this glorious beast…Besides hunting your children and howling at the moon, the Yellowstone Wolf struggles for life in Yellowstone National Park amongst harsh conditions. Discovery has an Planet Earth-like series following this noble creature as it dodges geysers, battles bears for buffalo meat and survives in one of the last great pieces of vast wilderness. Video of a wolf/bear battle, a gas tanker exploding, and previews of Dollhouse and Breaking Bad after the jump.

‘THE OFFICE’: CASUAL FRIDAY + DAVE M. RAGES AGAINST B.J. NOVAK!

Friday, May 1 by

[Editor's Note: Per writer "Dave M's" request, we're making this one quick, so that we can get to the real meat of this post, his impassioned letter to actor B.J. Novak.  Also, ScreenJunkies in no way endorses or agrees with Dave M's point of view.]Okay, Office Lovers.  We learned from this week's episode that Michael, Pam and Ryan have rejoined the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin and it's about time.  Splitting the glibness between 2 offices seemed a bit of a challenge for NBC's Office writing staff as the show ventured into more awkward situational humor than actual laughs during the last several Idris Elba-filled episodes… 

The Girlfriend Experience

Friday, May 1 by

Director: Steven Soderbergh Cast: Sasha Grey, Chris Santos Synopsis: A drama set in the days leading up to the 2008 Presidential election, and centered on a high-end Manhattan call girl meeting the challenges of her boyfriend, her clients, and her work. Genre: Documentary Release Date: July 15, 2009

Southland Recap: Sally in the Alley

Friday, May 1 by

Detectives Clarke, Adams, Bryant, and Moretta take the spotlight in this week’s episode of Southland to investigate the murder of a young woman in South Central Los Angeles. Sally in the AlleyThe body of a young woman has been discarded on the side of the road.  A group of kids are huddled around throwing balls at it.  A few of them pull out their cell phones to take pictures and record a video.  Some time later a call is made to report the body, and shortly thereafter the detectives show up.  Shockingly, this scenario occurs with such frequency that it has its’ own slang reference.  A slain, discarded female body is known in Cop jargon as 9 Sally in the alley.” 

Parks and Recreation Recap: Boy’s Club

Friday, May 1 by

The episode opens with Leslie and Tom driving out to a hiking trail where, as Tom informs the camera, teenagers are thought to be digging out bags of dog poop out of the garbage and throwing them at each other, as a game. Knope is skeptical, but she and Tom quickly find out it is a harsh reality, as Leslie is pummeled by multiple bags, defending herself with a trash can lid, while Tom takes refuge in the car. Leslie quickly changes her attitude regarding the fighting as she begins to defend herself, hurling back the bags with vigor. Welcome to Pawnee, everybody!

‘X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE’ REVIEW

Friday, May 1 by

I have to warn you: I’ve been an X-Men fan since I was a young’un, even going so far as to have an X-Men tattoo emblazoned onto my left arm in college.  Regrettably, my choice – a Jim Lee-era black circle with an “X” inside and red filler – can sometimes be mistaken for neo-Nazi chic.  Consequently, my wardrobe will forever include sleeves.  Last week, I caught a screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and director Gavin Hood gave a very sobered speech prior to rolling the film.  In it, he made it crystal clear that the now-infamous leaked version– the one that was critically bashed – was missing about 400 effects shots, an entire score, sound design, and the color timing had not been done, either.  In effect, it was a rough cut.  I haven’t seen it, though I must admit curiosity after rumors came out that the finished film and the leaked version were virtually the same, in terms of the edit.  But I went into it with optimism…

Revealing Morning News

Friday, May 1 by

USA TODAY has an exclusive first pic from the eagerly-anticipated Iron Man 2. The still shows Tony Stark in his lab with a handful of Iron Man and War Machine suits. But wait, what is that in the background? It's blurry but I think that's a Wonder Woman costume. Looks like Robert Downey Jr. is up to his old tricks. Cobra attacks France in new G.I. Joe trailer. 57 mimes killed. (Empire) T-Pain joins live action Aqua Teen Hunger Force; has World's Greatest Career. (NY Mag) Development of Arrested Development movie arrested. (MTV) Crispin Glover is all kinds of time travelly up in this piece. (Cinema Blend) The Evolution of Chuck Norris. (Cracked)

NEW ‘SPAWN’ MOVIE SPAWNS A BUNCH OF LINKS

Thursday, April 30 by

According to FilmDrunk (via IESB), Todd McFarlane is working on a new Spawn sequel.  You could read the original article, but Film Drunk's take on it is a lot fartier.  Check it out here, and then read every single one of the articles via the links below, so you can tell all your friends that you know everything cool that has happened today.  Yes, with these links, you can command the conversation.  With these links, people will like you.Zillow could be used for everything (Holy Taco)Marvel Comics Films – Worst to Best (RottenTomatoes)10 Sexiest World of Warcraft Characters OF ALL TIME! (Manofest)5 Cocktails, 5 Movies – 1 Great Article (Pajiba)55 Photo Tribute to BUSTED TEES GIRLS (Manofest)Spank Bank: The Woman Known as Kerrie (GorillaMask)A-Rod Has Bitch Tits Courtesy of ILM (SickPigs)Why Last Night's Lost was bullsh*t (UnrealityMag)Arrested Development News Develops (The Playlist)Tony Stark's Mansion Should Look Like One of These (Uncoached)Sports Illiustrated Swimsuit Model Bar Rafaeli (BustedCoverage)6 Ways That PORN RUNS THE WORLD!!! (Cracked)Danny Huston joins Clash of The Titans as Poseidon (Filmofilia)

X-MEN STORIES THAT SHOULD BE ON FILM

Thursday, April 30 by

Well, well, well.  X-Men Origins: Wolverine is finally, officially in theaters.  At the risk of sounding like a shill for Fox, might we suggest you go out and see it and actually pay for a ticket?  But we’re not here to proselytize against movie piracy.  We’re here to talk about one thing: kickass X-Men source material ready for cinematic adaptation.  Before getting into the main focus of this feature, whet your appetite with a glance at some of the major comic book stories that directly influenced X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Marvel Comics Presents: Weapon X

Thursday TV Preview

Thursday, April 30 by

Before you dress up as Gambit for the midnight screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, be sure not to miss your favorite night of TV. Tonight, Ms Knope goes head-to-head with an 'Old Boys Club', there's an interesting casual friday at the Office, Tracy Jordan tries to become more mature (see above), and the LA po-po try and track down the identity of a body that the crips and/or bloods used for target practice. Check out a full preview after the break (now with extra Creed Bratton!) 

LYNN COLLINS IS WOLVERINE’S FOX

Thursday, April 30 by

This Friday, X-Men Origins: Wolverine opens, and the world will become a lot more familiar with actress Lynn Collins, who plays Silver Fox, the lady who plays Wolverine for a fool… Where You May Have Seen Her: The Texas native played "R.C" in William Friedkin's Bug, "Suicide Blonde" in The Number 23, "Linda" in 50 First Dates and has a recurring role as "Dawn Green" in HBO's True Blood. Random Quote: "[The actors in Wolverine] were all on super-buff diets, and I had pizza most of the time. They were so jealous of me. I didn't have to beef up in this movie. I just had to wear skimpy clothes."See Photos of Lynn in Skimpy Clothes After The JUMP:

5 PERFECT MOVIES FOR SYLVESTER STALLONE

Thursday, April 30 by

Sylvester Stallone is a film institution. The muscleman’s legend spans the globe due to the iconic characters he has popularized over the years. And at almost 63 years old, he’s amazingly jacked. Seriously, you could grate Jason Statham on those abs.Here are five movie roles tailor-made for the Silver Screen hero: THE SQUEEZERIn the dangerous world of underground massage the women are beautiful, the men are hard, and the stakes are deadly. Retired assassin Grant Lovejoy went in for what he expected to be a routine rub and tug but what he got was far more draining. Now with a small bomb planted in his urethra, Lovejoy will tear through Chinatown until he exacts vengeance on all of his enemies — all while ejaculating every seven minutes. Lovejoy always wanted a happy ending in life. Careful what you wish for.

Morning News Breadcrumbs

Thursday, April 30 by

Adam McKay and Will Ferrell have picked up a pitch from Dead Snow director Tommy Wirkola. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters picks up 15 years after the traumatic events that befell the siblings in that too-good-to-be-true Gingerbread House. "The idea is, they've grown up and they hunt witches," McKay said. No cast has been announced but I expect to see Danny McBride or Jack McBrayer in lederhosen very soon. (Hollywood Reporter) Wolverine's multiple endings spoiled. (io9) Gremlins 3? (Bloody Disgusting)Roger Rabbit 2? (/Film) Clueless 2? (Cinema Blend) Jim Jarmusch steals a dude's diary. (NY Mag)

MICHAEL BAY, TYRESE & LABEOUF PUMP UP THE JAM WITH TRANSFORMERS 2 TRAILER

Wednesday, April 29 by

Tonight at The Bridge Cinema in Los Angeles, the trailer for Transformers 2 was shown in IMAX before an IMAX screening of the original film.  There to introduce the film was none other than Boom-tastic director Michael Bay, actor/singer Tyrese, and Shia LaBeouf.  As you can see from the following video, they're all working it big time, pumping up the jam like Paramount was payin' 'em the big bucks or something.  Michael Bay, Tyrese & LaBeouf Pump Up The Jam – Watch more Funny Videos No one pumps up the jam harder than Tyrese, who followed up the first showing of the sequel's trailer by telling the crowd they would be watching it again, whether they wanted to or not, even though they'd seen the trailer 100,000,000 times already from the YouTube leak that had happened about 15 hours before. Also at the screening were fans who showed up in full Transformers regalia in hopes of winning tickets to the LA premiere of Revenge of the Fallen.  Here are some of those poor bastards who had to try to squeeze their giant robot asses in movie theater seats.                      

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