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‘DEAD SNOW PROMO’ HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ACTUAL FILM, UNLESS NAZI ZOMBIES IS A METAPHOR FOR T & A

Wednesday, June 3 by

Ridiculous Dead Snow Promo – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSOur friend Dustin Rowles over at Pajiba stooped below his normal level of journalistic excellence in order to bring everyone's attention to this ridiculous promo for Dead Snow, the Norwegian Nazi Zombie horror flick we posted the trailer for a few days back.  If anyone can spot just how this video pertains to the film, you win a Screen Junkies tee-shirt.  You know how confident I am that you won't find a direct correlation?  Because we don't even have Screen Junkies tee-shirts right now.  (If you'll settle for a Holy Taco one, that's a different story.)  Today's Top Links: Josh Brolin Is Cowboy Two-Face (FilmDrunk) The 10 Greatest Conan O' Brien Characters (Manofest) Hot Tiffany Joy Gallery (GorillaMask) 5 Kinds of People Who Dont Pick Up Their Dogs Shit (RegretfulMorning) Cartoon Chicks Brawling (TheBachelorGuy) Rick Santorum Dating Advice (Asylum) Recent Grads Twitter Page (Holytaco) THe Amazing Click-A-Chick (BustedCoverage) Sexy Lana Cox (Uncoached) Left 4 Dead Trailer (Unreality) The Electric Cherry (Walyou) Turkish Talk Show Brawl (NothingToxic) Sweet Tetris Orgy (Atomfilms) The Pour Elle Remake (Filmofilia)

NEW PHOTO OF TRACY MORGAN AS A BIKE-RIDING CELL PHONE FROM ‘A COUPLE OF DICKS’

Wednesday, June 3 by

Splash News posted this new photo of Tracy Morgan in Kevin Smith's buddy cop comedy A Couple of Dicks.  No reports as to the full context of the scene, but it does appear that Mr. Morgan is dressed as a cell phone, and taking flight atop a bicycle.  As this is a cop film, my guess is that he's disguised himself as the phone – a disguise that was compromised – and then he commandeered the bicycle as the foam phone suit proved too cumbersome for fleeing on foot.  Then again, this could just be a Kevin Smith's metaphorical homage to our exponentially shifting communications technologies.  I mean, the guy did direct Mallrats, after all. See the photo in its entirety – including just what Tracy is riding his bike away from - after the jump.  [via ComingSoon]

Cop Out

Wednesday, June 3 by

Director: Kevin SmithCast: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Seann William Scott, Adam Brody, Ana De La RegueraSynopsis: A comedy about two cops whose adventures include locating a stolen baseball card, rescuing a woman, and dealing with gangsters and their laundered money.

‘STARS WARS OLD REPUBLIC’ MMO GAME TRAILER

Wednesday, June 3 by

We don't post a lot of game trailers on Screen Junkies, but this one for Bio Ware's new Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO game is too pants-crapping good to pass up.  Marvel as some Sith badasses julienne some Jedi.  All you foodies/assassins out there know what I mean! We'd like to thank one of our faithful readers, the man known as "Library," who brought this to our attention, while also making noting that the game's featured R2 unit "looks so retro, it's almost steampunk."  Mr. Library, you are a junkie, and a scholar.  Thank you for finding time in between your daily hentai viewings to submit content.

PAULY SHORE: A CAREER IN THREE JOKES

Wednesday, June 3 by

Pauly Shore is America's Great Divider. Even his blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance in a popular 42-second online film is enough to make people hate the whole thing and remind themselves and the rest of the Internet how much they hate him. LAST DAY DREAM – Watch more Funny Videos In an unprecedented move, Screen Junkies has completed the first ever survey of Pauly Shore cinematic scholars, as well as a few undergrads majoring in "Pauly Shore Studies," which some of schools in the UC system have made available as a path of metriculation.  The results of our unprecedented survey demonstrate that there are basically only three Pauly Shore jokes, repeated in film after film.  These are those jokes.

ELISABETH SHUE IS PUMPED UP ON SET OF “PIRANHA” REMAKE

Wednesday, June 3 by

Just a friendly reminder from Screen Junkies to never piss off Elisabeth Shue. We here at the site absolutely love this thespian and her solid body of work. Even Hide and Seek. With guns like those she could have easily been cast as Thor.(Photo: TMZ) The Final Destination trailer premieres…. on Friday. Sorry if I got your hopes up. (Dread Central) Dead Snow trailer is dead-Nazi-riffic! (The Playlist) Scream 4 set to become mockery of itself. (Empire) Scott Pilgrim vs. The Avengers. (/Film) First pic of Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex. Read it and weep, Thomas Jane. (Cinematical)

‘TOTAL RECALL’ REMAKE IS BEING SCRIPTED

Tuesday, June 2 by

This evening, The Hollywood Reporter posted that Kurt Wimmer, writer of Street Kings, Equilibrium, Ultraviolet and the upcoming Salt , has been hired by Neal H. Moritz and Original Films to complete a draft of a Total Recall remake.  They're calling it a "contemporized adaptation."All I'm saying is that I hope they don't go the CG-route with the three-boobed lady.  At Screen Junkies, we prefer our mutated female breasts to be all-natural latex prosthetics.

IMPETO IS THE NEXT MICHAEL GIACCHINO

Tuesday, June 2 by

This afternoon, Screen Junkies received an email from the man known as "Impeto," asking us if we might help spread his musical gospel to the online film community.  We were skeptical at first.  Impeto's broken English did not do him any favors in dispelling the thought that his email was part of an elaborate scam to drain the entirety of Screen Junkies' sizeable bank account.  But Impeto's passion transcended the need for syntax (or coherence, for that matter).  We watched the clip above and… well… we sh*t our pants a bit.  We're calling it today, June 2nd, 2009: Impeto is the next great film composer.  He may also have usurped Keyboard Cat's throne. If you can fight through the Impeto-induced tears, check out today's Top Links: MacGruber movie explodes into pre-production. (Film Drunk) Melissa Maria Gonzalez is Topless (Gorilla Mask) Review of Killshot with Joe Gordon Levitt (Pajiba) New 'Man in the Box' Episode! New 'Man in the Box' Episode! (YouTube) Are "Yoga Toes" heralding a new age of Porn? (Asylum) Cool Live Blog from E3 (UnrealityMag) Reservoir Dogs and Muppets = Hilarious (Sick Pigs) Alicia Silverstone's Daily Planner… Then and Now (Regretful Morning) Will Ferrell on "Man Vs. Wild" (The Bachelor Guy) Classic Works of Art… Updated (Holy Taco) Hooters Waitress Car Wash Returns (Busted Coverage) Norm McDonald: A Tribute to the Man That is Awesome.  Period. (Uncoached)

Promo for FOX’s ‘Human Target’ TV Show

Tuesday, June 2 by

Above is an extended promo for Fox's upcoming hour-long drama, "Human Target," based on the Vertigo comic book of the same name.  As you can see from the clip, the show follows a badass named Christopher Chance (Mark Valley) who travels around getting paid to "be a vest."  What kind of vest, you ask?  A stylish, yet durable one that's also bulletproof.  I'd like to think it's an elegant kevlar-wool blend in an earth-toned argyle pattern, because argyle will be back this Fall… just like Fox's sunday night drama time slot. "Human Target" also stars Chi McBride ("Pushing Daisies") and Jackie Earle Haley (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Watchmen).  It is slated to premier in January, 2010.[Thanks to Bruce Simmons at ScreenRant for the video, and the info on the airdate]

HUMAN TARGET

Tuesday, June 2 by

Network: FoxCast: Mark Valley, Jackie Earle Haley, Chi McBrideProducers: Jonathan E. Steinberg, Simon West, McGSynopsis: An hour-long drama based on Vertigo's espionage comic series written by Peter Milligan. The series was based on the Human Target character created in 1972 by Len Wein and Carmine Infantino.

JAMES CAMERON TALKS ‘AVATAR’ AT E3 CONFERENCE

Tuesday, June 2 by

Check out G4's near-fifteen minute clip of Avatar auteur James Cameron talking all about the film, the accompanying video game, and how at this point, he's sort of figured out that "Impossible is Nothing."  Of course, ADIDAS has been reminding us of that for years now, but it's a little harder to believe a shoe. I'm really starting to believe that James Cameron is the solution to all the world's problems.  You just have to tell him he can't do it.  Then he'll figure out a way to do it, but also make it 3-D.  I anticipate a 3-D vaccine for AIDs (in THX sound) no later than 2050.  In the meantime, bring on Avatar.

Best Scripted Shows for Summer ’09

Tuesday, June 2 by

By Len Snodgrass It’s Snodgrass: The Sequel!  And in the vein of all James Cameron sequels, this one is better than the first.  Last week, I brought you THE BEST REALITY SHOWS FOR SUMMER ’09.  Now it’s time to lay out the summer shows – both returning and new – with fictional characters you sometimes wish were real, instead of those shows with real people who often can’t believe actually exist.  Can I get a "Huzzah!" for drama and sitcom writers everywhere?!  There’s a reason the Writer’s Guild of America recognizes you and let’s the reality TV folks fend for themselves…

DANIEL CRAIG IS NOW A POPSICLE

Tuesday, June 2 by

Bizarre news out of England this morning. Del Monte held a vote amongst 1,000 British women to decide which celebrity they should create a replica of in popsicle form. And Daniel Craig is the "lucky" winner. The result looks like a cross between Han in frozen carbonite and a Tool video. Mostly it's totally creepy but I guess it's not as bad as this E.T. cake.(via The Frisky)Mo' better mo'ning headlines…Bill Murray is a man of the people. (Guardian UK)Bryan Singer is soooo over the Nazis. (The Playlist)Photographic proof of Titans clashing. (Pajiba)Best Worst Movie Director Interview. (/Film) Catching up with Problem Child's Junior. (Uncoached)

EXCLUSIVE ‘LAND OF THE LOST’ CLIP

Tuesday, June 2 by

LAND OF THE LOST CLIP – CHAKA GIVES DR. MARSHALL FOOD – Watch more Funny VideosAbove is a Break Media/Screenjunkies.com exclusive clip from Land of the Lost.  Press play to see Dr. Rick Marshal (Will Ferrell) partake in his first sample of local cuisine, which the hirsute Chaka (Jorma Taccone) is more than happy to introduce him to. I had a chance to check out the entire film last week, and I have to say that the TV promos, trailers and clips that have come out thus far aren't a fair indicator of the finished film's tone.  It's waaaay more "adult" than I imagined.  I'm not kidding when I say that the movie features bare female breasts and an F-bomb in the dialogue (though not in the way that you might expect).In short, the flick pushes its PG-13 rating to the limit.Follow Screen Junkies on TWITTEROther Junk You Might Like:Lost vs. Muppet Babies is like Wizard of Oz vs. Dark Side of the Moon.Melissa Maria Gonzalez

CARL RINSCH TO DIRECT ‘ALIEN’ PREQUEL FOR FOX

Monday, June 1 by

It's been 30 Years since Ridley Scott's Alien made audiences think twice about chest pains, and Fox has decided to extend the franchise's mythology, albeit backward with a prequel.  Read more about it at Filmofilia.  They also have apparently signed off on a director, Carl Rinsch, whose name Taking of Pelham 1,2,3 director Tony Scott dropped to Collider's Steve "Frosty" Weintraub a few days back.  Rinsch has a background in commercials (see a piece of his recent work above), and came to the attention of the Scotts when he, at the tender age of 23, walked into their commercial and music video production company RSA and slapped down his reel, after which he was promptly signed.  Let's hope Rinsch walks the David Fincher path and turns a successful commercial career into a successful feature film career, except the part where he takes whatever Fincher did with the Alien franchise and does the exact opposite.Today's Top Links: Bruno Teabags Eminem (SickPigs) Top 5 Movies You Could Never Make A Sequel To (Pajiba) Bella Valentine is kinda hot.  Maybe because it's summer (GorillaMask) Dedicated NES Fan (IAmBored) The Best House Ever (Cracked) The Elm Street Report (DreadCentral) Tribute To Men Staring At Boobs (HolyTaco) Hot Katerina Stidouki Gallery (BustedCoverage) Grooming For The Everyman (TheBachelorGuy) Mindi Smith Is Sexy (Uncoached) E3's Bayonetta Trailer (UnrealityMag) Hot Sluts, Episode 1 (AtomFilms) My Dog Is Sick! (TomOatmeal) Sexy Babes That Tweet (Chickipedia) Street Racer Dies (NothingToxic)

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