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ODE TO LANDO CALRISSIAN

Saturday, May 9 by

Dear Star Wars fans,There's something I've needed to get off of my chest for years now… something that even when pointed out and shown in plain sight may shock people.  The true hero of the Rebel cause and destroyer of the Galactic Empire is not Luke Skywalker.I'm talking about Lando Calrissian.Luke, Leia and Han, while important characters, showed nowhere near the bravery or cunning of Lando.  He's just a misunderstood character, appearing as this Galaxy's Judas to some.  But rest assured nothing could be further from the truth.  Allow me to elucidate…

FOUR MINUTES OF ‘TERMINATOR SALVATION’

Friday, May 8 by

Terminator Salvation – 4 Minutes – Watch more Movie Trailers This Guy Is The Best Shower Singer (FilmDrunk) Italians Rule The Blogosphere (MoonDogSports) Happy Mothers Day, Danzig Style (SickPigs) 25 Sexy Female Mugshots (Manofest) I Wanna Be Captain Kirk (Pajiba) Sandy Scott Is Spankin' Hot (GorillaMask) Pregnant Teens Dance (IAmBored) The 6 Greatest Battlefield Mindfucks (Cracked) Vin Diesel Is The Wheelman (Filmofilia) Hippo vs Giant Octopus (HolyTaco) Arizona States Indie Run (BustedCoverage) Monica Keena Is Way HOT (Uncoached) Jason Statham vs. Daniel Craig (Unreality) Heath Ledger In Parnassus (ThePlaylist) Missing Dog! (TomOatmeal) Pantless Dude Gets Owned (NothingToxic)

‘GLADIATOR 2′ HAS A SCRIPT ?!?!?

Friday, May 8 by

Joey, do you like sequels about gladiators?For those of us who’ve seen Ridley Scott’s Gladiator, it’s probably a safe bet to say the story of Russell Crowe’s Maximus has already reached a satisfying end.  (If you haven’t seen it and you don’t mind SPOILERS… Maximus dies at the end after accomplishing all he set out to do, leaving no room for sequels per se).Yep, there is absolutely no way an audience could ever expect anything more from Crowe and Scott’s collaboration.  A sequel – aside from being completely unnecessary – seems nearly impossible.  Where’s the entry point?  There is no way the talent involved would even think about approaching a sequel to such a celebrated, complete story.  Right?What?  We’re talking about Hollywood?  In 2009?  Oh.  Ahem.  Right.Turns out that Nick Cave, writer of Australian western The Proposition and the upcoming adaptation of The Road, has written out a Gladiator 2 script that the folks over at Gone Elsewhere got a hold of.  If you’re into lengthy reviews, then you can check it out on their site.  If you’re into the Cliff Notes, then look no further than the jump. 

TRAILER #2 FOR ‘LAND OF THE LOST’

Friday, May 8 by

Friday Afternoon Link Time

Friday, May 8 by

This Guy Is The Best Shower Singer (FilmDrunk)Italians Rule The Blogosphere (MoonDogSports)Happy Mothers Day, Danzig Style (SickPigs)25 Sexy Female Mugshots (Manofest)I Wanna Be Captain Kirk (Pajiba)Sandy Scott Is Spankin Hot (GorillaMask)Pregnant Teens Dance (IAmBored)

NEW ‘LAND OF THE LOST’ TRAILER

Friday, May 8 by

The newest trailer for the Will Ferrell comedy Land of the Lost debuted today, adn we have it after the jump.  The opening classroom scene is a nice little twisted spin on the classic Kindergarten Cop kids-say-the-darnedest-things conceit, setting up Ferrell's character as a failing scientist a bit more than we've seen in the Superbowl spot.  After that, it's pretty much two minutes of Ferrell running around and scream-talking at special effects, all underscored by The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again."  The he gets to make out with Anna Friel.  Typical.

NEW ‘GAMER’ MOTION POSTER

Friday, May 8 by

Crank writing/directing duo Neveldine & Taylor’s next movie (shot prior to Crank: High Voltage) is a futuristic thriller called Gamer, and features everyone's favorite Spartan Gerard Butler as a "star player" in a game called "Slayers," in which humans – like Butler – control other humans in online gaming environments.  Such a meta-actioner.  A metactioner.  I just coined it.  Send me money!!!Royalties aside, I think the new interactive poster for the film is worth showing you guys.  You can move your mouse over Butler's face and, instead of drawing a mustache like normal, you get to peel away layers to show the mastermind controlling him in the film.  Actually, he doesn't look super authoritarian, so maybe he's more of a middle managemind.Get to playing with Butler's face after the jump

GAMER

Friday, May 8 by

Directors: Mark Neveldine/Brian TaylorCast: Gerard Butler, Milo Ventimiglia, Alison Lohman, Michael C. Hall, Efren Ramirez, Terry CrewsSynopsis: Set in a future-world where humans can control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online gaming environments, a star player (Butler) from a game called "Slayers" looks to regain his independence while taking down the game's mastermind (Hall).(Formerly known as Citizen Game).

‘STAR TREK’ STARLET: RACHEL NICHOLS

Friday, May 8 by

Here's the last Star Trek starlet to get you prepped for Abrams's sexed up reboot, if you haven't seen it three times already.  Our featured girl's roles have gotten smaller and smaller each day, and we're ending on a girl who's character is basically the equivalent of an Original Series red shirt, minus the expendable part.  Yes, it's siren Rachel Nichols as "Gaila," the green Star Fleet Cadet! Where You've Seen Her Before: Rachel's familiar with Abrams and company, having guest starred on the fifth (and final) season of "Alias" as CIA Agent Rachel Gibson.  She also showed up in the remake of The Amityville Horror, in Charlie Wilson's War as one of "Charlie's Angels," and in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, which you have secretly seen and enjoyed on a lonely saturday night.  You're going to be seeing a lot more of Rachel this summer, as she's also starring as Scarlett in G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra.Random Quote: "I am smarter than you, and I am better looking, and I have an accomplished career, and I’m not even thirty."Well then.  See how accomplished Rachel is in these racy photos after the jump.

SOUTHLAND RECAP: TWO GANGS

Friday, May 8 by

Detective Salinger’s gun is stolen by gang bangers and the detectives launch an off-record investigation to relocate the weapon.  Their search takes them a bit deeper than they had anticipated. Worst NightmareSalinger removes himself from the driver’s seat of a vehicle he’s managed to wrap around a pole.  All that remains of the hood is warped metal and smoke.  He crumbles to his knees and spits blood.  We learn that a cop’s most commonly recurring worst nightmare is one where they lose their gun.  For Sal, the nightmare has become a reality. Everybody’s Doing ItTammy sneaks a joint in the bathroom she and Detective Bryant share.  Sam is lying in bed, calling to his wife who won’t respond.  The dog is going ape-shit, clawing at the door.  Sam bursts in to find his wife getting high.  He tells her to flush it which she does, but not before reminding him that he used to love doing it, too. Cat Lady

PARKS AND RECREATION RECAP: THE BANQUET

Friday, May 8 by

Parks and Recreation: The BanquetLeslie begins the episode by regaling the camera crew with the tale of William Bixby Mark, who traded a baby to a tribe of Native Americans for what is now Indianapolis. She then goes on to say that these same Native Americans cut off Mark’s face and crafted a dream-catcher out of it, before making rain-sticks out of his legs. After she praises the resourcefulness of these Natives, who use “every part of the pioneer”) the credits roll, and we’re off!

STAR TREK IN THEATERS NOW

Friday, May 8 by

Of course the big news this weekend is that the J.J. Abrams-helmed Star Trek is playing in wide-release. Reviews have been glowing so far and the movie is sure to rake in the Earth bucks and be a smash hit. Finally! Thanks so much for making Trek sexy and cool. Now I can wear my Spock ears in public without the fear of getting a front-wedgie. Here are more morning headlines…WEREWOLF: THE SERIES finally coming to DVD!!! (Dread Central) Bruce Willis is Obsessed with Beyonce and lawn care. (NY Mag)District 9 teaser poster is not welcoming. (Yahoo)Mike Tyson sings! Please auto-tune. Kthxbai. (The Playlist) Sin City 2: City Of Sin in the works. (Latino Review)More MAD TV. God. Please, why?! (TV Squad) Happy Mother's Day! (THR)

RON JEREMY’S ‘ONE EYED MONSTER’ IS NSFW!

Thursday, May 7 by

One Eyed Monster Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersThis is the trailer for the film, One Eyed Monster starring Ron Jeremy, available on DVD right now.  It's a horror movie about Jeremy's detached penis going on a rampage, and an adult film crew banding together to stop it, natch.  Somewhere, a Gender Studies professor is already beginning her dissertation on the film as a biting media satire, but I'm pretty sure it's just about a giant dick killing people.  At about 1:59 in the clip, an actor pretty much sums up the movie, and his line delivery is so earnest, he should win an award or something.    Check out the links from some other huge dicks that we fear & respect. Favre's Agent Wants To Win Another Superbowl (MoonDogSports) 10 Hilarious Movies That Got Awful Reviews (UnrealityMag) Mike Tyson Sings Phil Collins (FilmDrunk) Images of Robert Downey Jr. in his Iron Man 2 Suit (Pajiba) '12 Months' In Estonian (Manofest) The Keyboard Cat Should Have co-starred in Garfield 2 (SickPigs) Carla Morgan Is Spankin' Hot (GorillaMask) This Guy's The Life Of THe Party (IAmBored) Star Trek's Most Ridiculous Alien Races (Cracked) Awesome District 9 Trailer (Filmofilia) Manny Ramirez's Steroid Storyboards (Holytaco) Eyes Wide Shut Orgy, Arizona State-style (BustedCoverage) Hotties In The Wild Internet (Uncoached)

10 HOTTEST MOVIE MOMS

Thursday, May 7 by

It's Mother's Day on sunday, and Screenjunkies is saluting the top ten movie moms from whom we wouldn't mind receiving a spanking.  Deciding this was difficult.  We pored over days' worth of DVDs…  held focus groups in top secret testing facilities underneath Beverly Hills… and even phoned our Dads to get their opinions.  What resulted is this list – a virtual who's who of cinematic MILFage from the past twenty years.  You may not agree with them as your personal ten, but you can't deny that if any of them were your mother… then you probably have/had a lot of friends ask to spend the night at your place in high school.Send in the MOMS!!! HALLE BERRY as Leticia Musgrove in Monster's Ball

‘STAR TREK’ STARLET: JENNIFER MORRISON

Thursday, May 7 by

Star Trek officially opens tonight and Mother's Day is Sunday.  How appropriate, then, that we introduce you to Jennifer Morrison, who plays Winona Kirk, the mother of Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, in JJ Abrams' film.  There are several different backstories associated with the character, but no matter what reality you buy into as a Trekker, you can't deny Jennifer's practically playing the mother of god. Where you've seen her before: She's probably most familiar as Dr. Allison from Fox's "House" series, but she's also played Jamie in Grind, Amy in Urban Legends: Final Cut, and Chris in a small 2004 film called Mall Cop, whose makers probably hate their lives right now.Random Quote: "My resume for Cameron has me graduating medical school the year I graduated junior high.”See pictures of Jennifer after the jump:

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