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JENNIFER BEALS TRADES LESBIANS FOR LIES

Monday, March 23 by

According to EW's Michael Ausiello, Jennifer Beals – she of The L Word – has joined the cast of Fox's Lie to Me.  I have to admit I'm going to miss all those L Word billboards and print ads with Beals and the girls in suggestive, nude positions, one of which I've shamelessly posted after the jump.    

BLOOD: THE LAST VAMPIRE – FULL TRAILER!

Monday, March 23 by

ShockTilYouDrop has posted the full Japanese trailer for the live action version of Blood: The Last Vampire, complete with super slick camera moves, some questionable CG demons, Michael Bay-style explosions, a heartfland Japanese power ballad, and a gravelly-voiced Japanese announcer punctuating the trailer with a super Japanese-y recap of the title that sounds something like, "Last-oh Blut-oh!"Watch it in semi-glossy Flash after the jump-oh!

Monday TV Preview

Monday, March 23 by

While House takes a breather after the glorious 'killer kitty' episode, 24 is right on point with Bauer on the run from the Feds after being framed for two murders and killing the real culprit, but you know he ain't getting deterred by nothing from finding Jon Voight's Bioweapon! Also, catch some biblical bloodshed on Battles BC, a show that reenacts some excellent warrings from our bloodthirsty ancestors. Another Regis 'I'm a Robot' Philbin somehow appears on 2 Late Night shows tonight as well. Your preview after the break.

Top 10 Recyclable TV Characters

Monday, March 23 by

The average successful TV show has four or five seasons, a total of 80-90 episodes.  At 20 minutes an episode, that’s at least 1600 minutes of entertainment.  And that's not including the really popular ones like The Simpsons (20 years) or ER (15 years).  That’s a lot of airtime to fill…  So, once execs discover a certain kind of show is popular, half a dozen clones will pop up… staple characters are born… then die… then get reincarnated.  The circle of life on Television. Some of these recyclable characters have been around for ages, while others have just made their debut in the last ten years or so.  (And many of the shows below fall into several categories, but for the sake of variety once a show has appeared in a category it won’t appear again.)  So without further ado, Screen Junkies presents… TV’s Top Ten Recyclable Characters.   10. The Drama Queen Doctor

WATCHMEN’S BLACK FREIGHTER DROPS ANCHOR!

Monday, March 23 by

For those of you who watched the Watchmen and said to yourselves, "Self, this movie is missing something, and I think it's a whole other movie that could fit inside this movie," your ship has arrived.  Tales of the Black Freighter, the fictitious comic within Watchmen, has been turned into its own feature-length animated movie, and it's coming to DVD and Blu-Ray April 6th.  Empire posted an exclusive clip that contains some behind-the-scenes goodies and clips from the Freighter flick after the jump. Check it out after the jump.

SCREEN TEST: SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Monday, March 23 by

Jai Ho, everybody!  Or maybe Jai Home Video is more like it! Slumdog Millionaire is coming to DVD & Blu-Ray on Tuesday, March 31st, and Screen Junkies is giving away a free copy.  The beauty part is that you don't have to crawl through a river of human excrement to get one – unlike brave little Jamal had to do just to get Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachchan's autograph.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS POSE

Monday, March 23 by

Today's issue of USA Today includes some brand spanking new (and a couple familiar, but tweaked) photos from Spike Jonze's Where the Wild Things Are.  No answer as to whether or not Denise Richards and Neve Campbell will be making out in this version of Wild Things, but the photos are nothing short of friggin' gorgeous.  You can count me in for this one, no question.  See the rest of the photos – and the rest of the news – after the jump…

Terminator TSCC: Today Is the Day Pt 2

Sunday, March 22 by

Jessie’s mission aboard the USS Jimmy Carter in the year 2027 is compromised, which may have severe consequences if John Connor can’t be warned.  As Jessie in the future comes to learn that perhaps there is more to this war than she knows, Jessie in the present is forced to deal with the consequences of killing Connor’s girlfriend. About The FutureJohn and Derek share a somber moment.  Riley is on both of their minds.Derek breaks the silence: “I’m sorry.  She didn’t deserve what happened.”John agrees but quickly changes the subject.  “How long could you survive with Cameron if she wanted to kill you?” John inquires.“What kind of weapon do I have?” Derek asks, humoring the boy.“Fists, elbows, fingernails, teeth…”“Those aren’t weapons.”“No.”“You know the answer to that, John.  If she wants you dead, you’re dead.”John nods because Derek is speaking the truth.  He tells Derek that he wants to talk to him about the future.

FNL Recap: The Giving Tree

Sunday, March 22 by

Bravo Coach Taylor. Our Panthers won the second playoff game after an eventful week in Dillon, Texas. Many relationship dynamics changed this week, as Julie and Matt were caught in bed together, JD McCoy was caught sneaking out, and Landry finally realized how one-sided his relationship with Tyra was. Lyla’s relationship with Buddy took a turn for the worse as well, after Buddy’s investment of her college fund went sour. It was a great episode of Friday Night Lights, answering some questions while posing a few of its own.

Breaking Bad Recap: Bit By a Dead Bee

Sunday, March 22 by

The promise of brief nudity comes to fruition before the opening credits even role when Walter is seen walking around naked in a grocery store. In shock and in the hospital, Walter’s family is relieved to find their cancer stricken patriarch. Walter then takes to lying, giving a bogus story about where he was and covering up his knowledge of Hank’s bloodletting of Tuco from Episode 2. Meanwhile Hank reveals to his superiors that he was busy searching for Walter when he ran into Tuco. This leads his superiors to question Walter and Jesse’s past as high school student and teacher. At Jesse’s house, Jesse and his friend Badger frantically clear out his entire crystal kitchen into the notorious Winnebago. And poof, Badger’s cousin tows away the notorious camper and Jesse thinks he is clean of that part of his life.

BSG Recap: Daybreak, Part 2

Sunday, March 22 by

I’ve got a theory, which is mine, and I own it, and my theory is this: no TV show should ever go more than 5 or 6 seasons.   Even the greatest shows begin to lose something after that many seasons, and often start tarnishing what made them great in the first place.  Which is a roundabout way of saying that while Battlestar Galactica has turned out to be my current All-Time Favorite TV Show Ever, I’m still very glad that it’s leaving the airwaves.  I’d rather have 4.5 (or whatever) great seasons than 10 seasons, where the last five were shite.  So while I’m sad that Battlestar Galactica is ending, I’m also happy that they’re leaving while firing on all cylinders.  Of course, “firing on all cylinders,” is just my opinion.  Lotsa folks out there think that this Series Finale was either a misfire, or a case of firing on too many cylinders. I’ve got a theory for that, which is mine, and I own it, and my theory is:  there are three main reasons that people think that a particular Series Finale sucks:

STALLONE DROPS 50 CENT FOR TERRY CREWS

Sunday, March 22 by

So, after originally reporting that thespian-rapper Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson would be playing the role of Hale Caesar in Stallone's upcoming star-studded The Expendables, Ain't It Cool News now reports that former San Diego Chargers linebacker and funnyman Terry Crews will be taking on the role. I like this choice, and not just because I know that Terry's unafraid to commit himself to a project, as he's proved by posing nude on a fur rug with only an NBA-endorsed basketball covering his unmentionables.  I also like it because Terry's performance as the President of the United States of America ("President Camacho") in Mike Judge's Idiocracy was the stuff of beauty.  Imagine President Obama channeling Camacho's words:

NEW TERMINATOR: SALVATION PICS!

Saturday, March 21 by

Columbia Pictures just released a new set of promotional photos for Terminator: Salvation.  This is looking more and more like Mad Max meets Cyberdyne, and I like it.  More photos for you to click and make all nice n' big (like the handsome one of the blow'd up T-800 exoskeleton one above) after the jump…

THE SISTERS OF SORORITY ROW

Friday, March 20 by

  The first trailer for Sorority Row, the remake of 1981’s The House on Sorority Row, is up and running…for… its… life.  Check it out, and then check out our photo gallery of all the sorority sisters after the jump.  No pressure or anything. 

FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

Friday, March 20 by

Tom Sizemore was awesome in Paparazzi, but he's even better now. (Film Drunk)Bank Robbers Make It Rain (I-Am-Bored)Steven Seagal Movie Title Flowchart (Cracked)5 Best Signature Horror Movie Weapons (Pajiba)What Facebook will look like in a few years (Holy Taco)Bruce Lee, This Guy Ain't (Gorilla Mask)Cruce Campbell Double Feature on Anchor Bay (Dread Central)MMA's Greatest Upsets (Cage Potato)Kenny Powers Training Video (Gorilla Mask)Transporter 3 DVD Review = Explosive (Filmofila)Ratner Wants to Be on the Comic Book Movie A-List (ScreenRant)Poster for Chan Wook Park's Thirst banned (Variety)Cool Piece called Newspapers & Thinking the Unthinkable (Shirky)

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