LATEST HEADLINES

Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)

Tuesday, May 26 by

Director: Chris NahonCast: Gianna Jun, Allison Miller, Liam CunninghamSynopsis: Live-action adaptation of the original Japanise anime, in which a vampire named Saya, who is part of covert government agency that hunts and destroys demons in a post-WWII Japan, is inserted in a military school to discover which one of her classmates is a demon is disguise.Genre: Fantasy/Horror

WHO ARE YA? SOCCER FILMS’ STARTING 11

Tuesday, May 26 by

We won’t pretend that Wednesday’s UEFA Champions’ League Final between Manchester United and Barcelona will be as big as the Super Bowl here in the U.S.  But in Europe, it's better than the Super Bowl.  With its popularity ever-increasing, more and more people are watching the Champions League, if for no other reason than to tide themselves over until the next World Cup (or, for my money, the 2012 Euros).With that in mind, we present to you, Cinema’s Starting 11, whom we think could hold their own against any club team Europe can muster:

SOUTHLAND RECAP: “DERAILED”

Tuesday, May 26 by

A dead gangster in a discarded chest is the result of several failed attempts on a witness’s life.  Dewey flips his lid… and a squad car.  Adams holds down the fort while witness- seeking bullets rain through her windows. "Derailed"The cops find a large chest on a hill overlooking LA.  Inside the chest is a body with tattoos all over it.  The discovery is sure to derail any holiday plans the cops had…  

SOUTHLAND RECAP: “DERAILED”

Tuesday, May 26 by

A dead gangster in a discarded chest is the result of several failed attempts on a witness’s life.  Dewey flips his lid… and a squad car.  Adams holds down the fort while witness- seeking bullets rain through her windows. "Derailed"The cops find a large chest on a hill overlooking LA.  Inside the chest is a body with tattoos all over it.  The discovery is sure to derail any holiday plans the cops had…

JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME STARS IN “KARATE”

Tuesday, May 26 by

Here we have the poster for Jean Claude Van Damme's new release Karate. Details about the plot are currently murky. It's either about professional quilting or a spiritual journey that brings a family closer together. Sounds boring. I really wish that there were some kind of combat involved. (Movie Hole)More morning headlines…Big-screen Buffy to slay vamps without Joss Whedon? (Reuters)Avatar powersuit? (/Film)Steve Coogan planning an Alan Partridge film. (First Showing)Video of Jimmy Kimmel's Upfronts Comedy Jam. (Pajiba)Twitter: The TV Series. (TV Squad)

NEW WEBSITE HELPS SCHEDULE YOUR PEE BREAKS

Monday, May 25 by

The new website RunPee.Com has arrived and it's going to totally change theater-going as we know it. Imagine that you're watching Transformers 2 and your teeth are floating. You don't want to break away to the facility because you don't want to miss any blurry, confusing-to-look-at robot fights or any of Megan Fox's screentime. Those days are gone, friend. Thanks to RunPee, you now know the exact moment within a film that it is safe to excuse yourself and awkwardly step on all the toes in your row. We're one step closer to utopia. The future begins.On this Memorial Day, take a moment to remember those summer blockbusters that sucked balls. (Pajiba) Joe Dante gives up juicy Gremlins dirt. (Dread Central)New Land Of The Lost Clip Online. (MTV) Fan-made LEGO movie posters are pretty rad. (Specky Boy) Lyndsy Fonseca jumps in Hot Tub. (Empire) 

‘THE WHITE RIBBON’ WINS PALME D’OR AT CANNES

Sunday, May 24 by

White Ribbon – Scene 1 – Watch more Movie Trailers Well, the 2009 Festival de Cannes wrapped up, and the winner of the prestigious Palme d'Or was not, in fact, Lars von Trier's Willem Dafoe's Bare Ass and Mutilated Balls.  Nay, the honor went to Michael Haneke's The White Ribbon (Das weiße Band), a film about the strange happenings in 1913 at a German school dealing with ritual punishment. Haneke also directed the torture film, Funny Games.  By our estimates, this makes him the German Judd Apatow. Check out the other clip from the film – conveniently translated into English for those of us who don't sprechen ze Deutsch, if you know what I mean.  And if you do, you sprechen ze Deutsch, so just make sure your speakers are on.

Michael Ian Black Farts Like a Butterfly, Stings Like the Sharp Comickster He Is

Sunday, May 24 by

This clip has been farting around on for a little while now, but we thought we'd share it with you on this Memorial Day weekend, because for us, Memorial Day is not only about remembering our troops; it's also about commiting great flatulence scenes to memory.  This is one of those scenes. It's a clip from "Michael and Michael Have Issues," a new half-hour comedy series that airs in July, appropriately enough, on Comedy Central. The show stars Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, who most recently worked on Comedy Central's (sadly) short-lived "Stella" series alongside fellow ex-"The State" member David Wain, who's now off directing important "issue" films for big Hollywood studios, like Role Models.  As much as we're fans of Mr. Wain, we think Michael and Michael will be just fine without the f&*king turncoat.

MICHAEL & MICHAEL HAVE ISSUES

Sunday, May 24 by

Cast: Michael Showalter, Michael Ian Black, Other SAG and SAG-eligible Actors (But who cares, really?)Synopsis: "Probably going to be the best show on Comedy Central since that episode of 'Crank Yankers' where the puppets started humping the clock radio." – Michael Ian BlackNetwork: Read above, Sir Skims-a-Lot

NEW CLIPS FROM ‘THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS’

Sunday, May 24 by

This morning, Slashfilm's Brendon Connelly posted three clips from Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, which just screened at Cannes and wowed the critics, many of whom framed their reviews around this being Heath Ledger's final film.  The first clip features the recently departed actor donning a mask that gives me the creeps/flashbacks to Eyes Wide Shut and Amadeus, and wooing a small crowd of curious bystanders.  I couldn't help but notice a few tiny Joker-like nuances in the way Ledger moves in this scene.  Still hadn't shaken the clown when he shot this, I suppose. The other clips, which you can see after the jump, are a little more .  One features Christopher Plummer as the titular character, and a lot of cool SFX that's a little LOTR, a little Harry Potter, and a lot Gilliam.  The other features actress Lily Cole doing her best Lolita while Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer drives a horse-drawn carriage.  Not as adorable as one would think.  This is Gilliam, after all.  He could make the Muppet Babies off-putting.

THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS

Sunday, May 24 by

Director: Terry GilliamCast: Johnny Depp, Heath Ledger, Jude Law, Colin Farrell, Christopher Plummer, Lily Cole Synopsis: A fantastical morality tale, set in the present day, telling the story of Dr Parnassus and his extraordinary 'Imaginarium', a travelling show where members of the audience get an irresistible opportunity to choose between light and joy or darkness and gloom.

YOUR WEEKEND LINKS

Friday, May 22 by

           Caught Masturbating!        Movies for Every Holiday    Spank Bank: Sasha Grey           John August Writes a Book  Shia Labeouf Directs Now    Common is… Dow Jones!           Cyberdyne Techie Talk          Best of new Sci-Fi         If Celebs Switched Genders              Coolest Airport Ever          Drunk Indy 500 Moments        Better than a Girlfriend

‘SURROGATES’ TRAILER

Friday, May 22 by

‘SURROGATES’ TRAILER W/ BRUCE WILLIS, VING RHAMES & RADHA MITCHELL

Friday, May 22 by

Bruce Willis is back, bald and with a full head of hair! How is that possible, you ask? Well it’s easy when you’re playing a bald man plugged into a machine that allows you to control your thick haired carbon copy.  The trailer for the new sci-fi/action thriller Surrogates hit the 'nets today and it looks like a doozy of a concept.  Set in a futuristic world where humans live in isolation and interact through surrogate robots, a cop (Willis) is forced to leave his home for the first time in years in order to investigate the murders of others’ surrogates.  The film comes from director Jonathan Mostow, who also directed Terminator 3, U-571, and Breakdown starring Kurt Russell (awesome!).  Take a look at the trailer after the jump, let us know what you think – like whether or not you like Ving Rhames in dreadlocks.

SURROGATES

Friday, May 22 by

Director: Jonathan MostowCast: Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Radha Mitchell, Rosamund Pike, Boris KodjoeSynopsis: Set in a futuristic world where humans live in isolation and interact through surrogate robots, a cop (Willis) is forced to leave his home for the first time in years in order to investigate the murders of others’ surrogates.Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy 

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