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Southland Recap: Unknown Trouble

Friday, April 10 by

Southland kicks off it's series premiere by informing the viewer that there are only 9,800 police officers patrolling our streets here in LA.  The rest of the episode is spent proving that if Los Angeles is indeed the City of Angels, then the LAPD are the only ones we've got. Unknown Trouble It's the end of Sherman's first day on the job.  Police lights bathe the scene in waves of red and blue, exposing a bullet torn body slumped on the ground in a widening pool of blood.  Not too far away, a wounded officer is being hauled off by the paramedics on a stretcher, and a mob of girls is crying behind them.  Sherman steps up to the body on the ground and drops to his haunches.  The look on his face can mean anything; indifference, sorrow, regret, confusion… perhaps he needs to vomit.  He squats there for a moment before a voice calls out, "You ok, son?"

Southland

Friday, April 10 by

From Emmy Award winners John Wells, Ann Biderman and Chris Chulack comes a raw and authentic look at a police unit in Los Angeles. From the beaches of Malibu to the streets of East Los Angeles, "Southland" is a fast-moving drama that will take viewers inside the lives of cops, criminals, victims and their families.Airs: Thursdays 10/9cNetwork: NBC

“IT’S KARATE KID ON A ______ !!!”

Friday, April 10 by

In 1984, a seminal film in my life (and many others of my generation) was released. It was a little flick about an underdog wiener kid from New Jersey with a major chip on his shoulder who wanted to prove the the world that he could kick his own height. So with help from Arnold from Happy Days, the wiener kid finds his way to Karate glory – which means he got some plastic trophy from the local Prize Emporium Dealership. But, for us kids, Karate Kid wasn't about the karate, per se. We didn't all want to grow up and be ninjas (although that would explain the brief success of Michael Dudikoff), we just wanted to be able to kick a douchebag in the face. That and we figured if Ralph Macchio could score Elisabeth Shue, heck, surely we could.

SISSY BABY JERK MORNING NEWS

Friday, April 10 by

 South Park skewered Kanye West this week by portraying him as an arrogant, angry, slow on the uptake, spoiled beeyach. Kanye has since responded on his official blog by saying, "SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. NOT AS FUNNY AS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I HAD WROTE IT THOUGH. AND THE ANIMATION WASN'T AS DOPE AS I WOULD DO IT. I WEAR WOOL SCARVES IN THE SUMMER AND UNCOMFORTABLE SHOES. I EXUDE GREATNESS. I INVENTED THE SNUGGIE."  The episode marks the first time since Mr. Hankey that the show has animated a singing piece of sh*t. (KANYE WEST BLOG) Observe and Report or Paul Blart: Date Rapist? (Cinematical)Has FOX foreclosed on Dollhouse? (io9)   VENOM MOVIE FTW!!! (I was being sarcastic.) (Latino Review)  Spongebob Square Pants shakes ass, ruffles feathers. (CCFC)   The Simpsons immortalized on junk mail. (TV Squad)

TRAILER FOR SAM ROCKWELL IN “MOON”

Thursday, April 9 by

IGN posted the new trailer for Moon, starring the kickass Sam Rockwell and directed by Duncan Jones, the son of David Bowie, who knows a thing or two about space travel, and has apparently bestowed his passion upon Ziggy Stardust Jr. The trailer explains all you need to know, but this looks like it has some definite ties to 2001 and especially the iconic HAL.  Only this time, HAL is sort of a talking emoticon.  Check out the trailer after the jump, as well as another clip courtesy of io9.  Just don't jump too hard because of the whole gravity thing.  Somewhere… in space… a physics teacher is laughing… right… now.

Parks and Recreation Recap: Pilot

Thursday, April 9 by

The show opens with our star Amy Poehler awkwardly interviewing a young girl about the exact level of fun she is experiencing at the moment in a public park (“would you say you’re having a moderate amount of fun and somewhat enjoying yourself?”), at which point she is interrupted to roust a homeless from the slide by forcing him out with a broom. And thusly we are introduced to the relentlessly enthusiastic Leslie Knope, a woman who’s clueless-ness is rivaled only by her indefatigable love for her job.She has a definite Michael Scott-esque quality to her, but dialed back about 15% on the stupidity, incompetence, awkwardness, basically everything that makes him such an insufferable doofus. Instead, she comes off as a more relatable, if still pitiable, character. Someone we come to love to cringe at. And cringe we do, as she makes an ass of herself for 22 extremely pleasant minutes, setting up what will hopefully be a good series, judging from the first installment.

TRON 2 WILL BE THE MOST EXPENSIVE MOVIE EVER MADE

Thursday, April 9 by

TRON 2 or TR2N could be relabed TR$N after the budget is soaring upwards of $300 million.  (FilmDrunk)50 Greatest Boob products of all time (Manofest)New Public Enemies Trailer (Pajiba)10 Humorous Left 4 Dead Vids (Unreality)Manda Rae Is Nauuughtty (GorillaMask)PETA's Side Of The 'Pet Shop Boys' (IAmBored)5 New Ways To Mock Everything (Cracked)Brand New Anaconda 4 Trailer (DreadCentral)The 10 Most Amazing Monologues In War Movies (Unreality)VT Cheerleader Controversy (BustedCoverage)How To Deal With Shitting Your Pants (Holytaco)Hotties In The Wild! (Uncoached)Jim Jarmusch Talks Cinema (ThePlayList)

Thursday TV Preview

Thursday, April 9 by

Turn on the TV & tune it to NBC, microwave up some popcorn, then chuck your remote control out the window and give those button pushing fingers a much needed rest. NBC has 3 hours of new shows and series premieres that mean no complicated channel switching. 2 new episodes of The Office, the series premiere of Amy Poehler's new comedy Parks and Recreation, new 30 Rock, and the series premiere of Southland, a police drama by the creators of ER. Your preview after the break. 

TURN YOURSELF INTO A STAR TREK ALIEN OR TERMINATOR

Thursday, April 9 by

So, Warner Bros. and Paramount simultaneously released mini-sites for their May 2009 flicks, and they're kinda fun if you have time to fart around on a movie site during the day.  Trekyourself.com lets you create photos of yourself as a Star Trek character, like a Romulan, Vulcan or Red Shirt (try the latter at your own risk. Eh hum.  Eh heh hum).  On TerminateYourself.com, you can add battle damage to any of your photos, revealing your inner T-800 endoskeleton.  I originally wanted to title this post something like, "You Betta Trek Yo' Self," but I realize that I don't have enough street cred to do so.  Nor is this 1994.  Oh and while we're combining movies in single posts, check out a huge spoiler from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen after the jump! 

3 NEW “WOLVERINE” SPOTS WITH NEW FOOTAGE

Thursday, April 9 by

Three new TV spots for X-Men Origins: Wolverine have SNIKT'D their way online today.  Each one has something we haven't seen before, including glimpses of Blob in action, and Ryan Reynolds showing off more of what his maskless Deadpool can do.  Here's one spot:X-Men Origins: Wolverine TV Spot #10 – Watch more Funny VideosYou'll find the other two hiding after the jump. 

RALPH FIENNES AND LIAM NEESON ARE GODS!!!

Thursday, April 9 by

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes will play warring gods in Warner Bros. and Legendary's Clash of the Titans, the Greek-god epic directed by Louis Leterrier.  "Neeson is playing Zeus, the wise yet sometimes ill-tempered king of the gods and father of Perseus (Sam Worthington). Fiennes will play Hades, ruler of the underworld who aims to overtake Zeus and rule over all. Fiennes' deal is in still in negotiations." And high school classical civilization teachers all breathe a collective sigh of relief, as their students will finally have another filmic representation of Zeus aside from this one:

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Thursday, April 9 by

Director: Louis Leterrier Cast: Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson, Gemma Arterton, Sam Worthington, Alexa Davalos, Mads Mikkelsen Synopsis:

TRAILER FOR MIKE JUDGE’S “EXTRACT”

Thursday, April 9 by

The trailer for Mike Judge's new film, Extract, has started springing up all over the 'nets today.  I enjoyed his last effort, Idiocracy, but it was an acquired taste.  My take was that a visual FX-heavy movie can sometimes take away from the funny, no matter how much funny is there.  In any case, it looks like Judge is back to his more pedestrian, Office Space stomping grounds with this new movie, which stars Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, a shaggy Ben Affleck, and a slow-mo close-up of Kristen Wiig's sweatpants.  Check it out after the jump, and then give your verdict on Judge in the comments section.

Extract

Thursday, April 9 by

Director: Mike JudgeCast: Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig, J.K. SimmonsSynopsis: Extract follows the personal and professional problems endured by the owner  of a flower-extract plant (Bateman), including a wife who won't sleep with him (Wiig), a new temp (Kunis) and Ben Affleck as a friendly neighborhood bartender who doles out sage advice.

The Return Of Haim Morning News

Thursday, April 9 by

Corey Haim apparently has a role in Crank: High Voltage. In the flick Haim sports a long, blonde mullet and tribal tattoos. He essentially looks like a sketchier Dog the Bounty Hunter. In other words, considering this is Corey Haim we're talking about here, he looks good. It is reported that Haim (who once tried to sell his teeth on eBay) was disappointed to learn he would not be paid in actual crank. (Cinema Blend)   In other mullet news, Eastbound and Down will return for a second season. (TV Week) How's Your News? will not sadly. (HYN Facebook) Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes cast in Clash of the Titans; not the same guy after all. (/film) Saddam Hussein forced to view South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut while imprisoned. No word on whether he was shown Hot Shots! or not. (Telegraph UK) John Favreau spells like a jurk. (NY Mag) Premiere has a list of 77 DVDs worth rebuying on Blu-Ray; Shark Attack 3: Megalodon snubbed again.  (Premiere)  

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