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MYSTERY TEAM SHORT: THE CASE OF THE HAUNTED HOTEL

Monday, August 10 by

MYSTERY TEAM Haunted Hotel Short – Watch more Funny Videos DERRICK COMEDY's new film MYSTERY TEAM opens nationwide in October, here's a new mini adventure to hold you over right now.  If you like to laugh at naive youngsters being put in awkward, potentially life-shattering situations (like we do), then you'll love "The Case of the Haunted Hotel," which debuted online today.  It's got alcoholic dads, political scandals, sex with minors, hush money and a floor made entirely of lava.  What more could you want?  Laughs? Fine.  Take them. Coinciding with the release of the short is the announcement of early screenings of the film in select cities, the schedule for which you can get after the jump.  Before you do, be sure to check out these mystery links: Shonda Lee Is Quite Hot (Gorillamask) If State Flags Were Honest (Holytaco) Joaquin Phoenix Is Still Acting Crazy (Filmdrunk) The Funniest Newspaper Headlines Of All Time (Manofest) Star Wars Golf Club Covers For Geeky Golfers (Walyou) Harmony Korine Makes Yet Another Really Weird Movie (Pajiba) The 5 Circles Of Baffling Web Comic Hell (Cracked) Kid Solves Rubik's Cube And Plays Guitar Hero On Expert (Coedmagazine) Billy Mays' Legacy Tainted By Cocaine Use (Celebjihad) How To Be A Real American Hero (Mademan) Fedor Disses Brock Lesnar And More! (Cagepotato) Classic Clips From Every Movie John Hughes Directed (Unreality) Which Dystopian Film Is Most Likely To Come True? (Asylum) Michigan QB Moonlights As A Coke Dealer (Bustedcoverage) A Collection Of Car Demotivational Posters (Uncoached) The 10x Bacon Turkey Melt from Subway Deserves Its Own Film (Regretfulmorning) The Booze Death Calculator (Bachelorguy) Katherine Heigel Gets Called Out On Her Comments About Hard Work (Moondogsports) Freak Eats Thousands Of Snakes (Nothingtoxic) The Legend Of Neil Episode 8: Neil Goes For Broke (Atomfilms) Frank Langella Joins Wall Street (Filmofilia)

SPREAD

Monday, August 10 by

Director: David MackenzieCast: Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche, Margarita Levieva, Sonia Rockwell, Maria Conchita Alonso, Shane Brolly

WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: MONDAY, AUGUST 10th, 2009

Monday, August 10 by

The Jonas Brothers, Steve Harvey, Paul Giamatti and the return of Sgt. Slaughter. Not only are they all on TV tonight but they were also all in my dream last night. The recurring one where I lead a rag-tag football team to victory in the All-City Championship. Go Warthogs!CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘THE GOODS’ ACTRESS JORDANA SPIRO

Monday, August 10 by

I'll get the obvious corny statement out of the way:  The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard actress Jordana Spiro does, in fact, have "The Goods."  Har.  She plays Ivy Selleck, love interest to Jeremy Piven's Don Ready and fiancée to Ed Helms's Paxton Harding in the film.  The movie looks racy, but expect Spiro to add a layer of class and beauty to the film (as far as we can tell, they gave all the dildo jokes to Will Ferrell)  Outside of the new flick, she's been keeping busy playing every man's dream girl: the tom boy sports writer PJ on the TBS series "My Boys."  Between movies about failing used car lots and TV shows about sports, it's safe to say Jordana Spiro should be the object of every American man's affection.A word from Jordana: "Basically my homework for the show was to learn how to play poker, watch sports and drink beer. It was really difficult."We're not exactly sure how she got a job that involved performing things that men do for fun, but we're guessing it had something to do with her looks.  We're also a little jealous of her.  Check out more hot photos of Jordana after the jump!

9 NUDE SCENES TO AVOID ON FILM

Monday, August 10 by

THIS IS A WARNING.  If you've come to this page with the intention of being aroused you should turn back now.  You saw the word "NUDE" and thought everything was going to be hunky-dory, but you are sorely mistaken.  There are no perky breasts or tight rumps to be found here, my friends.  We're about to showcase a few outstanding nude scenes that won't leave you standing at attention.  Sometimes they're for a laugh, sometimes they're for dramatic effect, but all of them are guaranteed to make you…uncomfortable.  So here's your heads up, Screen Junkies.  If you're watching any of these films below and gross, grey anatomy pops onto screen, don't say we didn't warn you. Kathy Bates in About Schmidt

THIS THURSDAY!! ‘DISTRICT 9′ MIDNIGHT SCREENINGS!!!

Monday, August 10 by

 Anticipation is in the air as nerd boners stiffen and engorge across the country. The eagerly-awaited District 9 opens THIS THURSDAY AT MIDNIGHT and that means that YOU can be one of the first to see it. According to early buzz and our review, the movie is stellar. You should definitely stay up late to catch what looks to be one of this summer's best. I'd stay up to watch it but I've got to deliver my papers in the morning. It's my sworn duty and I intend to honor it. (District 9) Focus your eyeballs on these morning links… Some info about The Thing prequel. (/Film) Paul Giamatti replaces Sean Penn in The Three Stooges. (Empire)  Sum Dood cast as Green Hornet's Kato. (Cinematical) Salma Hayek totally unshaven. (Dread Central) Doug Liman is the new Hero of the Hudson. (Cinema Blend) Awesome scenes from G.I. Joe cartoon box set. (io9) So happy that Tuco made this list. (Pajiba)

‘I LOVE YOU, MAN’ RED-BAND CLIP: PAUL RUDD PUKES ON JON FAVREAU

Saturday, August 8 by

‘I LOVE YOU, MAN’ EXCLUSIVE DVD CLIP: BEHIND THE VOMIT

Saturday, August 8 by

I LOVE YOU, MAN – Behind the Vomit – Watch more Funny VideosEarlier this year, we put together a list of classic vomit scenes from film, prompted by the now infamous scene of Paul Rudd spackling his innards all over Jon Favreau.  The clip's taken its place in the pantheon of puke of film, and we've now probably watched the scene over a dozen times, because it's just so damn convincing.   And we were never quite sure just how the director John Hamburg pulled it off so convincingly… until now.The exclusive DVD clip – which appears on the upcoming I LOVE YOU, MAN DVD & Blu-Ray – above gives us an all-access glimpse behind the vomit.  The amount of work that went into making this happen sort of blew our minds.  It's like watching Peter Jackson constructing an FX shot from LORD OF THE RINGS, only instead of Elijah Wood waxing poetic about boysenberries with Sir Ian McKellan or whatever they talked about, you have ANCHORMAN's Brian Fantana projectile vomiting Campbell's Chunky Minestrone all over the director of the IRON MAN movies.  I LOVE YOU, MAN starring Paul Rudd, Jason Segel and Rashida Jones arrives on DVD & Blu-Ray Tuesday, August 11th, 2009.

IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS INTERNATIONAL TRAILER

Friday, August 7 by

Above is the first official trailer for cursed-but-dogged director Terry Gilliam's THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS.  That poor ex-Python man just can't seem to make a movie without something going horribly wrong.  Before it was natural disasters shutting down THE MAN WHO KILLED DON QUIXOTE (check out the documentary LOST IN LA MANCHA to see what I mean) and this time is was the tragic death of the lead actor (Heath Ledger).  But like Dr. Parnassus, Gilliam wouldn't let mortality stop him, and not only kept Ledger in the film, but also added three others to round out the part of "Tony."  You can see Ledger plus Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell all in the clip above, which was said to have made Frank Caliendo's mimicry boner explode. Okay, Junkies, here are your weekend links… If GI Joe Worked In Your Office (Holytaco) Mafia Hitman Says No To Channing Tatum (Filmdrunk) Fat People Breaking Things With Their Fatness (Manofest) Pillow With A Light In It Doesn't Seem Conducive To Sleeping (Walyou) Nathan Fillion Endorses Ryan Reynolds As Green Lantern (Pajiba) The Truth Behind "Real Monsters" That Fooled The Internet (Cracked) 10 Batsh*t Crazy Paula Abdul Replacements (Coedmagazine) How To Start Your Own Religion (Mademan) Edith Labelle Leaves UFC In Suspicious Fashion (Cagepotato) 10 Realistic Wonder Woman Candidates (Unreality) Phobias For The 21st Century (Asylum) Lamont Jordan On Las Vegas Hitlist (Bustedcoverage) 10 Amazing Time Lapse Videos (Uncoached) Extreme Water Sliding Should Be A Sport (Regretfulmorning) Chipotle-Flavored Beer? (Bachelorguy) Jessica Simpson Is In Full Meltdown Mode (Moondogsports) Old Man Gets Tazered At The Ball Game (Nothingtoxic) A Tribute To The 80s In Memory Of John Hughes (Atomfilms) Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, And Steve Martin In Romcom Together (Filmofilia)

WILL FERRELL DIES WHILE SKYDIVING WITH DILDOS

Friday, August 7 by

Death from Above…With Dildos – Watch more Funny VideosIn this new clip from THE GOODS: LIVE HARD, SELL HARD, car salesman extraordinaire Don Ready (Jeremy Piven) recounts the accidental death of his best friend McDermott to his lady friend, Ivy Selleck (Jordana Spiro).  Throw in the fact that McDermott is played by Will Ferrell, and that his death involves skydiving and a backpack full of dildos, anal beads and lube, and you've got comedy.  My idea of comedy usually only gets as far as lube (and a mirror), so this is pretty advanced stuff in my book.THE GOODS: LIVE HARD, SELL HARD opens Friday, August 14th.

WHAT’S ON TV THIS WEEKEND: FRIDAY AUGUST 7th – SUNDAY AUGUST 9th

Friday, August 7 by

Terrorism, theft, abominations of nature, and old people. This weekend's TV preview asks, Who would you rather go on a romantic ski trip with? Giant spiders or Joan Rivers??CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘JULIE AND JULIA’ ACTRESS VANESSA FERLITO

Friday, August 7 by

It's pretty much a certainty that Julie & Julia will lack any semblance of edge or bad-assery.  In spite of the fact that Julia Child was a spy before she was a cook, we think feel-good writer/director Nora Ephron chose to ignore that (here's hoping, however, that Paul Greengrass will direct a prequel to this movie focusing on her days as an impulsive secret agent).  The principal actresses Meryl Streep and Amy Adams don't really scream "gritty" either.  So, all hope would be lost for any sultriness in the film opening today, save for Vanessa Ferlito.  The Brooklyn-born beauty is most recently known for delivering a sexy lap dance to Kurt Russel in the extended version of Death Proof.  You may also remember her from the Tommy Lee Jones' film Man of the House (okay, we only remember the "This is my happy faaace!" line from that movie too).A word from Vanessa: "Directors look at me and think, Brooklyn, rough and tough. But I can also hang out with Helen Mirren." To be fair, Helen Mirren can hang in Brooklyn too.  Let's not forget that she's credited for the clapping at the beginning of the KRS-One song "MC's Act Like They Don't Know" But that's besides the point; check out more hot photos of Vanessa after the jump!

A HISTORY OF G.I. JOE WAR CRIMES

Friday, August 7 by

By Seymour Hersh, Investigative Journalist

Julie and Julia

Friday, August 7 by

Title: Julie And Julia Director: Nora Ephron Cast: Amy Adams, Meryl Streep Synopsis: The movie also follows Julia and Paul Child through Julia Child's memoir, MY LIFE IN FRANCE, which she wrote with her grand nephew Alex Prud'homme. Genre: Comedy Release Date: August 7, 2009

JOHN HUGHES HAS DIED

Friday, August 7 by

The director responsible for a string of classics passed away yesterday. John Hughes reportedly suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting family in Manhattan. He was 59. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, and Sixteen Candles (amongst others) will always be held in high regard around here. Screen Junkies would like to pass on our condolescences to the family and friends of Mr. Hughes. (AP)Don't you forget about these morning links…Where the Where The Wild Things Are second trailer is. (First Showing)Bryan Singer reteams with Syfy. (Latino Review)Fingers crossed! Louis C.K. may have a new show. (Variety)Galifianakis not too eager about Hangover 2. (IGN)Dethklok coming to a city near you. (TV Squad)

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