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FIRST LOOK: FOUR CLIPS FROM ‘KICK-ASS’

Monday, August 3 by

CLIPS REMOVED BY REQUEST OF LIONSGATE Well, seems like someone managed to sneak a camera into Hall H at Comic-con and snag all the clips from Matthew Vaughn and Mark Millar's KICK-ASS presentation.  But something tells me the filmmakers of this as-yet-unsold flick aren't gonna mind too much.  Not only do they need more hype, but the above clip – and the rest, which you can see after the jump – are about as high quality as the bootleg DVDs my mom used to get me from Shanghai.  So you're not gonna learn too much.  To give you some perspective, the knock-offs looked like the DP replaced the camera lens with an empty Vaseline jar, and the subtitles read as if written by a schizophrenic (case in point: the Green Goblin in SPIDER-MAN was referred to as the "Gublin" and the "Green Lady.") But hey, I still got the gist, and you will too with these promising – I think – first looks. [ via Twitch] Cup your ears to your speakers and squint through the other three clips after the jump (the kind that doesn't end in death through a car roof).  But before you do, enjoy these kick-ass links: Destiny Daniels Has An Interesting Array Of Almost No Clothing (Gorillamask) What Your Employee Badge Really Says About You (Holytaco) Michel Gondry Draws A Tranny For Filmdrunk (Filmdrunk) 10 Embarassing Moments Of White People Dancing (Manofest) Turn Your Shower Into A Rave With LED Shower Lights (Walyou) A Quiz On The Most Obscure Actors Of Recent Times (Pajiba) 7 Terrifying Giant Versions Of Disgusting Creatures (Cracked) A Scandalous Sex Tape From The Video Game World (Sickpigs) Trampolines+Basketball Hoops=Awesome (Coedmagazine) Jon Minus Kate Plus Skank (Celebjihad) 7 Novel Ideas For Theme Parties (Mademan) Fedor Signs With Strikeforce (Cagepotato) 15 Examples Of What People Really Think About TV Shows (Unreality) Should NFL Teams Have Jersey Ads? (Asylum) Matt Stafford's Girlfriend Got Implants? (Bustedcoverage) 15 Really Weird Hotel Rooms (Uncoached) Plus-Sized Fashion Failures (Regretfulmorning) Mad Men Yourself (Bachelorguy) Daily Kos Writer Thinks Forbes Disliked Athlete List Is Racist (Moondogsports) Two-Headed Calf Looks Like Something Out Of Guillermo Del Toro's Nighmare Journal (Nothingtoxic)

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: MONDAY, AUGUST 3rd 2009

Monday, August 3 by

The pursuit of a dream, the pursuit of kidnappers, the pursuit of revenge, the pursuit for manhood, and the pursuit for a cure. Tonight's television preview has got some tired-ass legs.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA’ ACTRESS KAROLINA KURKOVA

Monday, August 3 by

Unlike Michael Bay, who hires models for every non-matronly female part in his films, Stephen Somers only hires models to play models in his upcoming G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra.  The drop-dead gorgeous Karolina Kurkova will be playing the aptly nicknamed "Cover Girl," a former professional model who decided that runways and eating disorders were boring, and that blowing sh*t up in the army would be much more au courant.  A word from Karolina: "Mother Nature made me the way I am, and I should be happy."Most men would high five Mother Nature's palms red for creating Karolina. Check out the photos of Karolina after the jump and turn your palms red! From all the clapping, of course. 

REVIEW: (500) DAYS OF SUMMER

Monday, August 3 by

It’s been several days now, and I can’t quite get this movie out of my head.  (500) DAYS OF SUMMER is one of those rare films that actually speaks to…

SPIELBERG TO REMAKE “HARVEY”

Monday, August 3 by

Although his name has been attached to a slew of projects recently, Steven Spielberg has set his sights on Harvey as his next to direct. James Stewart starred in the original as a man who's best friend is a six-foot tall invisible rabbit. No word yet on casting or the unnecessary special effects that will bastardize this remake but let's see, who in Hollywood could pull off a protagonist who sees things that may or may not be there? Joaquin Pheonix, put down your microphone and dookie gold ropes. Steven Spielberg needs you. (The Playlist) Check out these other morning links… Dispute settled. Futurama cast returns. (/Film) Tom Arnold is full of sh*t. (MTV) What Michael Moore really wants to do is direct. (First Showing) Mary-Ann from True Blood. What up with her? (TV Squad) Rob Marshall is going to make Pirates 4 faaabbbbuuullllooouuussss! (Empire)

THE COEN BROTHERS ARE BACK WITH THE MOST JEWISH MOVIE OF THE YEAR

Friday, July 31 by

  A Serious Man (2009) – Official Trailer #1 [HD] – Watch more Funny VideosJoel and Ethan Coen are back with A Serious Man. The film centers on a Jewish professor who seeks stability in his unraveling life. Known for their creative casting choices, the Coen Brothers have populated this cast with mostly unknowns. Apart from Adam Arkin and Richard Kind, I'm not really familiar with the cast (though the secretary did sound like Tony Todd.) If history serves I'm sure that this will be a great launching pad for the lead actor Michael Stuhlbarg. Why, that's practically a household name already. Just rolls off the tongue. Stretch it out, Stuuuhhhhhllllllbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggg….Find your place in life via these links…Alyssa Frangedakis Is Very Attractive (Gorillamask) 8 Things That Will Definitely Happen At Summercamp (Holytaco) Ridley Scott To Direct Alien Prequel (Filmdrunk) Drunks And Live Newscasts Mixed Together=Hilarious (Manofest) Pop Tart iPhone Sleeve Makes Your Phone Delicious (Walyou) A Review Of Televised Golf (Pajiba) The 6 Most Badass Murder Weapons In The Animal Kingdom (Cracked) Stephen Colbert Circa 1995 (Coedmagazine) Booty-Off: J-Lo Vs. Kim Kardashian (Celebjihad) 8 Things You Didn't Know You Could Fry (Mademan) Jerry Millen Spouts Off Terrible Analogies (Cagepotato) 7 Notable Celebrity Comebacks (Unreality) Who Should Replace Megan Fox On A Day Without Megan Fox? (Asylum) Ex-HS Teacher Did Not Have Sex With Football Star (Bustedcoverage) The 10 Best Seinfeld Characters Who You Never Saw (Uncoached) Obama Hosts A Beer Summit (Regretfulmorning) Furniture Made From Old Barrels Of Whisky: Manliest Thing Ever? (Bachelorguy) Kanye Declares Himself New King Of Pop, Acts Like Douche (Moondogsports) Jerk Roommate Launches Tomato Into Man's Testicles (Nothingtoxic) A Reminder To Never Mix Pop Rocks And Soda (Atomfilms) Banderas And Neeson Square Off In The Other Man (Filmofilia)

WHAT’S ON THIS WEEKEND? JULY 31st – AUGUST 2nd

Friday, July 31 by

Gang violence, angry Japanese people, a mentally unstable comedian, pugilism, alternative jams, and Dawson. This weekend's television preview is as schizo as Dave Chappelle.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC

‘THIRST’ ACTRESS OK-VIN KIM

Friday, July 31 by

 I'm as sick of the vampire craze as you (meaning to say I'm sick of Twilight and True Blood), but the new film from the badass Chan-wook Park, Thirst, intrigues the crap out of me.  The film centers around a failed experiment that turns a devoted priest into a vampire, who has to battle to retain his humanity.  Further confusing his situation is the beautiful Ok-vin Kim, who plays a woman in dire need of the priest's help.  So now the priest has vampire problems and a beautiful woman challenging his whole celibacy deal.  Outside of the flick, Kim is a young actress and model with a small list of credits so far.  She also happens to know kung fu, which is always pretty awesome.A word from Ok-vin Kim: "I am not attracted to easy and simple roles… I only feel alive when I am challenged with difficult roles that push me to improve my acting skills"Well, we're attracted to the fact that you aren't attracted to easy and simple roles.  Check out more hot photos of Ok-vin Kim after the jump!

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‘ROGER EBERT’ REVIEWS A PORNO

Friday, July 31 by

By Roger Ebert*There is an ugly scene in Squirt In My Gape 3 that I want to tell you about. A young woman played by Bobbi Star has just had her gaping anus filled with both male and female ejaculate. We see the girl, pretty yet exhausted, contorting her body in such away as to avoid spilling the fluids. The cameraman moves in to give the audience the requisite close-up of the genetic ooze she is holding ever so precariously.?? We expect the scene to end, but it does not. The audience is left waiting for what seems like an eternity. Then, without warning, a bubble begins to form.

LARRY DAVID TALKS “SEINFELD” REUNION

Friday, July 31 by

Though he's always been opposed, Larry David is finally caving and doing a Seinfeld reunion — on the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The fictional reunion will be the through-line of season seven with the original cast all appearing as themselves. Recently at the TCA press tour, David told critics what they can expect to see of the reunion. "You won't see the entire show. You'll see parts of the show. You'll get an idea of what happened (to the 'Seinfeld' characters) 11 years later."  The series returns on September 20th and I personally am very excited to see what happens if Kramer is locked in a room with Leon or Crazy Eyez Killah. (NJ)Get in the ass of these morning links and leave a Snickers wrapper behind…Fantastic Mr. Fox trailer is a stop-motion Bottle Rocket. (Yahoo)Roll out the Fisher 10! Ridley Scott will direct Alien prequel. (Dread Central)Jerry Bruckheimer goes to World War Robot. (Cinema Blend)Jeremy Renner's blowing up. (The Playlist)The sci-fi t-shirts you've always wanted. (io9)

HELLS YEAH! INTERVIEW WITH AUBREY TENNANT: MOST VALUABLE EXTRA

Thursday, July 30 by

Our friend Vince @ FilmDrunk has the best interview with a film's extra that I've ever read. You should read it if you want to get a look into the side of the biz that Ricky Gervais never quite captured in his little HBO show about those unsung folk known in proper Hollywood vernacular as "background" (because "extras" would imply they are extraneous, and Lord knows that when your protagonist is walking out of a building, or eating in a restaurant, there are always faceless bodies that need to be passing by). Otherwise sh*t just ain't real. Anyway, kudos on tracking down Mr. Tennant, Vince.  Read the full coverage about MVP: MOST VALUABLE PRIMATE's real value HERE.

‘FUNNY PEOPLE’ ACTRESS CARLA GALLO

Thursday, July 30 by

It seems like every Judd Apatow movie features a quick sex-oriented scene with Carla Gallo (see 40 Year Old Virgin, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Superbad, etc).  The only problem with this is that she's only in one scene; she should be in more.  She sticks around for only one scene in his newest flick Funny People, but we're such suckers for her we'll take what we can get.  Hopefully, Apatow will learn that she should be more featured.  Until then, she has a pretty good supporting role (meaning she's in more than one scene) as an up and coming porn actress in Californication.  A word from Carla: "I love Urban Outfitters skinny jeans. And they're the right price!"She should do commercials for Urban Outfitters; her ability to exist in only one scene is perfect for commercial format (damn you Apatow!).  Check out more hot photos of Carla after the jump!

NEW ‘WORLD’S GREATEST DAD’ CLIP WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS, WEED & OLD LEADY CLEAVAGE

Thursday, July 30 by

Today, Hulu put up this new clip from the Robin Williams-starring WORLD'S GREATEST DAD, in which his character Lance Clayton makes nice with the old neighbor lady over some weed, bonds over zombies and informs her that his son (SPY KIDS' Darryl Sabara) is spying on her when she drops her top every night.  What she does with the information might shock and appall you, which is perhaps why there's an age-check gate on this clip.  We have not had a chance to see WORLD'S GREATEST DAD yet.  The above clip is intriguing but the trailer showed even greater promise.  Even Devin from CHUD.com, who seems to hate a lot of stuff out there, heaped praise on it.  The film's already available via Video On Demand.  If you're not sold, you can check out IGN's interview with director Bobcat Goldthwait after the jump.  Laura Celeste Is Very Hot (Gorillamask) Justin And Johnny: Whore Island (Holytaco) Interview With The Guy Punching The Air From Most Valuable Primate (Filmdrunk) Megan Fox Is A Genius (Manofest) Einstein Action Figures For Mega-Nerds Only (Walyou) The Worst Macguffins Ever (Pajiba) 6 Things That Shouldn't Explode, But Did Anyways (Cracked) Snuggies For Dogs, Now? (Sickpigs) 5 Fast Food Restauraunts That Make You Scared To Fart (Coedmagazine) 5 Job Suggestions For Sarah Palin (Celebjihad) Professions Women Think Are Hot (Mademan) MMA Steroid Busts Timeline (Cagepotato) Adding Celebrity Faces To Houshold Appliances And Mechanical Items (Unreality) Japanese Super Toilets Coming To America (Asylum) Manly Rugby Mascot Attacked By Fan (Bustedcoverage) A Collection Of "To All U Haterz" Videos (Uncoached) 5 High School Crushes: Where Are They Now? (Regretfulmorning) Bill O'reilly Thinks Naked Girls Are Pinheads (Bachelorguy) Happy Birthday, Jaime Pressley (Moondogsports)

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: THURSDAY, JULY 30th

Thursday, July 30 by

A heist, the double-lives of spies, sex addiction, ghosts, and the voice of a generation round out your top TV options tonight.FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!

10 KICK-ASS MOVIE PREACHERS

Thursday, July 30 by

Chan Wook Park’s THIRST opens this Friday, and if you haven’t seen the trailer or read up in the genre flick, it’s about a priest who gets turned into a…

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