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What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, October 2nd – Sunday, October 4th, 2009

Friday, October 2 by

Down and out rockers, a washed-up martial artist, a Seinfeld reunion, and a Matt Damon freak out. This weekend's television is a range of emotions. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC

Review: Paranormal Activity

Friday, October 2 by

I'm tasked with reviewing this movie but am utterly loath to give away any of the events of the movie itself. I'll keep it very, very basic (and I encourage you to skip any trailers, commercials, or in-depth descriptions): A couple has been experiencing strange events in their house so the boyfriend (Micah) buys a video camera to catch it on film so they can maybe figure out what's happening. That's about all you need to know about the plot. The movie is filmed entirely with Micah's camera and it alternates between daytime shots, where the couple discuss what's happening, and a static nighttime bedroom shot, where Micah sets the camera on a tripod so they can see what happens while they sleep. Aside from allowing some breathing room between scares, the alternating day-and-night mechanic is extremely efficient at creating a basic psychological response for the viewer–as soon as you see that static night shot, you tense up, grab the arm rest, your eyes start to water, and you get goose bumps like no one's business–and nothing's even happened yet.

TEMP Drew Barrymore Kissing Shit TEMP

Friday, October 2 by

 http://celebrifi.com/gossip/Ellen-Page-And-Drew-Barrymore-Are-The-Hot-New-Lesbian-Couple-398901.html  Today's Marquee Links: The ChiveWalyouTotalProGorillaMaximBachelorGuy

‘Dexter’ Actress Julie Benz

Friday, October 2 by

If you're a Joss Whedon fan I probably don't have to tell you that Julie Benz played Darla on Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  She actually auditioned for the titilar character, but Sarah Michelle Gellar stole it from her!  It seemed to turn out alright for everyone, though.  Now you can see Julie as Dexter's new smokin' hot wife Rita on Dexter.  She's oblivious that she's married to a serial killer, but she makes delicious meals everynight and still likes to please her man.  I'll take it!      A word from Julie: "There’s no such thing as overnight success. You have to work very hard every single day."Unless you're a socialite, like a certain heiress to the Hilton throne.  Then you don't have to work at all.  Actually, you don't have to do much of anything.  Just say stupid things and "release" a sex tape.  Alright, you caught me, I'm talking about myself, Ian (Hilton) Sobel.  Here are some pics that don't work too hard to get their point across!

Clinton Roasts Letterman on Blackmail

Friday, October 2 by

By now, you probably know that David Letterman was the victim of a blackmail scheme, in which a former employee threatened to release a screenplay that would reveal Dave had had sexual relations with women who were in his "Late Show" employ. And you may also be aware that Dave admitted to doing dirty deeds on his program. So what would happen if former President Bill Clinton came back to guest on Dave's show, after all the years of enduring the CBS funnyman's arsenal of Lewinski jokes? Probably this: Today's Marquee Links:Hot Crew Women of the NHL [Photos]Best. Hot Tub. Ever.

“Transformers 3″ Set For July 1st, 2011 Release

Friday, October 2 by

 Michael Bay announced via MichaelBay.com yesterday that Transformers 3 is a go. They've settled on a story and met with both ILM and Hasbro to discuss the details. Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox haven't announced their involvements yet but are expected to be on-board. In his announcement, Bay wrote directly to Fox: P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you. Minor chest hair growth? I wonder why that hasn't effected Shia. These morning links will not cause intense nausea… Let Me In has its cast (Dread Central)Don Cheadle discusses War Machine (/Film)The Ramones biopic is gabba-gabba-happening (First Showing)Mo'Nique throws her weight around (The Playlist)James Franco joins the cast of General Hospital (Cinema Blend)Letterman dips his quill in the company ink (Reuters)

Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell Attacked by Crazies

Thursday, October 1 by

Attacked By Crazies – Watch more Movie TrailersBreck Eisner's directorial track record is a little suspect. His 2005 feature debut, Sahara, made us McConaug-hate. And 'round these parts, we're not prone to negativity about Mr. J.K. Livin'. Needless to say, we were a little circumspect about this new project, The Crazies, a remake of George Romero's 1973 flick of the same name. But color us impressed by what we've seen so far. And it looks like Eisner is attached to helm both Creature from the Black Lagoon and Flash Gordon remakes in the next few years. So he must be doing something right. Judge for yourself in the trailer above.  But after viewing don't look back. Just click on these links: If Celebrities Were The Animals They Look Like (HolyTaco) Predictions For The 2009-10 NHL Season (TotalProSports) The Products Of Real Life Mad Man (TheChive) Hugh Jackman Trains Robot Boxer (FilmDrunk) 9 Most Annoying Commercial Jingles Of All Time (SuperTremendous) 25 Worst Movies Of The Decade (Pajiba) Leaked Naked Pictures Of Rihanna Real (CelebJihad) The World's Only Bill Paxton Pinball Machine (Unreality) Learn The Ways Of A Scotch Whisky Master (Asylum) Win Two Tickets To Brett Favre Mania (BustedCoverage) 25 Sexy Plumber's Cracks (RegretfulMorning) The Art Of The One Minute Shower (MadeMan) Get It Together, ESPN (AllLeftTurns)

The Crazies

Thursday, October 1 by

Cast: Timothy Olyphant, Radha MitchellDirector: Breck EisnerSynopsis: A husband and wife in a small Midwestern town find themselves battling for survival as their friends and family descend into madness in The Crazies. A mysterious toxin in the water supply turns everyone exposed to it into mindless killers and the authorities leave the uninfected to their certain doom in this terrifying reinvention of the George Romero horror classic.

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, October 1st, 2009

Thursday, October 1 by

Louis C.K., Robert Townsend, Brian Regen, and a dead Amish kid. Tonight's TV Preview is a laugh riot. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘FlashForward’ Actress Genevieve Cortese

Thursday, October 1 by

Genevieve Cortese is an accomplished stage actress who now stars as Tracy Stark in FlashForward.  She went from performing Shakespeare to acting opposite Harold from Harold and Kumar.  Not to diss John Cho, because he's one funny mofo, but I think we can all agree that Kal Penn, a.k.a. Kumar, is a lot more similar in likeness to Macbeth.  First of all, Kal is Indian and Hamlet is Danish, so they're practically neighbors.  Second of all, this argument is incoherent and offensive to masterpiece literature.  It also has nothing to do with Genevieve, who, did I mention, is an accomplished stage actress?   A word from Genevieve: "I'm a big tomboy and I like sports, but I'm also girly and I giggle a lot more."There's nothing wrong with giggling, Genevieve.  Let those giggles out while you're hiking a pigskin or knocking a softball out of the park.  Just as long as you're not giggling at me, who's most likely fumbling around in the outfield trying to fit in with the jocks.  Oh how I suck at sports…Here are some pics after the jump that are secure in their athletic abilities!

DEXTER

Thursday, October 1 by

Network: ShowtimeCast: Michael C. Hall, Julie Benz, Jennifer Carpenter Synopsis: A like-able Miami police forensics expert moonlights as a serial killer of criminals who he believes have escaped justice.

Zombie Movie Survival Statistics

Thursday, October 1 by

Thanks to some early positive reviews and serendipitous schedule openings, Zombieland has been pushed up to an early release: this Friday, October 2nd. We couldn't be more excited for Zombies to deservedly reclaim the spotlight from those f**king vampires for at least a little while. Don't get us wrong. Zombies have never really left.  Books like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Max Brooks's Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z… movies like Shawn of the Dead… even Twitter accounts like shitmyzombiesez have all been carrying the torch. In preparation of a Zombie attack this weekend, we've decided to provide you with some handy graphs, charts and diagrams to aid you. Feel free to work them into your company meetings.   

LA Candy

Thursday, October 1 by

A young woman strikes gold in the Hollywood Hills.

“”"”The Hills”: The Book”: The Movie!”"

Thursday, October 1 by

Back in high school, Lauren Conrad was featured on the MTV reality show Laguna Beach, a docudrama that followed the lives of Southern California teens. After graduation, she moved to Los Angeles and starred in the reality spin-off The Hills. She's since left the show but along the way a ghost-writer tapped Conrad to create a fictionalized biography about her televised life. That book, the New York Times bestseller LA Candy, joins the esteemed ranks of Viewfinder, Asteroids, and Battleship in getting it's own movie adaptation. That's correct. A movie based on a book based on a television show based on another television show based on nothing. Hollywood, please be careful when sucking your own d*ck. You could break your neck. (Cinematical) Grab a napkin and check out these morning links… Lies from the prosecution may flatten Polanski's case (/Film)Roger Avary jailed. Will this slow down Return to Castle Wolfenstein? (AP)Seth Rogen's Green Hornet costume has a slimming effect (First Showing)Buzz Lightyear: Origins (Cinema Blend)Red Dawn set pics (Latino Review)Stallone over-explains Death Wish (Empire)

Japanese TV Show Night Vision Goggle Soccer Fail Explosion!!!

Wednesday, September 30 by

Japanese Night Vision Goggle Soccer – Watch more Funny Videos This is some Japanese blooper show from what looks to be the late 80's judging by the Cosby sweaters.  And I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that famed filmmaker "Beat" Takeshi Kitano is the co-host of this program. It's as if Dave Coulier left "America's Funniest People" only to then direct and star in a bloody, violent Yakuza film. Though, truth be told, if they remade Battle Royale in English and I had to pick someone to play the teacher, I'd go with Coulier. Just to see him kill a schoolkid with a throwing knife would make up for the shame he was put through entertaining America's youth as as Uncle Joey. Here are Today's Top Links. No Popeye, Bullwinkle or Jackelope Voice Needed:  If Tom Brady Had Another Comic (HolyTaco) High School Football Team Pulls A Buffalo Bills (TotalProSports) 20 Restaurants To Avoid At All Costs (TheChive) Olivia Munn Spoofs Twilight (FilmDrunk) The Human Jumbotron Is Insane (SuperTremendous) 5 Best Movies About Non-Traditional Sports (Pajiba) Timberlake Wants To Hit Rihanna (CelebJihad) Celebs Get Together To Examine Their Breasts (Unreality) 6 Reasons Men Have Sex (Asylum) 2009 Make 'Em Piss Blood Challenge (BustedCoverage) 7 Blasphemous Cartoons (RegretfulMorning) Be Your Own Action Figure (MadeMan) Hockey Player Wants To Try NASCAR (AllLeftTurns) Nightclub Suck Punch Attack (NothingToxic) Grand Theft Auto Precinct (Atom)

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