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WHAT TO WATCH ON TV TONIGHT: TUESDAY, JULY 7th, 2009

Tuesday, July 7 by

  Alright, it's that time of day again for us to provide a handy guide of tonight's worthwhile television offerings you need to watch. Of course, that's assuming that you're not worn out from watching Michael's all-day memorial. No pressure but if you feel so inclined to turn down "Beat It" for a few hours.  We got your back. See what to watch after the jump:

Break

Tuesday, July 7 by

Director: Marc Clebanoff Cast: Frank Krueguer, Sarah Thompson, Michael Madsen, David Carradine, Jamie Lynn Synopsis: A detached hitman is hired to kill a terminally ill crime boss and his lover.  Things become complicated when he finds that the crime boss' lover is an old flame of his. Genre: Noir Release Date: July 14, 2009

‘BREAK’ ACTRESS JAMIE LYNN

Tuesday, July 7 by

Jamie Lynn plays "The Luscious Brunette" in the new comic book-styled noir Break.  I expect that if there are awards for truthfully naming a film's characters, Break will win one on the strength of Jamie Lynn's character name alone.  The luscious brunette is probably best known as the 2006 Penthouse Pet of the year.  She also has her own site, the aptly named sexyjamie.com where she opens herself up to all of the internet (for a small price).  Recently, she has been branching out of what my conservative relatives would call "the smut business" in favor of acting in films such as Break and 2008's Ninja Cheerleaders.A Word From Jamie: "My sexy photos and videos are updated once a week.  For only $19.95 a month, recurring every 30 days, you'll have access to my photos and videos."It's a small price for such a luscious brunette.  Check out more hot pictures of Jamie after the jump (for free!), and be sure to check out Break, available on DVD July 14th right here! 

ANDY ROONEY REVIEWS ‘BRUNO’

Tuesday, July 7 by

By Andy Rooney, of CBS's "60 Minutes"My primary care physician has recommended that I find a way to put more exercise into my daily routine. Normally I avoid all forms of physical exertion, but seeing as I’m no spring chicken anymore I decided it might be in my best interest to take him up on his suggestion.  I wouldn’t want to die and miss out on this newfangled digital television.  (Sometimes it’s hard to convey sarcasm through writing.  So let me just tell you last night I almost electrocuted myself walking into the HDTV my son bought me for Christmas.  It thought it was a doorway to the beach and I had my metal detector in hand.  Turns out I forgot to turn off the Travel Channel.)

GET FREE COPIES OF ‘KNOWING’ & ‘PUSH’ ON BLU-RAY!

Tuesday, July 7 by

     The KNOWING & PUSH Blu-Ray Contest Has Ended.  @agenttrav and @thyndman4are the winners!  Please direct tweet us or hit us up at feedback_at_screenjunkies_dot_com to arrange shipment!  CONGRATS!!Summit Entertainment just released two of this year's notable sci-fi flicks on DVD and Blu-Ray, and Screenjunkies has copies of both films (on Blu-Ray, of course, we're not savages).  Sure, you could buy Knowing here and Push here, but since free is better than not – even with Amazon's discounts – we're giving away two copies of each film for nuttin' (and nuttin' means we pay the postage, too). Find out how to get the goods after the jump.

HULU WILL STREAM MICHAEL JACKSON’S MEMORIAL SERVICE TODAY

Tuesday, July 7 by

Today beginning at 9:30 a.m. PST, 12:30 p.m. EST Hulu will live stream Michael Jackson's Memorial Service. Stevie Wonder, Al Sharpton, Brooke Shields, Smokey Robinson, Berry Gordy, Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, and John Mayer amongst others will be appearing as eulogizers. I only hope that Mayer knows this is the wrong venue to try out his stand-up material. [via The Business Insider]Morning headlines that won't cause epic gridlock… Zach Galifianakis plots his takeover of Hollywood. (Reuters) Baywatch is getting the big screen treatment. (First Showing) Lost loses its best writer. (NY Mag) Sly talks The Expendables. (Latino Review) A Christmas Carol poster is SMOKIN'! (Cinema Blend) Is Michael Jackson's ghost haunting Neverland Ranch? (Dread Central)

TRAILER FOR ‘THE DESCENT: PART 2′

Monday, July 6 by

THE DECENT: PART 2 Trailer – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSThe Descent: Part 2 trailer has arrived online and it looks every bit as scary as the original.  And, judging by the brief images in the above, the film looks to combine several elements that scare the crap out of me — dark, confined spaces, vicious man-eating creatures and the Paris Hilton sex tape. It's bound to give me nightmares so if you don't mind, I may have to sleep with your mom tonight.  If you'll recall, I take two sugar cubes in my morning coffee; please have it ready.  Hang on one sec… your mom's requesting two teabags for her… Oh.  Wait that last bit wasn't for you.Descend Into The Lowest Common Denominator with Today's Top Web Content! Santana Rose, By Any Other Name, Would Still Be Hot (Gorillamask) What Your Tattoo Really Says About You (Holytaco) Because The World Needs A TJ Hooker Movie (Filmdrunk) Sesame Street vs. Slayer (Manofest) An Awesome Xbox 360 Laptop Mod (Walyou) The 6 Best Films From The First Half Of 2009 (Pajiba) 5 Bizarre Sexual Conditions That Can Ruin Your Life (Cracked) How To Not Make Friends At An Animal Cruelty Protest (Sickpigs) The Megan Fox Sex Soundboard (Coedmagazine) Comparing Angelina Jolie And Megan Fox (Celebjihad) 9 Mistakes You Make While Getting It On (Mademan) Fun In The Offices Of The Dudes Who Run UFC (Cagepotato) A Collection Of Pretty Awesome Celeb Casting Calls (Unreality) Roger Federer Or Tiger Woods? (Asylum) Teacher Sends Sex Tape Home With Kids, Father Objects (Bustedcoverage) The Best Bloodsport Clip That Never Aired (Uncoached) Can't Remember How Trashed You Were On The 4th?  Here's a Chart To Help (Regretfulmorning) A Ceiling Fan That Plays Music Is Useful, Right? (Bachelorguy) Will Albert Pujols Get A-Rod Money In 2012? (Moondogsports)More Commentary on Twitters from the Stars done by Some Guy in a Basement (Tweet Boxx) Inept Robbers Take A Dive Out Of A Store Door (Nothingtoxic) How To Be Funny In A Post-Moonwalking And Mighty Putty World (Atomfilms) New Alice In Wonderland Images (Filmofilia)

The Descent: Part 2

Monday, July 6 by

Director: Jon HarrisCast: Shauna MacDonald, Natalie Jackson Mendoza, Krysten CummingsSynopsis: Unable to plausibly explain to the authorities what happened – or why she's covered in her friends' blood – Sarah is forced back to the subterranean depths to help locate her five missing companions. As the rescue party drives deeper into uncharted caverns, nightmarish visions of the recent past begin to haunt Sarah and she starts to realize the full horror and futility of the mission. Subjected to the suspicion and mistrust of the group and confronted once more by the inbred, feral and savagely ruthless Crawlers, Sarah must draw on all her inner reserves of strength and courage in a desperate final struggle for deliverance and redemption.

What to Watch on TV Tonight: Monday, July 6, 2009

Monday, July 6 by

Hi there, fellow Junkies.  After weeks of debate, late-night coffee runs, bruised egos and one pivotal coin flip, we've decided to bring back a daily dose of nightly TV recommendations.  We haven't settled on a formula yet, so please bear with us as the way we deliver the goods will undoubtedly change more than Harry Knowles changes shirts (read: twice a week).  And PLEASE, PLEASE give us constructive criticism in the comments section so that we can make this as entertaining and informative as possible.  It's our way of giving back to the community while indirectly making people fatter so "Dance Your Ass Off" is never hurting for new contestants.  Here's What to Watch:

‘I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER’ ACTRESS LAUREN LONDON

Monday, July 6 by

The teen comedy I Love You, Beth Cooper comes out this Friday, and while everyone is enamored with the idea of Hayden Panettiere being PG-13 naked in the flick, there happens to be several other beautiful women in the film as part of Beth Cooper's entourage.  Lauren London happens to be one of them.  You might remember her from the films ATL and Next Day Air, or that one Episode of "Entourage" she was on.  She also appears to be the mother of Lil' Wayne's latest child, which has to be worth something.  And by something, I mean sh*tloads of child support.A Word From Lauren: "Barbara Streisand has always been an inspiration for me. I admire Jennifer Lopez because she's been against all the odds and she's made such a name for herself and she can put her name on anything and it sells and I admire that about her, but Barbara Streisand and Woody Allen are my favorites."Not every beautiful 24-year-old actress would cite Woody Allen and Barbara Streisand as heroes… That's way more intriguing than a Panettiere pseudo-nude scene.  Lauren, you now have our undivided attention.Check out more hot pictures of Lauren after the jump!

NEW RED BAND ‘JENNIFER’S BODY’ TRAILER

Monday, July 6 by

[Via ShockTillYouDrop.com]

FRENCH “ONG BAK 2″ TRAILER HAS ARRIVED

Monday, July 6 by

Though it has already been released in Europe and Asia, Tony Jaa's Ong Bak 2 has yet to find an American theatrical release date. I've posted a new trailer below that shows off Jaa's ability to kick both man and beast in the face. Hopefully the Weinstein company will release it later this year. Otherwise fans should start a grassroots campaign where they send knees to Harvey Weinstein's face. [via First Showing] Warning: No other morning headline features alligator-fighting… Gory photos from The Final Destination. (DVD Forum) Tony Stark has a sweet ride. (Latino Review) Unnecessary T.J. Hooker movie in the works. (Variety) Turkish gameshow attempts to convert atheists. (Reuters)

NEWEST TRAILER FOR ‘CARRIERS’ WITH CHRIS PINE & PIPER PERABO

Friday, July 3 by

CARRIERS Trailer #2 – Watch more Movie Trailers Hey kids! Happy 4th of July Weekend!  And you know what that means… Road Trip!  Yeah!  Hopefully yours has less pandemics than the one above.  Of course, if you encounter someone infected with something, just give everyone a slightly panicked, but friendly reminder to roll up their windows, just like Grandpa used to do when he drove through that neighborhood with "those people." Here are Your July 4th Weekend Links: Aylen Alvarez is Ga Ga Ga Good Looking (Gorilla Mask) Steal Johnny Depp's Public Enemies Style Here (Asylum) Homeland Security Prepping for Attack of Brüno Quotes (Film Drunk) 100 – count 'em – 100 SMOKING HOT U.S.A. Bikini Babes (Manofest) Iron Man-inspired Motorcycle Helmet is Bad Ass, Affordable (Walyou) NASCAR Movie Character Hall of Fame (All Left Turns) Guide to "Third Date" Movies Will Actually Help You (Pajiba) 7 Obnoxious A-holes at EVERY Concert.  Ready Devil Horns (Cracked) This Sh*t Will Most Definitely Happen at Your July 4th BBQ (Holy Taco) 14 Painfully FUNNY Fireworks FAILs (Coed Mag) Jessica Simpson Goes Bra-less.  GULP! (Celeb Jihad) Don "The Intimidator" Frye Makes His Nickname Stick in Public Enemies (Cage Potato) The Hunt for Gollum Fan Film is Better Than You Know, Dammit! (Unreality Mag) 25 More Patriotic Bikini Chicks (Busted Coverage) Kid FAILs at Singing National Anthem (Sick Pigs) The Four Sh*ttiest Franchises in Pro Sports (Bachelor Guy)

‘PUBLIC ENEMIES’ ACTRESS/SINGER DIANA KRALL

Friday, July 3 by

Today, Screenjunkies is classin' it up a bit with our daily gallery.  This is a rare occurence, so don't expect us to start listening to John Tesh music and eating endangered seal meat, or whatever it is the wealthy eiltes do.  The lovely jazz singer Diana Krall just happens to have a bit in Public Enemies as… big stretch… a singer.  This knocks our "Hot Girls In Public Enemies" count up to 4, in case you wanted to keep score.  Maybe this movie has more than just gunfights to entice us to see it.A Word From Diana: "So much of what we do as artists is a combination of personal experience and imagination, and how that all creeps into your work is not so linear."Wow, that's pretty deep… I promise, we'll return to hot starlets with sex tapes after the weekend.  No need to damage your brain with these sophisticated ladies.  Check out more hot – but tasteful – pictures of Diana after the jump!

Carriers

Friday, July 3 by

Directors: Àlex & David PastorCast: Chris Pine, Lou Taylor Pucci, Piper PeraboSynopsis: Four friends fleeing a viral pandemic soon learn they are more dangerous than any virus. 

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