LATEST HEADLINES

‘CAPTAIN EO’ RETURNING TO DISNEYLAND

Thursday, September 3 by

 The Playlist is reporting on a rumor that Michael Jackson's Captain EO may be making its way back to Disneyland. According to Disney insiders, the film will be back in the park this January. Man, 3D and celebrity deaths are soooo hot right now. The line is kind of blurry on this one. What do you think, heartfelt tribute or distasteful money-making ploy? Check out these links in eye-popping 2D!!! Guy Ritchie to direct Lobo movie. But why? (/Film)Mastodon scores Jonah Hex. (First Showing)Penelope Cruz in her underwear. (Latino Review)Sequels that should be in 3-D. (MTV)7 Beloved Celebrities and the Awful Sh*t You Forgot They Did. (Cracked)Cate Blanchett caught lovely. (NY Mag)

HAWK JONES… 10-YEAR-OLD COP!

Wednesday, September 2 by

Check out this three-minute sizzle reel from HAWK JONES that the good gents at Everything is Terrible have strung together. Imagine if the cast of SCARFACE & LETHAL WEAPON got the reverse treatment that Tom Hanks got in BIG.  Yes, minds blown and eyeballs effed in the A.  I would warn you about spoilers, but the chances that you'll actually find the film in its entirety are slim to none. (And yes, that is a personal challenge to you all. If you can find it and tell us where to get it, and we can actually get it… then you get a prize. For real. We can negotiate.) According to imdb.com, there's a straight-to-video movie called HAWK JONES that was released in 1986 and directed by one Richard Lowry, who also scored the film. That's all you have to go on. What do you have to say about the links below, stern but lovable police chief?"You may be crazy, but damned if you ain't clickable."  Hillary Fisher Chills In The Woods (Gorillamask) If Money Was Designed Today (Holytaco) Zachary Quinto Is Really Good At Swearing (Filmdrunk) 10 Dirtiest Hand Gestures Of All Time (Manofest) Is It Your iPhone Or Is It A Sleave?! (Walyou) Iron Man's 5 Douchiest Co-Stars (Pajiba) Celebrities And Their Respective Felonies (Cracked) '09 NFL Preview: Cheerleaders Edition (Coed) 7 Sweet Ass Summer Camps (Regretfulmorning) Hottest Tennis Players On The Planet (Maxim) Megan Fox Looks Deep Into Your Eyes (Celebjihad) 9 Best Cities For Bachelors (Mademan) Baroni To Take On Sadollah At UFC 106 (Cagepotato) 10 Louis C.K. Bits You Should Watch Right Now (Unreality) Overage Pics Of Cougar Convention 2009 (Asylum) Favorite Playmate Victoria Silvstedt Holds Up Well (Moondogsports) Russian Kid Beats Fragile Old Man (Nothingtoxic) Kick-Ass And Expendables Get Release Dates (Filmofilia)

WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2nd, 2009

Wednesday, September 2 by

A little song, a little dance, indie darlings and Paul Blart. Tonight's TV Preview features THREE things you might see at an awards show.   CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP   NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

‘Sons of Anarchy’ Actress Maggie Siff

Wednesday, September 2 by

Sons Of Anarchy returns to FX this Tuesday for its second season, and Maggie Siff returns along with it as the prodigal girlfriend Tara Knowles.  You may also recognize Maggie as Rachel Menken from AMC's Mad Men.  If you don't know her from either of these shows then you must have an aversion to awesome television.  Try turning off those reality programs that cast serial killer bachelors and tune in to some intelligent, gripping serialized dramas that utilize important things such as…writers!    A word from Maggie: "I think I fall into the camp of people who don’t feel safe about motorcycles." I don't even like when a motorcycle looks at me.  Damn thing sends chills up my spine.  That's probably because I imagine breaking my spine after I fly off of it and into a lamppost.  Stay off of bikes, Maggie, and maintain that beautiful figure of yours, which we can see more of right after the jump!  

DISNEY-MARVEL MASHUPS GALLERY

Wednesday, September 2 by

The announcement on Monday of the House of Mouse's plans to acquire the Marvel Bullpen sent a ripple thoughout the internet the likes of which has not been seen since Celebricide '09. Within hours there were several illustrations which combined the icons from either camp. Screen Junkies has scoured the corners of the 'Net to put together the most comprehensive gallery of these genius monstrosities. In addition, we sprinkled in a few of our own.   CLICK ON THE THUMBS TO SEE THE ORIGINALS IN THEIR FULL GLORY. EXCELSIOR!  

BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD REVIEW ‘EXTRACT’

Wednesday, September 2 by

Beavis and Butthead have come out of retirement to talk up Mike Judge's latest, Extract. It's great to see these guys again and I love their straight to the point and honest review. Perhaps if Ben and Ben showed this kind of charm they would still be At The Movies.  @ Yahoo! Video Look at these morning links, buttwagon… Iron Man 2 interested in jumping on the 3-D bandwagon. (First Showing) Downey & Favreau hop aboard Cowboys & Aliens. (Empire) Get ready for another 30 Days of Night. (Cinema Blend) MacGruber set photo. (Latino Review) Family Guy shuffles the writer's room. (Reuters)

YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO THE MYERS BRIS

Tuesday, September 1 by

I mean, psychotic or no, the man was born to slash foreskin. And it's a good thing, cause after FINAL DESTINATION whooped his ass this past weekend, he'll need steady work for a while.  You and a guest are cordially invited to attend the following:  Nicky Fleites Has Sand All Over Her Areas (Gorillamask) How To Survive When Your City Catches Fire (Holytaco) How Twilight Should Have Ended (Filmdrunk) The 10 (Or 20, Really) Biggest Breasts In The World (Manofest) Tetris Sugar Game Is Sweetest Game Of All Time (Walyou) Nominate Megan Fox And Make Your Awards Irrelevant (Pajiba) 5 Amazing Inventions That Will Doom Humanity (Cracked) I Can't Stop Singing Boyz II Men (Heeb) 7 Douchiest Theme Parties (Coedmagazine) Hottest Israel Women Deserve The Holy Land (Maxim) Miley Cyrus Ass-Sex Pics Leaked (Celebjihad) 10 Of History's Unknown Badasses (Mademan) Either Jerry Millen Is Stupid, Or He Thinks You Are (Cagepotato) 15 Movies That Can Also Be Watched Backwards (Unreality) Mudflat Olympics In Germany Gets Dirty (Asylum) Playboy Really, Really, Really Wants Lohan To Pose Nude (Moondogsports) Mickey Turned To Prostitution After Marvel Joined The Team (Atomfilms)

WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1st, 2009

Tuesday, September 1 by

Bad food, unexpected pregnancies, and workplace malaise. Tonight's TV Preview is just like any other day at the OBGYN. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

How to Hog Tie a Terrorist

Tuesday, September 1 by

Ever wonder nowadays whether the next commercial jet you fly on is going to get hijacked? If you have anxiety issues like me, this is the part where you turn your head, look out the window and gruffly whisper, "Every damn day…" Well, there's a show for people like us, or people who like being prepared.  It's called "Surviving Disaster," and Season 2 premieres tonight on Spike @ 10pm ET/PT. Check out the clip below, where Navy SEAL/badass host Cade Courtley teaches us how to hog tie an airplane hijacker.  How to hog tie a terrorist. – Watch more Funny Videos Who is this Courtley guy? He's like your own personal cheerleader for urban survival. He's like Bear Grylls, but useful. Face it; you're never going to get lost on a mountain. You're more likely to die from choking on a glazed donut. Or a bank heist gone awry.  And guess what? Courtley covers bank heists this season.  And earthquakes, and home invasions, fire, mall shootings, hurricanes and effin' nuclear attacks.  And nuclear attacks are just like the world's giant glazed donuts. Silent. Deadly. And served by a Korean.   

‘CARRIERS’ ACTRESS EMILY VANCAMP

Tuesday, September 1 by

In Carriers, coming out this Friday, Emily VanCamp plays one of four friends trying to outrun the end of the world and each other.  Apparently someone even as cute as her is still susceptable to the awful viral pandemic threatening to destroy the human race.  It's amazing how quickly movies get made these days.  Swine flu just hit the scene and it already has a film coming out about it starring Emily VanCamp.  Let's all hope its ego inflates so rapidly that it implodes and we can enjoy this coming winter instead of worrying about possible death.    A word from Emily: "Getting naked is sort of taboo in America, and I think that's something we need to get over." Yeah, great, because being nude isn't a good way to catch a virus, Emily.  Pffff. Whatever. I'm just going to look at all the pics of you after the jump now.

DISNEY BUYS MARVEL

Tuesday, September 1 by

Of course by now you have read about Disney's purchase of Marvel for the astonishing price of $4 billion. But what does this mean exactly? Will characters in the Marvel Universe be needlessly Jonas-ized? That's doubtful (God willing). There's been some speculation that Pixar will animate a Marvel property or two. To which I say 'yes' and 'please'. But more than likely, the changes won't be too drastic. Except for the fact that Stan Lee will now be a fixture in the club scene, where he'll be seen regularly making it rain on them hoes. Blowin off stacks of cheddar… Drizzle some billz on these morning links… A nervous Fox polishes the turd that is The Fantastic Four films. (First Showing)Predator Goes Hawaiian. (io9)Writer Shakes hands with Bruckheimer. (Latino Review)VH1 takes out the trash. (NY Mag)De Mornay cast as MILF. (Empire)From an end, comes a new beginning for Supernatural. (Cinema Blend)

ASTRO BOY

Monday, August 31 by

Director: David Bowers Cast: Nicholas Cage, Kristen Bell, Freddie Highmore, Donald Sutherland, Eugene Levy Synopsis: Set in futuristic Metro City, Astro Boy is about a young robot with incredible powers created by a brilliant scientist in the image of the son he has lost. Unable to fulfill the grieving man's expectations, our hero embarks on a journey in search of acceptance, experiencing betrayal and a netherworld of robot gladiators, before he returns to save Metro City and reconcile with the father who had rejected him.  

SURVIVING DISASTER

Monday, August 31 by

 

‘AGORA’ TRAILER HAS RACHEL WEISZ, SWORDS, HEAVY CLEAVAGE.

Monday, August 31 by

AGORA Trailer with Rachel Weisz – Watch more Movie Trailers Above is the first trailer for the new Egypt-under-the-Roman-Empire period piece, which stars Rachel Weisz as the brilliant astronomer Hypatia, who along with her disciples, fights to save the wisdom of the Ancient World during a violent religious upheaval.  It looks like there's action, but whether or not Weisz will kick some holy Roman ass remains to be seen. The title bugs me. "Agora." It comes from the Greek for a marketplace. That's like naming DIE HARD "NAKATOMI PLAZA." Or UNDER SIEGE 2 "MOVING TRAIN." If they're going to just name it after the location, they could at least do something dynamic like THE TOWERING INFERNO did. Maybe call it RELIGIOUS RUMBLE AT THE ALEXANDRIA MALL. Or I'M AGORA GIT YOU SUCKA.Git deez links, SUCKA!Mindi Smith Is A One-Woman Carwash (Gorillamask)The Anatomy Of A Bikini Carwash (Holytaco)Rambo 5: Rambo Goes To Mexico (Filmdrunk)25 Amazing Man Babies (Manofest)Nintendo Rubik's Cube Is 8-Bit Fun For All (Walyou)The Best TV Robots (Pajiba)Cheap Acting Tricks That Fool The Critics (Cracked)So Many Hot Legal Schoolgirls (Coedmagazine)'09 Hometown Hotties Finalists. Rock The Vote! (Maxim) It's Not Too Soon For Dead Ted Kennedy Jokes (Celebjihad)How To Tell If She'll Be Good In Bed (Mademan)Ed Herman Is Pretty Certain His Knee Is F*cked (Cagepotato)Video Game Console Costumes Turn You Into A Tool (Unreality)Robot Striptease Teaches Us How To Feel (Asylum)Celebrities 'Hate' Vick's Return To The NFL (Moondogsports) Cop Rams Squad Car Into A Man In A Wheelchair (Nothingtoxic)The Worst Speeches Of All Time (Atomfilms)First Pics Of Ms. Kidman in 'Rabbit Hole' (Filmofilia)

AGORA

Monday, August 31 by

Director: Alejandro Amenábar Cast: Rachel Weisz, Max Minghella, Rupert Evans Synopsis: A historical drama set in Roman Egypt, concerning a slave who turns to the rising tide of Christianity in the hopes of pursuing freedom while also falling in love with his master, the famous female philosophy professor and atheist Hypatia of Alexandria.  

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