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7 Celebrity Netflix Queues

Monday, October 12 by

 You're a big fan of some Hollywood celebrity. You want to learn more about their private lives. And Us Weekly's "Stars: They're just like us!" section stopped being riveting after you found out Christian Slater drinks Starbucks.    You want to learn the dirt… the real dirt… but you don't want to have to root through the celeb's trash bins for goodies. All that usually gets you is a bunch of hot garbage and a night in jail where hot garbage smell is an aphrodisiac for your cell mates.    Well, thanks to the internet, you can now just hack into her Netflix account. After all, sometimes a DVD rental queue is much more telling than a heap of old groceries, anyway.

“FlashForward’s” Courtney B. Vance Wins Over Court with ‘Retarded Donut Man’ Speech

Monday, October 12 by

Retarded Donut Man Speech – Watch more Funny Videos In case you missed Rosie O'Donnell going full retard over the weekend in the replay of Riding on the Bus with My Sister, don't fear. We have FlashForward's Courtney B. Vance embarrassing Special folks everywhere in the made-for-TV movie The Boys Next Door. In this scene, Courtney B. Vance plays a retarded character imagining himself as the real Courtney B. Vance addressing a courtroom full of people, only to then realize that the real Courtney B. Vance is just a figment of the actor Courtney B. Vance's retarded character's imagination. Oh god… this is so meta it's metarded. These links be fat with donuts:  Awesome Cartoon Intros In Foreign Languages (HolyTaco)   Dwight Schrute And Gilbert Arenas Hang Out (TotalProSports) 13 Bed Sheets That Are Cooler Than Yours (TheChive) Cats React To Twilight New Moon Trailer (FilmDrunk) 20 Funniest Animal Photobombs Of All Time (SuperTremendous) 5 "Best" Columbus Day Related Films (Pajiba) Jessica Alba's Wet Sex Scene (CelebJihad) Top 10 Val Kilmer Movie Roles (Unreality) The Best/Worst Professions To Date (Asylum) Road Trip To The Grove (BustedCoverage) 25 Examples Of Sad, Sad Kids Halloween Costumes (RegretfulMorning) Getting A Waitress To Go Home With You (MadeMan) Earnhardt Losing Streak Reaches 51 (AllLeftTurns) Bar Clearing Brawl Ends In Gangsta Gunfight (NothingToxic) Blind Date With A Deep Throat (Atom)

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, October 12th, 2009

Monday, October 12 by

Tonight's episode of Heroes morphs into a Girls Gone Wild video and MTV airs the reality series starring real-life Final Destination victim, DJ AM. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC

‘New York, I Love You’ Actress Rachel Bilson

Monday, October 12 by

This entire week we're focusing on the girls of New York, I Love You, an anthology of filmic love letters to NYC, which opens this Friday.  Our first girl is Rachel Bilson, who holds a special, warm, pillow-topped place in my otherwise jaded heart.  If only she wasn't engaged to Anakin Skywalker we could run away together and live happily ever after on a tropical island, relying simply on coconut milk and intense passion as sustenance.  I'd even forgive her for starring in Jumper, and that takes a ton of will power on my part.  I mean, did you even see that movie, Rachel?  Not even Sam Jackson's platinum blond hair could save it.             A word from Rachel: "It's great playing someone who is not like me at all. I'm really a nice girl, so it's fun to be a bitch, then come home and be myself again." I feel the same way about my role at work.  Boy, do I act like a big, catty bitch around the office.  It's all about "Talk to the hand" this, and "Have some scalding hot coffee in your face" that.  It's exhausting to keep up the persona.   Here are some pics of a nice girl being naughty after the jump!

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Rachel Bilson

Monday, October 12 by

Simply adorable.

Yes, It’s A Dexter Porn Parody

Monday, October 12 by

We're surprised it took the Adult Entertainment wizards this long to come up with this, but after having headed into its fourth season, Showtime's "Dexter" has been honored with its own porn spoof. Sort of ironic that a show whose marketing campaign has been so reliant on clever puns has had to wait that long for an industry founded on puns (and intercourse) to do a sexy sendup. For those of us not counting back end points, this is way cooler than syndication…   The official press release, courtesy of the very NSFW news publication Porn Valley News (which we can't even link to because it's so dirty), reads:

New York, I Love You

Monday, October 12 by

Director: Allen Hughes, Natalie Portman, Brett RatnerCast: Shia LaBeouf, Natalie Portman, Bradley Cooper, Orlando Bloom, Rachel BilsonSynopsis: An anthology film joining several love stories set in one of the most loved cities of the world, New York.

The Cabin in the Woods

Monday, October 12 by

A twisted and unusual take on the familiar "cabin in the woods" formula.

“The Cabin In The Woods” Delayed Until 2011

Monday, October 12 by

(The hands that won the Superbowl.) Would you like to see a trailer for Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard's subversive horror flick The Cabin In The Woods? Well, friend, look no further than right here… about a year from now. MGM has announced that they are pushing the film's release date to early 2011(!) so that they may convert the film to 3D and capitalize on the hot, new trend. Sounds like a risky plan to me. Anything could happen between now and 2011. The financially-shakey MGM could go under; 3D could be yesterday's news; Whedon's fans may get girlfriends who won't let them watch horror films; or we could all fall victim to the dreaded Y2K10 Bug which will wipe out all technology as we know it. (Shock Til You Drop) Here's some more junk that pertains to the screen… Rampage rocks the 'Hawk (Latino Review)Neil Marshall to Burst the 3D Horror bubble (Empire)Anvil are blowing up too (Superhero Hype)Tara Reid succumbs to the inevitable (WENN)The Georgous Ladies of Dr. Who (Gunaxin)

‘Toy Story 3′ Trailer Sees Toys Abandoned for College, Hopes of Ever Having Sex.

Sunday, October 11 by

It's been playing in theaters for a couple weeks, but now it's finally hit the 'nets. Yes, the new trailer for the long-awaited Toy Story 3, which tells the tale of Andy's toys' survival after they're unceremoniously dumped in a day-care center after Andy departs for college.The only toy that gets to come with Andy on his matriculation? A sassy, wisecracking Fleshlight named Virginia, voiced by Queen Latifah. Check out the trailer after the jump. 

TOY STORY 3

Sunday, October 11 by

Director: Lee UnkrichCast: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Michael Keaton, Joan Cusack, John RatzenbergerSynopsis: Woody, Buzz and the rest of their toy friends are dumped in a day care center when Andy departs for college.

Photobomb Fridays: Rear Window + Fat Spider-Man

Friday, October 9 by

"You know, sometimes I think I'd rather have my old wife-murdering neighbor back." Sorry, Jimmy. You'll have to settle for the fat nerd and these links:How To Convince Your GF That The House Is Haunted (HolyTaco)Matt Holiday Blows It For The Cardinals (TotalProSports)Caught Red Handed Lookin' At Boobies (TheChive)Terry Gilliam's Favorite Animated Films (FilmDrunk)The 10 Greatest Books Adapted Into Movies (SuperTremendous)The Boogieman Project Round II (Pajiba)Miley's Boyfriend Forced Her To Quit Twitter (CelebJihad)14 Coolest Guitar Hero Guitar Mods (Unreality)World's Larget Pumpkin Cannon In Action (Asylum)Why We Love College Football: A Gallery (BustedCoverage)Backyard Wrestling Ends Badly (RegretfulMorning)How To Make A Perfect First Impression (MadeMan)Audrina Patridge Thinks She Loves NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)Soccer Player Brutally Kicked In The Head (NothingToxic)Where Does Chocolate Milk Come From? (Atom)

Photobomb Fridays: Rear Window + Fat Spider-Man

Friday, October 9 by

What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, October 9th thru Sunday, October 11th

Friday, October 9 by

Rosie O'Donnell, Dr. Dre, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, and the Parasaurolophus. All of your favorite retards are in this Weekend TV Preview.   CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP   NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Ugly Betty’ Actress Becki Newton

Friday, October 9 by

Becki Newton plays Amanda on Ugly Betty, which starts its new season tonight on ABC.  She's sassy, sexy, and seems to like to get wild underneath the sheets.  Now this is all based on Amanda's character traits on the show, mind you, but it's comforting to assume that Becki herself also possesses these proclivities.  Bad news is she's married.  Booooo!  At least one thing is evident in the picture above: Becki likes pearl necklaces.  And this means only two things for her husband.  He's doling out a ton of cash at Zales or, he's doling out a ton of…well you get how double entendres work.          A word from Becki: "I make myself laugh all day long."Sounds like a serious debilitating disorder.  If this laughter is involuntary you might want to run the problem by your physician.  He could prescribe you some medication, or wrap you up in a straight jacket.  Don't let the latter option deter you from seeking help.Here are some pics that'll keep you smiling all day long after the jump! 

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