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What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, October 9th thru Sunday, October 11th

Friday, October 9 by

Rosie O'Donnell, Dr. Dre, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, and the Parasaurolophus. All of your favorite retards are in this Weekend TV Preview.   CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP   NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Ugly Betty’ Actress Becki Newton

Friday, October 9 by

Becki Newton plays Amanda on Ugly Betty, which starts its new season tonight on ABC.  She's sassy, sexy, and seems to like to get wild underneath the sheets.  Now this is all based on Amanda's character traits on the show, mind you, but it's comforting to assume that Becki herself also possesses these proclivities.  Bad news is she's married.  Booooo!  At least one thing is evident in the picture above: Becki likes pearl necklaces.  And this means only two things for her husband.  He's doling out a ton of cash at Zales or, he's doling out a ton of…well you get how double entendres work.          A word from Becki: "I make myself laugh all day long."Sounds like a serious debilitating disorder.  If this laughter is involuntary you might want to run the problem by your physician.  He could prescribe you some medication, or wrap you up in a straight jacket.  Don't let the latter option deter you from seeking help.Here are some pics that'll keep you smiling all day long after the jump! 

7 Movies Not To Watch If You’re Married

Friday, October 9 by

Couples Retreat is sponsoring Break Media this week, so I’m going to go ahead and describe the film as a hilarious look at real world problems faced by married couples.But when it comes to looking at the real world problems of married couples, not all films are so friggin' hilarious.  In fact, some movies might just ruin your crappy marriage!If you ever want to get married, or you‘re already married and want to stay that way, I recommend you avoid these seven films like Bryan Singer avoids vagina.(Click on the posters to watch each movie's trailer.)Private Parts

Tracy Morgan Is On Twitter

Friday, October 9 by

 The online campaign to convince comedian/cuckoo bird Tracy Morgan to join Twitter has bore fruit. The 30 Rock star joined the micro-blogging site yesterday in order to give his eager fans an inside view of his mind. In that time we have learned, "my d*ckhead is shaped liked a darth vadar helmet. my d*ck is so fat it looks like r2d2."  And, "I'm on the street turning good girls bad and getting them pregnant!!!" When asked for comment Sh*t My Zombie Sez, tweeted: "BBRAAIINNSS"!!! Well said. Well said. (Tracy Morgan's Twitter) These links are pregnant with information… Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans trailer (/Film)Dexter: The Animated Series (Dread Central)Andy Serkis's mo-cap of Ian Dury is uncanny (The Playlist)The Lovely Bones poster is lovely as expected (First Showing)The Saw guys buy Chainsaw (Empire)

Los Angeles Destroyed in ’2012′ Trailer #2

Thursday, October 8 by

The Mayan calendar was right. John Cusack's acting credibility will end in 2009. Make the mourning period easier with these links: 25 Bachelor Frog Memes (HolyTaco) 20 Hot Women In Painted-On Jerseys (TotalProSports) Asians Are Totally Normal, Not Weird At All (TheChive) Nick Nolte's Son Popped For DUI (FilmDrunk) Top Ten Bone Crushing Hits In Youth Football History (SuperTremendous) 50 Greatest Animated Films Of All Time (Pajiba) Miley Cyrus And Three Brown Chickens (CelebJihad) 15 Funny Signs With Changed Lines (Unreality) Birth Contol Can Make You Look More Attractive (Asylum) Why Going To Ole Miss Alabama Game Is Fun (BustedCoverage) 7 Drinking Games From Around The World (RegretfulMorning) Google Maps Just Got A Whole Lot Sexier (MadeMan) 5 Reasons Why Kasey Kahne Is Doomed (AllLeftTurns)

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, October 8th, 2009

Thursday, October 8 by

A drunk dwarf, potty humor, and speculation about Paris Hilton being a demon. Tonight's TV Preview mirrors the Howard Stern Show. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

UGLY BETTY

Thursday, October 8 by

Network: ABCCast: America Ferrera, Eric Mabius, Becki Newton, Vanessa WilliamsSynopsis: Betty Suarez is smart, sweet and hard working. The only problem is that she's not thin and beautiful like all her coworkers at Mode, the high-fashion magazine where she works. The only reason the publisher hired her to be his son's secretary, is that he thought Betty was someone who Daniel would never sleep with. Betty's hard work and determination earns Daniel's respect, as she helps him find his way through the shark infested waters of the fashion industry.

‘Community’ And ‘Mad Men’ Actress Alison Brie

Thursday, October 8 by

Alison Brie is pulling double duty this season, starring in two critically acclaimed shows.  One is a compelling drama and the other a chuckle-loaded comedy.  It must be quite a challenge transforming from Pete Campbell's doting wife on Mad Men to uptight college student Annie on Community.  I wonder if she ever gets them mixed up?  Does she ever arrive on Mad Men as her Annie character, giving her husband sass instead of a neat scotch?  No, I imagine she'd get a slap across the face from Matthew Weiner for such insubordination.  And if it were vice versa on the set of Community, you'd better believe Chevy Chase would berate her until tears rolled down from those big, blue eyes.  We could hope it would all be in good fun, but back in the day Chevy used to make actresses cry for sport.       A word from Alison: "When I was in college and growing up I was like, 'It's comedy for me! I'm so funny!'"Take it easy there, Alison.  You've proven yourself as a dramatic actress, but we still haven't seen enough of the sitcom to be convinced of your comedic chops.  Talk to the writers and see if they can work in some pratt falls and spit takes, and possibly a bottle of seltzer water.  Then you're sure to get our vote.Check out more pics after the jump that are funny in a hot way!

Tosh.0 2.1 Premieres Tonight!

Thursday, October 8 by

Tosh .O Best of the Worst Promo New Eps Oct 8th Thursday – Watch more Funny Videos

Tom Cruise Goes to College: A Comic

Thursday, October 8 by

This week, the paparazzi caught Tom Cruise on his trip to Harvard to watch his entertainment lawyer lecture a class of future legal eagles. This is what might have transpired had Cruise decided to stay in school. Today's Marquee Links20 Women with Painted-on Sports JerseysFemale Fans of the Chive [A Photo Gallery]

“The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus” Trailer

Thursday, October 8 by

 The latest trailer for "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus" is up over at Yahoo and it's more mind-bending than you would expect from Gilliam. The movie looks incredible and could be the one that allows Terry Gilliam to reclaim his place on the A-list. Tom Waits as the Devil and Jude Law as Heath Ledger? Insane. The trippy visuals look like what you would see if you played Candyland while smoking Salvia. Which, incidentally, I have a ton of if you're interested in buying. Just come find me in my van. I'll be parked near the food court at the mall. Trip the link fantastic…   Is Gary Ross being strongarmed into directing Venom? (The Playlist) Don't take the freeway. New 2012 trailer (Cinema Blend) Big Show wrestles to save the orphanage (Empire) Peewee angers an army of nerds (Vulture) Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman talk Couple's Retreat (Latino Review)

Tosh.0

Wednesday, October 7 by

  Synopsis: Comedian Daniel Tosh hosts this variety show focusing on internet viral videos.  Air Date/Time: Thursdays @ 10pm/9 Central Network: Comedy Central  

Wanna See ‘Paranormal Activity?’ DEMAND It Plays in Your City!

Wednesday, October 7 by

Paramount's low-budget scream fest Paranormal Activity is quickly becoming one of the best reviewed films of the year. But to this date, it's only playing in a handful of theaters. They're planning on expanding the film's distribution, but it's up to YOU to make that happen. Yes, for the first time ever, a movie's theatrical run will be democratized. You don't have to take our word as to just how F-ing scary good this movie is. But if you want to, you can read our glowing review here, or just check out the trailer, which gives virtually nothing away. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, you need to visit Eventful's site, where you can click a little "DEMAND IT!" button and essentially sign the petition to give Paranormal Activity a nationwide release. And don't we all love full releases?Be a part of movie history. Hell, click the button even if you don't want to see it. Of course, if you feel like reacquainting your pants with your feces, then we recommend buying a ticket to the flick, too. 

‘The Messenger’ Trailer Has Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad News

Wednesday, October 7 by

The Messenger Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Are you having a good day today? Maybe you're feeling a little too happy and you want to bring things down a few notches. Well look no further than this, the trailer for The Messenger, with Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster. They play military men who go door to door telling families that their loved ones have been killed in the war. It's like Publisher's Clearing House, only the checks are much, much smaller.  Dry those tears with today's top links:  Diary Of Letterman's Less-Attractive Intern Revealed! (HolyTaco) Another Craaazy High School Football Blunder (TotalProSports) Russian CSKA Cheerleaders Dress Funny (TheChive) The Talking Bluetooth Bear (SuperTremendous) Roman Polanksi On To Catch A Predator (FilmDrunk) Five Best And Worst New Shows Of The Fall (Pajiba) Megan Fox Poses Topless For Magazine (CelebJihad) South Park Kenny Is Made Of Cans (Unreality) 5 TV Show Casts That Need To Reunite (Asylum) Cheerleaders Make Breast Cancer Awareness Sexy (BustedCoverage) Hot Chick Smells Her Butt Crack (RegretfulMorning) How To Throw A Hauntoberfest Party (MadeMan) January Jones At Kansas Speedway (AllLeftTurns) Drag Queen Beats The Shit Out Of Drunk Thugs (NothingToxic) White Gorilla Wants To Party (Atom)

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Wednesday, October 7 by

Shark attacks, spider bites, drunk girls, and South Park's homage to dead celebrities. Tonight's TV Preview has got teeth! CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

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