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Zach Galifianakis May Lend Voice To ‘Puss In Boots’

Thursday, November 5 by

The producers of Puss In Boots have reportedly called Zach Galifianakis fat in the nicest way possible. The comic has been approached to supply the voice of the rotund, apple-cheeked Humpty Dumpty in the upcoming Shrek spin-off. Of course we all remember the story of Humpty Dumpty — after finding success amongst the Chicago improvisational comedy scene, the nursery rhyme egg went on to find greater fame with a thriving television and film career. Alas, he was tragically cut down in his prime by a deadly combination of alcohol, pills, and wall-sitting. If anyone can handle this mix of comedy and drama, it's Galifianakis. (/Film)

‘Despicable Me’ Trailer Ain’t No Pixar

Thursday, November 5 by

The Despicable Me trailer looks despicable meh. It introduces us to #1 Super Villain Gru (Steve Carell) and–OH WAIT he's been bested by a Syndrome-from-The-Incredibles-esque Super Villain named Vector (Jason Segel). The two then battle wits, which seems more like an exercise in futility for Gru considering Vector has saws, sharks, lasers, missiles, and a boxing glove mechanism that targets your crotch.

Despicable Me

Thursday, November 5 by

Director: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud, Sergio PablosCast: Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Will Arnet, Ken Jeong, Kristen WiigSynopsis: A trio of orphan girls cause the normally deplorable Gru to rethink his plan to steal the moon.

Steve Guttenberg Is Saying Things

Thursday, November 5 by

Steve Guttenberg (or "The Gute" as he is known in classier circles) broke the news recently that Disney is interested in reuniting he and his Three Men and a Baby co-stars for Fathers Of The Bride My Three Dads Of The Bride Three Men and a Bride."Disney's developing 'Three Men and a Bride.' That's going to be a smash. A smash hit. They're bringing everybody back for that. Nobody knows about it. I'm the first to talk about it.” Yeah sure, Steve. He adds,"It's definitely time for another 'Police Academy.' And I think they could make another 'Cocoon.' They're surefire hits and I think they're good for the world. They make the world a better place and that's what it's all about." But why stop there? Think of all your films that could become successful franchises. For instance, Law & Order: Criminal Intent – The Video Game for which you did voice work deserves a sequel. And what about 2002's P.S. Your Cat Is Dead!? There's plenty of room for another go-around where a different cat is dead. Give the fans what they need, Gute. Give them what they demand. (Hollywood)

Happy 40th Birthday, Big Bird. (I Still Think You’re Weird)

Wednesday, November 4 by

You may have noticed Big Bird's junk on Google today and thought to yourself, "What in blue blazes?!! I'm writing a letter!" Well, put down that pen, nerd. Big Bird's balls are all over Google because it's his 40th birthday and he has friends in high places. Hard to believe that Big Bird is now officially middle-aged. Then again I'm not really sure what the life expectancy is for a gigantic, ambiguously gay, yellow songbird. So…. Happy Birthday you big freak! (Associated Content) Have a piece of birdseed cake and check out these links… Hot Chicks Love the Top Gun Song (HolyTaco) Tim Tebow Makes For Quite the Halloween Costume (TotalProSports) The Amazing Mambo Dancing Dog (SuperTremendous) Avatar Crew Can't Stop Congratulating Itself (FilmDrunk) The Voices in Steve Guttenberg's Head (Pajiba) Michael Jackson Pees for Children (CelebJihad) How to Make a Convincing Chewbacca Noise (Unreality) Halloween at the White House (Asylum) Stacy Keibler Back to Selling "Used" Bikinis (BustedCoverage) Reunited with Dad (RegretfulMorning) iPhone Owners Make Bad Girlfriends (MadeMan) Danica NASCAR Deal Close (AllLeftTurns) Phillies and Yankees Fans Fight (NothingToxic) Hot Bawls Gets You Amped (Atom)

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Wednesday, November 4 by

Tonight, Robert Downey Jr. in blackface, Man Vs. Food in over his head, and Elisha Cuthbert in very little clothing. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC

‘Pirate Radio’ Actress Talulah Riley

Wednesday, November 4 by

You may better know Talulah Riley if you live across the pond in the UK. She's been in her fair share of British television, including appearances in Doctor Who. Next year she has a role in Christopher Nolan's Inception as the credited 'Blonde.' I'm guessing she doesn't have a soliliquy. A word from Talulah: "I’m not some sort of tormented soul looking for identity in the roles I take. I became an actress because I love dressing up and playing."I've got a scene for you. Int. My Bedroom – Night. Talulah walks in wearing a pleather nurse's outfit. I wince. End scene.Show some control with these pics after the jump.

Tom Cruise Wears Angelina Jolie Mask in ‘Salt’ Teaser Trailer

Wednesday, November 4 by

Yesterday, we brought you the Salt teaser trailer in Russian, and now we bring it to you in glorious English. I think you'll find it's easier to understand, unless of course you call the Motherland home. Salt, or as it could be titled, Mission Impossible 4: The Search for Ethan Hunt's Identity (Again), stars Angelina Jolie as Evelyn Salt, a CIA officer who swore an oath to duty, honor, and country. When she is accused by a defector of being a Russian sleeper spy, Salt goes on the run to clear her name and ultimately prove she is a patriot. Seems like a great deal of work to prove you're a patriot, when all you need is one of these: Angelina Jolie and a conservative, right-wing wiener dog save the country. Talk about a box office smash hit. Check out the Salt teaser trailer after the jump!

KNUCKLEHEAD

Wednesday, November 4 by

Written by Tom Sullivan & Bear Aderhold and Adam Rifkin, “Knucklehead” follows the on-the-road adventures of a trio of misfits – a naïve giant and church orphan-turned-amateur fighter Walter Krunk (BIG SHOW); former mixed martial arts champion-turned-manager Eddie Sullivan (MARK FEUERSTEIN); and church aide-turned-chaperone, Mary O’Connor (MELORA HARDIN) – fighting their way across the south to the annual Pro-Am mixed martial arts tournament in New Orleans.

The Big Show Goes Full-Retard In ‘Knucklehead’

Wednesday, November 4 by

WWE Champion Big Show is close to wrapping production on the WWE film, Knucklehead. In the movie, Big Show stars as Walter Krunk – a slow-witted lifelong orphan who needs to drum up $50K to save the orphanage he accidentally set ablaze. Enter MMA manager Eddie Sullivan, who takes Walter on the road to the annual Pro-Am mixed martial arts tournament in New Orleans with the intent of winning the $100K grand prize.So it's essentially a roided up version of 1989's The Wizard only this time retard-strength takes center stage as opposed to sick Super Mario Bros 3 skills. This also marks the first time that an actor will go full-retard while applying the full nelson. Move over, Sean Penn and Rosie O'Donnell. [FilmDrunk]

New Moon

Wednesday, November 4 by

Director: Chris WeitzCast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor LautnerSynopsis: The Twilight vampire Saga continues…

New Moon: ‘Meet the Volturi’ Video

Wednesday, November 4 by

We here at Screen Junkies don't pretend to know a great deal about the Twilight Saga, but that doesn't mean we're not willing to learn. As outsiders, and men, sparkling vampires just don't seem like our cup of blood (see what I did there?), but we're willing to have a civil discussion in the comments section regarding the fervent passion some feel toward Bella and Edward.  Below is a featurette modeled after the reality show Meet the Kardashians except with nefarious vampires. You might have trouble discerning the difference at first, but you'll soon realize that Bruce Jenner deals with a breed of bloodsuckers far more depraved than the Volturi. 

The Academy Awards

Wednesday, November 4 by

Hollywood's biggest night. Also, the night that Rob Schneider stays home and cries.

Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin To Co-Host The Oscars

Wednesday, November 4 by

This morning Variety reports that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be double-teaming the 82nd Academy Awards. Oscar co-producers Bill Mechanic and Adam Shankman didn't waste much time in snagging the duo as we told you yesterday that Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. had turned down the offer to co-host. Martin has the experience of both hosting and having had worked with Shankman in the past on Bringing Down the House. Sounds like two pretty solid hosts but oh, how we do wish that Baldwin were splitting hosting duties with Tracy Morgan.BALDWIN: "Are you excited to be here tonight, Tracy?"MORGAN: "I'm gonna get Oscar pregnant!"BALDWIN: "Ha ha. Now Tracy, stick to the script."MORGAN: "Sure thing, Alec B.. (long pause) I wanna break Helen Mirren's water!!"

Angelina Jolie Raises Blood Pressure In ‘Salt’ Trailer

Tuesday, November 3 by

Salt International Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosA Russian-dubbed trailer for Salt barged onto the Internet today and I can't understand a f&@%ing word of it. But I have seen Mission: Impossible, The Fugitive, and a couple episodes of Alias so I feel better equipped to explain the plot than many Russians would be able to. Angelina Jolie stars as Evelyn Salt, a sexy spy chick who is accused of being a double-spy by this other spy so she dyes her hair and goes on the run. While trying to clear her good name, she causes some sh*tty traffic on the Queensboro Bridge. Then she changes her name to "Coat" or something. Salt opens in theaters July 23rd, 2010.When you're done pleasuring yourself to the thought of a sexy Russian Angelina Jolie, check out these links…  10 More Helpful Warning Signs (HolyTaco) Phillies Victory Means We Get More Fights (TotalProSports) Totally Awesome Scarecrows (TheChive) Muhammed Biopic Will Prob Get Someone Killed (FilmDrunk) 20 Funniest eBay Auctions of All Time (SuperTremendous) Getting the Most Out of Your Theatergoing Experience (Pajiba) What If Celebrities Became Their Names? (CelebJihad) Most Embarrassing Movies to Watch with Your Parents (Asylum) Jim Nantz Can Now Bang Away (BustedCoverage) The Feminization of Vampire Movies (RegretfulMorning) Choose a Perfect Running Shoe (MadeMan) You Can Sponsor a Sprint Cup Car (AllLeftTurns)

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