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What’s On TV This Weekend: Friday, December 11th – Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Friday, December 11 by

 My eyes are up here, kid.This weekend, will Dexter Morgan get his man? Will Deb discover her brother's secret?? Will we get more "oh sh*t!" moments???CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Stanley Tucci Murders Children! …In This Featurette for ‘The Lovely Bones’

Friday, December 11 by

I love Stanley Tucci, in a completely plutonic way. Would I gently rub his bald head? Of course, but just so I could write the headline "Screen Junkies Rubbed Stanley Tucci's Head!" not because I would gain any sexual pleasure from the act. His performance as Mr. Harvey absolutely MAKES The Lovely Bones worth seeing. I was not a fan of the film overall, as it lacked in story depth and fleshed out character arcs, but I would recommend seeing it solely based on Tucci's chilling performance as Susie Salmon's murderer and griller. He puts a little lemon juice on her, some cracked pepper, she's delicious. Because she's salmon. Get it. Yo, whateva. Check out the featurette after the jump of Tucci discussing the difficulty of emboding the role of a monster such as Mr. Harvey. Oddly enough, he didn't like to think like a child murderer/rapist, but boy oh boy does it come through those blue eye contacts of his.

Sigourney Weaver Spills ‘Ghostbusters 3′ Beans

Friday, December 11 by

While doing press overseas for Avatar, Sigourney Weaver spoke a little bit about the impending Ghostbusters 3. But did she reveal too much?"I’m afraid to say it [Ghostbusters 3] is happening, I hope people are excited about that. I don’t know if I’m going to be in it, I have had a couple of calls asking ‘would you read the script.’  I might be in it; I see nothing wrong with being in it, although I don’t think I will have a big part. I think Bill Murray has a little more to do with it – he’s a ghost."Oh, thanks a lot Ms. Spoilthemovieforeveryoneelseovitch. Are you sure that Bill Murray is a ghost (or even interested)? Because I was recently promised I'd see him as a zombie and that didn't pan out as expected. If he's only wearing a white sheet in this thing, I'm getting my money back. (Channel 4 via AICN)

‘Dexter’ Actress Courtney Ford

Friday, December 11 by

Courtney Ford is one hot little number. She's been starring as reporter Christine in this season of Dexter, and she's been nakey a lot of the time. Niiiice. She's also married to Superman Brandon Routh, but I don't think anyone's intimated by that.A word from Courtney: "Oh my gosh, I hear theories every day!"Me too! Let's get together to discuss them. Drinks then dinner? Pick you up at 7? Lock Superman in a closet or something. 

No Third Season for HBO’s ‘Flight of the Conchords’

Friday, December 11 by

Bad news, nerdy guys. You won't have any new Flight of the Conchords songs to sing-along to in a failed effort to impress girls anytime soon. The New Zealand folk duo have announced that this past season of their HBO show will not be followed by a third. The show had grown too difficult to produce with the pressures of writing multiple original songs per episode. Though they are still expected to record albums, there is no word on when those may be released. So, sorry fellas. Looks like you're going to have to rely on Lonely Island to get you almost laid for the foreseeable future. (via Reuters)

The Trailer to End All Trailers

Friday, December 11 by

YouTube user Vadoskincheg created a masterpiece of modern cinema. He took trailers from over 50 films and melded them together to produce a preview for a movie so epic that no movie theater or even celluloid could contain its utter ferocity. My eyes are bleeding and my ears are still ringing from the first viewing. I'd go back for another, but I fear my mind can process no more. Behold the bombastic trailer of trailers in all its glory below.

‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ and Portman

Friday, December 11 by

Earlier reports that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies would be a television miniseries seem to be nullified today. Variety reports that Natalie Portman is teaming up with Richard Kelly and Lionsgate to bring the project to the big screen. No word yet on when filming will begin. Portman is currently busy having angry sex with Mila Kunis in The Black Swan and then she has Kenneth Branagh's Thor after that.  According to Variety:Portman will play feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet, who is distracted from her quest to eradicate the zombie menace by the arrival of the arrogant Mr. Darcy. Is this some kind of trick? Throwing zombies into classic literature so that I'll see it and maybe learn something?? Not gonna happen. **swigs from gasoline can** (Variety)

‘Dirty Country’ Trailer Sings the Hits

Thursday, December 10 by

Ever hear your dirty uncle singing a dirty, little diddy under his breath? It was probably written by this guy. Check out the NSFW trailer for 'Dirty Country' starring Larry Pierce. These are songs Willie Nelson would sing if he weren't so pigeon-holed.9 Funny 911 Calls (HolyTaco) Soccer Goalie Takes a Leak During Game (TotalProSports) Nothing Beats a Sexy Geek (TheChive) When Books Come to Life (SuperTremendous) Meet Sarah Jessica… Qadhafi? (FilmDrunk) Broken Lizard's Kevin Heffernan Talks Super Troopers 2 (Moviefone) 13 Best Movie Villains of the Decade (Pajiba) Lindsay Lohan is Very Naughty (CelebJihad) A List of Movies with Numbers in the Title (Unreality) A Robot Penguin That Pokes You (Asylum) Winter 2009 UCLA Undie Run Was Cold (BustedCoverage) Chinese Rocket Launches Past Airplane (RegretfulMorning) Easy Guy Meals (MadeMan) When is Danica's First Race? (AllLeftTurns)

Gary Busey’s Girlfriend Pregnant. Science Shudders.

Thursday, December 10 by

Busey On Board.You'd think he'd have had a court-ordered vasectomy by now but it is being reported that Gary Busey is going to be a dad again. This requires that Gary Busey be allowed near a vagina, but who would sign off on that? The actor/knife aficionado Busey, who once snorted cocaine off a dog's back, announced at the Crazy Heart premiere that his girlfriend Stephanie Sampson is carrying his child. So if you see Busey in the woods handing out cigars to wolves within the next nine months, be sure to congratulate the proud papa. (WENN)

holiday-cards

20 Weird Movie and TV Holiday Cards

Thursday, December 10 by

The holiday spirit is hidden somewhere in these greetings…

What’s On TV Tonight: Thursday, December 10th, 2009

Thursday, December 10 by

Tonight on TV, Zooey Deschanel throws her sister a bone.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘The Slammin’ Salmon’ Salmon Chowder Eating Contest Happened

Thursday, December 10 by

In an effort to promote their new movie, The Slammin' Salmon, the Broken Lizard gang held a salmon chowder eating contest at City Crab & Seafood in New York City. Gluton Bob Shoudt broke the Major League Eating capacity record after eating 2.4 gallons and more than 24 pounds of chowder in 6-minutes. A disgusted and bewildered Michael Clarke Duncan served as guest judge and the Broken Lizards were amateur coaches at the Major League Eating contest. Eater X, Badlands Booker, Crazy Legs Conti and Allen "Shredder" Goldstein competed along with amateur hopefuls. I threw up in my mouth. Never have I seen so much stewed oil, cream, and fish shoveled into an orifice. I hope everyone at this contest felt very bad about themselves after. The human body isn't meant to tolerate so much thick, white liquid. Hence the stomach pump. 

‘The Lovely Bones’ Actress Rachel Weisz

Thursday, December 10 by

Rachel Weisz starred in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. She's also won an Academy Award. Two facts that have nothing to do with one another. Thank God.  A word from Rachel: "People find out I'm an actress and I see that 'whore' look flicker across their eyes." Is that a real thing because I SWEAR I've seen that look in so many eyes and I thought I was just crazy! Damn this sixth sense is such a burden. See if Rachel's eyes flicker in the pics after the jump.

‘Tron Legacy’ Has a Poster and Cool Hair

Thursday, December 10 by

As this new poster for Tron Legacy declares, "the game has changed." But how? How has this game changed? Still looks all cyber-bikey to me. Is there cyber-lava now?? Or is it that the chicks are hotter this time around?Yes. That could be it. The girls are more attractive and, as you can see from the poster below, the perverts are just as Midwestern.

6 New ‘Avatar’ Clips

Thursday, December 10 by

Posted below are six new clips from a small indie movie called Avatar that comes out December 18th. Like most other bloggers, I refuse to watch them because I want to get the most out of my expensive-ass IMAX ticket. Plus I like wearing shades when I see movies. You know, so the stuff jumps out at you and stuff, like Captain EO. If you like to experience your epic action-adventure movies on a much smaller, 2D screen, then by all means click play below. 

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