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Should Will Smith Choose ‘Men in Black 3′, ‘The City That Sailed’, or Something Not Stupid?

Wednesday, March 24 by

Give it to him good, Hollywood.Will Smith is in quite the pickle. The megastar with a penchant for box office destruction has to choose between two projects that no one cares about. The first is Men in Black 3, a film that when it would finally be released would be about as much in demand as a banged up prostitute. The second is a fantasy-adventure entitled The City That Sailed which Variety describes as such:City that Sailed revolves around a New York street magician who is unhappily separated from his young daughter. The girl, who moves to London, finds magic candles that make her wishes comes true, with unintended consequences: The island of Manhattan separates from the continent and floats toward England, bringing her dad ever closer.So Smith kinda just has to wait around the entire film until Manhattan docks with London while his little b*tch daughter lights candles? This project is going to need David Copperfield riding in barechested on a Bengal Tiger to get my interest peaked.Oh David, I remember those days. When I took pictures of you with other people's children.

‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ Actress Lyndsy Fonseca

Wednesday, March 24 by

For someone who's only 23, Lyndsy Fonseca has accomplished a ton. She started out as a model, moved to soap operas, booked roles on primetime TV, and now is starring in Hot Tub Time Machine and Kick-Ass. If she wasn't so hot I might be irked that she spells her name with two "Ys." You're SOOOO clever, Lyndsy's parents.  A word from Lyndsy: "There is no such thing as bad publicity." Oh yeah? I bet being seen on my arm wouldn't do you any favors. Unless people assume you're doing charity work. Ouch, I just hurt my own feelings… There's nothing bad about the pics after the jump.

Release The Kraken!

Wednesday, March 24 by

Release The Kraken! – Watch more Funny VideosLiam Neeson's a persistent son of a bitch. (BuzzFeed)

Jamie Foxx Scripting ‘Laverne & Shirley’ Movie For Whatever Reason

Wednesday, March 24 by

Gary Marshall's Valentine's Day featured some bizarre on-screen unions, and now is causing one off-screen as well. I don't know how to better describe this news item than with a shrill "Say WHAAAAAAATTTTTTT???!!!!!" Jamie Foxx is scripting a modernized adaptation of "Laverne & Shirley" as a vehicle for sisters-from-another-mister Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel. I wouldn't mind seeing that sexy pair schlemiel one another's schlimazels if you know what I'm sayin' (note: I don't know what I'm sayin').Marshall tells TV Guide:“Jamie and I are trying to do it. He’s writing it. It’s a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley.”This is just great. I've been working on the gangsta version of "227" for quite some time and now everyone will think I'm ripping off Jamie Foxx's stupid urban "Laverne & Shirley." Now the world will never see Macy Gray cut a bitch while dressed as Jackée.

13 Terminally Typecast Actresses

Wednesday, March 24 by

On our last go-round on this subject,  I dealt with those unfortunate few male actors whose default setting was the most often seen in their films. If you happen to be a female in Hollywood, things don't look much better, and in many cases they probably look worse, because in the movie business, you're a hooker, a bitch, or a woman who needs a man to solve all her problems, and there's not much room for in between. So much so that even good actresses, ones who have proven themselves to have range and abilities beyond their usual fare, find themselves going back to the same old thing, time and again, whether it be romantic comedy (more than half the actresses on this list) or drama/action (the other half). So in a tribute to these brave women who have talent but choose not to use it for the sake of routine and easy satisfaction, Screen Junkies presents…. 13 Terminally Typecast Actresses

Olivia Munn Cut From Then Recast in ‘Iron Man 2′

Wednesday, March 24 by

Iron Man 2 director Jon Favreau was forced to leave Olivia Munn's cameo on the cutting room floor when the tone of the sequel shifted to become darker. Perhaps fearing the wrath of a million deflated nerdboners, he lovingly reinserted Munn into the film in a new mystery role. She tells Complex:You're in two gigantic movies this year. Let's talk about Iron Man 2 first because it's f*cking Iron Man 2. Olivia Munn: Actually, they just gave me another role in the film. I had to reshoot all of my scenes. Wait, didn't they start filming like last year or something? Olivia Munn: Yeah, but as they started to edit they realized it was becoming darker than what they'd expected and what my scenes had allowed for. My parts were lighthearted and comedic. Yikes. Olivia Munn: Jon Favreau called and was like, "I've got good news and bad news: This is what's happening in editing but we all really like you." Marvel and Jon had to add another character from the Marvel universe to keep me included. I need details! Tell us anything about the old or new role. Olivia Munn: I can't talk specifics because it's Iron Man 2! But when they call, you say, "OK, I'm there. What do you need?" You don't say, "Who is this Marvel? Did you call my agent? Is FIJI Water on set?" Everyone knows who the stars are in this movie. I'm not one of them and I understand the editing process. Some things don't work out. What if you'd stayed on the cutting room floor? Olivia Munn: I would've started crying.Sexy crying, of course. Which character from the Marvel universe will Munn portray? There have been rumors swirling that she would play Scarlet Witch or Iron Maiden for awhile now. More importantly, will it involve spandex or a leather bodysuit while sauntering in slow-motion to cock-rock? Knowing Favreau, yes.

Hitler Hears About Sandra Bullock’s Woes

Tuesday, March 23 by

Who would have thought The Fuhrer is such a big fan of Sandy's? (Vulture)Here are today's links. Movie Stars Most Likely to Get Naked (Moviefone) U.S. Pole Dance Champ Crowned (Asylum)Security to Keep Women from Tiger (PopEater)Relationship Translator (HolyTaco)Birdemic Director on Public Access TV (FilmDrunk)Superhero Fails Never Get Old (Unreality)Erin Andrews Shows Off Her Naughty Moves (TotalProSports)A Guide to Things Named "Ice" (Maxim)World's Best Butter Sculptures (Smosh)Miley Cyrus Pleasure a Leprechaun (CelebJihad)Duance Ludwig is Going to Be Out For a While (CagePotato)Top 5 Black Female Leading Roles (Pajiba)Evan and Gareth: Threeway (Atom)Best Drunk Food Recipes (MadeMan)Johnson and Busch: A Rivalry in the Making (AllLeftTurns)Epic Boobs Girl Found! (RegretfulMorning)

IFC Scoops Up All the Good Comedies

Tuesday, March 23 by

I was pretty vocal with my disappointment that David Cross's "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret" wouldn't air on American television. I mean, c'mon, those lucky Brits have the world on a string — awesome weather, those Jedward guys, and unsurpassed prevention of prostitute murder. Well, it was rumored before and now it's official. Beginning this fall, IFC will air David Cross's fish out of water comedy as well as two other very funny series. A TV version of The Onion News Network (Winter 2011) and the Kids in the Hall reunion series "Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town" (August 2010) have earned slots on the channel's schedule. Elsewhere, Comedy Central will be airing reruns of "Krod Mandoon" and "Naked Trucker & T-Bone's Show" ad nauseum. (Time)

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Lizzy Caplan

Tuesday, March 23 by

Best know for her roles in ‘Mean Girls’ and the fantastic ‘Party Down’.

‘Twilight Eclipse’ One-Sheet Isn’t Even Trying

Tuesday, March 23 by

The new one-sheet for Twilight: Eclipse just hit and the cast couldn't look more apathetic about it. I believe the point here is to convey that the actors Twihards cream over will also be in this film. The marketing gurus probably figured they could have given the characters assholes for eyes and it wouldn't make a difference at the box office.

‘Scream 4′ Gets a Release Date

Tuesday, March 23 by

I Googled "scream" and this came up.Dimension Films has confirmed that Scream 4 will go into production in Spring 2010 for an April 12th, 2011 release. Wes Craven will again direct, as initially suspected, and original Scream creator Kevin Williamson will write the script. Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and (unfortunately) David Arquette Cox will all be reprising their roles. I really hope David takes his character Dewey to full retard in this one. It doesn't make sense for him to scale back his own personality just for the sake of acting. (Variety)

No ‘Anchorman 2′ For You!

Tuesday, March 23 by

In 2004, Anchorman swept through theaters and supplied comedy nerds, Snorg Tees, and douchebags on MTV dating shows with catchphrases galore. Sadly, the unjust box office failure of Brüno has caused a catchphrase drought, one that won't be remedied by the Channel 4 news team apparently. After failing to reunite all the players for Anchorman 2, Will Ferrell is waving the white flag of surrender. He tells IMDB, "I thought we were doing it. Now I've heard it's going to be too hard to get everyone together."That's sad for the many fans of Anchorman, but totally understandable. Will Ferrell, Steve Carrell, Paul Rudd, and David Koechner are far too busy providing cameos in one another's movies to actually get together to film a movie.

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20 Poor Pugs in Movie Costumes

Tuesday, March 23 by

Why are pugs specifically so much fun to humiliate?Teen Wolf Pug Syriana Pug Tin Man Pug Arachnophobia Pug Spiderman Pug 

‘Popeye’ to Undergo Much Needed Reboot

Tuesday, March 23 by

Popeye wrestles with his demon.Move over, Stallone. Another aged strongman prone to using performance-enhancers is making his way back to theaters. Variety reports that Sony Pictures Animation will be releasing a computer animated Popeye in 3D. The storyline is being kept under wraps but producer Avi Arad has said it "will cover the themes of friendship, love, greed and life, and focus on human strengths and human frailties.” Hey, did he just steal the logline from The Room?This obviously follows the trend of other cartoon to film adaptations such as Garfield, The Smurfs, Underdog, Marmaduke, and Alvin and the Chipmunks. I only hope the sailorman sticks to eating spinach and not his own sh*t.

‘Rec 2′ Infesting Theaters This July?

Tuesday, March 23 by

With a shortage of movies about people running around and biting other people hitting screens this summer, it's very good news that Rec 2 may find its way to American theaters. Bloody Disgusting has reported that Magnolia Pictures is close to securing a July theatrical run for the gory sequel with Sony aiming to put it on DVD in October.This is of course the sequel to Rec, the shaky cam Spanish horror film that spawned the love-it-or-hate-it nearly shot for shot American remake Quarantine. Sony has announced that Quarantine 2's action will be set in a cordoned off airport as opposed to Rec 2's infested tenement. I'll definitely check it out this July. I only hope the subtitles count towards my summer reading. **adjusts ascot, straightens helmet**

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