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18 Awesome David Caruso Memes

Thursday, February 4 by

The master of the scene segue should take his sunglasses off for these memes. YEEAAAAH!!!

Jones and Statham Opening a ‘Snatch’ Bar

Thursday, February 4 by

Professional big British dude Vinnie Jones is interested in opening a chain of British pubs with fellow Redcoat Jason Statham. In fact, they've been talking about it for some time but their schedules have never let them a lot of time to dig in. Says Jones with rounded vowels:Jay has been working so much and so have I. The pubs will happen. We had a great spot right opposite the pier in Santa Monica. They just wanted too much rent. Me and Jay went to look at it and we had three other investors, all Brits. The mates discussed calling their chain "The Snatch Bar," which would be a decidedly disappointing place to hold a bachelor party. Rather than naked skanks and coeds, the place would be crawling with Australians. **slide whistle sound as erection deflates**This news will undoubtedly be a let down for 50 Cent, who has approached Jones about opening their own chain of English pubs. Jones however, was not interested. Either he felt it would work better in British hands or he and Fitty couldn't see eye-to-eye on the name "In Da Pub." (WENN)

‘Shutter Island’ Superbowl Spot

Thursday, February 4 by

Shutter Island Superbowl Spot – Watch more Funny VideosHere's an early leak of the Superbowl spot for Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island. This spot does away with the slow build we've seen in the others and jumps right into the psyche-bending action. It looks unlike anything Scorsese has done before and seems like it could be an entertaining winter film. It was also announced that there will be no TV spot for Iron Man 2 during this year's Superbowl. With that in mind, I'm not sure why Paramount would release this before the big game. It seems like it will have little competition. I guess their logic is to build a little additional buzz in the hopes that some extra eyes will see it. Either that or they're helping us all plan our pee breaks. If so, thanks!!

Demetri Martin & Sarah Silverman are Back-To-Back Like in a Porno!

Wednesday, February 3 by

Sarah Silverman/Demetri Martin Promo – Watch more Funny VideosYou get Sarah Silverman and Demetri Martin together in a vast empty room with only one stick of furniture to sit on and they're bound to think of something funny. Or you'd think that, but the above promo proves otherwise. At least the footage of the comedians' new seasons got me smiling. Come on, Sarah, you couldn't have at least ripped a juicy one? You KNOW it would have echoed. Or did the suits at the network put the kibosh on that?New Episodes of Important Things with Demetri Martin and The Sarah Silverman Program premiere back-to-back tomorrow at 10/9c on Comedy Central.These links premiere right now.Gallery: Saints Girls vs. Colts Girls (HolyTaco) How to Ruin Your Buddy's Manhood (TotalProSports)Most Razzie-Nominated Stars of All Time (Moviefone)Hurt Locker is a Game Changer Now Too (FilmDrunk)Gambling Enabler: UFC 109 (CagePotato)If the Ninja Turtles Really WERE Artists (Unreality)Christina Hendricks is Good at Fashion (Asylum)Maxim's Hottest Hand Bras (Maxim)Jennifer Aniston Wants Brad Back SO Bad (CelebJihad)Drunken Shenanigans (Pajiba)Conservative Phone Sex vs. Talking with Friends (Atom)Your Personal Guide to Manscaping (MadeMan)Carl Edwards Gets Raaaaw (AllLeftTurns)

Video Proof The Griswolds are Back!

Wednesday, February 3 by

The Griswolds are coming back to the screen! Even if it is just the small screen. We reported in October that a new National Lampoon's Vacation sequel is in the works, but a short film featuring the lovably dysfunctional family is a certainty. Below is just a teaser of what will premiere on HomeAway February 7th. I don't even care that Clark & Ellen are hocking vacation rental homes, they're together again and looking rather dapper. No word if interchangable children Rusty and Audrey will be in the short film, but my fingers are crossed that they somehow work Anthony Michael Hall in there. He already played opposite Chevy on NBC's Community, and I'd like to see Clark give him a few incoherent words of wisdom one last time. Check out The Griswolds teaser after the jump.

‘Cemetery Junction’ Trailer Needs Subtitles

Wednesday, February 3 by

Renowned Elmo tormentor Ricky Gervais has teamed again with his The Office/Extras co-creator Stephen Merchant to write and direct Cemetery Junction. And… and… honestly, I have no idea what it's about. I watched this trailer four times now and couldn't understand a word of it. Is that a real language that they're speaking? If so, is it called Chimney Sweep?? Here's what the studio claims it is about:Cemetery Junction, set in 1970s England, follows three blue-collar friends who spend their days joking, drinking and chasing girls. Freddie (Christian Cooke) wants to leave their working-class world, but cool, charismatic Bruce (Tom Hughes) and lovable loser Snork (Jack Doolan) are happy with life the way it is.Okay. That's what they claim. But to me this could just as easily be a movie about the formation of The Beatles. Or the Stones. Or Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders. I CAN'T F***ING TELL!! Watch the trailer after the jump, and please provide translation in the comments section.

CEMETERY JUNCTION

Wednesday, February 3 by

Directors: Ricky Gervais & Stephen MerchantCast: Ricky Gervais, Ralph Fiennes, Matthew Goode, Emily WatsonSynopsis: A 1970s-set comedy centered on three upstart professional men working at an insurance company.

THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM

Wednesday, February 3 by

Network: Comedy CentralCreators: Dan Harmon, Rob Schrab, Sarah SilvermanCast: Sarah Silverman, Laura Silverman, Brian Posehn, Steve Agee, Jay JohnstonSynopsis: Sarah Silverman stars as Sarah Silverman, an unemployed single woman who still behaves like a child.

‘MacGyver’ Creator Calls for C-Blocking of ‘MacGruber’

Wednesday, February 3 by

MacGyver creator Lee Zlotoff is not happy with SNL's big-screen parody of his guy-with-a-mullet-displaying-ingenuity-with-everyday-household-items-in-order-to-get-out-of-life-threatening-scrapes-at-the-last-second action series. Hollywood Reporter reports Hollywoodily, that he is preparing legal action against Relativity Media to block the April 23rd release of the butt and boob filled MacGruber. Some say that parody falls within the realm of fair use while Zlotoff feels like there is a big difference between a short sketch and a 90-minute film, especially while he is developing MacGyver for the big screen himself.Seems like an uphill battle, if only because nobody besides Lee Zlotoff wants to see a MacGyver movie. As he prepares his case, I hope he refers to 1991's controversial Top Gun v. Hot Shots! If you'll remember, the case was dismissed when a confused Lloyd Bridges shuffled around the courtroom while farting a melody eerily similar to "Who Let the Dogs Out." But it was the crap he took in the corner that angered the judge the most. (THR)

‘Dear John’ Actress Amanda Seyfried

Wednesday, February 3 by

Amanda Seyfried was the airhead member of "The Plastics" in Mean Girls, starred in Big Love and Jennifer's Body, and has freakishly large blue eyes. I find them slightly off-putting in a sexy way that I'm uncertain of.A word from Amanda: "Jeans are just so sexy, there's something about them that turns me on, you know?"If you're asking me if women wearing jeans is sexy, than yes, I get it. If you're asking me if I'd hump a pair of jeans without anyone filling them, than yes, I get it.More pics of Amanda not wearing jeans after the jump.

People Are Crazy: ‘Star Wars’ Characters Shill Japanese Tuna

Wednesday, February 3 by

It's a true fact that Japan's chief exports are crazy sh*t and tuna. This commercial for Hagoromo Tuna kills two birds with one stone. It's not the first time we've seen a foreign "homage" to Star Wars, but it is the first time we've seen the iconic characters pimp probably-not-dolphin-safe salads and hors d'oeuvres. A large part of our job here at Screen Junkies is to look at pictures of hot actresses (like KRISTEN BELL IN HER UNDERWEAR or SEXY PATRICIA De LEON BEING SEXY for instance), yet I can't take my eyes off C3PO's tight, little rear. Please let it be a chick under that costume. (Buzzfeed)

Mel Gibson Calls Reporter an Asshole

Wednesday, February 3 by

We have video proof of the racist pot calling the kettle black. In his interview with Dean Richards of Chicago's WGNtv, Mel Gibson doesn't approve of the reporter's probing questions regarding all that dispicable stuff he did. The drinking and swearing was sooooooo five years ago, Richards. At the end of the segment, Gibson throws a tiny dig in right before the feed cuts out. That's like pulling up next to a bicycle cop in your lowered Honda Accord and shouting "Pig!" before peeling out whilst cackling. Total burn, dude.

Paramount Wants a 3-D ‘Transformers 3′

Wednesday, February 3 by

Variety recently mentioned that there's a chance Transformers 3 may be filmed using 3D cameras. Paramount wants that but it may go against director Michael Bay's wishes. And you don't want to defy Michael Bay. He throws the best parties. He rents tigers, you guys.Bay has spoken out against 3D in the past believing that it won't gel well with his films. And I definitely agree. Megan Fox notwithstanding, why would I want his movies any closer to my face? The robots in Transformers were confusing, muddled masses of scrap which were all but impossible to distinguish between during fight scenes. It was like staring at a Magic Art poster with racist characters.Of course, that was Bay's stance before Avatar bent over and dogged the global box office. Maybe the money and studio pressure will change his mind but I urge the cash-loving suits to remember one thing: Michael Bay is an artist. Didn't you see his Victoria's Secret ad? (Variety)

‘LOST’ Questions You Demand Answers for in Song Form

Tuesday, February 2 by

LOST: Answers Song – Watch more Funny VideosIn honor of LOST premiering tonight, here's a song created by Benny & Rafi Fine laying out all the mysteries the show hasn't answered yet. I watched it and I can't remember half the sh*t it brings up. I've wasted five years of my life on LOST, and I look forward to wasting one more. I demand an answer for the polar bears. That island is simply too hot for them!Get these links in before the brain-wrinkling begins.25 Drunks Passed Out On Benches (HolyTaco) Oscar Nominations Snubs and Surprises (Moviefone) The Rip Torn/Norman Mailer Brawl (FilmDrunk) King Mo Lawal May Do an Elephant Entrance (CagePotato) 5 TV Characters We Should Hate But Love (Unreality) 5 Shows That Lost it in Their Final Season (Asylum) 21 Awesome Butter Sculptures (Maxim) Demi Lovato Lesbian Bikini Vacation (CelebJihad) 20 Worst Oscar Nominations of the Last 20 Years (Pajiba) These Guys Write The Super Bowl (Atom) 14 Things Scaring Off the Ladies (MadeMan) Hitler Reacts to NASCAR Rule Changes (AllLeftTurns) My GF is Banging Another Guy. WTF? (RegretfulMorning)

“The Situation” Wants to Trademark His Abs

Tuesday, February 2 by

"Yous is gonna have to bring up dis situation with mys attorneys."Another example of why the rest of the world hates America has been filed at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office today, and wouldn't you know it, it involves The Jersey Shore. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is so fond of his washboard abs that he's looking to get them trademarked. The application was filed by "The Situation's" older brother Marc "The Enabler" whose Las Vegas firm operates several porn websites. Of course that's what he does. OF COURSE.Another application has been filed by a man named Matthew Hunter who would like permission to stamp the moniker on t-shirts, underwear, track suits, and vagabond children. I'd like to just shout out a big thank you to all who are trying their damndest to proliferate stupidity. It's my only hope that Snooki jumps on the bandwagon and trademarks her amorphous bodytype. There has to be a pasta sauce company out there that's willing to take a chance on pint-sized guido. (SmokingGun)  

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