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‘Grown Ups’ Trailer Makes Us Nostalgic for Laughs

Friday, April 16 by

Rock and Spade watching playback. Last summer, Adam Sandler decided he wanted to take a New England vacation with his buddies and stare at Salma Hayek's cans all day. A film crew tagged along and now we have Grown Ups. The film assumes the very believable premise of five guys who were childhood friends but haven't seen one another since they were twelve years old, so they decide to get to know one another again thirty years later. This isn't very different from the teaser we already saw. They just made more room for pee jokes. The movie opens June 25th and stars SNL's cast circa 1992 with the notable busty additions of Salma and Kevin James. Watch Kevin James make a sissy after the jump.

Review: ‘Death at a Funeral’

Friday, April 16 by

Death at a Funeral R, 93m., 2010Cast: Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Zoe Saldana, James Marsden, Columbus Short, Regina King, Keith David, Peter Dinkaledge with Loretta Devine, Luke Wilson, Tracy Morgan…

Samuel L. Jackson & Kellan Lutz Playing ‘Deathgames’

Friday, April 16 by

"Thank you for coming to our pudding party."Continuing on his path of selecting films with terrible titles, Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to star in Deathgames, opposite Twilight and Elm Street's Kellan Lutz.Former visual effects supervisor Jonah Loop, will make his directorial debut with the modern gladiator film. In the story, Lutz is kidnapped and forced to battle in the arena for the entertainment of online spectators. Jackson runs the games, overseeing them from his lair with the help of twin ladies "who see to his every desire." Just like Steven Seagal. If Seagal were computer-literate.(THR)

Creepy Willy Wonka ‘Lost’ Promo

Thursday, April 15 by

I don't even care that this promo for "LOST" offers zero solid information about forthcoming events, it's got a Willy Wonka voiceover that made my butt hairs stand on end. The person who suggested sampling Gene Wilder's iconic speech should get a raise and a popsicle. Or a Push Pop if a raise is out of the question.25 Best Movie Remakes of All Time (Moviefone)Transform Your Ride Into Tom Selleck (Asylum)Steven Seagal Made Jenny McCarthy Cry (PopEater)25 Insane Book Covers (HolyTaco)Robocop Is Jesus (FilmDrunk)30 Hot Girls with Ripped Abs (TotalProSports)5 Stages of Owning a Pet (Maxim)12 Most Memorable Movie Billionaires (Unreality)Mike Whitehead Charged With Three Felonies (CagePotato)Gary Busey is Obama's Top Adviser (CelebJihad)Homeless Rap Genius (Smosh)Carla Gugino Will Show Her Boobs On TV (Pajiba)The Obamourage Goes All Nude (Atom)Ways to Beat Workout Boredom (MadeMan)When NASCAR and Rap Collide (AllLeftTurns)The Friend Zone (RegretfulMorning)

Darren Aronofsky and Rachel Weisz to Make Me Cry With ‘Jackie’

Thursday, April 15 by

Darren Aronofsky and his affianced are hellbent on giving America the frownies.The hot spec script Jackie, about the immediate days following President Kennedy’s assassination, is getting the big screen treatment with Academy-Award winning actress Rachel Weisz attached to play the late first lady. Weisz’s fiancee, director Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler), will direct and produce, along with his producing partner Scott Franklin and their Protozoa Pictures film company. Jackie catalogs the four days between JFK’s assassination and his burial, showing the beloved Jackie at both her most vulnerable and her most graceful. No deal is in place yet but it's expected to be soon. I can hear the manipulative music swelling and see the interspersment of actual funeral footage now. But I will not cry dammit. I will not. I just plan on thinking about something else.Thanks, Jackee. (EW)

‘Steven Seagal: Lawman’ Ordered to Hand Over Gun and Badge

Thursday, April 15 by

He always stands like this when he's proud of his jacket.So eery when life imitates art. After being forced to turn in his badge and gun in countless films, Steven Seagal has been ordered to do the same in reality TV life. The Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Station has halted production indefiitely of the A&E series "Steven Seagal: Lawman."Seagal became the center of controversy earlier this week when a former executive assistant (hired via Craigslist) accused the perspirant actor of treating her like a "sex toy" for the brief time she was in his employ. She also alleged "Mr. Seagal had been keeping two young female Russian 'Attendants' on staff who were available for his sexual needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."No one knows for sure how Seagal will react to this. But now that he's working outside of the justice system, it's likely that he'll team up with DMX to target and bring down the gang of murderous Rastafarians whose oil-drilling has been killing the Alaskan wilderness, with his unique brand of justice. Deadly justice. (TMZ)

‘The Perfect Game’ Actress Patricia Manterola

Thursday, April 15 by

Patricia Manterola sings, dances, acts, models, and radiates hotness. She has starred in the Mexican versions of "Charlie's Angels" and "Ugly Betty," and in HBO's "Arliss," getting much props for looking directly at Robert Wuhl. A word from Patricia: "I'd never experienced the production process."OMG, are you for reals?! It's like the beeeeeeeeeest process. We'll discuss over an English muffin.Check out more of Patricia the renaissance woman after the jump.

French Actress Cast as Mermaid in ‘Pirates of the Carribean 4′

Thursday, April 15 by

French Actress Astrid Berges-Frisby has been cast as Syrena The Hot Mermaid (not official title) in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Rob Marshall pretended they saw her foreign films La Fille du Puisatier and La Premiere Etoile and decided to give the young actress a shot in the ring with Johnny Depp. Also, she has real boobies.Ian McShane also stars in the fourth Pirates installment as the infamous Blackbeard, with Penelope Cruz playing his daughter. Do Spainiards and the French get along? Can we cause a rift in the countries' relationship? I'm all for world peace, but I would absolutely loooooove some on-set cat fight pics. (/Film)

Zac Efron is a Coke Mule in ‘Snabba Cash’ Remake

Thursday, April 15 by

Best known for playing the coolest, most athletic guy in school, Zac Efron is doing what most former big men on campus do — driving a taxi and getting into cocaine. He's also making a movie about it.Efron is attached to star in and produce a remake of “Snabba cash,” the hot Swedish property that was the subject of a heavy Hollywood bidding war and has just found a home with Warner Bros.“Snabba” is based on a novel by Jens Lapidus and was a major hit in its home country. The thriller followed three interconnected storylines involving drugs and organized crime, with the main character a young financial wizard who hopes to strike it rich quickly by becoming a runner for a coke dealer.This news proves that no one can outrun their destiny. Dogs will always chase cats and child actors will always get involved with cocaine dealers. It's Pheonix's Law. (THR)

10 Films Begging For a Sequel

Thursday, April 15 by

A sequel is a tricky, tricky mistress. Some films produce a sequel when no one in the general public actually wants a sequel, like Cheaper by the Dozen, Big Mama’s House, and all those Tim Allen Christmas movies. Other films roll out a sequel years later when you never expected them to. Flicks like Tron: Legacy, Wall Street 2, and Evening Star (the Terms of Endearment sequel for all you pansies out there). And yet, there are countless other movies that really need a sequel, but never get any second installment love. I decided to toss out a few movies that need to have a second outing – and give my thoughts on plot and casting while I'm at it. Point Break

‘Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ Teaser Poster Could Be Many Things

Thursday, April 15 by

The new teaser poster for The Sorcerer's Apprentice could be many things.It could be an image captured by an intrepid papparazzo who snuck up to a window at Nicolas Cage's house, only to find the star glaring back out at him.Two years after completing work on Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call, New Orleans, Nicolas Cage can't put down the pipe.He's borrowing jewelry from his son now.This is early concept art for his team-up with Bone Thugs n Harmony.Nicolas Cage will appear in any movie. All you have to do is ask.(via ComingSoon)

Interpreting ‘Twilight’

Wednesday, April 14 by

If those owls are made of poop then this is an accurate graphic.What the Internet sees.Chris Rock Eulogizes Tracy Morgan (Moviefone)10 Things You Should Never Say to a Call Girl (Asylum)Mel Gibson Leaving His Baby Mama (PopEater)25 Athlete Mugshots (HolyTaco)Bizarrely Metrosexual Shrek Photoshoot (FilmDrunk)8 Trippy Scenes in Non-Trippy Movies (Unreality)Just a Monkey Doing Non-Stop Pushups (TotalProSports)Hot Pics of Arianny Celeste (Maxim)Chael Sonnen Weighs in on Anderson Sllva (CagePotato)Kim Kardashian Flashes Her Useless Ass (CelebJihad)Live Bomb Removed from Guy's Head (Smosh)'Green Hornet' Will Be One Giant Ball of Suck (Pajiba)How to Save Some Cash for the Tax Man (Atom)7 Signs You're the Jerk in the Room (MadeMan)Kyle Goes to Walley World (AllLeftTurns)

Michael Bay Giving Us Only ‘One Way Out’

Wednesday, April 14 by

NO RULES!!!!!!Michael Bay is about to tackle a brand new subject: reality. The director will get a strangle-hold on the action-adventure reality series "One Way Out." It's being called "a game with no rules" and apparently also a game with no solid premise, as evidenced by Bay's description:"For my first television project I wanted to do something that had never been done before, and I believe that One Way Out accomplishes that. Combining unique twists, death-defying challenges, and stunning visuals, we are reinventing the genre, showing just how far people will go when they are stripped of their bare necessities and forced to do whatever it takes to survive."The man clearly woke up from a dream and wrote that down in his bitchin' idea pad. Clear it up a bit for us, press release writer:The reality adventure series will pit ordinary people from all walks of life against each other, creating extreme competition and deep allegiances. All players have secret pasts that must be kept hidden from their fellow competitors, setting the stage for an intense game of trust and betrayal. Players will be forced to adapt to and conquer new hostile environments each week, building towards a climactic showdown where all secrets are exposed and a shocking development revealed.Nope, still sounds like a hodgepodge of adverbs and buzz words. They should just call it "Michael Bay's Reality Show!" So much reality it's f*cking unreal!Magical Elves, the production company behind the hits "Top Chef" and "Project Runway" will hold Bay's hand through the process. Then he'll break their thumbs, kill the guards, and hop on his personal helicopter, because no one tells Michael Bay how the world really works. NO ONE. (Deadline)

Hayley Atwell Will Play Captain America’s Wifey

Wednesday, April 14 by

Well, now I look like a liar again. Awesome. Previous reports that Alice Eve was the front-runner to play Peggy Carter in Captain America were proved bunk today. The role will officially go to Hayley Atwell, a young British actress best known for her appearance in The Duchess and for accepting Marvel's small payday.Personally, I blame Captain America himself for all of the back and forth. His hesitancy to just hurry up and just pick a girlfriend lead to this. If he had followed my advice and agreed to have his own "Bachelor"-esque reality show, this would have been much easier on everyone.And we would have got to see Emily Blunt in a bikini. (THR)

Comedy Central Picks Up ‘Onion Sports Network’

Wednesday, April 14 by

Haha. Right in the nuts.Thank God. Now comedy nerds can go into a sports bar and enjoy 10 Cent Wing Night without fear of ridicule from the jocks. Comedy Central has ordered ten episodes of the sports-themed satire "Onion Sports Network," allowing nerds everywhere to bluff their way through sports conversations when, in truth, their sports knowledge is limited to the third act of Major League. A spin-off of the popular newspaper, website, and recently-announced TV show, "OSN" will target teams, athletes, fans, and ridiculous endorsements with "the same sharpness we've seen applied to the world of politics and popular culture." (THR) A taste of things to come, after the jump….

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