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Hugo Weaving Cast as ‘Captain America’ Nemesis

Friday, March 12 by

Without an actor currently set to portray Steve Rogers, Marvel at least has a nemesis cast to slapbox whoever eventually wins the role. Hugo Weaving is reportedly renting his iconic forehead to the makers of The First Avenger: Captain America. Joe Johnston has hired Weaving to portray the Red Skull, a nefarious character described as, "the most evil man who ever lived. The symbol of hate. The incarnation of torture. A bane to all those who would live free from tyranny. A major dick." The negotiation process is currently underway, but is said to be in a delicate stage. Joe Johnston can't imagine anyone else in the role. "C'mon. Look at that forehead," he commented. "We won't even need prosthetics. It's going to save us hours in the makeup chair." (THR)

Donkey Licks Puss in ‘Shrek 4′ Trailer

Friday, March 12 by

The new trailer for Shrek Forever After has hit, and it seems Dreamworks is kickin' it up a notch. Don't worry, it's still a kids' movie. I just try to find the most perverted part of everything and anything, and exploit it. I'm a big fan of the first Shrek, and even the second and third have their moments, but in Shrek Forever After I swear I can hear the staticy sound of crisp Benjamins passing over the mic as the cast counts their residuals. Far Away Land has grown tiresome, and the jokes about the fairy tale creatures we know and love fall flat. Will the Shrek series go out with a bang or a soft, wet fart? Find out May 21, 2010. Check out the donkey on cat action below.

Steven Spielberg Targeting ‘Robopocalypse’

Friday, March 12 by

This isn't a done deal yet but there's a lot of speculation that Steven Spielberg will choose Robopocalypse for his next directing gig. Based on an unpublished manuscript, Robopocalypse tells the story of humankind's struggle after the robot uprising. Cloverfield's Drew Goddard is on scripting duties. I'm picturing a mix of War of the Worlds and Schindler's List.Like I said, this is all industry insiders speculating so it could just as easily go away. What I do know is that you can't trust a machine. They could be anyone at anytime.(Deadline)

German Girl Tongues ‘Star Wars’ Figures

Thursday, March 11 by

This little German girl can identify Han Solo using only her tongue. Somewhere in the universe Princess Leia is seething.  Don't put these links in your mouth.iPod Nano 'Green Zone' Giveaway! (Moviefone)March Madness Bracketology (Asylum)Heidi Montag Fires Spencer, Hires Psychic (PopEater)Hot Gamer Chicks (HolyTaco)Corey Feldman Auditions for Cry Baby (FilmDrunk)100 Greatest Jewish Movie Moments (Heeb)15 Pokemon Brought to Life (Unreality)Mascot Eats ESPN's Michelle Beadle (TotalProSports)Hot Pics of Alice Eve (Maxim)7 Ways to Hook Up with a Leprechaun (Smosh)Emma Watson Shows Her Thighs to the Paparazzi (CelebJihad)Rachelle Leah to Return as Guest Octagon Girl (CagePotato)10 Most Anticipated Films of SXSW (Pajiba)Unicorns! (Atom)15 Things to Never Do with Your Girl (MadeMan)What Happens to All the Lug Nuts? (AllLeftTurns)7 of the Luckiest Men in America (RegretfulMorning)

Brett Ratner Invited to Work on Comedy Film

Thursday, March 11 by

Relativity Media has announced an upcoming project, currently titled Untitled Comedy, that is comprised of several short sketches directed by a wide array of directors. Those who have already completed their contributions for the expanding project are Peter Farrelly, Bob Odenkirk, Elizabeth Banks, Griffin Dunne, and well-known funnyman Brett Ratner, as well as additional directors who will be announced shortly.The project has also announced some big talent. Gerard Butler, Seann William Scott, Kate Winslet, Elizabeth Banks, Liev Schreiber, Chloe Moretz, Hugh Jackman, Naomi Watts, Patrick Warburton, Kieran Culkin, Johnny Knoxville are all on board so far. There are no details what the shorts are about but we do know they will be linked in some way. Producer Charles Wessler described the film:“We all sat down and came up with what we think is a hilarious through-line for the movie. Given the amount of pot I had smoked, at least I think it is hilarious.” Ah, a producer too stoned out of his gourd to clearly delineate what is and isn't hilarious. That explains the hiring of Brett Ratner. (CinemaBlend)

Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman Switching Bodies for ‘Change Up’

Thursday, March 11 by

From left to right: Jason Bateman, Andy Garcia, Ryan Reynolds, Ben Affleck…Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds are stepping into each other's skin for the David Dobkin directed comedy Change Up. From THR:Written by "Hangover" scribes Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, "Change-Up" is the latest entry into Hollywood's long line of body-switching movies. This one is a male-centric take on the genre, centering on a responsible family man (Bateman) who switches bodies with his best friend, a lazy man-child (Reynolds).Sooooo it's like The Odd Couple if Felix and Oscar switched bodies? Genius! I bet Bateman's character will wake up in Reynolds's messy apartment and be like totally, "WTF?!" He can't possibly cook a sensible breakfast with only Captain Crunch and used condoms.David Dobkin directed Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson to comedic gold in Wedding Crashers, but that was a fairly unique concept, not a shriveled-up rehash from the 80s. They may as well also work a talking dog in there to really round it out. I'm sure Joan Cusack is available. 

Conan O’Brien Announces Dates for His F*ck NBC! Tour

Thursday, March 11 by

When it was first announced that Conan O'Brien would embark on a live tour as a means around NBC's cock-blockery, my first thought was "Awesome!" Then my second thought was, "Don't bring your guitar. Don't bring your guitar. Don't bring your guitar." Today the giant comedian wrote on his Twitter:“Hey Internet: I’m headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music (GODDAMNIT-Ed.) tour. Go to http://TeamCoco.com for tix. I repeat: It’s half-assed.”We've got the full list of tour dates after the jump but I've got to say, I'm kind of disappointed. Tickets for the Radio City Music Hall dates cost between $44 and $84 BEFORE Ticketmaster rapes your wallet with hidden fees and bullsh*t additional charges. Conan's funny and all but if I want to see a Masturbating Bear, I can probably do so for free in the West Village. (Team Coco)FIND OUT WHEN CONAN'S COMING TO YOUR JERKWATER TOWN AFTER THE JUMP…

Christopher Walken is Collecting Human Hands

Thursday, March 11 by

He's being discreet about it.Not the most surprising of news, but Christopher Walken is now dabbling in the severed hand business. In Martin McDonagh's play A Behanding in Spokane, Walken is currently playing a psychotic one-handed man in pursuit of the appendage he lost 47 years earlier. Of course, the lines of reality and fiction have blurred for the actor, and when he would normally shout for more cowbell, he's now shouting for more hands.Walken is hoping the production will gift him with hands that he can keep in a special "souvenir" room he has set up in his house/dungeon. Not one person has seen the inside of this room and lived to tell about it. It was once believed that Natalie Wood accidently stumbled into it while looking for the bathroom, but she never revealed her findings. We all know how Walken took care of that… (Vulture)

‘Remember Me’ Actress Emilie De Ravin

Thursday, March 11 by

Emilie de Ravin is best known for her role as Claire on Lost, and saying "Chawwwliee" in a really annoying tone of voice. She's a sexy Aussie though, so she gets more slack from me than I usually reserve for people who yell words strangly.A word from Emilie: "If you are lucky enough to find the right friends and places to hang out on, there are fantastic pockets in L.A."Especially at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. The hookers are extremely cordial.You're lucky enough to get more pics after the jump.

‘Twilight Eclipse’ Trailer Needs More Ashley Greene

Thursday, March 11 by

I'm a little late to the Twilight game on account of my testicles, so I'm sure they've explained how vampires can walk in the sunlight without spontaneously combusting. But how can a red-haired vampire walk in the daylight? Everyone knows that sunshine is the leading cause of death in gingers. That's why I've never understood casting David Caruso in CSI: Miami. They must spend half the production budget on sunblock and the other on The Who royalties. What was this post about again? Oh yeah. Two super-powered, mumbly guys continue to fight over the tightest vagina in the Pacific Northwest while bombshell Ashley Greene somehow gets no attention. I understand that Twilight fans wish that they could be the Bella character so that the shirtless boys awkwardly pledge their love to them for a change. If that were the case, a more realistic line would be: “I’m gonna fight for you… until your heart stops beating… because of sleep apnea. Nice pit stains.” Check out the trailer after the jump.

Twilight Eclipse

Thursday, March 11 by

DIRECTOR: David SladeCAST: Kristen Stewart; Robert Pattinson; Taylor Lautner; Bryce Dallas HowardSYNOPSIS: Bella and Edward have been reunited, but their forbidden relationship is threatened to be torn apart again with an evil vampire still seeking her revenge. And Bella is forced to choose between her true love for Edward or her friendship with Jacob Black as the struggles between vampires and werewolves continues. But there is still another choice for Bella to make, mortality or immortality?

Leonardo Da Vinci: Action Hero

Thursday, March 11 by

Leonardo Da Vinci the Italian painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, botanist, and writer may be able to add another credit to his list of accolades — action hero. Due to the success of Sherlock Holmes, studios are buying up treatments that turn lieterary and historical figures into kick-butt do-gooders. Warner Bros has picked up a treatment called Leonardo da Vinci and the Soldiers of Forever, a re-imagining where Da Vinci is a member of a secret society who “falls headlong into a supernatural adventure that pits the man against Biblical demons in a story involving secret codes, lost civilizations, hidden fortresses and fallen angels.” Wow. And we all thought Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was retarded. Maybe this isn't a trend that we want to over-do. Kids are already bad at school and this will not help. But if we must continue down this path, can we please credit the man who did it first and did it best? Of course I'm talking about "Weird" Al Yankovic. The man is a visionary. (THR)

Russell Crowe Looks Pissed in New ‘Robin Hood’ Trailer

Wednesday, March 10 by

The new trailer for Robin Hood proves it's a tough business stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Robin from da Hood, played with convincing mean-face by Russell Crowe, trots his way into Nottingham and says, "Nuh uh" when he witnesses how a despotic sheriff is treating his peeps. So he does what any other man in tights with a bow and arrow would do: he finds other men in tights with bows and arrows and forms a merry gang. Together they fight a smooth-headed Mark Strong, a formidable foe as Sir Godfrey, as Robin from Da Hood tries to get in Maid Marian's (Cate Blanchett's) panties. All of this is a lot more epic and romantic than I'm describing it, but you get the gist. Look folks, Ridley Scott directed the damn thing. You know what to expect. My words can't do sweeping wide-shots justice. Check out the new trailer after the jump. Robin Hood storms into theaters May 14, 2010.

People Get Got by ‘The Grudge’ Girl

Wednesday, March 10 by

Hilarious The Grudge Prank – Watch more Funny VideosThe last guy pranked is a punkass b*tch.Don't let these links getchya.Remembering Corey Haim (Moviefone)70 Awesome Chuck Norris Facts (Asylum)Oscar's Kanye-Woman Speaks Out (PopEater)25 Visual Puns (HolyTaco)The Big Lebowski Morality Continuum (FilmDrunk)Five Awesome Oscar GIFs (Unreality)Can You Resist the Gina Carano Lip-Bite? (TotalProSports)Girls in Tubs (Maxim)11 Signs You Had Too Much to Drink Last Night (Smosh)Corey Feldman Found Alive (CelebJihad)Tips for Mastering Your Ultimate Fighter Audition (CagePotato)5 Actors Who Need Themselves an Oscar (Pajiba)Straight Cop, Gay Cop (Atom)Own a Jetpack (MadeMan)LOL Race Pics (AllLeftTurns)

Chill With the ‘Repo Men’ Red Band Trailer

Wednesday, March 10 by

Jude Law gets his organ worked on. A red band trailer for Repo Men has been released, and for a movie centered around organ removal, it doesn't disappoint. You get Jude Law removing organs, Forest Whitaker removing organs, and a team of doctors… removing organs! The only person who isn't reaching into an orifice is Liev Schrieber, the reason being his hands are perpetually unsterile. How Naomi Watts stands it, I'll never know. Check out the entrails-filled red band trailer after jump. Disclaimer: it's bloody.

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