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Tom Cruise’s Leaked ‘New Moon’ Audition

Wednesday, November 18 by

LEAKED: New Moon Auditions – Watch more Funny VideosC'mon Tom, you already played a vampire. Why you gotta weasle your way in to the current hottest Hollywood franchise? Help me help you click on these links. A User's Guide to Boob Terminology (HolyTaco) Kobe Bryant Hits Amazing Circus Shot (TotalProSports) Chicks + Cameras + Mirrors (TheChive) Travolta is an Idiot (FilmDrunk) Boldly Go Where No Bloopers Have Gone Before (SuperTremendous) Best Chick Flicks of All Time (Pajiba) 50 Cent and Michael Bay Bang Groupies (CelebJihad) Neil Patrick Harris's Very First Tweets (Unreality) 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Gamer Girl (Asylum) Anna Kournikova Ass Update: Still Tight (BustedCoverage) Little Girl Owned Hard by Door (RegretfulMorning) Least Safe Vehicle of the Year (MadeMan) Homestead Crash Videos (AllLeftTurns) Undercover Cop Gets Ass Kicked on City Bus (NothingToxic) The iPhone Affair (Atom)

Chinese ‘Blood Simple’ Remake Crazier Than Anything Werner Herzog Has Ever Done

Wednesday, November 18 by

We told you in July about Zhang Yimou's plan to remake Blood Simple. And in record time we have a trailer for the House of Flying Daggers director's take on the Coen Brother's classic. It seems like something may have been lost in translation.

Looks cuckoo-bananas to us Americans but this is business as usual for Asian audiences. To make matters far crazier, Yahoo also reports that this version will include 100% more rap than the original. They are reporting that Yimou himself has written a rap theme for the film and that he recently performed it on Chinese state television. So, an accomplished filmmaker has diverted from his career path to pursue rap at the risk of embarassing himself. Tread carefully Zhang Yimou. You don't want Joaquin Pheonix getting in your ass. (Yahoo)

What’s On TV Tonight: Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Wednesday, November 18 by

Tonight's TV has some big name guest stars. And Skeet Ulrich.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Kevin Smith Can’t Get Away with ‘Dick’

Wednesday, November 18 by

Censorship has struck again, and not even Kevin Smith can wield his mighty sword to defeat it. The TV networks are prudes and don't like dirty words in their adveeeertissments (I wrote it like a proper British person would say it), so Smith's new comedy is changing "Dicks" to "Cops" for a title of A Couple of Cops, and the result is not double-entendre-y.This is disappointing because the new title doesn't make me giggle, it makes me drool. Maybe it's because I sometimes stick my pen too far up my nose, or it could be that it's so boring my brain seizes up in an effort to comprehend such a generic transformation. Hey, all you old people watching NCIS! You gonna have a heart attack if you see "Dicks" come up on screen? No, the WORD! Ahhhh, I can't talk to you people. (CinemaBlend) 

‘New Moon’ Actress Nikki Reed

Wednesday, November 18 by

Nikki Reed wrote the screenplay for the movie Thirteen at fifteen. It would have been more impressive if she would have written it at thirteen, but whatever. I guuuuess it's still quite an accomplishment. Now Nikki is reprising her role of Rosalie in New Moon. At 21 years of age. A word from Nikki: "I had hoped that girls all over the world would relate to Thirteen." I'm sure all the slutty, druggy ones did. Courtney Love probably balled while watching that movie. Balled right into her mound of cocaine.  The pics after the jump will have you doing the opposite of balling.

Justin Theroux To Rewrite ‘Space Invaders’

Wednesday, November 18 by

Based off Hollywood's new obsession with optioning everything that has ever existed, I automatically assumed that the classic video game Space Invaders was making its way to the big screen. Thankfully I made an ass out of "me" and "umption." Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2 scribe Justin Theroux has been brought onboard to rewrite and possibly direct the Will Arnett-vehicle Space Invader. The movie tells the story of a space shuttle janitor who flies to the International Space Station to cock-block a hunky astronaut who has designs on his astronaut girlfriend.Never thought I'd see the day that I was thankful for a Harland Williams retread but with standards as low as they are these days, beggars can't be choosers.

12 Delicious Movie Theatre Munchies

Wednesday, November 18 by

J.J. Abrams Will Not Direct ‘Mission: Impossible IV’

Wednesday, November 18 by

Paramount Home Entertainment put on a huge bash at L.A.'s Griffith Observatory to celebrate the release of Star Trek on DVD and Blu-ray and Screen Junkies caught up with J.J. Abrams on the black carpet. When asked if he would return for another impossible mission with Tom Cruise, Abrams indicated that he will serve as producer but has another film he's helming that will interfere with him directing another Mission: Impossible.“The one I’m directing hopefully next year, I’m just in the early stages of that or middle of that, which is probably going to preclude my availability for doing Mission,” Abrams said. “Although I so love what the script is, what the story is. Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec are writing a script and they’re doing an amazing job so I’m already sort of envious of whoever ends up directing that movie.”Don't feel too bad J.J.. I'm sure there are people out there that are jealous of Felicity. Somewhere.

At Home with English – Part 1

Tuesday, November 17 by

This public access show out of Austin, TX was intended as an instructional video for non-English speakers. I speak English and find it confusing. And why is there a drunk man in his house?I link you to these links so you can be linked. 7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (HolyTaco) How To Destroy A National Anthem (TotalProSports) Jackasses Who Shave Their Eyebrows (TheChive) Twilight Fans Love Signs (FilmDrunk) 25 Funniest Kitten Photos (SuperTremendous) Movies about "The Last…" (Pajiba) What if Celebrities Were Fat (CelebJihad) Hooters Dad Goes Bust (Asylum) Sammy Sosa's Face Celebrates Birthday (BustedCoverage) Russian Guy Destroyed by Seesaw (RegretfulMorning) Foods That Slow Aging (MadeMan) Paul Medard, Your Destiny Awaits (AllLeftTurns)

Jeff Bridges Rides The Dusty Trail to Oscar Bait In ‘Crazy Heart’

Tuesday, November 17 by

Jeff Bridges may soon be able to wipe away the stigma of "Four Time Academy Award NOMINEE" from his title and add the coveted "Academy Award Winner." The trailer for Crazy Heart gives him a role as strong as Mickey Rourke's in The Wrestler, but replaces bright spandex with a good 'ol fashioned gee-tar. The Dude plays Bad Blake, a broke down country music singer looking to find salvation with the help of a journalist (instead of stripper this time) played by I-look-like-a-sad-turtle Maggie Gyllenhaal. As Blake and the turtle struggle down the road of redemption, they learn profound things about  each other and themselves, and it changes their perception of the future. Basically.Check out the trailer after the jump.

Crazy Heart

Tuesday, November 17 by

Director: Scott CooperCast: Jeff Bridges; Maggie Gyllenhaal; Robert Duvall; Colin FarrellSynopsis: Bad Blake (Jeff Bridges) is a broken-down, hard-living country music singer who's had way too many marriages, far too many years on the road and one too many drinks way too many times. And yet, Bad can’t help but reach for salvation with the help of Jean (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a journalist who discovers the real man behind the musician.

temp link dump

Tuesday, November 17 by

7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (HolyTaco)How To Destroy A National Anthem (TotalProSports)Jackasses Who Shave Their Eyebrows (TheChive)Twilight Fans Love Signs (FilmDrunk)25 Funniest Kitten Photos (SuperTremendous)

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Tuesday, November 17 by

After tonight's episode of Melrose Place, it will be perfectly acceptable to call Heather Locklear a bitch again.  CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Bob Saget Explores Strange Things for A&E Reality Series

Tuesday, November 17 by

A&E has just shook hands with the Devil and hired Bob Saget to host the show Bob Saget's Strange Days (working title). In the reality series, Saget will travel the country exploring strange American subcultures. Detroit isn't yet on the docket…But everything from mail order brides to a survivalist cult prepping for the end of the world is fair game. There's also mention of visiting a fraternity, which in the scheme of things doesn't seem all that interesting, but you know how Bob likes himself some young ladies. I bet he'll drink those frat boys under the table and then stick it to all their sorority girlfriends. You go, Danny Tanner. You go. (THR)

More ‘Spider-Man 4′ Bull-Hooey

Tuesday, November 17 by

I turned out to be right when I reported last week that Rachel McAdams was definitely cast as Black Cat in Spider-Man 4 maybe. Today comes word from the actress that it is nothing more than an Internet rumor:“That’s a total rumor, I have to say,” the actress, who will next be seen in the Dec. 25 action-adventure tentpole Sherlock Holmes, tells EW. “I was hanging out in Toronto the other day and someone came up to me and said, ‘I just heard you’re doing Spider-Man 4.' And I said, ‘Really? No one told me!’ It’s not true.” A rep for Sony Pictures concurs: “It’s an Internet rumor, as so many things are these days.”See? So I was totally right possibly. But wait! There's more vague rumors surrounding the picture. A casting call for an adorable red-headed toddler went out yesterday leading many to speculate that Mary Jane Watson will be a mommy in the sequel. Whether the kid has any relation to Peter Parker remains to be seen. Casting will be difficult. They want a child who has both red hair and is adorable? Good luck dudes.(Entertainment Weekly)

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