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Justin Theroux to Write and Direct ‘Zoolander 2′

Thursday, February 25 by

Finally, the douchebags on MTV's Next will have some fresh quotes from a popular movie that they try to pass off as their own. It's been announced that Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2 scribe Justin Theroux will write and direct a follow-up to Zoolander. In fact, Theroux is heading to Fashion Week in Paris to "immerse himself on what is current in fashion." He's absolutely NOT going for the wild parties, hot women, and mini-croissants stuffed with brie. Just in case you heard that was the real reason.Jonah Hill is in talks to play the villian and Owen Wilson will hopefully reprise his role as Hansel, though he has yet to commit. But Luke Wilson wanted me to mention that he's available, and will work for mini-croissants stuffed with anything. (Deadline Hollywood)

‘The Crazies’ Actress Radha Mitchell

Thursday, February 25 by

Radha Mitchell got her big Hollywood start in Pitch Black opposite Vin Diesel, and has been a rising star ever since. The only downside is she kind of owes her success to Vin Diesel, and you NEVER want to be in that guy's pocket. A word from Radha: "Any situation today could be a tragedy or a comedy, it just depends on the mood that you're in when you're experiencing it, and the mood of the storyteller who is telling it." I could tell you a story of a puppy massacre while I was still high off a drug fueld threeway with Bar Refaeli and a stranger and I bet you'd still think it was tragic. So there. The pics after the jump are guaranteed to put you in a good mood.

Conan O’Brien Hosts 140 Character Talk Show on Twitter

Thursday, February 25 by

Conan O'Brien is so hard up for social interaction that he's joined Twitter like the rest of us losers. Welcome to the club, Coco! As of right now, Conan has 272,791 followers, but by the time you realize Screen Junkies exists and actually read this post he could be inactive (dead). In the bio section of the Twitter verified account it states, "I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account." Oh how the mighty have fallen. But no worries, NBC will allow Conan to talk directly to humans again in September, and it seems Fox has an interest in providing him with a stage and broadcasting these interactions. Until then, follow Conan's Twitter here, and read more of his interviews with tiny woodland creatures. On Monday, you can watch Jay Leno on the show he stole back from Conan, that is if you're a sadomasocist. (HitFix)

Nic Cage and Ryan Reynolds Cast as Cavemen in ‘The Croods’

Thursday, February 25 by

Dreamworks has hired the voices of Nicolas Cage and Ryan Reynolds for an upcoming caveman comedy. The film was being developed at Aardman Animations with the name Crood Awakenings but is now simply called The Croods. Why change it? Both names conjure the image of diarrhea equally. Hey! Here's the plot: “An old school caveman must lead his family across a volatile prehistoric landscape in search of a new home. The outsized flora and fauna are challenge enough, but the real complication arises when the family is joined by an alarmingly modern caveman whose search for “tomorrow” is at odds with our hero’s reliance on the traditions of yesterday.” Cage will play the cave-dad while Reynolds voices the modern caveman who charms Cage's daughter. Sounds like a snake's oil salesman, if you ask me. Then again, snake's oil had a lot of practical uses back in those days, the main one being a lubricant. He had it all figured out, that snake's oil salesman. (Variety)

‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ Trailer

Thursday, February 25 by

As April 30th grows closer, New Line is beginning their full-on marketing push for Platinum Dunes re-imagining of A Nightmare on Elm Street. This week has given us an onslaught of promotion. By this point we've seen a teaser, behind-the-scenes footage, stills, and now this second trailer. The first trailer offered bits of Freddy's backstory and a glimpse of Jackie Earle Haley in the makeup. This time around we get a good look at the nightmare sequences themselves, though not that great of a look at Krueger. But from what we do see, I'd say he's a lot more terrifying than his days with the Fat Boys.

‘Showgirls 2′ Red Band Trailer is Porn Minus Penetration

Wednesday, February 24 by

Showgirls 2: The Return – Redband Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersMurder by dumbbell, tainted coke, nipples, and strobe filters. Showgirls 2 resembles the locker room at my local Bally's Fitness. Don't ask me why the janitor rapidly flicks the lights on and off in there. One second you're checking your weight, the next second you're the subject of a massive circle jerk.Someone willingly gave director Marc Vorlander $25 million dollars to film a sequel to the atrocious Showgirls and it appears he spent most of it on the retro 45-second title sequence at the end of the trailer. Wow, Vorlander directed this piece of sh*t?! I knew that guy in high school. He'd always flick the lights on and off in gym…wait a minute. Bally's janitor!   These links want a lap dance.The Most Racist Movies Ever (Moviefone)Creepy Batman Burlesque Show (Asylum)25 Sexy Snow Bunnies (HolyTaco)6 Ways to Get Lectured By Internet Commenters (Uproxx)Soccer Goalie Delivers Lethal Drop Kick (TotalProSports)10 Movies Where People's Heads Explode (Unreality)Pudzianowski's Next Opponent is a Fat Guy (CagePotato)Best Video Game Sports Reenactments (Maxim)Hot Alessandra Ambrosia Pics (CelebJihad)7 Best Buddy Cop Movies (Pajiba)Brangelina are Still Collecting Children (Atom) Sexy Spring Break Safety Tips (MadeMan)Danica and Dale Jr. at War (AllLeftTurns)

Mickey Rourke is Conan’s Papa

Wednesday, February 24 by

World's Greatest Dad.It was rumored some time ago that Mickey Rourke would portray Conan's dad in Marcus Nispel's upcoming Conan remake. The dealmaking fell through at the time but the producers likely sweetened the pot by offering a bag of sweetened pot (it's like kettle corn for your lungs). Now Rourke is close to signing on. As reported before Conan stars Fake Lenny Kravitz (with Leo Howard playing Lil' Conan) as he goes on a quest to avenge the slaughter of his people.This casting makes perfect sense. If Rourke were to have a child, there's no way that kid wouldn't grow up to have dreadlocks and a sword collection. (THR)

The Casting Shortlist for ‘Captain America’

Wednesday, February 24 by

Heat Vision has posted a list of seven actors believed to be screen testing this week and next for The First Avenger: Captain America. They are Michael Cassidy (Smallville), Patrick Flueger (The 4400), Mike Vogel (She's Out of My League), Scott Porter (Friday Night Lights), Chace Crawford (Gossip Girl), Garret Hedlund (Tron Legacy), and Jim "John Krasinski" from The Office.Okay, but who are the real choices? What? These are them? THESE are them?? These guys. Okay. Well, silly me. I thought you'd cast someone who could carry the film and it's eventual Avengers spin-off. That's my bad. Far be it from me to tell the director of The Wolfman and Jurassic Park III what he should do differently. (THR)

‘Cop Out’ Actress Michelle Trachtenberg

Wednesday, February 24 by

Michelle Trachtenberg was and always will be Harriet the Spy. She was hot then and she's hot now. No wait, it's okay I think she was hot then because the memories are from when I was younger. I don't think she was hot then anymore. …Only kinda. A word from Michelle: "Anything you throw at me, I'll try to tackle…wait, does that make sense?" No. The pics after the jump make ALL KINDS of sense.

“The Situation” Has Tainted Bar Refaeli

Wednesday, February 24 by

Let's pack it up, boys. No need to follow Bar Refaeli around town with our "seduction" kits any longer. We couldn't HAVE her before because leading man Leo DiCaprio is tappin' that ass (plus we're ugly), and now we don't WANT her because her vajayjay has touched the back of "The Situation's" self-tanner smeared neck.The ab extraordinaire must have sold the remains of his soul to the Devil in exchange for the opportunity to hoist Refaeli up on his shoulders. The vomit-inducing act was apparently a legit photoshoot for Interview Magazine, but something tells me it was "The Situation's" idea. When I asked DiCaprio how he felt about his girlfriend's crotch on a guido's neck, he responded:"Mama, I want hot dogs. I want hot dogs, Mama."  I questioned a DVD of What's Eating Gilbert Grape. (TMZ)

Road to Oscar: Rest of the Nominees

Wednesday, February 24 by

 

Jonah Hill Responsible for Children in ‘The Sitter’

Wednesday, February 24 by

Jonah Hill has signed on for The Sitter, a comedy that's being compared to Adventures in Babysitting or Charles in Charge with less coke on set. Like Jackie Chan before him, Hill will play a babysitter in charge of the well-being of three children. Though unlike Chan he will not have the secret side-profession of international spy. Let us hope that the family doesn't have a pet pig or duck or whatever Hollywood decides to give them to make the marketing more quirky. The evening goes awry when Hill brings the kids to a drug dealer's house while trying to score some blow so that he can get laid. So, that's how he does it!!David Gordon Green is in talks to take over the directing duties from The Wackness's Jonathan Levine, who is currently working on I'm With Cancer. Buzz is that the script is hilarious, but what attracted Hill to the project was the mention that his babysitter character would have full fridge privileges. (THR)

Second ‘Karate Kid’ Trailer Includes Its Own Fart Sound

Wednesday, February 24 by

 "I just go where they tell me to."The biggest problem I have with The Karate Kid remake isn't the casting or the performances but the premise. In the second trailer, we see Jaden Smith uprooted 11,000 miles away from home and forced to adjust to life on the rough and tumble streets of Beijing. I'm sorry but I refuse to believe that China is worse than Detroit. If you've ever been to Michigan, you know it looks like the aftermath of a zombie war. In China, the only real menace is subway overcrowding. All that withstanding, I can see this movie doing well. Jaden Smith's smugness is played down and Jackie Chan works as the grizzled mentor. Also, a monk threatens to bitchslap a cobra. The only thing that doesn't work for me are the "humorous" moments. I mean, c'mon. Is this a remake of The Karate Kid or Rush Hour 2? WATCH JACKIE CHAN BEAT CHILDREN AFTER THE JUMP…

Lars Von Trier Wants You to Visit Denmark

Tuesday, February 23 by

Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von TrierThe Onion got their hands on a few new Denmark tourism ads that director/cinematic sadist Lars Von Trier has been putting together. I'm sure more folks are inclined to visit now that they're aware of the banging club scene, but a pictorial on Willem Defoe's naked, flexed ass would have brought them in in droves.Take a magical trip through today's links.The Future of 3D in Cinema (Moviefone)Worst Real-Life Bosses (Asylum)25 Terrible Athletes (HolyTaco)Epic 80s Stripper Documentary (FilmDrunk)Naked Sled Racing Should be in the Olympics (TotalProSports)8 Best Hilarious Cameos in Comedies (Unreality)UFC Will Overcharge Fans in Movie Theaters (CagePotato)22 Awesome Things That Look Like Yoda (Maxim)Hilary Duff Thanks Her Fiancé with Her Mouth (CelebJihad)'Nightmare on Elm Street' Movie Poster (Pajiba)ICP Juggalo News (Atom)How To Make a Viral Video (MadeMan)Jimmie Johnson On Late Late Show (AllLeftTurns)6 Reasons Why You Didn't Get Laid Last Night (RegretfulMorning)

Coen Brothers Invite 13-Year-Old Girl into ‘True Grit’ Production Van

Tuesday, February 23 by

After casting a nationwide net, Joel and Ethan Coen have found an actress to portray the young protagonist in their True Grit remake. Thirteen-year old Hailee Steinfeld will be joining forces with Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon to hunt down Josh Brolin. Though Steinfeld isn't as popular as her co-stars, all of that is going to change. Her character, the fourteen-year old Mattie Ross, is described as a “simple, tough as nails, young woman in post-Civil War Arkansas. Her unusually steely nerves and straightforward manner are often surprising to those she meets. She possessed plenty of true grit and determination."Let's hope that Hailee Steinfeld is every bit as precocious as the character calls for. Remember, fourteen-year olds in Arkansas are considered mature for their age. They're at least mature enough to legally wed. (Deadline)

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