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Kevin Eubanks Is Out This Bitch

Wednesday, February 17 by

"If you come on my show, I'll pay you twice what Conan did to masturbate half as much."The most recent Late Night Wars have taken another casualty. Kevin Eubanks, The Tonight Show's snickering sweater-enthusiast and band leader, is reportedly leaving the show after the March 1st debut of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: The Squeakquel. According to Extra, Kevin "wanted a change" which is Hollywood-speak for "f*ck this sh*t." There's no word yet on what other opportunities Eubanks plans to pursue or how Leno will move forward without his only fan. Hootie and the Blowfish's Hootie Darius Rucker is rumored to be replacing. He'd better work on his Hibbert. Good move Jay. Now how are we supposed to know when you've told a joke? (Extra)

Road to Oscar: Best Actor Showdown

Wednesday, February 17 by

Last week we threw our Best Actress contenders into the Thunderdome where they battled with claw hammers and whaling harpoons for the honor of taking home a Shiny Gold Dude. …

‘Erector Set’ to Build Film Franchise

Wednesday, February 17 by

The days of making toys based off popular films are in the distant past due to the success of Transformers and GI Joe. Currently we have movies in production based upon Legos, Stretch Armstrong, View-Master, Battleship, Candyland, Barbie, Risk, Max Steele, Monopoly, and Bazooka Joe inexplicably. Feel free to lump another hastily decided upon toy-to-film adaptation onto that pile as it was announced that old timey plaything Erector Set will now be given the big screen treatment. Is it in 3D, you ask? Of course it is and I chide you for asking. As punishment, you have to buy stock in this movie. An independent film company has teamed up with Meccano Toy Company to build a franchise out of the antiquated toy. No plot details have been released because 'how?' Apparently Meccano has a CEO and his name is Michael Ingberg. He says, "It's perfect for a film franchise as it is certain to entertain but also stimulate creativity and imagination as the Erector toy system has done around the world for nearly a hundred years." There's no word which supermarket Inberg's office/vista cruiser is normally parked behind. (Coming Soon)

Edward and Jacob ‘Twilight’ Man-Pillows

Tuesday, February 16 by

No… No. NO. NO! NO!!!!!!! They've created half-man, half-pillow hybrid beasts called manllows! Even if you do want to rub your privates against Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, these THINGS are just freakish versions of them. But I guess a freakish, stroke-victim-faced version is all some disillusioned girls need. (FilmDrunk)Hilarious The Bachelor Recap For Fans/Non-Fans (NotZombies)Oscar Producers Tell Nominees to Shut Up (Moviefone)Improper Condom Fit is a Major Problem (Asylum)25 Awesome Guitars (HolyTaco)Team China Sexual Stretches at the Olympics (TotalProSports)Conquest MMA Model Cali-Luv (CagePotato)Live Avatar Role-Playing (Unreality)Video Game Vixens (Maxim)Selena Gomez Causes Lesbian Mob at the Mall (CelebJihad)The Best Female Action Heroes (Pajiba)One Nerd's Obsession with Megan Fox (Atom)The Daytona 500 In Pictures (AllLeftTurns)How to Party for Free in NYC (MadeMan)

Little Kid Cast as Pre-Barbarian Conan

Tuesday, February 16 by

Last month we reported that Fake Lenny Kravitz had won the role of the titular barbarian in Marcus Nispel's remake of Conan. Today comes word that the role of young Conan will be played by Fake Joey Lawrence. Child actor Leo Howard, who was seen on screens as a little ninja in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, will portray the miniature barbarian for the first reel of the movie. Congratulations to Leo. And I'm not just saying that because he harnesses the ability to kick me in the face. In fact, I'll give him my unlimited approval if he takes out Jaden Smith at the All Valley Karate Tournament.  (Latino Review)

Kick-Ass Set Visit: McLovin vs. Vaughn. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Tuesday, February 16 by

Empire has some behind-the-scenes footage from their Kick-Ass set visit. It's equal parts corny intro, needless information, British humor, tea with Kit-Kats in it, Christopher Mintz-Plasse talking about his genitals, and an awesome on-set blow-up between director and star. MATTHEW VAUGHN (in regards to Mintz-Plasse): Do you think this boy will ever not be known as McLovin? CHRISTOPHER MINTZ-PLASSE: Do I? Yeah. MATTHEW VAUGHN (laughing him off): Good answer. CHRISTOPHER MINTZ-PLASSE: You're a dick! Oh, McLovin. Looks like we've got another Gary Coleman on our hands. (via Empire) CHECK OUT THE PISS-TAKING AFTER THE JUMP…

Steven Seagal Asks Questions Later

Tuesday, February 16 by

Terrorists! The whole lot of 'em! I like how the one woman takes shelter behind the kid with the corn dog. Their young, soft flesh absorbs bullets well.Created by fearcondom from ytmnd.com. 

‘Shutter Island’ Actress Michelle Williams

Tuesday, February 16 by

Michelle Williams may always be the "other girl" from Dawson's Creek, but she earned herself an Oscar nomination for Brokeback Mountain and all Katie Holmes has is Tom Cruise and a washed brain. Maybe her performance in Shutter Island will give people something other to associate her with than a dead Heath Ledger. A word from Michelle: "Outside of the business during a dry spell, I scooped ice cream at a country fair, and I ate more than I sold."Becoming a fatty is no way to win auditions, Michelle. But bringing the casting director ice cream is… What a conundrum!The pics after the jump are very straight-forward.

‘Law Abiding Citizen’ Contest Winner!

Tuesday, February 16 by

And the winning caption is…This is a lot different without the wall with the hole in it.I guess we set ourselves up for that one. I thought our audience might take the high road, but I'm so glad they didn't.The winner will receive Law Abiding Citizen on Blu Ray and DVD, as well as a Duxiana travel pillow valued at over $100. You keep that pillow clean, ya hear?Thanks to everyone who posted on the Screen Junkies Facebook wall. You guys came up with some great/sick stuff. We're concerned about most of your mental conditions.Law Abiding Citizen is in stores today. The Blu Ray includes the theatrical cut and the unrated director's cut with 11 minutes of unseen footage. 

Marc Webb Meets with James Cameron to Discuss 3-D ‘Spider-Man’

Tuesday, February 16 by

All my ladies in the house with they real hair, who don't need welfare… Make some noise!!!Looks like the makers of Sony's Spider-Man reboot are taking steps to ensure they don't completely mess it all up. Avatar producer John Landau announced that Marc Webb met with alpha-director James Cameron last week to discuss shooting in 3D. However, talks broke down with an abrupt cold-cock when Webb asked Cameron if he was sad that he never got to make his Spider-Man. Just kidding. The playdate seemed to go well and both Cameron and Webb enjoyed a lolly after the two finished playing trucks.From Landau:"Last [week] we met the director of [the next 'Spider-Man' film]. [Webb] wants to do the next one in 3D, which they've announced that they want to do. So, we want to try to support that as much as possible."He then went on to address the films that don't do 3D correctly:"Clash of The Titans is coming out in 3D; they're converting it very hastily into 3D. I'm not in favor if that. If you want to shoot a 3D movie, shoot it in 3D."Daaaamn, Landau. Dems be fightin' words. Though, I'd have to agree with him on this. Dude knows what he's talking about. Yet I'm torn given his position on pterodactyl rape. (MTV)

10 Worst Oscar Best Pictures of All Time

Tuesday, February 16 by

As awards season heats up, I want to remind you not to take things so seriously. No matter what wins Best Picture, all the other nominees, and even the snubbed favorites, continue to exist. You’ll always be able to enjoy whatever movies you liked. In fact, years from now people might laugh at the Best Picture winner. I looked back over Oscar’s history and picked out some of the more dubious winners, certainly movies that wouldn’t be on any “Best of Anything” lists today.10) Ordinary People

Hugo Weaving Phones in Megatron Voice

Tuesday, February 16 by

You can excuse any actor on the set of a Transformers film of phoning it in for a paycheck but in the case of Hugo Weaving, that's exactly what he did. In fact, the voice of Megatron has never met director Michael Bay."Michael Bay talks to me on the phone. I've never met him. We were doing the voice for the second one and I still hadn't seen the first one. I still didn't really know who the characters were and I didn't know what anything was."Well, I saw the movies and I still don't really know who the characters are or what anything is. My hope for the sequel is that everyone (robots included) wear name tags. And speaking of the sequel, from Weaving:"Oh no. They're not making another Transformers, are they?"My sentiments exactly. (from The Age)

SJ Contest: Win ‘Law Abiding Citizen’ Blu Ray & Duxiana Travel Pillow!

Monday, February 15 by

Law Abiding Citizen is coming to Blu Ray and DVD next Tuesday, February 16th, and Screen Junkies is giving away a copy of the Blu Ray and DVD, and a Duxiana travel pillow valued at over $100! The Blu Ray includes the theatrical cut and the unrated director's cut with 11 minutes of unseen footage. That's right, you could watch Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler engage in an intense game of cat and mouse while lounging back on your Duxiana pillow and enjoying the snack of your choosing. If the viewing party is on a plane, make sure you tilt the seat waaaaaay back so as to infuriate the passenger directly behind you.All you have to do is post on the SJ Facebook fan page the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.If you're not already awesome and a fan of Screen Junkies on Facebook become one, post a caption, and you'll be entered to win. Click here to be whisked away to our Facebook page.Contest ends at 11:59pm on Monday, February 15th, and the winner will be announced on Tuesday, February 16th, via Facebook, Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like.  Do it for yourself, do it for revenge, do it because you've been using a balled up bath towel as a pillow. Just bring the funny.

Lightsaber Flashmob Keeps Hands, Loses Dignity

Monday, February 15 by

Lightsaber Flashmob – Watch more Funny VideosA lightsaber fight consisting of over 100 Star Wars fans who wish they were Jedis instead of salesmen/students/humans erupted at a shopping mall in Bristol, England this past weekend. No one was injured, but the potent smell of virginity will be thick in the air for weeks. (/Film)

International ‘Despicable Me’ Teaser Features Cyclops Reservoir Dogs

Monday, February 15 by

Gru and his yellow, midget cyclops minions strut to The George Baker Selection's "Little Green Bag" in the new international teaser for Despicable Me. Much like the first trailer, it sticks by its name and teases you like some prude high school cheerleader who loves having a slut rep. Only thing is, I'm not saluting, much like I would a sexy president (Got that President's Day mention in there! Boom!) The movie is about diabolical Gru trying to steal the moon, and his mushy-brained slug children helping him in that quest. Their odd appearance and funny dialect is most likely a result of inbreeding. I'm sure if they assimilated themselves in the U.K. they'd blend right in. That's right, I'm an ignorant American today. It's President's Day. These colors don't run! Check out the teaser after the jump. Despicable Me hits theaters July 9, 2010.

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