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Brad Pitt and Darren Aronofsky May Play Nice For ‘The Tiger’

Wednesday, May 12 by

After having wrestled free from the clutches of Hollywood's strongest cougar, Brad Pitt is eyeing another big cat. Variety reports that Pitt may finally team up with Darren Aronofsky for The Tiger. Don't believe me? F you:[The Tiger] takes place on the Siberian plain, where human development is encroaching on the tigers’ habitat — and one tiger turns on the intruders. With townspeople being tracked and hunted with an almost supernatural power, a conservationist game warden must face down the tiger. It is a fight that only one of them can win.This marks the third time that Brad Pitt and Darren Aronofsky have almost worked together. Pitt has previously dropped out of two Aronofsky projects, The Fountain and The Fighter. Aronofsky was salty about it in the past but it looks like he's willing to let bygones be bygones. Either that or he's trying to feed Brad Pitt to a tiger. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And by tigers.

Tim Burton Ushers In ‘Monsterpocalypse’

Wednesday, May 12 by

We're a step closer to seeing a 270-ft Helena Bonham Carter stomping her way through downtown Tokyo. Tim Burton is reportedly going kaiju with the news that he's being brought in as a "creative catalyst" for a movie based on the nerdy board game Monsterpocalypse. The game, for those of you who have touched boobs, features giant monster figurines that fight in a heavily-populated metropolis.I'm not sure how a creative catalyst works. Do they all just hang out and being around him somehow gets their juices going? Do they have to lick him like a hallucinogenic toad? I bet he tastes like candy corn. (Deadline)

Matt Damon Goes to Great Lengths For Ballerina Sex in ‘The Adjustment Bureau’ Trailer

Wednesday, May 12 by

Welcome to your hangover. The Adjustment Bureau is bringing Philip K. Dick back to the big screen, and in more of a Blade Runner way than a Paycheck way. Matt Damon plays an ambitious politician on the brink of winning a U.S. Senate seat when he meets ballet dancer Emily Blunt. Then sh*t gets unreal. Just as he's realizing he's falling for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. The motley crew known as The Adjustment Bureau is led by Roger Sterling of "Mad Men," and it's my asumption that when they're not determining people's fates they're aligning spines in their unstuffy chiropractic practice. It's the place right by the Baskin Robbins. Park on Oak though, there are never any spots on Main. Check out the trailer after the jump. The Adjustment Bureau has orchestrated its release for September 17, 2010.

‘V’ Actress Laura Vandervoort

Wednesday, May 12 by

After starring in The Lookout with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Laura Vandervoort landed the coveted role of Supergirl on "Smallville." She now stars in "V" and is currently praying it doesn't get cancelled.  A word from Laura: "Hollywood is something imagined."Actually it's not. I drove through it the other day. It's something littered with graffiti, Carl's Jr. wrappers, and charismatic bums. Check out more pics of Supergirl after the jump.

‘Daybreakers’ Caption Contest Winners!

Wednesday, May 12 by

And the winners are…"How deep do you think I can get it before he wakes up?""How could we have dropped garlic into his body during the operation?""They told me we would be dissecting FROGS in this class…""Could be worse. You could be at the end of a human centipede.""I've never seen a hairlip like this before."The winners will receive Daybreakers on their choice of either Blu Ray or DVD.Thanks to everyone who posted on the Screen Junkies Facebook wall. You guys came up with some great/sick stuff. We're concerned about most of your mental conditions.Daybreakers is available on Blu Ray and DVD today.

Batman Porn Parody Trailer 2

Wednesday, May 12 by

Doesn't the above image make you want to watch a porno? Apparently the Batman XXX Porno Parody succeeds by frightening the arousal into you. I bet you like that, don't you, sicko? We've seen adult entertainment parodies of The Big Lebowski, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," and "Dexter," and out of all of them I'd say Batman is at the bottom of my list of porns I have a mild curiosity in stealing from my dad. The "film" is directed by Alex Braun and distributed by Vivid. Take a gander at the second trailer for the Batman Porn Parody below. **Spinning dildo flies at screen, transitioning us to the next scene**

Van Damme and Lundgren Return to the Cyborg Well With ‘Universal Soldier 4′

Wednesday, May 12 by

Swallow your peas, Dolph! This one's for all the fellas out there that love bulging muscles up in their grill. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren will once again reignite their centuries old rivalry for Universal Soldier 4: 3D. John Hyams, who directed the previous film in the series, will return to show these guys which angles to punch one another at are best for camera.I would assume the project would go straight to DVD, but if that's the case why spend the money on 3D? Are they going to inflate DVD costs next? Or tax our eyeballs when this inevitably ends up on Spike TV?? Well, we won't stand for that. ATTICA! ATTICA!!! (Deadline)

Timothy Olyphant Subs For Sharlto Copley In ‘I Am Number Four’

Wednesday, May 12 by

Timothy Olyphant ("Justified," The Crazies, "Deadwood") has hopped on I Am Number Four after Sharlto Copley had to drop out to promote The A-Team. Which makes sense. You don't want to leave "Rampage" Jackson alone in a room full of reporters.Olyphant will be stepping into the role of "guardian and mentor" to Alex Pettyfer's alien refugee Number Four. I see no mention of this guardian being a kick-ass Southern lawman, but the casting of Timothy Olyphant would suggest that's the case. Must be a typo. (Variety)

Charlie From ‘Always Sunny’ May Star in ‘Horrible Bosses’

Wednesday, May 12 by

When I heard that Jennifer Aniston had signed on to star in Horrible Bosses, I assumed that the film was going to be a real hunk of crap. But when I heard that Charlie Day from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is in talks to sign on, I was forced to reconsider. Throw Jason Bateman into the mix, and this film about three friends who plot to kill their bosses seems a lot more interesting. Jason Bateman will play a man who believes his hard work will be rewarded but when he gets passed over for a promotion, he hits rock bottom. Charlie Day plays a hapless guy, always in the wrong place at the wrong time. A part still to be cast is a ladies’ man who is good at his job, but gets a rude awakening when his boss passes away and gets replaced. Word on "the street" is that Colin Farrell will be playing said ladies' man. I guess "the street" must read Collider.

George Romero Would Like to Try His Hand at Zombie Films

Tuesday, May 11 by

I don't want to beat a dead horse by making a "beating an undead horse" joke about Geroge Romero, but Jesus H. Christ! He's making it very hard not to.Although Romero's sixth zombie film, Survival of the Dead, hasn't even hit theaters yet, the legendary director is already talking about two more installments.In a recent interview, Romero said he would like to shoot the films back to back and that "returning for two more entries would feel like home to him."I'd like to point out that to experience something that "feels like home" you would actually have to leave home first. But at any rate, shooting the films back to back is probably a good idea, considering Romero is 70. If this goes on much longer, the undead films are going to need an undead director…because he'll be dead. Get it? Yeah you do. (First Showing)

Stop the Presses: Jennifer Aniston to Star in Romantic Comedy

Tuesday, May 11 by

Shocking news! Jennifer Aniston has decided to break the mold and step out of her comfort zone by taking on a role in a romantic comedy. Wanderlust, which was acquired by Universal Pictures, will be produced by Judd Apatow and will costar Apatow regular Paul Rudd. Aniston and Rudd will play a married couple trying to escape the trappings of the city life for a counterculture existence. Sounds amazing! As if one groundbreaking role wasn't enough, Aniston has also signed on to star in New Line Cinema's Horrible Bosses, which is no doubt a dark psychological thriller. Either that, or another sh*tty comedy. (Deadline)

Total Recall: The Musical

Tuesday, May 11 by

Quaid's woes are set to music in this rendition of Total Recall that surprisingly makes the film less weird. Though I can't imagine Paul Verhoeven being okay with this version. There aren't a pair of bare breasts in sight. (JonandAl)Cohaagen, give these people some links!Star Summer Comebacks (Moviefone)Is Miss USA Too Sexy? (Asylum)Six-Grade Gaga-Bieber Hybrid (PopEater)25 Sexy Hockey Fans (HolyTaco)Seacrest Wannabe Caught Plagiarizing (FilmDrunk)The Healing Power of Coke and Soft Pretzels (Unreality)15 Hot Volleyball Chicks (TotalProSports)6 Best and Worst Captains of All Time (Maxim)The Reem? (CagePotato)Lady Gaga Shows Off His Lady Bits (CelebJihad)25 Items Made of Legos (Smosh)5 Best Robert Downey Jr. Roles (Pajiba)Pube Rap (Atom)Drambuie Pursuit Scottish Adventure Race (MadeMan)NASCAR Hall of Fame Open for Business (AllLeftTurns)How You Feel After Fapping (RegretfulMorning)

Child’s Face Peed On In Freeze Frame From ‘Super 8′ Teaser

Tuesday, May 11 by

With Jamaroqui Jabar Abrams's Super 8 opening in theaters in little over 365 days from now, we're given precious time to pour over every small piece of marketing material obsessively. Let's get on that people! **dons jeweler's loupe** Our first clue comes to us in the form of the above picture, lifted from the newly-released high quality teaser. Just before the film's title appears, you can see the quick flash of a mysterious child's face. Much like in Three Men and a Baby or the rear window of Roman Polanski's van as it speeds away. Dissect this HD bitch after the jump…

‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Experiencing Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

Tuesday, May 11 by

The decision to split Twilight: Breaking Dawn into two movies is causing some money woes for Summit Entertainment. Or for the supporting cast, depending on your perspective. Professional erection and herection causers, Ashley Greene and Kellen Lutz are looking for bigger paydays now that their careers are beginnng to break out. They're all like, "F*ck you! Pay me!!" And Summit's all like, "No. YOU, f*ck you!!" Or something along those lines:"We may have a situation where one of them is thrown out on the street to make a point," says a source close to the dealmaking. There is precedent. After the success of the first film, Summit axed Rachelle Lefevre, who played Victoria, in part because her reps played hardball on money. (Bryce Dallas Howard got the job instead.)  But sources say the offers from Summit — which are said to be at least 10 times what the actors made on the first movie — were deemed "offensive" given the mega-money the franchise has generated.This is a tough call. One the one hand, yeah f*ck those guys. But on the other, they DO have abdominal muscles and I'm pretty sure that's what matters nowadays. That's why the American Gladiators are so well off and most artists die penniless. Honestly though, just replace him with Paul Walker. Same diff. (Yahoo)

‘Transformers 3′ To Be Not Unintentionally Racist

Tuesday, May 11 by

Michael Bay has confirmed on his message board that The Twins, Mudflap and Skids, from Revenge of the Fallen will not be perpetuating racial stereotypes in Transformers 3. In Hollywood that's what we call getting Jar Jar Binx'ed. It's Bay's goal to make the next Transformers installment relatively inoffensive, but take this with a grain of salt as Tyrese and Josh Duhamel still have scenes opposite one another. There's no telling what's next for The Twins. They've got all the right skillz for a dance flick or a rap career, they just need someone to take a chance on them. My instincts say they'll be relegated to the scrap pile though like so many other influential characters of the past.I'm still eagerly awaiting the next Max Headroom project that I fear may never come. (IESB)

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