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‘Animal Kingdom’ Trailer Will Teach You Family Values

Friday, March 26 by

Animal Kingdom, the repetitively-described Australian crime drama, was loved by all when it debuted at Sundance. That's to be expected when your film includes music from bands like Air Supply. If 1980's comedies have taught me anything, it's that Air Supply is huge in ski resorts and mountain towns. The movie tells the story of a family of criminals as they are descended upon and taken apart by a group of detectives when one of their own turns on them. Think of it as a dramatic take on The Goonies. Without the pirate ship and kids and deformities. Watch the full trailer to see what all the buzz is about after the jump…

‘Marmaduke’ Trailer Features a Straight-Nosed Owen Wilson

Friday, March 26 by

They're dogs…and they're dancing! If you like talking dogs and the above picture doesn't terrify you then the new trailer for Marmaduke might just be your cup of tea. The film features a ton of talent including Owen Wilson as Marmaduke, Lee Pace, Judy Greer, William H. Macy, Fergie, George Lopez, and Kiefer Sutherland. How is this the first time that Keifer Sutherland has played a Rottweiler? The man was practically born to voice that creature. …And drink. …And fight. He was born to voice a dog, drink, and fight. **cue Donald Sutherland facepalm** Hey kids, check out the Marmaduke trailer after the jump!

King of Cannes Jacques d’Azur Missing

Friday, March 26 by

Have You Seen This Dapper Man?Cannes 1962. Jacques d'Azur gives some lucky lady the bedroom eyes.Legend of Cannes and a god among men Jacques d'Azur is missing and your help is desperately needed. The French film producer/director/actor/tennis player/chess master/backgammon champion/waterskiing pioneer and full time bon-vivant known for his work on the red carpets, swimming pools, and silk sheets of the French Riviera hasn't been seen since last week. Needless to say, his extremely wealthy family is distraught.Multi-tasking is Jacques Multi-Tasking d'Azur's middle name.

Sarah Palin to Star in ‘Alaska’ Reality Show on TLC

Friday, March 26 by

That's right. The most popular Halloween costume of 2009 (and would-be vice-leader of the free world) is joining the esteemed ranks of reality television. TLC has landed the Sarah Palin's "Alaska" reality series. In the eight episode series, Palin will show us her Alaska as well as take us inside her home. But knowing TLC this is all just a launchpad for a series about competitive moose-eating contests. I know how they think.Discovery Communications edged out rival A&E Networks for the show, with the remaining question being which of its suite of channels would air the program. Discovery Channel is considered the flagship brand, and certainly a home for travelogues, though the company felt Palin's appeal was better suited toward mom-friendly TLC. The network is best known for "Jon & Kate Plus Eight," and also airs "Cake Boss," "Little People, Big World" and "American Chopper." (THR)Seeing how being dumb on television launched Jessica Simpson and Snooki into super-stardom, my prediciton is we'll either see Palin in the White House or shilling for Carl's Jr as a result of this. Maybe both.

Ginger Kid Responds to ‘South Park’

Thursday, March 25 by

Smart move, Kid. I'm sure South Park won't take advantage of this.These links are for Gingers and normal people alike. Watch The World's Best Prom Now (Moviefone)Facebook May Help Spread Syphilis (Asylum)Bar Refaeli Grateful She's Away from Leo (PopEater)25 Babies with Laser Eyes (HolyTaco)Seth Meyers Discusses Will Forte's Boner Ghost (FilmDrunk)Five Crazy Rubik's Cube Videos (Unreality)48 Pics of UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste (TotalProSports)Divas of WWE (Maxim)17 Best Keep Out Signs Ever (Smosh)Miley Cyrus Spring Cleavage Coming in Nicely (CelebJihad)Georges St. Pierre and Frank Mir Talk UFC 111 (CagePotato)7 Best Theme Songs from Current TV Shows (Pajiba)Gigabots 2 (Atom)6 Essential Beer Cocktails (MadeMan)NASCAR Bathroom Prank (AllLeftTurns)25 Best Bachelor Frog Memes (RegretfulMorning)

3D Movie Ticket Prices Rising

Thursday, March 25 by

Yeah, yeah, keep laughing asshole.Remember how you were complaining last Friday night about how ticket prices have gotten insanely expensive? Oh man…you are gonna be so mad about this news. Theater chains AMC, Regal, and Cinemark have decided to increase ticket prices for 3D shows an average of 20%.Before you get that look in your eye and a Louisville Slugger, you should know that the phenomenal success of Avatar and Alice in Wonderland is to blame. So when you're paying $20 for a seat in Clash of the Titans next weekend at AMC Loews Kips Bay don't wish bad tidings on the stout theater manager, but rather on yourself for going to see movies. You know, if you didn't like wearing silly glasses so much this wouldn't be an issue.Needless to say, we're going to have a lot of disappointed women on our hands when they realize that their dates can no longer afford an extravagent night out at the movies. Expect sexual bartering to rise by 20%. (Vulture)

SJ Contest: Win ‘Brothers’ on Blu Ray or DVD!

Thursday, March 25 by

Brothers is available on Blu Ray and DVD tomorrow, and Screen Junkies is giving away 5 copies! Watch the oddly similar looking Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal deliver intense performances in glorious HD right in your dingy living quarters.All you have to do is post on the SJ Facebook fan page the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.If you're not already awesome and a fan of Screen Junkies on Facebook then become one, post a caption, and you'll be entered to win. Click HERE to be whisked away to our Facebook page.Contest ends at 11:59pm on Friday, March 26, and the winner will be announced on Monday, March 29, via Facebook, Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like. Do it for Jake Gyllenhaal, do it for your country, do it because Natalie Portman is smokin' hot in HD. Just bring the funny.

Paul Anderson (the bad one) Directing ‘Buck Rogers’ in 3D

Thursday, March 25 by

"Whatch you computin' bout, Willis?!!"I have good news and bad news. Good news is that Paul Anderson is directing another movie. Bad news is that I'm referring to Paul W.S. Anderson, the Resident Evil and AvP director. Not Paul Thomas Anderson, the guy who did Boogie Nights and those other movies I'm supposed to understand and like when I hang out with my friends who read.Anderson (the bad one) is teaming up with Paradox Entertainment for a 3D version of the classic sci-fi Buck Rogers. The property previously had Frank Miller attached to direct until it was discovered that he doesn't know how to direct. I'm not sure why Anderson (the bad one) would be interested in telling this Silver Age story when most of his work leans toward the gritty and gothic but I'll be interested to see how he squeezes Slipknot onto the movie's soundtrack. In hindsight, I guess I didn't have good news at all. Sorry you guys. (Deadline)

Third ‘The Last Airbender’ Trailer is Airbendier

Thursday, March 25 by

If I had one criticism of Martin Scorsese's Kundun, it was due to the total lack of miniature monks bitch slapping their enemies with the elements. Luckily we have this trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender to pick up the slack. Good job, Marty. In this latest trailer, they lay out the plot of Star Wars. Which is nice of them but I've already seen that movie. But I guess this is a fantasy movie for the kids. The one's that haven't seen Harry Potter or Percy Jackson more specifically. You know, the popular kids. Witness Shyamalan's bid to redeem himself after the jump.

‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ Actress Collette Wolfe

Thursday, March 25 by

Collette Wolfe was studying sociology in North Carolina when she got a role in The Foot Fist Way. She married the film's director Jody Hill, starred in his next movie Observe and Report, and now she's on her way to comedy stardom. She's got the whole dumb, blond bimbo thing down pat in Hot Tub Time Machine.  A word from Collette:  "I remember breastfeeding. My mom may have had a perm during said breastfeeding."Your mom sounds like a hip breastfeeder. High five!See why breast milk does a body good after the jump.

‘Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’ Teaser

Thursday, March 25 by

The Scott Pilgrim vs. The World teaser is finally here, and it is marvelous, my darlings. Edgar Wright's kinetic style is abundently clear throughout every frame, split-screen, and smash cut. My only grievance is that Michael Cera can't seem to stop playing Michael Cera. He kicks serious ass in this film, but in between the comic strip infused action sequences Michael still shyly tries to grasp the concepts that Mary Elizabeth Winstead lays out for him. I'll be rooting for him all the same because God knows Chris Evans needs to be taken down a peg after securing Captain America, but I hope he erases the elipsies from his speech pattern by the end of the film, a.k.a. grows some balls. Check out the teaser below. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World SMASH! into theaters August 13, 2010.

Diablo Cody’s ‘Young Adult’ is For Serious, You Guys

Thursday, March 25 by

Mandate Pictures has optioned Diablo Cody's Young Adult which she describes as "pretty serious and f*cked up." I take that to mean that the characters won't refer to one another as home-skillet.The script is about a fiction writer who moves back to her hometown and begins to stalk her high school sweetheart, who is now married with a child. Here's Cody describing her motivation for the project:"You don’t get to see women be antiheroes that often, where it’s like somebody like Mickey Rourke, who gets a comeback in The Wrestler. It’s rarer that you’ll have a studio say, “Let’s have an actress come back and be ugly!”This is very true except for the Oscar contenders Monster, Frida, Boy's Don't Cry, Precious, Transamerica, and the, ummm, Kid's Choice Award-nominated Ugly Betty.On a side-note, why does Diablo Cody look like a completely different person everytime I see her? Is she a shape-shifter? I bet it's that she's a shape-shifter. (Vulture)

Brad Bird Is Top Choice to Direct ‘Mission: Impossible 4′

Thursday, March 25 by

Though he's never directed a live-action film, Brad Bird is the top choice to direct Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible 4. That's an inspired choice. Bird's animated works have shown off his flair for combining crazy action with touching characters. The Iron Giant and The Incredibles are instant classics and Ratatouille made me so afraid of germs on my food that I've lived a Howard Hughes existence ever since seeing it. Ever since seeing it. Ever since seeing it. *pees into milk bottle*Bird has been trying for quite some time to get disaster drama 1906 in front of cameras, but that has been bogged down with budgetary issues. Hopefully, he'll get M:I 4 and that will lead to bigger and better projects. I say give this guy the gig. There have been so many subpar action thrillers released in the last decade, it's time for a few more great ones. Our eyeballs deserve at least that much. (Heat Vision)

Bill Murray Tends Bar in Austin

Wednesday, March 24 by

Bill Murray attended the SXSW this past weekend and decided to stop by the 'ol watering hole Shangri-La. That of course wasn't enough for Murray, though, who took it upon himself to step behind the bar and attend to its patrons. Whether they liked it or not, they were served tequila shots, and I'm guessing more than a few now remember what it's like to forget EVERYTHING. Footage of Murray after the dude's intro. (Vulture)   These links go down reeeal smooth.Dueling Interviewers with Craig Robinson (Moviefone)Bush Gives Clinton Earthquake Cooties (Asylum)Jesse James Cheated with Another Busty Gal (PopEater)25 Shamed Drunks (HolyTaco)One Reason Shaq Should Make Movies Again (FilmDrunk)Star Wars Propaganda Posters (Unreality)Tiger's Frosted Hoes T-Shirt (TotalProSports)12 Crappiest Public Apologies (Maxim)15 Awful Thongs (Smosh)Kim Kardashian Bikini Pics May Have Been Faked (CelebJihad)Frank Mir Doesn't Go Anywhere Without a Gun (CagePotato)Remakes You Want to See (Pajiba)FriendBuddies (Atom)How to Cheat Better Than Jesse James (MadeMan)LOL Race Pics: Drink Responsibly (AllLeftTurns)

‘Despicable Me’ Trailer Counts as Annoying

Wednesday, March 24 by

The Despicable Me trailer gives me the frownies. If I had kids who made me play this repeatedly for them while they jump up and down and giggle, "Again, Daddy, again!", they'd be orphaned like the precocious tots in the story. But that's why I only bed menopausal women. Have fun parents!! At least now we see a semblance of the plot as Steve Carell's Gru and his minions strive to steal the moon, bash an adorable children's book about kittens drinking milk, and enact revenge on a smug carnie. It's about time someone knocked those gypsies down a few pegs. They think they're so great with their intimate Tilt-a-Whirl knowledge and methamphetamine addictions. Check out the Despicable Me trailer after the jump.

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