Mickey Rourke Wants a F*ckin’ Beer

Saturday, April 10 by

Mickey Rourke stars in this commercial where he's essentially playing his gruff self. He sits down at a hotel bar with his chihuahua, orders a beer, and the bartender has the balls to give him a non-alcoholic brand. The man must be suicidal. Who in their right mind tries to pull one over on Mickey Rourke when he would clearly have no qualms about using your eye socket as a bottle opener? If anyone knows when something's lacking alcohol, it's Rourke. (FilmDrunk)

Photobomb Fridays: ‘Goodfellas’ + Douchebags

Friday, April 9 by

Johnny "Fake Tan" Spinotti wore out his welcome on the first day. Here are your weekend links.10 Best Los Angeles Movies (Moviefone)Oregon Students Rickroll the Subway (Asylum)Charlie Sheen Denies Trying to Strongarm 'Men' (PopEater)25 Sexy 90s Stars (HolyTaco)Star Wars Burlesque Show Video (FilmDrunk)8 Awesome Tarantino Movie Trailer Mashups (Unreality)There Cheerleaders Love Penis (TotalProSports)Why Men Cry (Maxim)Exclusive" Bellator XIII Post-Fight Interviews (CagePotato)Sophie Monk Goes Swimming in a Cold Pool (CelebJihad)10 Horrible Haircuts (Smosh)Steve Carell Career Assessment (Pajiba)Tiger's Transgressions (Atom)Manly Packed Lunches (MadeMan)Subway Fresh Fit 600 Odds (AllLeftTurns)

‘The Losers’ Trailer, Now With More Banter

Friday, April 9 by

"I see you." If you're on the fence about The Losers, check out this extended trailer. But please ignore its attempts at glib humor. It's probably just nervous around you. The extended look begins with Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Zoe Saldana flirting the Whitney and Bobby way (closed-fist punches and motel room fires), and then jumps into an introduction to the rest of the team, despite the fact we met them already in Sneakers and The Italian Job. The action doesn't stack up to what we've seen of The A-Team or The Expendables, but it doesn't insult our intelligence by having a tank fight a jet in mid-air or giving Jet Li comedic dialogue. Plus, it shows you how to make a homemade rocket launcher. Who doesn't need one of those? Besides Whitney and Bobby. Sex, anal, and violence after the jump….

Quentin Tarantino Cruelly Waves ‘Vega Brothers’ Carrot Before Michael Madsen’s Nose

Friday, April 9 by

Michael Madsen is saying things again. According to the actor, Quentin Tarantino figured out a way to move forward with the Vega Brothers film that he's been hoping to do for years now. Originally envisioned as a prequel pairing Pulp Fiction bad-ass Vincent Vega and Reservoir Dogs bad-ass Vic Vega, the film would star both John Travolta and Madsen. Then Tarantino decided that the actors were too old (a polite way of saying swollen) to play younger versions of their memorable characters. Now Madsen says that QT has a way to set the film in modern day and work around the fact that both Vincent and Vic Vega are deceased. But how? “No, actually Quentin went down to Tijuana recently, and on his return he said that he came up with an idea that the movie didn’t have to be a prequel, that John and I could play each other's twin brothers."  “I’d be Vic Vega’s twin brother,” Madsen explained. “[Travolta would] be Vincent’s twin brother and we’re both on a flight from Los Angeles, having just been released from prison, and neither one of us know that we’re the twin brother of the other one and we’re both on our way back to LA to avenge the death of our brothers.” Now I've heard stories about Tijuana but… wow. Either Tarantino went down there for some serious mind expansion, or he fell asleep while watching  Big Business on cable. Just like the time he fell asleep watching Overboard. That's how we got Kill Bill, you know. (WAAF Boston via Cinematical) Watch Madsen's interview after the jump…

‘Date Night’ Actress Taraji P. Henson

Friday, April 9 by

Taraji P. Henson is best known for her role as pregnant prostitute Shug in Craig Brewer's Hustle & Flow and the foster mother of the gross Brad Pitt baby/old man in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. For the latter, she was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Personally, I found the hooker role more compelling.A word from Taraji: "Tyler Perry's method is very hard core, very in your face, not tiptoeing around."Does he do this all while dressed as Madea? If so, I can understand why you'd take him so seriously. More of Taraji in your face after the jump.

‘The Other Guys’ Trailer

Friday, April 9 by

The trailer for The Other Guys has dropped and it provides a great deal more context than the fancy schmancy motion poster did. Although a part of me is missing the "Ridin' Dirty" background music. Watch out, synopsis comin' atchya! Set in New York City, The Other Guys follows Detective Allen Gamble (Ferrell), a forensic accountant who’s more interested in paperwork than hitting the streets, and Detective Terry Hoitz (Wahlberg), who has been stuck with Allen as his partner ever since an embarrassing public incident with his quick trigger finger. Allen and Terry idolize the city’s top cops, Danson and Manzetti (Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson), but when an opportunity arises for the Other Guys to step up, things don’t quite go as planned.

Ashley Greene to Play in ‘Butter’

Friday, April 9 by

Ashley Greene enjoys butter so much she's signed on to co-star in a movie about it. The film centers on an Iowa woman (played by Jennifer Garner) who attempts to win a butter-carving title formerly held by her husband (Ty Burrell), only to be thwarted by a young black girl (Yara Ahahidi). Wait, where's the part about Greene slathered in hydrogenated oil? This has been one big tease!  Greene will play a rebellious high schooler named Kaitlen Pickler in the film directed by Jim Field Smith, who also directed hottie Alice Eve in She's Out of My League. Just a suggestion, but a movie starring Ashley Greene, Alice Eve, butter, and absolutely no premise sounds like box office gold. Mainly because I would personally see it 250,000,000 times. (THR)

‘Sex and the City 2′ Trailer Needs a Few ‘Hurt Locker’ Moments

Friday, April 9 by

This trailer for Golden Girls Origins Sex and the City 2 has reunited everyone's favorite assholes and relocated them to the Lipstick Desert. When the plot picks up, the ladies are bored with marriage/kids/cougarism and decide to take a group vacation to Abu Dhabi. My big question is 'Why?' Why would anyone go to Abu Dhabi?? Isn't that the place where cartoon characters ship their annoying counterparts after convincing them to climb into wooden crates? Oh, you know what. I now see the logic. Watch the faaabulousssss trailer after the jump…

Steven Spielberg and Discovery Channel Team for ‘Future Earth’

Friday, April 9 by

Spielberg brings his "A" game to every project. Even upskirt videos.A press release from The Discovery Channel announced they are working with Steven Spielberg and Dreamworks Television to develop a new mini-series titled, "Future Earth". In a similar vain as "Planet Earth" and "Life", the series will examine the world of the future to show us how Earth is expected to evolve over the next  25, 50, and 100 years. Spielberg will personally oversee the project. It's yet to be determined if the impending robot uprising will be factored in."We're quite excited to bring our brand of sassy yet dead-in-the-eyes character animation to this revolutionary project," said Jeffrey Katzenberg, Chief Executive Officer of Dreamworks Animation.Although the future may bring prosperous advances to the worlds of technology and medicine, one area that will suffer is fashion. According to leading futurists, hammer pants are expected to make a huge comeback. Weird, I know. (The Futon Critic)

Here’s a Music Video with Two Hot Girls Making Out

Thursday, April 8 by

The song is called "I Can Hardly Wait" by Complicated Universal Cum. What's that, you don't care? But I have a really funny joke about the band's name. Fine, watch the lesbians while I mope. (BuzzFeed)Bring your gaze over here for a minute. I have links.10 Most Over-Used Movie Catchphrases (Moviefone)HP's Answer to the iPad (Asylum)Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Parodies (PopEater)25 Awesome Haircuts (HolyTaco)Arrested Development Movie Probably Not Happening (FilmDrunk)10 Random Singing Scenes in Movies (Unreality)Meet Tiger Woods' Girl-Next-Door Mistress (TotalProSports)UFC's Arianny Celeste Photo Shoot (Maxim)Rich Attonito's Guest Blog: Ep 2 (CagePotato)Leighton Meester Shows Her Ass on Gossip Girl (CelebJihad)Freakiest Virtual Reality Devices Ever (Smosh)Dos and Don'ts of Masturbation in Cinema (Pajiba)Todd Willis Discusses Smoking Crack (Atom)How to Choose a Cologne (MadeMan)The Formula 1 Guitarist (AllLeftTurns)24 White Trash Gaming Rigs (RegretfulMorning)

Nicolas Cage Loses One of His Mansions

Thursday, April 8 by

Awww, frowny face. Tragedy has struck in Hollywood. Nicolas Cage has lost another of his fabulous homes to a foreclosing lender.The opening bid for the actor's 12,000-square-foot home was $10.4 million, but there are $18 million worth of loans on the property. The Tudor mansion boasts six bedrooms, a central tower, home theater and an Olympic-sized pool. The house reverted to the foreclosing lender at Wednesday's auction in Pomona. Even though he's one of Hollywood's highest-paid stars, Cage has money troubles. He owes millions in unpaid taxes and in January his foreclosed home in Las Vegas sold for nearly $5 million.How very devastating. Why do bad things always happen to weird people who drop millions of dollars on dinosaur skulls? It really is a shame though. Dude had to wear A LOT of silly wigs to be able to afford those homes. (LA Times)

Bidding War Breaks Out Over Short Film ‘The Gift’

Thursday, April 8 by

Don't drink and drive, Drunk-Rupert-Everett-Servant-Robot. Since District 9 struck box office gold without the use of 3D, Hollywood has been eager to buy up and adapt enticing sci-fi shorts. So it's no surprise that a bidding war has broken out over commercial director Carl Erik Rinsch's The Gift, a look at a futuristic, dystopian Moscow where a robo-butler is hunted down for a box containing either miniature unicorns or rare Lisa Frank stickers. That outcome all depends on how literal Russian-version of Ricky Jay was being. From THR: On Wednesday, the day the short came out, a bidding war broke out between several studios — longtime rivals Warner Bros. and Fox are in the mix, according to sources — who see feature potential in the short. Some speculate the project will end up at Fox, because Rinsch is part of the stable of RSA, Ridley Scott's commercial house that produced the short, and Scott's longtime association with Fox. Rinsch was actually originally attached to the Alien prequel but was later ousted so papa bear Ridley Scott could take the wheel. Maybe Ridley will throw Rinsch his long-gestating Monopoly project. I'd love to see his gritty commentary on the stark living conditions of St. James Place and its neighboring prison.Check out the short after the jump. WARNING: Eligible viewers must pass a saliva scan…

Aziz Ansari to Deliver in ’30 Minutes or Less’

Thursday, April 8 by

The director of Zombieland, Ruben Fleischer, is doing a movie about pizza and Aziz Ansari is in negotiations to star. 30 Minutes or Less follows an aimless delivery man who is forced to rob a bank by two goons who strap a bomb to his chest. Ansari would play the poor sap's straight-man buddy, on hand to recommend deep breaths and "stepping back and looking at the situation from a different perspective." So my headline doesn't make complete sense. Sue me. (Don't sue me).  Seeing Ansari in a straight-man role would definitely be a change of pace for the actor. Not that he's a Jim Carrey type, but Ansari has been known to expend physical energy on stage, especially when discussing Coldstone Creamery. Danny McBride is rumored to play the unfortunate pizza pusher, which would set up a nice dynamic. I can already hear McBride putting his unique North Carolina twang on an Indian racial slur. (THR)

‘The Vampire Diaries’ Actress Kayla Ewell

Thursday, April 8 by

Kayla Ewell is known for her roles as Caitlin Ramirez on the long-running soap opera "The Bold and the Beautiful," and Maureen Sampson on "Freaks and Geeks." If you work for a living you're probably not aware of the former. If you like awesome television you should know the latter.  A word from Kayla: "I’m OK with blood, but walking around and talking on your cell phone with a giant gash in your neck—I’m going to have to get used to that."I don't think you ever really get used to that. You just bleed out. Check out a very much intact Kayla after the jump.

Alice Eve In Lead to Be Captain America’s Wifey

Thursday, April 8 by

With the news that Emily Blunt told Marvel they could cram their Peggy Carter role up their puckering crap-crave (I'm paraphrasing), we were left with Keira Knightley and Alice Eve in the running to play Captain America's leading lady. E! reports that Knightley told Marvel to squat on a pineapple (paraphrasing again), which means that She's Out of My League's Eve is the frontrunner for the role.Or once again, one of the frontrunners for the role rather. It was also announced that British actress Hayley Atwell is now up for the part. Damn it, people making Captain America. Just pick already. The sooner you finish casting, the sooner we can laugh at Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their ridiculous spandex costumes. (Eats Easy Mac with air of superiority, spills on Pokemon shirt).