David Fincher to Direct Jules Verne’s ‘Fight Sub’

Sunday, May 16 by

The first rule of Fight Sub: you don't let McG direct Fight Sub.Director David Fincher is in talks with Disney to direct a remake of Jules Verne’s classic submarine adventure, 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea. Fincher is attempting to resurrect the project first helmed by McG, the famed auteur behind Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and Korn: Who Then Now?Disney reportedly dropped McG from the project because they believed his take on the film was too dark. If you're looking for more light-hearted fare, Fincher is the obvious choice. I'm sure the scene where Captain Nemo finds his wife's severed head in a box will be a real knee slapper. (EmpireOnLine)

Photobomb Friday: ‘From Here to Eternity’ + Beached Whale

Friday, May 14 by

Get a room, you two.Here are your weekend linksHugh Hefner and Joan Rivers Vs. Best Worst Movie (Moviefone)Masterclash Takes On Bad TV (Asylum)Oprah to Tom Cruise: Sit Your Ass Down (Popeater)25 Sad Cleveland Fans (Holy Taco)Hard Ticket To Hawaii Keeps On Giving (Film Drunk)Cleveland Serenades LeBron (Total Pro Sports)Maxim's Hottest Hand Bras (Maxim)Dan Quinn Gives Advice to Jesse James (Cage Potato)Jessica Alba Shows Butt Crack, Enjoys Anal (CelebJihad)Iron Man Vs. Kool-Aid Man (Smosh)Robin Hood Is Not A Very Fun Movie (Pajiba)A Montage of Manliness (Atom)Live In the Original Playboy Mansion (MadeMan)Victory Lane Girls (All Left Turns)

‘Iron Sky’ Teaser Reminds Us Of Those Nazis That Have Been Living On the Moon

Friday, May 14 by

Oh no. Those Nazis that live on the moon that we've all forgotten exist are coming home to roost. In this teaser for the fan-made sci-fi comedy Iron Sky, exiled Nazis attack Earth from their secret moon location but get more than they bargained for when we strike back. PLANET EARTH! PLANET EARTH!The film remains in production as it still seeks funding. I guess "Nazis who live on the moon launch an assault, but it's funny" isn't the strongest pitch that studios have heard.I completely understand why Nazis would be compelled to shape their moon base like a swastika, but it's an incredibly flawed building design. Must be a real bitch to get from one end to the other. It looks almost as inconvenient as the airport in Atlanta.Check out those sneaky Space Nazis after the jump…

‘I Hate Muffins’ Montage

Friday, May 14 by

In all the excitement to lampoon "Get Out of There!" and mirror scares, we nearly overlooked Hollywood's commonly overused cliche. via Gorilla Mask

NBC Cancels ‘Law & Order’ Before Its Time

Friday, May 14 by

The Unemployment Line."Law & Order" creator Dick Wolf is reportedly furious, and not just because his parents named him poorly. NBC dramatically cut Wolf's throat today along with the grocery budgets of struggling New York actors by issuing the shocking announcement they are canceling the flagship show.NBC had promised Wolf they would bring the show back for a final season so that it could claim the longest-running primetime-drama pimpcup from "Gunsmoke," but plans changed when talks between NBC and would-be co-financier TNT fell flat. And then things got worse:That's when NBC threw its agreement with Wolf out the window and demanded Wolf kick in to help "finance the pickup of Law & Order out of all the money he's made. And his reps said, 'Never going to happen'," according to an insider. Another source explained the situation: "Graboff broke off the negotiations last night when they fell apart based on Team Dick's unwillingness to make certain deal concessions deemed unreasonable."Wow. That would be like your boss firing you but allowing you to stay on staff if you agreed to pay your own salary. They have a word for that in business school: balls.

Lake Bell Is A Friend With Benefits

Friday, May 14 by

We've held off reporting about Friends With Benefits up until now because the thought of Ashton Kutcher in a no-strings-attached sexual relationship with Natalie Portman makes our parts wither. Sadly, we've been put into a position where we would be remiss if we continued the embargo.Ivan Reitman has begun to wisely throw hottie after hottie at the project, and today there's news that the ridiculously sexy Lake Bell has joined the cast as Kutcher's co-worker. Olivia Thirlby and Greta Gerwig have also recently become attached. Great. Ashton Kutcher surrounded by hot women. Is this a movie-version of those camera commercials he's been doing? (Variety)

‘Solitary Man’ Actress Mary Louise Parker

Friday, May 14 by

After moving to NY to pursue acting, Mary Louise Parker got a job measuring feet at a shoe store. It was all downhill from there. She starred in a movie about old women named Fried Green Tomatoes, and movie about middle-aged women named Boys on the Side, and a show about selling ganja named "Weeds." She won an Emmy for the latter, but it ain't no feet measurin', that's for sure. A word from Mary Louise: "Oh, I just hate having to polish all of these awards!"Tell me about. My capoeta trophies are so tarnished it's an embarrassment when I'm entertaining company. More pics of the weed-selling MILF after the jump.

Charlie Kaufman Punched Up ‘Kung Fu Panda’ Sequel

Friday, May 14 by

"F*ck it."Residents of the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn should be prepared to see Kung Fu Panda: The Kaboom of Doom popping up on their Netflix Local Favorites. It's been revealed that Charlie Kaufman was brought in to fix up the animated flick's script. That's right. The man who wrote Adaptation also took a gig on a movie about a kung fu kicking panda. If you listen closely, you can hear Robert McKee laughing his nuts off.It's not uncommon for several writers to pitch in on a studio film and remain uncredited. Especially an animated one. Kaufman is reported to have only polished the material, so it's doubtful we'll notice his handiwork. But keep an eye out for uncharacteristically cerebal fart jokes when the movie opens in June of 2011. (THR)

Sam Worthington Ain’t Your Grandpa’s ‘Quatermain’

Friday, May 14 by

Sam Worthington will add "wearing a hat" to his growing repertoire. In addition to roles in Dan Dare: Pilot Of the Future, Dracula Year Zero, and The Fields, he is now attached to star as literary adventurer and Indiana Jones inspiration, Allan Quatermain. But don't worry. Dreamworks can sense you yawning at that news and that's why the classic hero will be given a sci-fi makeover. For the new non-stuffy Quatermain, Worthington will return from space to an abandoned Earth for an epic treasure hunt.When reached for fictional comment, star and producer Sam Worthington had this to say, "I'd like to really master the hat-wearing aspect of this character. This will require loads of practice. I'll wear all types of hats to acclimate my scalp to the process. I'm actually beginning training with a hat-wearing coach next week. This guy that Jim [Cameron] recommended. Seems like a good bloke." (THR)

James Garner Outlives Second Coming of ‘The Rockford Files’

Friday, May 14 by

Rest easy, James Garner. It looks like your beloved "Rockford Files" will not be defiled by a remake. Deadline Hollywood is reporting that despite several shakeups and makeovers, NBC has decided to pass on the pilot.The show was plagued by casting problems early on, but those seemed to be ironed out with the addition of Dermot Mulroney. But even a last minute recut by one of NBC's top editors couldn't bring the show up to snuff.Personally, I don't see the problem here. I think NBC should scrap scripted dramas altogether, focusing on reality programs and maybe some sort of prime-time talk show. I hear Conan O'Brien is available.

‘True Blood’: Season 3 Trailer

Thursday, May 13 by

Cook? Cask? Tell me, I'm dying to know!I'm not going to lie. I've never seen "True Blood." But the fact that it doesn't have androgynous teenage vampires running around being emo is a good sign. And from what I've been told, there are lots of gratuitous topless scenes to enjoy. I'll be sure to check it out just as soon as ScreenJunkies starts paying for my HBO. Until then, I'll just watch this trailer for season 3 over and over again.Check out the "True Blood" Season 3 trailer after the jump.

‘Rambo V’ – Who Needs Stallone

Thursday, May 13 by

Kids today just can't get enough of John Rambo. Check the Internet, and you'll find there are literally millions, if not billions of Rambo related Facebook pages and Twitter accounts. And with Rambo mania (or as I like to call it, "Romania") at an all time high, it's no surprise that a group of investors is trying to drum up money to make the fifth installment of the franchise. In order to raise awareness for their cause, said investors have been putting up Rambo V posters at various locations around Cannes. The only problem is that Sylvester Stallone says he's through with the character. Stallone says the people behind these posters are out there looking for funding, and told him that if he won’t do it, someone else will. He's adamant that he won't do it so that means Rambo V, if they find funding, will happen with someone new playing Rambo. Screw Stallone. Those investors shouldn't let something like the loss of an iconic lead actor keep them from giving the public what it so desperately wants. Get The Rock on the phone. We want more Rambo! (CinemaBlend)

Handheld ‘American History X’ Game Will Smash Your Mind

Thursday, May 13 by

Sweetest. Hanukkah. Gift. Ever.(via YTMND)Amanda Seyfried Has Some Questions to Answer (Moviefone)Jesse Jayne Has Some Questions to Answer (Asylum)Shia Disses Papa Bear, Michael Bay (PopEater)5 Ways to Clean Up An Oil Spill (HolyTaco)G.I. Joe 2 Has a Script? (FilmDrunk)Suck It, Terrence Howard! (UnReality)Pedobear May Be the Predators New Mascot (Total Pro Sports)Real Life MacGrubers (Maxim)Xande Ribeiro Eyeing Contract With UFC (Cage Potato)Is Miley Cyrus Whoring Her Way to the Top? (CelebJihad)World's Most Badass Illustrator Ever: R.I.P. (Smosh)Where's This Generation's Freddy Krueger? (Pajiba)Last 10 Seconds of Lost Challenge (Atom)How To Booby Trap Your Apartment (MadeMan)World's Tiniest Redneck (AllLeftTurns)

Samuel L. Jackson Says Nick Fury To Star in ‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ Movie

Thursday, May 13 by

This billboard never gets old.This past week, Samuel L. Jackson appeared on Radio Big Boy to promote Iron Man 2 in between bicycle horns and other wacky sound effects. He got to talking about his nine picture deal with Marvel and let slip the news that he will star in his own Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. movie. To me, it seems like he was just talking though.Jackson was pretty vague about when shooting would begin on the supposed film (sometime after The Avengers) and didn't seem to know much about the current slate of Marvel films. He didn't know who was playing Captain America, and mixed up Thor star Chris Hemsworth for Chris Pine. Though in all fairness, we handsome, strapping white guys do look a lot alike (we're always joking about that at our meetings). Still, I long for a day when I can live like Samuel L. Jackson, oblivious to movie news and the comings and goings of the Internet. Just once I'd like to feel the soft kiss of the summer sun. **squeaks finger slowly down window glass, sighs, resigns self to watching Hurley from Lost's "Dude" video** (Cinema Blend)

You Want to Send Me to Cannes? Uhhhh…Okay!

Thursday, May 13 by

That's right, boys! Soak it up!So I'm on a plane right now flying to Cannes for the the tiny, little film festival they do annually, and I'm having trouble remembering who I slept with/killed to get this opportunity. Also, my 767 jet must be equipped with magic because I'm posting on the site from 1000s of feet up in the air. Eat your heart out, George Jetson. Your future looks like a silly b*tch now.Come to think of it, no one in their right or wrong mind would request sexual favors from me in exchange for a trip to Cannes. That's right, Stella Artois so kindly sponsored this excursion for me. I plan on living it up on the French Riviera like Jacques D'azur, and attempting to hit on as many women as he has bedded with a simple come hither glance. Don't post this on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She doesn't read the site.I'll be bringing you all kinds of fun audio and/or visual presentations documenting my escapades at the film festival. I even had to rent a tuxedo. With a bowtie. Why do I have a strange feeling I'll be working this trip off by serving tray passed mini quiches at an after party?I'm not certain yet what screenings I'll be attending or what galas I'll be drunkenly stumbling into, but rest assured you will know when I know. I mainly just plan on donning my tux 24/7 and unsuccessfully trying to convince people I'm Daniel Craig. Not James Bond, mind you. Daniel Craig. Now to secure some piercing blue eyes…My battery is running out because I lack discipline and don't refresh it like Apple suggests you do at least once a month, so I'll say au revoir for now. Keep on checking back for my updates and the use of French words that I pick up at high-stakes poker games and mustache-twisting pow-wows. Kisses, my babies!