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‘The Crazies’ Actress Danielle Panabaker

Friday, February 26 by

Danielle Panabaker has captured the hearts of men around the globe with her pixie-like appearance and her put-her-in-your-pocket-and-save-her-for-later appeal. She was also in Sky High, so………A word from Danielle: "I really did graduate at 14, and I go to college in the Los Angeles area near where I live."No one likes a bragger. And someone who's vague about their school so that someone else can't go find them.

Nobody Wants Credit for Jon Cryer’s Assassination

Friday, February 26 by

"Let me in!! I'm being MURDERED!!!"Jon Cryer must be a really good husband because it seems his ex-wife doesn't want to share him with the world. Earlier this year, an episode of Two and a Half Men was taped without a studio audience because Jon Cryer feared his ex-wife hired an assassin to kill him. Thus, depriving us of the most interesting thing that could possibly happen in that studio. I ask you this, does this look like the face of a woman who dreams of murder?Well, she doesn't think so. Here's her side of the story:Trigger’s lawyer claims on December 21, 2009, Trigger told her that her ex-boyfriend, Eddie Sanchez, had said he was going to kill Cryer and Trigger’s estranged husband, David Dickey.Trigger’s lawyer became so alarmed she contacted lawyers for both Cryer and Dickey. On January 10, Dickey confronted Sanchez. According to legal docs, “Mr. Sanchez not only flatly denied making such a statement, but he said that it was [Sarah Trigger] who had contacted him on numerous occasions, stating that she wanted to see the pair [Cryer and Dickey] dead, and even asking Mr. Sanchez if he would kill the pair, or if he would not, inquiring whether she could speak with Mr. Sanchez’s father about this issue.” Sounds scary and stressful for Cryer. If he had any smarts he would disguise himself as a teenager and hide out at his nephew's high school immediately. (TMZ)

This Summer: Kristainne Baille

Friday, February 26 by

Production start on this film slipped right past my radar. Kristen Bell and Christian Bale seem like perfect casting in this taut thriller. No release date yet, but it just moved to the top of my "must see" list.

Four Hotties Hop Aboard Farrellys’ ‘Hall Pass’

Friday, February 26 by

The Farrelly Brothers have been busy rounding out the cast of Hall Pass, the comedy where Owen Wilson is allowed to rub his genitals against any woman he wants with zero wifely consequences for one week. The cast currently consists of Wilson, Jenna Fischer, Jason Sudeikis, Amanda Bynes, J.B. Smoove, and Stephen Merchant.This morning comes news of the alluring actresses who will play the pontential recipients of the genital-rubbing. Christina Applegate, Alyssa Milano, Vanessa Angel, and Nicky Whelan have all inked deals to swell Wilson and Sudeikis's pants. If the Farrellys are hoping to attract the lucrative demographic of dumpy girls with low self-esteem, they're going about it the wrong way. (THR)

Michael and Walt Connect on Chat Roulette

Thursday, February 25 by

Wow, what a connection. They must have gone through so many penises and stuffed animals to finally find each other. I hope Walt immediately clicked "next" when he saw there weren't boobs on screen. Make a connection with these links.'Hurt Locker' Producer Apologizes for "Mean" Email (Moviefone)Teachers Suspended for Gym Lap Dance (Asylum)What Your Car Really Says About You (HolyTaco)Tim Burton's Weekend at Bernie's (FilmDrunk)Soccer + Women + Painted Jersies (TotalProSports)Most Terrifying 12 Seconds in Video Game History (Unreality)12 Hottest Women in MMA (CagePotato)Hollywood Hairpieces Timeline (Maxim)The Gary Busey Guide to Newborn Babies (CelebJihad)5 Best Horror Movie Remakes (Pajiba)Eat Your Soup From a Boot! (Atom)Find Out How to Get a Tank (MadeMan)McMurray Crew Member Leaps Car (AllLeftTurns)25 Female Douchebag Kissy Faces (RegretfulMorning)

Galifianakis and Hopkins to Exorcise Demons

Thursday, February 25 by

It's about to get projectile vomit-y in here!! In an apparent bid to recruit more kids to the priesthood, there are two new movies centering around exorcisms in the Hollywood pipeline. Priests are so hot right now. They're the new vampires.First up, Anthony Hopkins has signed on for the supernatural thriller The Rite. He'll play a Vatican-sanctioned exorcist whose methods are untraditional. In other words, he's a priest who doesn't follow the rules. Good luck finding a volunteer to stay after Sunday School to bang out erasers with you. (THR)The Hangover's Zach Galifianakis will portray an exorcist/slacker in Miracle Workers. The comedy tells the story of two friends who pose as exorcists until they encounter a truly malevolent evil. Shouldn't be a problem for Zach. He worked with Mike Tyson and survived. A demon would only rape him half as much. (Dread Central)

David Goyer to Tackle New Superman

Thursday, February 25 by

Superman rescues mini Goyer. It doesn't matter why.David Goyer will write the new Superman movie to be titled The Man of Steel. This doesn't come as much of a surprise considering Dark Knight partner Christopher Nolan is shepherding the project for Warner Brothers, but a welcome one, nonetheless.  Goyer intends to look to the original John Byrne creation for inspiration. Brandon Routh will not star and Bryan Singer is not expected to direct. So in other other words, less gay, more fun. Don't pretend like that's not an accurate description.Goyer's story involves Luthor and Brainiac, and won't be an origin story, so if you don't know anything about Superman you'll be like TOTALLY WTF? Don't worry, we'll watch all the prior films at my house before The Man of Steel hits theaters. I'll bring the popcorn, you bring the Bryan Singer  (LatinoReview)

The Man of Steel

Thursday, February 25 by

DIRECTOR: ???CAST: ???SYNOPSIS: A grittier look at the Man of Steel as he protects Metropolis from Brainiac and Lex Luthor. Based on John Byrne's depiction of Superman.

Justin Theroux to Write and Direct ‘Zoolander 2′

Thursday, February 25 by

Finally, the douchebags on MTV's Next will have some fresh quotes from a popular movie that they try to pass off as their own. It's been announced that Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2 scribe Justin Theroux will write and direct a follow-up to Zoolander. In fact, Theroux is heading to Fashion Week in Paris to "immerse himself on what is current in fashion." He's absolutely NOT going for the wild parties, hot women, and mini-croissants stuffed with brie. Just in case you heard that was the real reason.Jonah Hill is in talks to play the villian and Owen Wilson will hopefully reprise his role as Hansel, though he has yet to commit. But Luke Wilson wanted me to mention that he's available, and will work for mini-croissants stuffed with anything. (Deadline Hollywood)

‘The Crazies’ Actress Radha Mitchell

Thursday, February 25 by

Radha Mitchell got her big Hollywood start in Pitch Black opposite Vin Diesel, and has been a rising star ever since. The only downside is she kind of owes her success to Vin Diesel, and you NEVER want to be in that guy's pocket. A word from Radha: "Any situation today could be a tragedy or a comedy, it just depends on the mood that you're in when you're experiencing it, and the mood of the storyteller who is telling it." I could tell you a story of a puppy massacre while I was still high off a drug fueld threeway with Bar Refaeli and a stranger and I bet you'd still think it was tragic. So there. The pics after the jump are guaranteed to put you in a good mood.

Conan O’Brien Hosts 140 Character Talk Show on Twitter

Thursday, February 25 by

Conan O'Brien is so hard up for social interaction that he's joined Twitter like the rest of us losers. Welcome to the club, Coco! As of right now, Conan has 272,791 followers, but by the time you realize Screen Junkies exists and actually read this post he could be inactive (dead). In the bio section of the Twitter verified account it states, "I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account." Oh how the mighty have fallen. But no worries, NBC will allow Conan to talk directly to humans again in September, and it seems Fox has an interest in providing him with a stage and broadcasting these interactions. Until then, follow Conan's Twitter here, and read more of his interviews with tiny woodland creatures. On Monday, you can watch Jay Leno on the show he stole back from Conan, that is if you're a sadomasocist. (HitFix)

Nic Cage and Ryan Reynolds Cast as Cavemen in ‘The Croods’

Thursday, February 25 by

Dreamworks has hired the voices of Nicolas Cage and Ryan Reynolds for an upcoming caveman comedy. The film was being developed at Aardman Animations with the name Crood Awakenings but is now simply called The Croods. Why change it? Both names conjure the image of diarrhea equally. Hey! Here's the plot: “An old school caveman must lead his family across a volatile prehistoric landscape in search of a new home. The outsized flora and fauna are challenge enough, but the real complication arises when the family is joined by an alarmingly modern caveman whose search for “tomorrow” is at odds with our hero’s reliance on the traditions of yesterday.” Cage will play the cave-dad while Reynolds voices the modern caveman who charms Cage's daughter. Sounds like a snake's oil salesman, if you ask me. Then again, snake's oil had a lot of practical uses back in those days, the main one being a lubricant. He had it all figured out, that snake's oil salesman. (Variety)

‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ Trailer

Thursday, February 25 by

As April 30th grows closer, New Line is beginning their full-on marketing push for Platinum Dunes re-imagining of A Nightmare on Elm Street. This week has given us an onslaught of promotion. By this point we've seen a teaser, behind-the-scenes footage, stills, and now this second trailer. The first trailer offered bits of Freddy's backstory and a glimpse of Jackie Earle Haley in the makeup. This time around we get a good look at the nightmare sequences themselves, though not that great of a look at Krueger. But from what we do see, I'd say he's a lot more terrifying than his days with the Fat Boys.

‘Showgirls 2′ Red Band Trailer is Porn Minus Penetration

Wednesday, February 24 by

Showgirls 2: The Return – Redband Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersMurder by dumbbell, tainted coke, nipples, and strobe filters. Showgirls 2 resembles the locker room at my local Bally's Fitness. Don't ask me why the janitor rapidly flicks the lights on and off in there. One second you're checking your weight, the next second you're the subject of a massive circle jerk.Someone willingly gave director Marc Vorlander $25 million dollars to film a sequel to the atrocious Showgirls and it appears he spent most of it on the retro 45-second title sequence at the end of the trailer. Wow, Vorlander directed this piece of sh*t?! I knew that guy in high school. He'd always flick the lights on and off in gym…wait a minute. Bally's janitor!   These links want a lap dance.The Most Racist Movies Ever (Moviefone)Creepy Batman Burlesque Show (Asylum)25 Sexy Snow Bunnies (HolyTaco)6 Ways to Get Lectured By Internet Commenters (Uproxx)Soccer Goalie Delivers Lethal Drop Kick (TotalProSports)10 Movies Where People's Heads Explode (Unreality)Pudzianowski's Next Opponent is a Fat Guy (CagePotato)Best Video Game Sports Reenactments (Maxim)Hot Alessandra Ambrosia Pics (CelebJihad)7 Best Buddy Cop Movies (Pajiba)Brangelina are Still Collecting Children (Atom) Sexy Spring Break Safety Tips (MadeMan)Danica and Dale Jr. at War (AllLeftTurns)

Mickey Rourke is Conan’s Papa

Wednesday, February 24 by

World's Greatest Dad.It was rumored some time ago that Mickey Rourke would portray Conan's dad in Marcus Nispel's upcoming Conan remake. The dealmaking fell through at the time but the producers likely sweetened the pot by offering a bag of sweetened pot (it's like kettle corn for your lungs). Now Rourke is close to signing on. As reported before Conan stars Fake Lenny Kravitz (with Leo Howard playing Lil' Conan) as he goes on a quest to avenge the slaughter of his people.This casting makes perfect sense. If Rourke were to have a child, there's no way that kid wouldn't grow up to have dreadlocks and a sword collection. (THR)

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