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Stallone Stabs At Banter For A Change In New ‘Expendables’ Trailer

Wednesday, June 30 by

On paper The Expendables is terrible. In execution it is the most fun I've had in a movie theater for quite some time. This movie almost has it all; explosions, gratuitous violence, badasses, unnecessary motorcycle-riding montages, bad guys getting their heads kicked off, and awkward stabs at banter delivered by foreign tongues. And this new one minute cutdown of the trailer highlights all those elements. Especially the banter. Somebody in Internet add a laugh-track to this movie immediately. Somebody not me. CHECK OUT THE COMEDIC STYLINGS OF JET "SHECKY" LI AFTER THE JUMP…

‘Final Destination 5′ Now ’5nal Destination’. Derp.

Wednesday, June 30 by

Someone in Studioland got a raise today. Their suggestion to change the title of Final Destination 5 to 5nal Destination almost certainly earned them a corner office with a view of the commissary. You may be asking yourself, "What does 5nal Destination mean anyway?" It doesn't matter, you. It'll look good on a poster, and high schoolers can change it to say Anal Destination.When you go to look for the film at the video store though, assuming video stores still exist when it gets released on DVD, don't search for it in the "F's" because you won't find it there. Look for it next to the cookie dough bites. It should be reasonably discounted almost immediately. (/Film) 

5nal Destination

Wednesday, June 30 by

Director: Steven Quale

Jude Law, Ray Winstone Join Scorsese’s ‘Hugo Cabret’

Wednesday, June 30 by

C'mon, guys. The smoke bothers his eye.Hugo Cabret, or the movie formerly known as The Invention of Hugo Cabret, has begin filming, with Martin Scorsese stationed behind a 3D camera shout-stuttering, "I-I-I wantit in my face more!" Two more actors have signed on to put it in Scorese's face. Jude Law and Ray Winstone join the already cast Sacha Baron Cohen, Ben Kingsley, Asa Butterfield, and Chloe Moretz.Christopher Lee, Helen McCrory, Frances de la Toru, and Richard Griffiths have also jumped into Hugo's sandbox. The film tells the tale of an orphan boy living a secret life in the walls of a Paris train station. He finds a broken machine and gets caught up in a magical adventure. No drugs or execution-style hits are involved, and Joe Pesci won't force himself on any women. (/Film)

Josh Hutcherson Is The New ‘Spider-Man’

Wednesday, June 30 by

A Spider-Man is born.Marc Webb and Sony have finally selected a young actor to play Peter Parker from their list of young actors not quite right for the role of Peter Parker. According to a source at Blue Sky Disney Blog, Josh Hutcherson has been offered the role in Sony's Spider-Man reboot and he has accepted. Casting has been in the works for some time and after extensive test shoots, Hutcherson has come out on top. Bear in mind that there hasn't been an official press release from the studio at this time. So if this turns out to be wrong, pick a fight with Disney's army of lawyers.Apologies to Jamie Bell, Andrew Garfield, Frank Dillane, Logan Lerman, Alden Ehrenreich, and Anton Yelchin. You guys played a good game out there, but you still lost. No victory Baskin Robbins visit for you.

Cover Your Everything for the ‘Jersey Shore’ Season 2 Teaser

Wednesday, June 30 by

They're in Miami, bitch. The east coast was cold, making it impossible to cop a sweet tan, so MTV crated up the cast of "Jersey Shore" and shipped them to Miami for Season 2 of the decline of totally juiced western civilization. As you can probably guess, there's more drinking, scratching, narcissim, and unintelligible negative comments toward ego-threatening houseguests, all with a built in fish out of water hook. Cocaine sales in South Beach are about to skyrocket. Check out the teaser after the jump…

‘Love Ranch’ Actress Gina Gershon

Wednesday, June 30 by

Gina Gershon has always made my film reel shutter, from being the best thing in the epic disaster Showgirls to playing a mob battling lesbian ex-con Bound, she knows how to bring th sizzle back into movie screen sexy. With her current film Love Ranch she gets to be in back into her cathouse gear and amping up the cinema sweat with Joe Pesci and Helen Mirren.A word from Gina: "Actresses are nightmares. I don't hang out with any of them. That's a problem with my profession. I try not to be like an actress."Don't act. Just be. You could take some lessons from Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls. All that floppin' and twitchin' during the pool sex scene came natural to her. More pics of anti-actress Gina after the jump.

Edgar Wright Will Start Work On ‘Ant-Man’ Soon

Wednesday, June 30 by

Edgar Wright considers casting Vin Diesel.For those not in the know and too lazy to look it up, Ant-Man is a scientist who shrinks down to tiny size and controls the thoughts of ants via a special helmet. Yeah. Pretty dumb. So why is Edgar Wright making a movie about this? He undoubtedly has a golden touch, but can he turn Ant-Man into something watchable? Turns out, he hasn't given it too much thought.I haven’t actually started the second draft yet–I’m not going to be able to until this film [Scott Pilgrim] is out–but what we wrote for the first draft, and what Marvel really liked, is that it’s funny, but it’s a genre film. It’s about the level of comedy that Iron Man has. The idea is to make a high-concept genre film where it’s within another genre. His suit and its power is the big gadget and it takes place in the real world. I just wanted to do something that was slightly different than the superhero origin film. I felt that between that and the various mad scientist, crazy doctor films that we’ve all seen, this would be a way into an origin that was slightly different. I’m not really a multi-tasker–I haven’t done anything since Marvel liked our first draft.Word on the street is that Wright's first draft is amazing. I still think it's pretty dumb. Ants are really non-threatening unless you're planning to commit some kind of picnic-based heist. Or if you're lackadaisical when it comes to guarding your pee hole. And if that's the case, maybe you're just not well-suited for a life of crime. (Box Office Magazine)

New Old Spice Commercial Featuring Old Spice Guy Isaiah Mustafa

Wednesday, June 30 by

The Old Spice Guy Isaiah Mustafa is back in a brand new Old Spice commercial. This concept is still hilarious, and I enjoy his failed attempt at a swan dive. Though it's not head first, it somehow appears even more graceful. Soak up these 30 seconds of genius while you can, before Isaiah becomes NBC and Tyler Perry's bitch. (Vulture)

OMFG Ashley Greene and Thomas Jane Join ‘LOL’

Wednesday, June 30 by

The unfairly hot Ashley Greene and The Punisher Thomas Jane are in talks to join the Miley Cyrus film 'LOL'. Yes, we've come to the point where movies are being named after text message abbreviations. According to THR, "the story centers on a teenage girl (Cyrus) who is dumped by her more sexually experienced boyfriend while her divorcee mother (Demi Moore) struggles to move on with her life." Greene will play a high school bad girl, and Jane will be Cyrus' father. One problem. The movie stars Miley Cyrus, which means Disney will have a double padlock chastity belt secured on it. So Ashley Greene is playing a bad girl, but we won't get to see her do anything really bad. Such as seducing Demi Moore into some surprisingly graphic girl-on-girl action. …And now I apply the stand-by ice pack.

‘Scream 4′ To Feature Two Masks

Wednesday, June 30 by

An early concept.Everyone is on Twitter these days. Celebrities, fake celebrities, movie humor sites, and even the manufacturer of the mask used in the Scream films. It's only a matter of time before our younger cousins teach our grandparents how to tweet. But back to RJ Torbert of FunWorld, the creator of Scream's Ghostface. He recently leaked some information about the sequel on his Twitter page, and it looks like Neve Campbell isn't the only one sporting a new look:I expect there to be 2 diff masks, however I will say this, things changing very often – difficult to say without giving it away.Sent out additional GHOSTFACE to the SET today, a very interesting opening scene.Lets just say, the town of Woodsboro, has an obsession. There is your hint.Hmmm, okay let me guess. Obsession sounds liks Obsessed. Ali Larter starred in Obsessed and "Heroes" alongside Scream 4 star Hayden Panettiere. Hayden Panettiere was a child actor who turned out hot. Oh my God. I know who the killer is. Or killers are, I should say. It's Alyssa Milano and Christine Lakin. It's so obvious. Why didn't I see this before?!! **smokes pipe backwards** (ShockTillYouDrop)

‘Paranormal Activity 2′ Trailer Haunts the Interwebs

Wednesday, June 30 by

The trailer for Paranormal Activity 2 has hit the web, and it looks like one scary sonuvabitch, let me tell you! Actually, the first movie looked scary. Obviously it’s too…

Dominic Cooper Cast as Howard Stark in ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’

Wednesday, June 30 by

It's official: Dominic Cooper will play Howard Stark in the upcoming 'Captain America' film. Although rumors have been circulating about Cooper's involvement since May, Marvel did not send the official press release until yesterday. It's kind of like how you know your girlfriend is going to leave you for that guy at the gym, but she hasn't yet packed up her stuff.As I wrote in May, Howard Stark is a Howard Hughes-esq inventor and the founder of Stark Industries, the company later inherited by his son Tony (a.k.a. Iron Man). Assuming no one has changed the Wikipedia page from which I grabbed it, that information should still be accurate. (Collider)

Conan the Barbarian: The Musical

Tuesday, June 29 by

For those of you who can't wait for the upcoming remake of Conan the Barbarian, we have just the thing to hold you over. Behold, Conan the Barbarian: The Musical! Sing along to such classics as "Crom" and "Hear the Lamentation of the Women." Well, it's actually all one song, but I needed to fill some space. Watch Conan the Barbarian: The Musical after the jump.

‘Twilight Eclipse’ Test Screening

Tuesday, June 29 by

I weep for theater seats this weekend.Control yourself over these links. The Whitest Kids U'Know Are Back (TVSquad) The Nastiest Quotes From Critics Trashing 'Grown Ups' (Asylum) Kim Kardashian Will Be Made Of Wax (PopEater) The Breakfast Fight Club (FilmDrunk) 25 Videos Of Hot Chicks Who Love Video Games (HolyTaco) 15 Cool Pictures Of Famous People With Animals (Unreality) British Kids Recreate 'Goodfellas' In Just 60 Seconds (BroBible) Cute Girl Faceplants Off Bike And Into Creek (TotalProSports) 100 Twitter Accounts Every Guy Should Follow (Maxim) MMA Loses Another Battle In New York (CagePotato) Justin Bieber's Tips For Surviving Puberty (CelebJihad) Free Condoms For Kids (Smosh) 20 Directors' Post-Failure Careers (Pajiba) Another Adventre With Stay-At-Home Dad(Atom) Secret Sexy Russian Spy Arrested (MadeMan) 

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