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Here, Look at Chris Hemsworth as Thor

Friday, April 30 by

Go on, soak it up. Here's the first image of Chris Hemsworth as Marvel's next blockbuster busting character Thor. I'm diggin' the snake skin sleeve. It's like a Hot Topic superhero version of UnderArmor. That material soaks up sweat and brings it to the outside layer so it can dry faster, yo.My guess is the marketing bigwigs are revealing elements of Thor slowly and methodically. As you'll notice, there's no helmet or hammer in the above pic. Also, it's a close-up, so we don't get a good idea of what Thor is brooding over. My first inclination was he's taking a crap, but then I thought it's ridiculous to take a crap with your cape still on. Now if you'll excuse me, my morning coffee is taking effect. **Unbuttons cape, waddles to bathroom** (Yahoo)

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15 Funny Movie Marquees

Friday, April 30 by

One ticket, please.

Glee’s Dianna Agron Toe Touch Jumps to ‘I Am Number Four’

Friday, April 30 by

Dianna Agron, best known for her cheerleader roles on "Glee" and "Heroes," has joined the cast of I Am Number Four to play a… cheerleader. In the DJ Caruso-directed film, Agron will dump her jock boyfriend to cozy up to alien refugee Alex Pettyfer. Also on board are Sharlto Copley as Pettyfer's guardian and Teresa Palmer as Number Six.The movie based on a novel co-authored by James Frey, tells the story of nine alien children who escape to Earth after being hunted by a hostile race. There they hide in Middle America where they shift nervously in their seats whenever Syfy shows reruns of "Roswell." (THR)

‘George’ Trailer Shows a Lighter Side of Costanza

Thursday, April 29 by

This recut "Seinfeld" footage does a fantastic job turning George Constanza into a decent, compassionate, caring individual. His lack of cynicism makes me itchy underneath my skin. Bring back Independent George. Relationship George is a pussy. (BuzzFeed)These links…are makin' me thirsty!Jackie Earle Haley on 'Nightmare on Elm Street' (Moviefone)How to Be a Porn Star Magnet (Asylum)Lindsay Lohan Gets Trigger-Happy Pics (PopEater) 25 Women With Mustaches (HolyTaco)Brendan Fraser: Kind of a Spaz (FilmDrunk)Humans vs. Animals in Movies (Unreality)Cheating Coach Caught On Camera (TotalProSports)Found Porn (Maxim)Jonathan Goulet Had to Choke a B*tch Out (CagePotato)Miley Cyrus Can Not Wait to Get Naked (CelebJihad)25 Toothless Hockey Players (Smosh)10 Movies That Take Place in One Day (Pajiba)Gaining Wealth Through Wealth Seminars (Atom)Best Ways to Break Your Bad Habits (MadeMan)Earnhardt Jr. National Enquirer Story (AllLeftTurns)30 Entertaining "Meanwhile in" Pics (RegretfulMorning)

No ‘Anchorman 2′ For You, AGAIN!!

Thursday, April 29 by

As previously reported, Adam McKay has a serious case of the frownies today. After severely cutting the budget, Anchorman 2 is still a no-go with Paramount. There was a glimmer of hope earlier this week when the original cast agreed to cut their prices, but Paramount decided to pass all the same.I imagine it went something like this:ADAM McKAY: So there you have it, The Further Legends of Ron Burgundy!!PARAMOUNT EXEC: Very funny. But I'll need to consult with my adviser.SLAMS MAGIC 8 BALL DOWN ON DESK.PARMOUNT EXEC: Oooh. It is decidely not so. MWUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!MAGIC 8 BALL: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!A TEAM OF BAYWATCH WRITERS CLOSES DOOR ON McKAY'S FACE.(via /Film)

Shia LaBeouf Will Be Badly Beaten in ‘The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman’

Thursday, April 29 by

Shia LaBeouf has signed on to star in The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman in commercial director Dante Ariola's feature debut. Quick question about Dante Ariola, is that his real name or the one he uses when performing burlesque? I guess that doesn't matter right now.In the film, LaBeouf stars as Charlie Countryman. Just a normal dude who likes to hang and chill and maybe kick around the hack. Then he meets Gabi, but sadly she's already claimed by a violent crime boss. Charlie must take several sh*t-kickings to woo her. This sounds like Dante's Peak to Scott Pilgrim's Volcano. Those two movies somehow found a way to make lava boring, let's hope Countryman doesn't do the same for sh*t-kickings. (/Film)

‘Jonah Hex’ Trailer Brings the One-Liners

Thursday, April 29 by

A Malkovich handshake. We get it. He's got an ugly face. But the Jonah Hex trailer wants to make sure you fully understand that fact. Josh Brolin plays a scarred bounty hunter charged with hunting down his oldest enemy (John Malkovich, unfortunately not playing himself) who is preparing to unleash Hell. Megan Fox shows off her heaving bosom in a corset as another sexy dame that can shoot a gun with the greatest of ease. Also, Daniels from "The Wire" provides Jonah with weapons, and Will Arnett has a mustache and a word of advice. The only thing that's missing is Kenneth Branagh operating a mechanical spider. I'd like to see Jonah come up with a quippy one-liner for that. One that Will Smith doesn't already own. Check out the trailer after the jump. Jonah Hex saddles up in theaters June 18, 2010.

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Actress Kim Raver

Thursday, April 29 by

Kim Raver kept Jack Bauer under control in 24, and then a sh*tstorm of TV roles followed. She was in "The Nine" (cancelled), "Lipstick Jungle" (cancelled), and now she's laid her head down on "Grey's Anatomy." Make yourself comfortable, Kim. A word from Kim: "I always wanted to be a superhero."Get bitten by something. I think that's how it usually works. I call myself Malaria Man. Check out more of Kim's anatomy after the jump.

Lane, Malkovich, Silly Hats: ‘Secretariat’ Trailer

Thursday, April 29 by

Just in time for the Oaks Celebration of the 136th Kentucky Derby, we have the trailer for Secretariat. Directed by Randall Wallace, it stars Diane Lane as a horse owner with a vagina (GASP!), that attempts to lead her thoroughbred to Triple Crown glory. John Malkovich co-stars as the horse's trainer and personal stylist. Here that swelling score? That means you can lump this one into Disney's growing catalogue of "Animals Who Defy the Odds to Blow Your F*cking Mind." To differentiate it from Seabiscuit, the filmmakers could have taken a few liberties with the material. My suggestion: the true story of a horse who ate too much, and lounged around like he was in the Caribbean. Here's an artist's interpretation of what that may look like. Check out the trailer after the jump. Secretariat charges into theaters October 8, 2010.

Princess Leia Bikini Car Wash

Thursday, April 29 by

Princess Leia Bikini Car Wash – Watch more Funny VideosMay cause heart palpitations, nausea, and even death in some nerds. Watch with extreme caution, and a Darth Vader mask on. (FilmDrunk)

SECRETARIAT

Thursday, April 29 by

Director: Randall WallaceCast: Diane Lane, John Malkovich, James Cromwell, Dylan WalshSynopsis: The life story of Penny Chenery, owner of the racehorse Secretariat, who won the Triple Crown in 1973.Release Date: October 8, 2010

Fox to Remake ‘Taken’ and Call It ‘Commando’

Thursday, April 29 by

Ah, now all the kids on my bus route will get my Commando references. Fox has hired David Ayer (Harsh Times, Street Kings) to write and direct a remake of THE BEST FILM EVER. A former Navy soldier, Ayer is putting his own real world spin on the character formerly played by Schwarzenegger. This time around, the elite commando on a mission to rescue his daughter will be "less brawny, but more skilled in covert tactics and weaponry."Ayer now needs to figure out how to make the film car-centric. That's the only bump on the road to getting Jason Statham to agree to star. (Deadline)

Crying Guy Helps Out Harry and the Hendersons

Wednesday, April 28 by

Harry Hendersons Best Cry Mash Up – Watch more Funny VideosCrying Guy feels your pain, Harry.(special thanks to Mark from Found Footage Fest for the assist)These links will cheer you up. Ricky Gervais to Host 2011 Golden Globes (Moviefone)Porn Star Rescues Man from Jail Sentence (Asylum)Jim Carrey is Acting Weirder Than Usual (PopEater)25 Ladies in Corsets (HolyTaco)Pete Hammond's an 'Iron Man 2' Whore (FilmDrunk)Werner Herzog Reads Where's Waldo (Unreality)Girl + Fitness Ball = Epic Face Plant (TotalProSports)If Ninjas Made a Wall Callendar (Maxim)Josh Barnett Plans His Fake Fighting Future (CagePotato)Leighton Meester Long Legs Megapost (CelebJihad)13 People Over 100 Doing Crazy Stuff (Smosh)10 Hottest Gingers (Pajiba)Mustache Gun (Atom)Cheapest Workouts fro Men (MadeMan)What It's Like to Ride in a Stock Car (AllLeftTurns)

J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg Might Make a Movie Together

Wednesday, April 28 by

"J.J., if you touch me again, I'll end you."Vulture's got some craaaaaaazy news, y'all. J.J. Abrams next movie will supposedly be both a tribute and a collaboration with his father from another lover Steven Spielberg. From Vulture's mysterious inside source:An insider tells us that Abrams is just now finishing a script described as “a tip of the hat to [Spielberg’s] movies of the 70’s and early 80’s.” We’re also told that Abrams plans to “roll up his sleeves and direct the script himself” by early this fall for Paramount Pictures, where he's based.Plot details are top secret – as if there’s any other kind of plot detail in Abramsland — but we’re told that like Spielberg’s Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and E.T., the project will deal with everyday people whose personal relationships are tested when they are thrown up against extraordinarily fantastic – and possibly other-worldly – events.So THAT'S what you've been up to, Abrams, you wily S.O.B. You've been writing a shark/alien movie for you to direct and Spielberg to produce. The title for the film is being kept under lock and key and dirt and lead blanket, but Bearsharktopus would clearly be most apted. And if it's about anything other than a hybrid bear-shark-octopus, I'm not sure I want anything to do with it.

Bill Condon Will Direct ‘Breaking Dawn’

Wednesday, April 28 by

"Follow me, Edward. Onto a project far gayer."Oscar-winner Bill Condon (Kinsey, Dreamgirls, Gods and Monsters, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh) is ready to swell the hearts of weepy teenaged girls everywhere. Just like Cinn-a-bon.Summit has announced that they have tasked him with directing the spell-binding romance and shirtless dudefest that is Twilight: Breaking Dawn. “I’m very excited to get the chance to bring the climax of this saga to life on-screen," said Condon. Which is fine, as long as he doesn't bring it on my Edward Man-Pillow. The Wayans Brothers are said to already be accepting breakdancing werewolf applicants for Twilte: To The Break-a Break-a Dawn. I'm kidding, of course. But how soon until this actually goes into production?

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