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Batman Porn Parody Trailer 2

Wednesday, May 12 by

Doesn't the above image make you want to watch a porno? Apparently the Batman XXX Porno Parody succeeds by frightening the arousal into you. I bet you like that, don't you, sicko? We've seen adult entertainment parodies of The Big Lebowski, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," and "Dexter," and out of all of them I'd say Batman is at the bottom of my list of porns I have a mild curiosity in stealing from my dad. The "film" is directed by Alex Braun and distributed by Vivid. Take a gander at the second trailer for the Batman Porn Parody below. **Spinning dildo flies at screen, transitioning us to the next scene**

Van Damme and Lundgren Return to the Cyborg Well With ‘Universal Soldier 4′

Wednesday, May 12 by

Swallow your peas, Dolph! This one's for all the fellas out there that love bulging muscles up in their grill. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren will once again reignite their centuries old rivalry for Universal Soldier 4: 3D. John Hyams, who directed the previous film in the series, will return to show these guys which angles to punch one another at are best for camera.I would assume the project would go straight to DVD, but if that's the case why spend the money on 3D? Are they going to inflate DVD costs next? Or tax our eyeballs when this inevitably ends up on Spike TV?? Well, we won't stand for that. ATTICA! ATTICA!!! (Deadline)

Timothy Olyphant Subs For Sharlto Copley In ‘I Am Number Four’

Wednesday, May 12 by

Timothy Olyphant ("Justified," The Crazies, "Deadwood") has hopped on I Am Number Four after Sharlto Copley had to drop out to promote The A-Team. Which makes sense. You don't want to leave "Rampage" Jackson alone in a room full of reporters.Olyphant will be stepping into the role of "guardian and mentor" to Alex Pettyfer's alien refugee Number Four. I see no mention of this guardian being a kick-ass Southern lawman, but the casting of Timothy Olyphant would suggest that's the case. Must be a typo. (Variety)

Charlie From ‘Always Sunny’ May Star in ‘Horrible Bosses’

Wednesday, May 12 by

When I heard that Jennifer Aniston had signed on to star in Horrible Bosses, I assumed that the film was going to be a real hunk of crap. But when I heard that Charlie Day from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is in talks to sign on, I was forced to reconsider. Throw Jason Bateman into the mix, and this film about three friends who plot to kill their bosses seems a lot more interesting. Jason Bateman will play a man who believes his hard work will be rewarded but when he gets passed over for a promotion, he hits rock bottom. Charlie Day plays a hapless guy, always in the wrong place at the wrong time. A part still to be cast is a ladies’ man who is good at his job, but gets a rude awakening when his boss passes away and gets replaced. Word on "the street" is that Colin Farrell will be playing said ladies' man. I guess "the street" must read Collider.

George Romero Would Like to Try His Hand at Zombie Films

Tuesday, May 11 by

I don't want to beat a dead horse by making a "beating an undead horse" joke about Geroge Romero, but Jesus H. Christ! He's making it very hard not to.Although Romero's sixth zombie film, Survival of the Dead, hasn't even hit theaters yet, the legendary director is already talking about two more installments.In a recent interview, Romero said he would like to shoot the films back to back and that "returning for two more entries would feel like home to him."I'd like to point out that to experience something that "feels like home" you would actually have to leave home first. But at any rate, shooting the films back to back is probably a good idea, considering Romero is 70. If this goes on much longer, the undead films are going to need an undead director…because he'll be dead. Get it? Yeah you do. (First Showing)

Stop the Presses: Jennifer Aniston to Star in Romantic Comedy

Tuesday, May 11 by

Shocking news! Jennifer Aniston has decided to break the mold and step out of her comfort zone by taking on a role in a romantic comedy. Wanderlust, which was acquired by Universal Pictures, will be produced by Judd Apatow and will costar Apatow regular Paul Rudd. Aniston and Rudd will play a married couple trying to escape the trappings of the city life for a counterculture existence. Sounds amazing! As if one groundbreaking role wasn't enough, Aniston has also signed on to star in New Line Cinema's Horrible Bosses, which is no doubt a dark psychological thriller. Either that, or another sh*tty comedy. (Deadline)

Total Recall: The Musical

Tuesday, May 11 by

Quaid's woes are set to music in this rendition of Total Recall that surprisingly makes the film less weird. Though I can't imagine Paul Verhoeven being okay with this version. There aren't a pair of bare breasts in sight. (JonandAl)Cohaagen, give these people some links!Star Summer Comebacks (Moviefone)Is Miss USA Too Sexy? (Asylum)Six-Grade Gaga-Bieber Hybrid (PopEater)25 Sexy Hockey Fans (HolyTaco)Seacrest Wannabe Caught Plagiarizing (FilmDrunk)The Healing Power of Coke and Soft Pretzels (Unreality)15 Hot Volleyball Chicks (TotalProSports)6 Best and Worst Captains of All Time (Maxim)The Reem? (CagePotato)Lady Gaga Shows Off His Lady Bits (CelebJihad)25 Items Made of Legos (Smosh)5 Best Robert Downey Jr. Roles (Pajiba)Pube Rap (Atom)Drambuie Pursuit Scottish Adventure Race (MadeMan)NASCAR Hall of Fame Open for Business (AllLeftTurns)How You Feel After Fapping (RegretfulMorning)

Child’s Face Peed On In Freeze Frame From ‘Super 8′ Teaser

Tuesday, May 11 by

With Jamaroqui Jabar Abrams's Super 8 opening in theaters in little over 365 days from now, we're given precious time to pour over every small piece of marketing material obsessively. Let's get on that people! **dons jeweler's loupe** Our first clue comes to us in the form of the above picture, lifted from the newly-released high quality teaser. Just before the film's title appears, you can see the quick flash of a mysterious child's face. Much like in Three Men and a Baby or the rear window of Roman Polanski's van as it speeds away. Dissect this HD bitch after the jump…

‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Experiencing Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

Tuesday, May 11 by

The decision to split Twilight: Breaking Dawn into two movies is causing some money woes for Summit Entertainment. Or for the supporting cast, depending on your perspective. Professional erection and herection causers, Ashley Greene and Kellen Lutz are looking for bigger paydays now that their careers are beginnng to break out. They're all like, "F*ck you! Pay me!!" And Summit's all like, "No. YOU, f*ck you!!" Or something along those lines:"We may have a situation where one of them is thrown out on the street to make a point," says a source close to the dealmaking. There is precedent. After the success of the first film, Summit axed Rachelle Lefevre, who played Victoria, in part because her reps played hardball on money. (Bryce Dallas Howard got the job instead.)  But sources say the offers from Summit — which are said to be at least 10 times what the actors made on the first movie — were deemed "offensive" given the mega-money the franchise has generated.This is a tough call. One the one hand, yeah f*ck those guys. But on the other, they DO have abdominal muscles and I'm pretty sure that's what matters nowadays. That's why the American Gladiators are so well off and most artists die penniless. Honestly though, just replace him with Paul Walker. Same diff. (Yahoo)

‘Transformers 3′ To Be Not Unintentionally Racist

Tuesday, May 11 by

Michael Bay has confirmed on his message board that The Twins, Mudflap and Skids, from Revenge of the Fallen will not be perpetuating racial stereotypes in Transformers 3. In Hollywood that's what we call getting Jar Jar Binx'ed. It's Bay's goal to make the next Transformers installment relatively inoffensive, but take this with a grain of salt as Tyrese and Josh Duhamel still have scenes opposite one another. There's no telling what's next for The Twins. They've got all the right skillz for a dance flick or a rap career, they just need someone to take a chance on them. My instincts say they'll be relegated to the scrap pile though like so many other influential characters of the past.I'm still eagerly awaiting the next Max Headroom project that I fear may never come. (IESB)

‘Robin Hood’ Actress Lea Seydoux

Tuesday, May 11 by

Léa Seydoux is the granddaughter of Jérôme Seydoux, Chairman of Pathé, and the grandniece of Nicolas Seydoux, Chairman and CEO of Gaumont. Looks like we know how SOMEONE got their foot in the door… That's right, by looking hot. A word from Lea: "Something French."I LOVE crepes! More pics of Madamoiselle Seydoux after the jump.

Colin Farrell Is An Actor Again in ‘Fright Night’ and ‘Horrible Bosses’

Tuesday, May 11 by

After several poisonous box office outings, Colin Farrell's project-picking finger could smell like sweet success for a change. Between his turn in Crazy Heart and Golden Globe win for In Bruges, he's found his way back onto marquees. And the needless remake train as well.Farrell has signed on to bite women in Craig Gillespie's Fright Night as the new vampire in town, opposite Anton Yelchin and Toni Collette. After that, he'll appear with computer lover Paul Rudd in the comedy Horrible Bosses directed by Seth Gordon. He dropped out of two other projects in order to free up his schedule for these parts – one a Katherine Heigl bounty hunter movie and the other a rom-com directed by McG. Smart move. Talk about horrible bosses… (Deadline)

10 Actors Who Have Been Phoning It In

Tuesday, May 11 by

When an actor knocks their first role out of the park, they then have a lot to live up to. They usually start getting loads of offers to star in other films and with that comes piles ‘o cash. What I’ve been noticing is that some of these actors just start punching the time clock and go to sleep on the job. For like, decades, even. Here are 10 actors who have phoned in their roles for the better part of their career. And some are still doing it.SYLVESTER STALLONE

Now This Is Happening: ‘Judge Dredd 3D’

Tuesday, May 11 by

If you print this out and tape it to your t-shirt, you will get so laid.Pete Travis is ready to fill the 3D Judge Dredd-shaped hole in our lives. Deadline reports that the Vantage Point director has signed on with DNA Films to bring Judge Joe Dredd back to the big screen, and they'll be looking to secure distribution at Cannes.This is good news for two reasons. A) It can't be worse than the confusing mish-mash that was Sylvester Stallone's version. 2) There's no studio involved to muck up the story. There's no word how faithful the film will stay to the comic series but Alex Garland (Sunshine) is attached to script.  I'd like to see a scene where Dredd has his own syndicated courtroom show, and punishes deadbeat roommates to the harshest extremes of the law. Please get on this "Robot Chicken." If you haven't already.

Double Barrel: Two New Videos from ‘Hobo With a Shotgun’

Tuesday, May 11 by

Earlier this year, fans of the original Hobo with a Shotgun trailer wept with joy as production began on a full-length feature starring Rutger Hauer as the titular hobo. Although the film owes its increased popularity to online buzz, the internet is a fickle mistress. With thriving online communities such as Sierra Online and Prodigy and a never-ending supply of cat videos, your typical web surfer has the attention span of a Prodigy subscriber watching cat videos. But the people behind Hobo with a Shotgun understand these shifting web dynamics. As such, they're constantly creating new content to keep our interests piqued. That's why they've released two new teaser videos for fans to enjoy. Truth be told, neither one of these videos make me that excited, but it's way too early to start bitching. Besides, as long as the movie has both a hobo and a shotgun (not necessarily in that order) I'll be going to see it. (DreadCentral) Check out the two new Hobo with a Shotgun videos after the jump.

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