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‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ Actress Teresa Palmer

Tuesday, July 13 by

The blonde Aussie Teresa Palmer is Disney's sexy gift with performances in Bedtime Stories and now this week's The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Topher Grace has been lucky enough to truly enjoy her down under charm, and if that turns you off you must seriously hate Topher Grace.A word from Teresa: "I was earning like $100 a week a year ago, so this is money I never expected to earn! But I am trying not to listen to the hype or listen to my own media because you can't go through it like that."How fruggle of her. I agree though. One Bentley is enough when first starting out in the game. Spend the rest on blow. More pics of hot Aussie Teresa after the jump.

Mel Gibson vs. Christian Bale Phone Fight Mashup

Tuesday, July 13 by

Mel Gibson vs. Christian Bale – Watch more Funny VideosThe audio mashup you've all been waiting for is finally here. The second we all heard Mel Gibson go apesh*t on his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, Christian Bale popped up in the back of our minds ripping the DP on Terminator Salvation a new asshole. Neither you nor I wanted to put them together in one phone conversation because that involves time and effort, so we waited a few days until someone else did it. We should get these two actors in one sealed-off room and they can really battle it out. Place your bets on who's going to end up in a rose garden. Probably Oksana since both Bale and Gibson have no qualms with hitting women. (FilmDrunk)

Casting Round-Up: ‘Fast Five,’ ‘Moneyball,’ and Cox Will ‘Rise’

Tuesday, July 13 by

It's time once agin to gather round the computin' box and gather some freshly-branded casting news. YAWWWWW!!!!FAST FIVE – will be gaining one Ludacris and one The Rock according to Twitter all-star Tyrese Gibson. “Major shouts to Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, & Dewayne [sic] “Rock” Johnson!! “Fast & Furious Five” Let’s get em again!!” Yes. He misspelled The Rock's name but please keep in mind, he typed this with his ab muscles. Impressed, now? (Collider)RISE OF THE APES – has cast Brian Cox to play a villianous dean general Robert McKee owner of a primate research facility. When reached for comment, James Cromwell said, "Aw, dammit." (/Film)MONEYBALL – "Parks and Recreation" shoeshine man, Chris Pratt, will spend his hiatus from the show portraying a catcher whose hurty elbow leads him to become a batting phenom. Just like Rookie Of the Year (note: nothing like Rookie Of the Year.) (Collider)

Nicolas Cage Tripped On Shrooms with His Cat

Tuesday, July 13 by

Nicolas Cage was a guest on "Late Show with David Letterman" last night to promote The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and wouldn't you know it, he told a drug story. Back in the day, Cage kept psychedelic mushrooms in his fridge like we keep milk and deli meats. His cat loved the shrooms and would frequently indulge, so Cage often tripped the light fantastic with it. There's more to the story, but I don't want to harsh your mellow. Check the clip out yourself. (TVSquad)

10 Underrated Movie Dream Sequences

Tuesday, July 13 by

Christopher Nolan’s Inception is released this Friday, and despite the publicity, I could not tell you its plot to save my life. I hear it is about Cobb (Leo Di Caprio) who is able to invade people’s dreams. So, it sounds a lot like the Nightmare on Elm Street series, without the puns. Also, if I am to believe the trailers, most people in the future dream about cities folding up on themselves. If that’s the case, my dreams about becoming a half-cat/half-man driving an ice cream truck should protect me from psyche-criminals. Here are a few of my favorite dream sequences that are generally forgotten about (or undervalued).   

Fund His Next Documentary And Win David Lynch’s Self-Portrait

Tuesday, July 13 by

I can kind of see it around the eyes.You may listen to the Lost Highway soundtrack on repeat or enjoy Mulholland Drive for reasons beyond Naomi Watts's chest, but you're not a true fan of David Lynch until you have his face printed on your stylish tote bag. And Lynch is giving you the opportunity to do just that. Anyone who donates $50 to the production of his upcoming documentary Lynch Three, can win a limited-edition print of the director's self-portrait on a poster, tote bag, or T-shirt.Onto the self-portrait itself. I'm a little disappointed by it. I know that art is subjective and Lynch has proven himself time and time again in the creative world, but it looks like it belongs on Regretsy. Why isn't this sculpted out of steak, or printed on dead skin? At least tell me the pen he used to draw it was involved in a stabbing. Give me something here. (via Cinema Blend)

Comic-Con Organizers Think Boobs Are Gross, Drop ‘Piranha 3D’ From Lineup

Tuesday, July 13 by

Stop staring at my chest!Comic-Con attendees hoping to see a topless woman for the first time are in for a real let down. Event organizers have rejected footage from the film Piranha 3D because there were too many boob shots, according to Comic-Con's PR director, David Glanzer. "My understanding is that the footage wasn't all ages appropriate," Glanzer told HitFix. "We don't check ID to get into those meeting rooms, so we don't want something inappropriate." That's all fine and good, but answer me this: at what age is it "appropriate" to sit in on a panel discussion titled A Leap Of Faith, A "Quantum Leap" Retrospective, or Kiss Them or Kill Them? Conflict Management for the Creatures Among Us? Clearly, half the crap at Comic-Con is inappropriate for people of all ages. Why pick on Piranha 3D? (Dread Central)

Haley Joel Osment Wants to ‘Lay It Forward’ (a.k.a. ‘The Sex Sense’)

Tuesday, July 13 by

Mom, it happened again.Haley Joel Osment is back from his third tour in Afghanistan (I assume that's where he's been for the past three years), and he's just signed on to a project that doesn't sound too awful.In Sex Ed, Osment will play a recent college graduate hired to teach algebra. But through a series of wacky misadventures (crippling budget cuts), Osment's character ends up teaching a sex ed class. The only catch is that he's a virgin. Those who can't do, teach.The film was written by Billy Kennedy and will be directed by Isaac Feder. It will be viewed by me and maybe Haley Joel Osment's mom, if she's not out spending that Sixth Sense money. (Empire Online)

Robocop Joins the Cast of ‘Dexter’

Tuesday, July 13 by

Dexter Morgan is an unstoppable killing machine. And what better way to fight an unstoppable killing machine than with America's favorite insatiable law-and-order cyborg? No, not Vincent D'Onofrio.Peter Weller, the star of the classic 80's sci-fi film Robocop has joined the cast of "Dexter: Season 5." According to Dread Central, he will appear in eight episodes, and will play a "troubled" Miami Metro police officer, as if there's any other kind.While there's no mention of the character of Robocop, I'd be surprised if they didn't use him in some capacity. The show never came right out and said that John Lithgow was supposed to be the character of Dr. Dick Solomon from "3rd Rock from the Sun." But once he dropped the C-Bomb at Thanksgiving dinner, everyone knew it was him.

Audio Proof Mel Gibson’s Certifiably Batsh*t Crazy

Monday, July 12 by

MEL GIBSONS PSYCHO CALL TO GIRLFRIEND OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – Watch more Funny VideosPlease listen to Mel Gibson's psycho call to Oksana Grigorieva, the mother of his baby daughter. It's lengthy by internet standards, but I promise the entire eight minutes will grab hold of you like Mel Gibson would if you were a minority in a windowless room alone with him. If you didn't think Mel was batsh*t crazy before, you need hear nothing more than his primal panting to change your opinion.Shake off the verbal abuse with these links.Hooters Swimsuit Pageant Winner Video (TVSquad)Some Women Shift Sexual Orientations (Asylum)25 Hilarious Cheerleader Fail Videos (HolyTaco)Hollywood Accounting Explained (FilmDrunk)10 Awesome Predator Tattoos (Maxim)The Search for New England's Best Ass (BarStoolSports)10 Cartoon Cereals That Sadly No Longer Exist (EgoTV)Your Favorite Directors Aren't Box Office Hits (Pajiba)20 Awesome Retro Movie and TV Lunch Boxes (Unreality)German Celebration Fail (TotalProSports)20 Cool Fan Art Marios (Smosh)10 Real Jobs to Work Alongside Hot Chicks (BroBible)Miley Cyrus Shows Her Behind (CelebJihad)Shinya Aoki is the Biggest Douche in Japanese MMA (CagePotato)Spencer Pratt Has No Place to Live (PopEater)Private Ninja Lessons (MadeMan)

‘NTSF: SD: SUV’ Preview Will Explode Your Brain

Monday, July 12 by

What? No snarky Goth?? They may have reneged on "Weird Al" but it looks like The Cartoon Network is still very much in the spoof business. Last night, during an episode of "Children's Hospital," a preview of the upcoming action series "National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sports Utility Vehicle." Or "NTSF: SD: SUV" for short(er). The action series stars Paul Scheer as a Jack Bauer/David Caruso hybrid, and Rob Riggle as a general/terrorist or something. I think what we should all focus on here is the fact that the team employs a rocket launcher-touting chef. Not enough shows have that. Check out the preview after the jump….

Fan-Made Man-Made ‘The Expendables’ Trailer

Monday, July 12 by

Man Challenge: Get your ass to the theater the weekend of August 13th to see The Expendables or else Eat, Pray, Love might take the number one spot at the box office. I'm not saying this because Lionsgate bought me the jacuzzi full of Voss that I'm currently working in, I'm saying it because if a movie specifically tailored for guys like us fails to bring in the dough, our future will be grim. So, so grim. In fact, make so much noise through your enthusiasm for The Expendables that the females in the Eat, Pray, Love theater next door turn to either side and disgustedly utter the word, "Men…" You're goddamned right "men." Check out the Call to Arms Expendables trailer after the jump.

‘True Blood’ Recap: 9 Crimes S3E4

Monday, July 12 by

Two weeks ago on "True Blood": Another body showed up, head missing. Sookie went to a werewolf bar with a cool werewolf (Alcide). Bill agreed to help the King of Mississippi screw over the Queen of Louisiana. Sam's redneck family got plastered on chick drinks at his bar. Jason contemplated a career in law enforcement. Tara f*cked the mysterious new vampire in town (Frank). Frank blackmailed Jess. Sam's brother tried to rob him. Bill mutilated Lorena's body while he fucked her in some weird-ass kinky vampire sex. This week starts with Sookie cleaning Alcide's wounds. He whines. She flirts. Bill calls. He's like, "Sookah, I can no longah handle the gap in your teeth. We’re through." Lorena is smirking in the background, so unfortunately she survived Bill's hate f*ck.MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

Thomas the Tank Engine Speaks the Truth

Monday, July 12 by

So inappropriate for a little kid. It's three sizes too big.

Roman Polanski Is A Free Man

Monday, July 12 by

Check out "Cool Dad."Phew! Looks like we'll get a sequel to The Ghost Writer afterall. That was a close one. Government officials in Switzerland have decided to free Roman Polanski after seven months of house arrest. The Swiss had planned to expedite the famed director to the U.S. where he would serve a prison sentence for drugging and raping a 13-year old girl in 1977, but have now declined to do so because of a fault in America's application for his extradition.Great. Way to drop the ball, guys. There's no way he's going to fall for the whole we want to give you a lifetime achievement award again. Now our only option for capturing him is to dress Dog the Bounty Hunter as a schoolgirl, and drop him in the Alps. It's a crazy plan, but right crazy is the best hope we've got. (NY Times)

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