‘Red Dawn’ Remake Hurts China’s Feelings

Friday, June 4 by

Looks like China's a little bit touchy about that whole being a communist superpower thing. A state-run paper is miffed that producers of Red Dawn have chosen to villify them in the upcoming remake, instead of the Soviet Union as they did in the original. Problem is, there is no Soviet Union anymore. We crushed them after watching the original Red Dawn. Oh hey, I think I see their point."Despite the world's focus on U.S.-China relations in the strategic and economic dialogue and their increasing economic connections, China can still feel U.S. distrust and fear, especially among its people. Americans' suspicions about China are the best ground for the hawks to disseminate fear and doubt, which is the biggest concern with the movie Red Dawn."Oh, poor wittle China. Gonna cry? Gonna cry?? China gonna cry? Wh-what are you doing?? No, put that tank back. I was just blogging in a snarky manner. The internet demands it!!! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! (via Cinematical)

Red Dawn

Friday, June 4 by

DIRECTOR: Dan BradleySYNOPSIS: A group of teenagers look to save their town from an invasion of Chinese and Russian soldiers.CAST: Chris Hemsworth; Adrianne Palicki; Josh Peck; Josh Hutcherson; Isabel Lucas; Jeffrey Dean Morgan; Tom Cruise's son; Will Yun Lee

Wholesome Trailer Alert: Rob Reiner’s ‘Flipped’

Friday, June 4 by

Rob Reiner, or Big-Boned Spielberg as he prefers to be called (probably), is back with a quaint coming of age tale. Flipped tells the classic story: boy meets girl, boy discovers porno, boy settles for girl, girl has a weird forehead. It really is an ageless tale. What the hell is this? With a name like Flipped and Reiner attached, I'd assume this is some kind of pancake porn. Where's my syrup shot?! Flipped opens in theaters August 6th.  CHECK OUT THE TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP…

Cloudy With a Chance of…WTF?!

Friday, June 4 by

I trust your meterological news implicitly.

Ogre Round-Up: Brett Ratner Making Dirty ‘Snow White’; McDonald’s Recalls Dirty ‘Shrek’ Glasses

Friday, June 4 by

"Brother?!"There were too many similarities in these stories to avoid lumping them together in one Ogre Round-Up.Brett Ratner – wants to produce an "edgy 3D re-imagining" of the famous Brothers Grimm story "Snow White." “This is not your grandfather’s Snow White,” Ratner said. “Melisa (person with boobs who writes words on paper) went back to the 500 year old folk tale and put in some of the things that were missing from Walt Disney’s film. His dwarves were miners, and here they are robbers. There is also a dragon that was in the original folk tale. Walt made one of the great movies of all time, but ours is edgy and there is more comedy. The original, made for its time, was soft compared to what we’re going to do.” a.k.a. This sh*t is gonna be gangsta! (Deadline)Shrek – could be poisoning children with more than just his vulgar reparté. McDonald's is being forced to recall 12 million Shrek drinking glasses because they contain the toxic metal cadmium, a known carcinogen that can cause bone softening and severe kidney problems. Brett Ratner has learned to live with these conditions, so all 12 million glasses will be shipped to his mansion along with a dump truck full of golden french fries as a thank you. (Movieline)

‘Get Him To The Greek’ Actress Natalina Maggio

Friday, June 4 by

Natalina Maggio has starred in a bunch of TV shows as characters credited as "Model," "Cheerleader," "Bikini Girl," and "Persian Porn Star." In Get Him to the Greek she plays "Hot Club Dancer." If Natalina keeps climbing the ladder this quickly it won't be long before she lands the role of "Attractive Restaurant Hostess."A word from Natalina: Models and Bikini Girls don't speak in public. More reasons why Natalina plays hot girls after the jump.

Marvel Casting Round-Up: Renner In ‘Avengers,’ McDonough In ‘Captain America’

Friday, June 4 by

YAAAH-HAAWWW!!!! Pull yerselves up a rock and knock back some apple jack. We've got usselves a casting round-up, and it's gonna be a hog killin' good time.JEREMY RENNER – is in talks to play Hawkeye in Joss Whedon's Avengers. He's previously denied his involvement with the project, but he's ready to talk now that the pieces are falling into place. Will this disclude him from appearing in PT Anderson's The Master? Let's see? Dress up as the Marvel Universe's archery guy or piss off all the Scientologists in Hollywood? Here's a pile of cash and a brochure for archery lessons. (THR)NEAL McDONOUGH – is in talks to play Dum Dum Dugan in Joe Johnston's Captain America. Dugan is a member of the Howling Commandos and Nick Fury's second-in-command. I'd report further but looking at McDonough hurts my eyes. He should really be required to wear a hat in trenchcoat when out in public. Like a ninja turtle. (Deadline)

Jack Black Experiences Bondage in ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ Trailer

Friday, June 4 by

A talking rabbit once told me, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I turned that rabbit into a stew because I loathe miracles of science, but its words always stuck with me. Having said that, FOX released the trailer for the new Jack Black film Gulliver's Travels. It's based off the classic Jonathan Swift novel you haven't read, and also stars Emily Blunt, Amanda Peet, T.J. Miller, and Jason Segel. Basically a man-child goes to the Bermuda Triangle for a fluff news piece and ends up getting into an S&M type situation with little people. It's like that scene in Night at the Museum when Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan come to life, if that scene was over 90 minutes long. Your kids are gonna love it. Pack juice boxes for them and a couple Xanax for yourself. Oops, there go those mean words. Check out the trailer after the jump. Gulliver's Travels washes into theaters December 22, 2010.


Friday, June 4 by

Director: Rob LettermanCast: Jack Black, Emily Blunt, T.J. Miller, Amanda PeetSynopsis: In a contemporary re–imagining of the classic tale, Jack Black stars as Gulliver, a big–talking mailroom clerk who, after he’s mistakenly assigned a travel piece on the Bermuda Triangle, suddenly finds himself a giant among men when he washes ashore on the hidden island of Lilliput, home to a population of very tiny people.Release Date: December 22, 2010

Review: ‘Splice’

Friday, June 4 by

Splice is the latest mistake from the sci-fi horror genre, having no thrills or logic in its pseudo-hipster science.   A major disappointment comes from its talented cast of Adrien…

Sex and the City 3: Judgment Day

Friday, June 4 by

Samantha and her new bo get frisky!Just yesterday, it seemed as if Sex and the City's destruction was all but assured. With poor box-office returns, a rapidly aging cast and the death of Rue McClanahan (a.k.a. Samantha), another film seemed out of the question. But much like Skynet from the Terminator series, SATC is launching a last-ditch effort to escape oblivion by fleeing into the past.New Line has expressed interest in adapting SATC author Candace Bushnell's follow-up series, "The Carrie Diaries," into a prequel, allowing for a "new and younger-skewing collection of films." Perhaps most disturbing is the fact that Bushnell herself has expressed interest in Miley Cyrus as a possible lead.Unless we want to see Sex and the City continue to plague mankind for generations to come, this prequel must be stopped. For he who controls the past controls the future, and he who controls the present controls the past…or something like that. (CinemaBlend)

Olivia Munn Joins ‘The Daily Show’

Friday, June 4 by

In a bid to make the program more fappable, "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" has added Olivia Munn as the new "Senior Asian Correspondent." Munn appeared on last night's program to report the plight of Vietnamese fishermen effected by the spill in the Gulf. She will continue to appear throughout the coming weeks as she continues to try out for the show. I can understand Olivia's wanting to be on a show where her co-host doesn't seek every opportunity to feel her up, but I really feel like she'd fit better as the "Senior Nerd Correspondent." If anyone can get the truth out of an overweight virgin in a Destro costume, it's her. How'd she do? Check out the clip after the jump….

Daniel Craig Wants a ‘Dragon Tattoo’

Friday, June 4 by

Daniel Craig hasn't made a movie since 2008, but it looks as if his schedule is about to fill up fast. The actor best known as James Bond is close to nabbing the part of Mikael Blomkvist in David Fincher's adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. The film is the first in a three-part series based on the crime novels of Stieg Larsson, and Craig is expected to sign on for all three installments.Rumor has it that Brad Pitt was close to landing the role, but was "edged out" when a bikini-clad Craig showed up at David Fincher's house and offered to wash the director's car. Fincher filmed the wash, and was so impressed by Craig's physique the he offered him the job on the spot. True story. (Collider)

The New ‘Expendables’ Trailer Has a Nice Looking Skull, Bird

Friday, June 4 by

Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Crow.The Expendables has released its second theatrical trailer. And like any movie staring almost every living action star known to man, the film knows what the fans want to see: a crow sitting on top of the skull from Indy 4. The marketing guru's behind this ad should win a medal for their brave choice. After all, who needs to see "action" when you've got a nice looking bird to watch? Audubon Society 4 Ev-a, Dogg! (SlashFilm) Watch a bird sit on a skull and then fly away after the jump.

Captain Picard Gets Knighted

Thursday, June 3 by

Yesterday, Queen Elizabeth II knighted Patrick Stewart, which means we all have to call him Sir now. Pffffft. I'm supposed to call Bono "Sir" but you don't see that happening, do you? Hey, Streets With No Names, get your Irish ass over here and refill my Guinness!If you could so kindly click on these proper links. Sam Mendes to Direct 'On Chesil Beach'? (Moviefone)Female Bankers Who Should Be Fired for Hotness (Asylum)Zack Morris and Wife Split (PopEater)Gwyneth Paltrow Wants to Show You Her Taco (FilmDrunk)25 Sexy Pics of NBA Finals Dancers (HolyTaco)If TV and Movie Characters Ran a College (Unreality)10 Ways to Get Drunk for Free in NYC (BroBible)Asshole Rockers From Movies (Maxim)7 Most Triumphant Losses in MMA History (CagePotato)Exclusive Picture of Gary Coleman's Coffin (CelebJihad)21 Crazy Church Signs (Smosh)Determining Your Level of Degeneracy (Pajiba)Jockey Stud (Atom)Dream Job: Bomb Squad (MadeMan)How to Get Serviced Without a Girl (RegretfulMorning)