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Peter Sarsgaard Is Circus Ugly On ‘Green Lantern’ Set

Monday, May 10 by

Is that lumpy weirdo wandering around the set of Green Lantern actually Peter Sarsgaard in his Hector Hammond makeup? I certainly hope so. Otherwise, it means that years of nepotistic hiring practices within the carpenters union have finally resulted in inbreeding.If the film is faithful to the comic, Sargaard's brain will stretch and grow when exposed to radiaton from a mysterious meteorite. The side effects grant him high intelligence, psionic abilities, and immortality (large, distracting hat sold separately.).Whether this is Sarsgaard or not, we need to kill this thing with fire just to be safe. If it's skilled with a hammer, we're all dead already. We just don't know it yet. (Gordon and the Whale)

‘Just Wright’ Actress Paula Patton

Monday, May 10 by

Paula Patton plays the victim in Denzel Washington’s murder case in the film Déjà Vu.  But she’s also not the victim because she’s still alive.  Listen, I don’t have time to explain the whole space-time continuum thing right now.  Go read Stephen Hawking after you ogle Paula.A word from Paula: "Well you always joke. There’s that countdown to the sex scene. Like, 'Okay, five days until sex scene. No more carbs."I totally agree. Okay, one hour until sex scene. Finish your burrito.Check out more pics of carb-less Paula after the jump.

SJ Contest: Win ‘Daybreakers’ on Blu Ray or DVD!

Monday, May 10 by

Daybreakers is available on Blu Ray and DVD tomorrow, and Screen Junkies is giving away 5 copies! In the film, Ethan Hawke plays a vampire scientist working on a substitute for human blood before the last drop is drained from the remaining humans. Sam Neill has glowing amber eyes and Willem Dafoe wields a crossbow. What more do you want?!All you have to do is post on the SJ Facebook fan page the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.If you're not already awesome and a fan of Screen Junkies on Facebook then become one, post a caption, and you'll be entered to win. Click HERE to be whisked away to our Facebook page.Contest ends Wednesday at midnight and the winner will be announced via Facebook, Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like. Captions smeared in blood won't be accepted. Use your keyboards, people. 

Betty White’s Muffin Is ‘SNL’ Ratings Gold

Monday, May 10 by

"Saturday Night Live" is officially a hit again thanks to Betty White and her whore mouth. The Facebook-supported, hood-approved actress officially rocked it and helped the show score its highest ratings since a pre-election November 2008 episode.Many of the episode's sketches coasted by on the "Grandma says naughty words" schtick of which White is clearly a master. In fact, her muffin sketch is all anyone is talking about today as cubicles everywhere tune into "SNL" via Hulu. I hope I don't get caught by the boss but whatever. It wouldn't be the first time I was fired because of an old woman's vagina. (Reuters)

Andy Rooney Is Out of Touch

Monday, May 10 by

Andy Rooney went on "60 Minutes" last night and basically explained that he’s old as he decomposed in front of us. He doesn’t understand your Lady Gagas and your Ushers….

Jimmy Kimmel Will Air ‘Lost’ Alternate Endings

Monday, May 10 by

"Those mozzarella sticks had better be piping hot when they finally get here, or I'll pitch a real bitch-fit."In order to keep a tight lid on the secret series finale, "Lost" producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse filmed four endings for the puzzling series. Viewers who can't wait for the DVD bonus features, won't have to wait long to see them. In fact, they'll be shown about a half an hour after the credits roll and everyone has had sufficient time to shout, "Aww, what the fuh?!!!"The brass-balled Jimmy Kimmel will air the alternate endings exclusively on his "Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aloha to Lost" after the super-sized episode, with the "Lost" cast joining him in-studio. No need to stay up so late though. I've actually been tipped off to the alternate conclusions. They play out as follows:The first alternate ending has Jack returning to the mainland to find that a statue of Ben now sits in the Lincoln Memorial.Much like "The Sopranos," "Lost" will also end with a song by Journey. In this instance, "Anyway You Want It" blasts over the victory party scene after Lapidus exclaims, "We're all gonna get laid!!!"Finally, it comes to light that Hurley did actually fart that time in the van with Miles and the corpse. With a man his size eating all that undercooked boar's meat, it just makes sense that a few would slip out from time to time.(/Film)

‘Iron Man 3′ Villain: The Mandarin

Monday, May 10 by

Iron Man 2 has been in theaters for less than a week, but that didn't stop director Jon Favreau from speculating on the villain for Iron Man 3. And if Favreau has his way, Tony Stark will be taking on The Mandarin in the next installment of the popular franchise. "You've got to do The Mandarin", says the director, who has been teasing this in the films already with tiny references to the Ten Ring organization, "but the problem is, the way he's depicted in the comic books… you don't want to see that." The "problem" Favreau is referring to is the fact that the character, an evil descendant of Genghis Khan, has been criticized for being nothing more than a negative Asian stereotype. However, I have no doubt that Hollywood can work around this problem, changing the The Mandarin to a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant businessman hellbent on oppressing minorities and destroying the environment, while still maintaining the essence of the character. However, since Tony Stark is set to appear in the upcoming Avengers film, work on Iron Man 3 will have to wait until at least 2012. And if my sources inside the government are correct, by that time Hollywood will have already been destroyed in a limited nuclear exchange with the Chinese, making concern about The Mandarin a moot point. (Empire)

NBC’s ‘Outsourced’ = ‘The Office’ In India

Monday, May 10 by

Do you like "The Office"? Do you like Indians (if you are Indian, please disregard)? Then you're gonna love the new sitcom, "Outsourced," which premieres on NBC this fall.Based on the 2006 romantic comedy by the same name, the show follows the exploits of an American manager, played by Ben Rappaport, who is put in charge of a recently outsourced call center in India. According to Deadline Hollywood, the show is billed as “the Midwest meets the exotic East in a hilarious culture clash.”Wait, someone from the Midwest traveling abroad? Outrageous!I haven't been this psyched about a fish-out-of-water cultural comedy since a certain street-smart jive-talking American teamed up with a lovable Engrish-speaking Asian to bring down an international conspiracy. Of course, I'm taking about Brett Ratner's The Killing Fields.

Darth Vader’s Voice Now Available for TomTom GPS Systems

Sunday, May 9 by

Thirty-five years ago, this article's headline would have made absolutely no sense. Today, it has the power to send millions of nerds into a frenzy. TomTom has released a Darth Vader voice for their GPS system (a.k.a. nav computer). For just $13, the Sith Lord can guide you anywhere you need to go. Unfortunately, most Star Wars fans already know the way to their parents' basement, so the application is virtually useless. In addition to Vader, the voices of C-3PO, Yoda, and Han Solo are all slated to be released this summer. That's all fine and good, but I long for the day when I can type my address into my TomTom and hear the soothing voice of Jar Jar Binks tell me, "Wessa Goin' Home!" (Collider) Check out Darth Vader's TomTom recording session after the jump.

First Photos: ‘Let Me In’

Sunday, May 9 by

I don't feel all that comfortable sharing pictures of children on the Internet, but I am only here to serve and people have been eager to get a look at Matt Reeves' Let Me In. Though, for my own piece of mind, I'd like to ask that all perverts direct their lustfull eyeballs elsewhere and not at these first pics from the maligned remake of Let The Right One In. If you're willing to view responsibly, you can get a better look at Kick-Ass's Chloe Moretz as Abby the vampire girl and Kodi Smit-McPhee as her new friend Owen, in the pictures after the jump. And please sign the guestbook.

‘Iron Man 2′ Can’t Beat Batman’s Box Office

Saturday, May 8 by

Iron Man 2 opened in first place on Friday night, earning an estimated $52 million, easily surpassing Alice in Wonderland with the biggest debut of 2010. But when it comes to superhero movies, Batman still reigns supreme at the box office.While weekend projections for IM2 are an impressive $135 million, it's a far cry from the $158.4 million brought in by The Dark Knight, which holds the all-time first weekend record.I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise. Batman could clearly beat Iron Man in a fight. Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are both geniuses and millionaire playboys, but Bruce Wayne is motivated by an unquenchable thirst for vengeance. And as we all know, vengeance is a powerful motivator. Just ask my old high-school nemesis, Joseph Sinclair. I showed him…him and that wife of his. (Collider)

Toby Jones Cast in ‘Captain America’

Saturday, May 8 by

What is it with people and their five fingers?Toby Jones is in final negotiations to play villain Armin Zola in Captain America: The First Avenger. Title not look familiar? That's because it used to be The First Avenger: Captain America. Give yourself a few days to adjust. Like when your parents got divorced.The British actor is best known for playing Truman Capote in Infamous, Karl Rove in W., and the grocery clerk with a penchant for gun slinging in The Mist. He'll be joining Hugo Weaving, who's already been cast as Red Skull, in an effort to give Captain America a really tough time. Jones' character, Armin Zola, is a scientific genius specializing in genetics and cloning. So don't be surprised when a herd of two-headed sheep stampede an entire city. (/Film)

Photobomb Fridays: ‘Norma Rae’ + Protesters

Friday, May 7 by

**Honk honk honk!!!**Here are your weekend links.Terrence Howard to Play Nelson Mandela (Moviefone) Intimate Gymnastics Will Pump You Up (Asylum)Top Celebrity Commencement Speeches of All Time (PopEater)25 Worst Moms Ever (HolyTaco)RPattz & KStew Make It Official (FilmDrunk)When Adult Cartoon Series Collide (Unreality)Wrestling Backflip Fail (TotalProSports)10 Best Movie Cliffhangers (Maxim)BJ Penn Is Still a -365 Favorite (CagePotato)Miss USA Disgraces Her Country (CelebJihad)10 Best Twictures (Smosh)Gwyneth Paltrow Career Assessment (Pajiba)Iron Manly (Atom)13 Ways to Ruin a Date (MadeMan)Showtime Southern 500 Odds (AllLeftTurns)

‘Inception’ Full Trailer Gives Full Chubby

Friday, May 7 by

Inception set up a viral game called Mind Crime that if you beat it you could watch the new trailer for the film. Well guess what? Screw that noise! Someone else played that shiz and now we're all reaping the benefits. The new trailer looks downright awesome. I still have no idea what the F is going on, but I WANT to know, and someone once told me that's a win on the marketing side of things. This film looks like a serious trip, and with Christoper Nolan behind the wheel I have no doubt the destination will be Giddyland. I'll bring the diapers if you bring the Sour Patch Kids. Check out the trailer after the jump. Inception gets inside theaters and your mind July 15.

First Pics of Gary Busey Spawn!

Friday, May 7 by

Hey everyone, meet Luke Sampson Busey! Proud papa Gary Busey introduced his 10-week-old son on Thursday evening's "Entertainment Tonight." Girlfriend Steffanie Sampson is the person responsible for bringing another Busey into the world on Feb. 23. My sources tell me world leaders are gathering at a secret summit this evening to decide how to proceed.

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