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Google Street View Captures New Captain America

Thursday, March 18 by

It appears the new Captain America has been cast. We're not sure who he is, but it appears when he's not murdering Nazis he enjoys kicking back at Pierhead Restaurant & Bar with Ghostrider, The Flash, Mr. Incredible, The Hulk, and no less than TWO Robins. Superheros should learn to be more secretive about where they go to get sh*tfaced. Google is ALWAYS watching. (BleedingCool)Don't let Google see you with these links.Betty White Calls Sarah Palin a Crazy Bitch (Moviefone)Former Manhattan Madame Runs for Governor (Asylum)Meet Jesse James' Tattooed Mistress (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Round 2, Day 1 (HolyTaco)George Lucas Doing Star Wars for Babies (FilmDrunk)Ten 90s Crushes All Grown Up (Unreality)Top 10 Sexts Tiger Sent to Joslyn James (TotalProSports)Best Beach Bodies (Maxim)Anteaters are F*cking Awesome (Smosh)Jessica Alba Shows Serious Cleavage (CelebJihad)UFC Live: Vera vs. Jones (CagePotato)Let's Discuss Space Boners (Pajiba)March Madness Girl (Atom)Winning March Madness Picks (MadeMan)How Do Cars Become Airborne (AllLeftTurns)5 Reasons Your Gaming System is Better than your Girlfriend (RegretfulMorning)

Are Oprah and E.T. Lost Soulmates?

Thursday, March 18 by

The resemblance is uncanny.

‘The Expendables’ Posters Are Brilliantly Bad-Ass

Thursday, March 18 by

Two posters for Stallone's The Expendables were presented at ShoWest and they've refortified my testicles after the damage they sustained from watching the Eat, Pray, Love trailer. The first shows a chrome skull adorned with gun/knife wings (and bullet poops?). It can only be accurately described as "visual Pantera." The second isn't as cool. It's an Ed Hardyized picture of what Stallone would look like as a back tatt. Sandra Bullock would be wise to lock it away before her husband tries to have sex with it. (Collider)

P.M.S. a Side-Effect of Viewing ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ Trailer

Thursday, March 18 by

This is how demons mate. In the trailer for Eat, Pray, Love, Julia Roberts goes on a quest under the Tuscan Indian sun to get her groove back. Except she puts pizza inside of her instead of Taye Diggs. The movie is based on the best-selling memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer who decided to pig out and travel for a year. Much like Vince Vaughn did when he decided to make Couple's Retreat.  Watch the trailer at your own risk. I just did and it caused me to have my first period. Great, there is seriously period all over the place now. I've never seen so much period. I'm gonna need like a million Tampax. Devour the trailer after the jump…

‘Repo Men’ Actress Alice Braga

Thursday, March 18 by

Alice Braga first came to America's attention when she starred as sexy, tan Angelica in City of God. She then went on to fight CGI zombie things with Will Smith in I Am Legend. I'd take Brazilian drug dealers over poorly rendered CGI villains any day.   A word from Alice: "I love my country, but I'm not very Brazilian at all." Yeah, you're right. Your butt could be bigger. More pics of Alice's Brazilian form after the jump.

Exclusive Hot Tub Time Machine NSFW Clip

Thursday, March 18 by

Screen Junkies has been given an exlusive sneak peak of Rob Corddry and Clark Duke in a red band threeway. Don't worry, there's a chick involved, and it's from their upcoming movie Hot Tub Time Machine, not some grainy, stolen sex tape. The scene perfectly portrays the overall tone of the film. It's fun, raunchy, and chock full of set pieces that will have you grinning to LOLing.  Be sure to check back next week for my on camera interviews with the film's stars Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, and Crispin Glover. But for right now, enjoy the ménage a trois below. Hot Tube Time Machine materializes in theaters Friday, March 26.

‘Pirates of the Caribbean 4′ on a Quest for Real Boobies

Thursday, March 18 by

Jesse Jane need not apply.Best. Casting. Call. Ever. Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides is looking for a few young ladies with very specific measurements and a fine pair of naturals. Attention all you beautiful-types, if your chesticles stand upright when you're on your backside you need to find another way to fulfill your pirate fantasies. Here is the actual casting breakdown:Beautiful Female Fit Models. Must be 5'7-5'8, Size 4 or 6 – NO BIGGER OR SMALLER. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. MUST have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants. This is a show and tell of costumes with the director and the producers. Plan on an entire day of trying on clothes and being photographed.Professional Dancers who are Swimmers. Females ONLY. Age 18-30. All ethnicities. YOU MUST have an extensive dance/swimming resume. We will be shooting in Hawaii.Score one for the girls with high self-esteem! You've shyed away from the temptation of augmentation and look what the universe has delivered in return. You might get to walk through the background of a crowded bar while Johnny Depp stumbles and mumbles to Penelope Cruz in the foreground. Sure, no one will pay a lick of attention to you, but you'll know you helped grant the scene realism. And nice naturals.On that note, may I make a casting suggestion?Now imagine Rosie Jones in a corset. (Moviehole)

Ivan Reitman Not on ‘Ghostbusters 3′?

Thursday, March 18 by

No one is really sure what the deal is with Ghostbusters 3. If you listen to Ivan Reitman, Dan Aykroyd, or Harold Ramis, it's moving ahead. If you listen to Bill Murray, it's his nightmare and he wants nothing to do with it. The only thing we know for certain is Reitman is attached to direct. But now comes word that Columbia Pictures wants a younger director on the project (ie: somebody who didn't direct My Super Ex-Girlfriend). From Vulture:"Reitman's old contract still gives him exceptional creative control over the series, including director approval. Therefore, while it’s true that Reitman can’t force Columbia to make Ghostbusters 3 with him, he can make it nearly impossible for the studio to make the film without him." "In fact, a source tells" [Vulture] "that Reitman and all three original principals (Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, and Harold Ramis … sorry, Ernie Hudson!) have a deal that says that if any of the four of them don’t like any element of a new Ghostbusters, they can singlehandedly veto and kill the project; it has to be unanimously approved before going forward."Personally, I think it's unlikely we'll ever see another Ghostbusters movie and I'm okay with that. The original two were a great film and an okay sequel that shouldn't exist outside of the 1980's, and the thought of a new generation of Ghostbusters sounds completely lame. The last thing we need to see is the cast of She's Out of My League strapping on proton packs.

‘Lost’ Cast Can’t Get Enough Cake

Wednesday, March 17 by

Here's a video of some of the actors from "Lost" saying "Mmm…cake." When the women do it I get horny and hungry at the same time. Good thing I've got my Sarah Lee sex doll on hand. Nobody DOES do it like Sarah Lee…Mmm…links.John Cusack in the Rain Montage (Moviefone)Sweet Artwork on a Bald Head (Asylum)Tina Fey Goes Wild in Esquire Photo Shoot (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Round 1, Day 2 (HolyTaco)'Clash of the Titans' Poster Vandalism (FilmDrunk)Emperor Palpatine is Chillin' with His Bros (Unreality)Obama's Bracket Has Kansas Taking the Title (TotalProSports)St. Patty's Day Drinking Map (Maxim)12 Examples of Poor Body Painting (Smosh)12 Anti-Irish Cartoons for St. Patty's Day (CelebJihad)Jon Jones Has Some Tricks to Show Off (CagePotato)Code Monkeys Like Fritos (Pajiba)Banned Heartburn Commercial (Atom)Buy Your Own Kidnapping (MadeMan)LOL Race Pics: The Incredible Carl (AllLeftTurns)

First Pic of Dwayne “Don’t Call Me The Rock Anymore” Johnson in ‘Faster’

Wednesday, March 17 by

USA Today premiered the first production still of the action movie Faster starring Dwayne Johnson, the wrestler with the eyebrow thing. The Rock (Ooooopsie!) plays “an ex-con pursued by cops and killers as he sets out to avenge his brother’s death.” The film also stars Billy Bob Thornton, Carla Gugino, and Moon Bloodgood. Now I can think of two reasons to see this film that each have two reasons to see this film. And no, I'm not talking about testicles.The tag for Faster is "Revenge is the only thing that drives him." Thought provoking stuff, but I think that this guy would disagree:Show your chauffeur some respect Dwaaaayne. (/Film)

Ben Foster Bites Jason Statham’s Style in ‘The Mechanic’ Trailer

Wednesday, March 17 by

The trailer for The Mechanic has all the hallmarks of a Jason Statham film — cars, guns, explosions, unintelligle growl-mumbles, and the Cowgirl Position. A remake of the 1972 original, Statham steps into the Charles Bronson role. Except in this version, women aren't disgusted by the thought of touching the lead actor. Ben Foster co-stars as his ward in the killing people for money game, which appears to be an industry where you don't want the other guy knowing your trade secrets. Much like blogging (nothing like blogging). The film opens December 15th and also stars Donald Sutherland and Christa Campbell, who you more than likely know from the very important film, Cool Dog.  Watch the trailer after the jump….

Rose McGowan Joins ‘Conan’, Peace-Outties on ‘Red Sonja’?

Wednesday, March 17 by

Nerds have been on the verge of bonerdom since the above Red Sonja poster was released at Comic-Con in 2008. The status of that project has been unknown since then because Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez aren't banging genitals together anymore. Today, news that the actress has been cast in the Conan remake may finally trumpet that project's demise.McGowan has signed on to play a half-woman/half-witch opposite Fake Lenny Kravitz in Marcus Nispel's remake. Does this mean that Red Sonja is officially D.O.A. or does her agent only hang out with geeks and this role will serve as a taste of things to come? As of right now, it's too soon to tell if she will follow Brigitte Nielsen's career path or what the status is of her sleeping with Lil Wayne in season 26 of "The Surreal Life." (Variety)

‘Greenberg’ Actress Brie Larson

Wednesday, March 17 by

Brie Larson sings some songs that I think tweens listen to while sipping virgin pina coladas, but you may better recognize her as the angsty daughter on The United States of Tara. Her character is a bratty teen who I want to slap in the mouth and send to her room. Then I silently stifle the quiver of excitement that rushes down my spine.A word from Brie: "I feel so much better just being comfortable with myself and hopefully girls will accept that."Quit letting your publicist whisper jibber jabber in your ear and just inject those toxins in your face already.Brie is all natural (so far) after the jump.

‘The Other Guys’ Teaser Trailer

Wednesday, March 17 by

Someone at ShoWest snagged some footage of the new Adam McKay directed comedy The Other Guys starring Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell. I'm really digging how Marky Mark is the Cash to Ferrell's Tango. Sure, Wahlberg is playing another ramrod cop, but don't fix it if it ain't broke, yaknowwhatI'msayin'? And Ferrell wears glasses in this film, which I haven't seen him sport in awhile. As long as he doesn't do the whole man-child act again, I'll sit in another darkened theater with him. Here's some context for all you brainiacs:

‘Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’ Teaser Poster Rips Into Unnecessary Bass Solo

Wednesday, March 17 by

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World follows Michael Cera as he battles the seven evil ex-boyfriends to win the girl of his dreams. That's a weird approach to romance. "Oh hey. I beat the crap out of all your exes. You're mine now." [honks boob]Anyway, the teaser poster premiered at ShoWest and it depicts Michael Cera hunched over a bass guitar like a homeless person hunched over their own crippling hunger. Either that or he's just been kicked in the nuts. Hmmm, Michael Cera Kicked in the Nuts. After sitting through Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and Paper Heart, that's a movie I'd pay to see. (ComingSoon)

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