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Paramont Buys Rights to ‘Last Man Standing’ (Not Starring Bruce Willis)

Thursday, August 12 by

Paramount Pictures has purchased the rights to Last Man Standing, SlashFilm is reporting. No, not the 1996 Bruce Willis flop, but rather the upcoming graphic novel by Daniel LuVisi.

The comic, which isn't due out until September, was purchased from Heavy Metal Publishing, which is owned by Kevin Eastman, co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The story chronicles the adventures of Gabriel, a genetically modified super-soldier who is framed as a mass murderer by a terrorist organization.
I don't blame you if your natural inclination is to draw parallels between this story and the current Mel Gibson frame-up we're watching unfold, but the book predates the Gibson incident, so any similarities are purely coincidental.
FREE MEL!

‘Old Spice Guy’ to Star in Drag Queen Fetish Film With Tyler Perry

Thursday, August 12 by

The Old Spice Guy, a.k.a. Isaiah Mustafa, has parlayed his recent popularity into a budding film career. First, he landed a smaller role in Horrible Bosses. Now comes word that Mustafa has landed a larger role in the upcoming Tyler Perry film, Madea's Big Happy Family.

The film is reportedly a drag queen flick that fetishizes fat old women and strong, supportive black families. Mustafa will co-star alongside Perry, who will play the drag queen in question, and Lil Bow Wow, who will play the guy who is lucky to be working. (Empire Online)

Prediction: ‘Avatar’ Will Never Get Made

Thursday, August 12 by

Your story checks out, James. Let's hope you were wrong about Skynet.
If there's one thing I love in this world, it's eating a nice big meal and then heading home to drop a deuce. If there's a second thing I love, it's Avatar. That's why my head almost exploded when I saw this picture. It manages to combine my love of Avatar and my love of defecation in a humorous and timely manner.

For those of you who don't know, the photo is from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, the Rolls-Royce of bathroom periodicals. This particular page from back in 1999 confirms James Cameron's long held assertion that he had to wait so long to make Avatar because technology had to catch up to his vision. I guess he isn't a pompous windbag after all, at least not in this instance.

Although, as someone on a comment board pointed out, this is James Cameron.  He could have easily sent one of his robots back in time to add that page. (Film Drunk)

‘Inception’ Ice Cream Truck Mows Guy Down

Wednesday, August 11 by

Someone added the Inception score to this video of a guy getting nailed by an ice cream truck. I'm hoping it was the kick he needed to snap him back to reality so he quits acting like an idiot and dancing in traffic.
Don't get blindsided by these links.

'At The Movies' Hosts On Show's Final Week (Moviefone)
Cocaine Trafficker Survives 21 Bullet Wounds (Asylum)
Top 10 Most Violent Movie Theatre Attacks (Ranker)
5 College Majors That Still Suck (HolyTaco)
'Anchorman' Is AFI's Number One Of All Time (FilmDrunk)
A Tribute To The Ultimate Instigators (Maxim)
Brooklyn Pizza Shop Getting Evicted (BarStoolSports)
9 Underrated Spider-Man Stories (EgoTV)
10 Overhyped Movies Before They Were Even Released (Pajiba)
What's Wrong With Kids Today (Unreality)
Kid Breaks Arm, Toughs It Out For Contest(TotalProSports)
Check Out The Booty Pop! (Smosh)
11 Greatest Fast Food Fights And Freakouts (BroBible)
Bar Refaeli Mossad Bikini Pics (CelebJihad)
The Ladies Will Have To Work Extra Fast At Friday's Strikeforce (CagePotato)
Meet Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Fire-Spinnin' Brother, Dan (PopEater)
Win The Wedding Party Dance Off (MadeMen)
Countdown To 'The Expendables', Day 3: 'Nighthawks' (MovieHopping)

AMC Officially Picks Up ‘The Killing’

Wednesday, August 11 by

AMC has officially picked up the crime thriller the "The Killing" to series. It will join the line-up of "Mad Men," "Rubicon," "Breaking Bad," and "The Walking Dead," the Frank Darabont zombie series that you and I both can't wait to premiere in October. The show will be renamed, and run by creator/executive producer Veena Sud.
Set in Seattle, the series is based on the wildly successful Danish television series “Forbrydelsen” and tells the story of the murder of a young girl and the subsequent police investigation. Production on the series begins this fall in Vancouver and season one consists of 13, one-hour episodes. The series is slated to premiere in 2011 on AMC.
If you're intrigued, you can read the rest of the press release after the jump. And just FYI, Keanu Reeves doesn't star in it. Awww, don't be sad. Put that sandwich down and get off of that bench.

‘Firefappers’…Coming Soon

Wednesday, August 11 by

That's not going to put it out, you guys.

Zach Galifianakis Smiles for the ‘Due Date’ Poster

Wednesday, August 11 by

What up with Zach Galifianakis's face in this new poster for Due Date? I don't think I've ever seen the man smile. It doesn't even look like he willingly smiled for this picture. The artist must have turned his frown upside down with the "Smile" Photoshop pluggin. You should totally download it.
The best part of the poster is the friggin' adorable French Bulldog. Look at that g.d. thing. I want to smoosh its precious little face until it's mush, which is the main reason I'm on PETA's sh*tlist. (Yahoo)

Paramount Bids ‘Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick’

Wednesday, August 11 by

Paramount has scooped up the rights to the not-yet-published young adult novel Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick. The story follows a high school student who gets stuck with a homely and boring European exchange student who turns out to be secretly hot. And also an assassin.
If that sounds like "Chuck" to you, then you have a promising future in Hollywood. "Chuck" creator Josh Schwartz has been attached to develop the concept. Speaking of Chuck, this sounds a lot like Palahniuk's novel Pygmy. So imagine Pygmy meets I Love You, Beth Cooper, minus the social commentary. And Hayden Panettiere. (Deadline)

Daily Expendable: Jet Li

Wednesday, August 11 by

Know for lightning quick reflexes and amazing acrobatic stunts, Jet Li is one Expendable not to mess with. While stateside we've seen Li play more of the standard stone cold killer types in War, Romeo Must Die, and Lethal Weapon 4, over in his native China, Li is far more badass. Just check out his amazing work in Once Upon a Time in China, Hero, or Fist of Legend for a good action smack in the teeth.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Wong Fei-hung in Once Upon a Time in China trilogy
Weird Fact: When he was 11-years-old he won a trip to Washington D.C. to  meet President Richard Nixon after becoming the Chinese National Champion in Wushu martial arts.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

‘Middle Men’ Actress Claudia Jordan

Wednesday, August 11 by

 
Claudia Jordan, a former "The Price is Right" and "Deal or No Deal" model, shows off her east coast beauty in this month's Middle Men. Her blink or miss it performance doesn't do her justice but you can bet on all your Plinko chips that she'll be showing off her stuff with more projects in the future.
A word from Claudia: "I am the queen head doctor."
I'm going to assume you're referring to psychology and not felatio, only because we're not allowed to discuss the latter in detail on this site.
More pics of Claudia after the jump…

Now There’s This: ‘HALKa’, The Bangladeshi ‘Incredible Hulk’

Wednesday, August 11 by

Today the Internet has lovingly delivered us this trailer for HALKa, the Bangladeshi attempt at capturing the legend of the Incredible Hulk. I don't believe that, "Say whaaaaaaaaa?!," begins to cover it.
This trailer tells the classic story of the Hulk's origin: being publicly sodomized with a pick-axe by bullies to the point that Bruce Banner invents an Incredible Hulk potion using beakers and Doogie Howser's computer. He then goes on to fight his greatest enemy, Guy With Bicycle With Guns On It. Whatever, the trailer looks amazing. It's even more trippy than Enter The Void.
Just see for yourself after the jump…

Sofia Vergara Won’t Shut Up About Sex

Wednesday, August 11 by

Sofia Vergara let the Freudian slips fly on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" last night. Actually, it all started earlier in the day when Sofia tweeted that she was excited to "do Kimmel" that night. Except she meant "do" as in appear on, not "do" as in bang.
In trying to defend herself on the show, she kept accidentally rambling on and on about sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex. Does the woman think of nothing else? Before we know it she's going to convince Christina Hendricks that they should do a topless photoshoot together. It sickens me! **Mother pulls ear away from bedroom door. Google "Modern Family/Mad Men" fan fiction**
Check out the euphemisms after the jump…

Review: ‘Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’

Wednesday, August 11 by

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World PG-13, 105m., 2010 Cast: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kerian Culken, Mark Webber, Alison Pill, with Brandon Routh and Jason Schwartzman Directed by Edgar Wright…

Scarlett Johansson and Blake Lively Sparring It Out For ‘Gravity’ Lead

Wednesday, August 11 by

It was rumored last week that Blake Lively was making a play for the role of sexy astronaut in Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity. However, it's been expected that role was Scarlett Johansson's for the taking. Well, now it's official that both ladies are pushing for the part, with reports that they both have tested for the role.
Will this create a rift between the two? Will that rift involve wrestling?? Hopefully. We'll let you know if and when Pay-Per-View tickets for the event go on sale. Gravity is said to be a really ambitious, experimental film that would require a lot from whichever actress lands the part. Neither Johansson or Lively have carried a film of this magnitude to date, but both are ready to step up. Personally, I'm really torn. Either would be super-convincing as an astronaut. (THR)

‘The Hangover’ Funded Mike Tyson’s Drug Habit

Wednesday, August 11 by

The Playlist has alerted us to an interview with Mike Tyson that is as candid as you'd expect from the man who once threatened to "f*ck you until you love him." It all came about when Mike wandered into a Las Vegas radio station unexpectedly after a trip to the dentist. If you're familiar with David After The Dentist, you know that you're in for a treat. Here are some of my favorite parts.
On The Hangover:
“I was doing that to supply my drug habit. I’m sorry I’m coming at you guys like this… I said, ‘Wow, This is going to be really good. We’re going to sell this stuff on 42nd street on bootleg and make a lot of money.’ This is my best thinking on drugs… It wasn’t that way. It was an international success."
On becoming a Vegan:
“I became a Vegan. Vegan is where no animal products. No livestock products. Nothing."
On his slow-transformation to vampirism:
"My personal life is so isolated right now. I don’t go anywhere unless I’m invited." (except for when he wanders into radio stations of course. – Ed.)
And on the arduous task of wiping one's butt when weighing 350 lbs:
“It was hard to wipe my butt… I was sweating like some kind of guy from a moon project or something."
Awesome. MTV needs to find a way to get him into the "Jersey Shore" house. (ESPN Radio)

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