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Funny Hats Galore in Luc Besson’s ‘Adele Blanc-Sec’ Trailer!

Friday, March 19 by

The full-length trailer for Luc Besson's Les Aventures Extraordinaires d'Adele Blanc-Sec gives us a really in-depth look at whatever the hell this is. All I really know about it is that it stars hot weather girl turned actress Louise Bourgoin and a pterodactyl. Commercials in France are awesome. I'd love to see how they'd market Easy Curves. Here's a description from Twitch: The year is 1912. Adèle Blanc-Sec, an intrepid young reporter, will go to any lengths to achieve her aims, including sailing to Egypt to tackle mummies of all shapes and sizes. Meanwhile, in Paris, it's panic stations! A 136 million-year old pterodactyl egg on a shelf in the natural history museum has mysteriously hatched, and the bird subjects the city to a reign of terror from the skies. But nothing fazes Adèle Blanc-Sec, whose adventures reveal many more extraordinary surprises… Oh. I guess the trailer makes sense now. Doesn't explain all the funny hats though. (Twitch) Check out -0:24 for a flash of NSFW action. After the jump…

Bateman Plays with Semen, Aniston in ‘The Switch’ Trailer

Friday, March 19 by

Note to Jennifer Aniston: put your cups of semen away when you're done with them. If you don't, Jason Bateman will get drunk, perform impromptu experiments, and your hopes of fertilization will go rushing down the drain. …Or will it? In the trailer for The Switch, formally known as The Baster, Bateman plays a humdrum mope named Wally who switches Patrick Wilson's love juice out with his own. Here, come closer. **Hushed tone** See, the only thing is though, Aniston's character was planning on using that love juice to conceive a child. So then guess what happens. She uses WALLY'S love juice instead. Then guess what happens! She has a kid! THEN GUESS WHAT HAPPENS!!! COMEDY!!!!!!!!! The film is directed by Josh Gordon & Will Speck, the same guys who did Blades of Glory, and also stars Jeff Goldblum as the same best friend character he played to Hugh Grant in Nine Months. Why do people continually listen to Goldblum's advice? The man has absolutely nothing of reason to offer. Check out the trailer after the jump. The Switch inserts itself in theaters August 20th, 2010.

The Switch

Friday, March 19 by

Directors: Josh Gordon & Will SpeckCast: Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick WilsonSynopsis: An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order to become pregnant. Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend, who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own.Release Date: August 20, 2010

Another Final ‘Final Destination’ “Finally” in Development

Friday, March 19 by

Much like with inbreeding, The Final Destination series has degraded in quality with each film. The first was a unique twist on the horror genre, the second compensated for its weak story with impressive gore sequences, the third happened, and the NASCAR-based fourth installment was the film equivalent of a mongoloid. BUT it was a 3D mongoloid and 3D equals big box office.With that being said, Warner Bros. head bro Alan Horn announced at ShoWest that a fifth installment of the franchise will be breathing through its mouth in the near future. Why? "Because we couldn't resist," according to Horn.No details yet on who will direct or which sexy teens will be cast, but that's fine because you probably won't know who the hell they are anyway. (/Film)

‘Repo Men’ Actress Carice van Houten

Friday, March 19 by

Carice van Houten is a Dutch stage and film actress. She looks great both with and without clothes in Paul Verhoeven's Black Book. It's clear that Verhoeven appreciates a stellar rack, and Carice is no exception. Don't worry, I think she's a fine actress, too. I'm not a COMPLETE pig. A word from Carice: "I have seen Hollywood, and although I have nothing against it, it's not my kind of life."You're clearly not doing enough illegal subtances when you're in town. The glitz and glamour become a lot more appealing with some booger sugar up in ya. Appreciate the Dutch more after the jump.

Jennifer Lopez to Star in ‘Overboard’ Remake

Friday, March 19 by

I've got some good news and some bad news. Good news is that Jennifer Lopez is finally going to suffer the head trauma we've all been wishing upon her. Bad news is that it's going to be fake movie head trauma. From THR:Jennifer Lopez is in talks to star in the remake of the romantic comedy "Overboard," which Overbrook is producing for Columbia. The 1987 movie, which starred Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and was directed by Garry Marshall, centered on a snooty, spoiled woman who falls off her yacht and is taken to the hospital by a local, morally challenged carpenter. When she wakes up with amnesia, he convinces her she is his wife, thereby getting a free housekeeper for his four boys.Putting laugh-a-minute Lopez in a comedy is a great idea because that always turns out so well. But I don't see her becoming this character. Sure, the snooty, spoiled part should be old hat for her but the housekeeping? This will be the first time that Hollywood employs a stunt double to vacuum. (THR)

UPDATED: Tim Burton to Further Tim Burtonify ‘Addams Family’

Friday, March 19 by

Update: Tim Burton's people (ghouls in suits) told MTV, and I'm paraphrasing, "This rumor is bullsh*t! Oogie boogie!" They then quickly dug a hole in the earth and jumped in. But seriously, he isn't doing this movie.To further prove his dominance over the Curlz MT font, Tim Burton has signed on to adapt The Addams Family into a 3D, stop-motion film as is his way. One has to wonder if he was more attracted to the source material or the big box office raked in by a 3D version of an established franchise. Given his track record these last few years, I'd say he's more attracted to long green than pale flesh.The characters will be based upon the drawings of Charles Addams that frequently appeared in The New Yorker and despite what you may or may not have heard this is in no way an attempt to punk out The Addams Family and Addams Family Values director Barry Sonnenfeld. He took care of that himself by directing Big Trouble. (Deadline)

10 Actors Who are TV Cancer

Friday, March 19 by

Whatever deal Tyler Perry made with the devil apparently doesn’t extend to every actor in the biz. I'm talking about the kind of people in this group of cursed thesps/models pretending to act. I have even heard about a law being proposed that if you have had more than two TV shows cancelled, you are banned for life from participation in a TV show again. I heard about it because I personally submitted it to Congress under the name Mayor McFartcheese. I haven't been contacted yet.Without futher ado, here are ten actors who are television cancer:Blair Underwood

Platinum Dunes and Rob Cohen Get ‘Monster Squad’ Back Together

Friday, March 19 by

Michael Bay and Platinum Dunes have incensed a number of horror fans with their Abercrombie & Fitch approach to remaking The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher, Friday the 13th, and potentially A Nightmare on Elm Street. And now they've got their sites set on incensing horror comedy fans with the announcement they've teamed with Rob Cohen for his long-gestating remake of The Monster Squad, the Fred Dekker cult classic that is fondly remembered by all children of the 1980's. The director of Stealth may seem like an odd choice to helm the picture but he actually produced the original. A movie fact that I did not know and probably the reason I'll never make it to the Scene-It nationals. The movie tells the story of a group of kids banding together to stop Dracula from assembling all the legendary monsters in his quest to take over the world. Surprisingly I'm not too bitter about this news, only because I think the idea of a Michael Bay/Rob Cohen exxxtreme take on The Monster Squad is hysterical. This time around it will be discovered that not only does Wolfman got nards, but also a pretty gnarly Prince Albert piercing. (Deadline)

Who’s Your Daddy Now, ‘Predators’ Trailer?

Thursday, March 18 by

Brody faces off with a Predator disco ball. Now you all can finally see what those lucky f*cks at SXSW saw last Saturday. I'm considering being on board for this new Predators installment, but I can't yet fully commit. I have to first suspend my disbelief that Adrian Brody can play a mercenary (isn't that nose a hazard in the field?), and that Lawrence Fishburne can't stop a Predator cold in its tracks by simply shooting it the stink-eye. Here's your context from IGN:  Brody plays Royce, a mercenary who reluctantly leads a group of elite warriors who come to realize they've been brought together on an alien planet… as prey. With the exception of a disgraced physician, they are all cold-blooded killers – mercenaries, Yakuza, convicts, death squad members – human "predators" that are now being systemically hunted and eliminated by a new breed of alien Predators. Yakuza and death squad members finally working together. And they say progress isn't being made in the world. Isn't that right, Walton Goggins? Walton: "Who's your daddy now?!" Man, I hope his character dies in the first act… Check out the trailer after the jump. Predators rips theaters a new asshole July 7.

Google Street View Captures New Captain America

Thursday, March 18 by

It appears the new Captain America has been cast. We're not sure who he is, but it appears when he's not murdering Nazis he enjoys kicking back at Pierhead Restaurant & Bar with Ghostrider, The Flash, Mr. Incredible, The Hulk, and no less than TWO Robins. Superheros should learn to be more secretive about where they go to get sh*tfaced. Google is ALWAYS watching. (BleedingCool)Don't let Google see you with these links.Betty White Calls Sarah Palin a Crazy Bitch (Moviefone)Former Manhattan Madame Runs for Governor (Asylum)Meet Jesse James' Tattooed Mistress (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Round 2, Day 1 (HolyTaco)George Lucas Doing Star Wars for Babies (FilmDrunk)Ten 90s Crushes All Grown Up (Unreality)Top 10 Sexts Tiger Sent to Joslyn James (TotalProSports)Best Beach Bodies (Maxim)Anteaters are F*cking Awesome (Smosh)Jessica Alba Shows Serious Cleavage (CelebJihad)UFC Live: Vera vs. Jones (CagePotato)Let's Discuss Space Boners (Pajiba)March Madness Girl (Atom)Winning March Madness Picks (MadeMan)How Do Cars Become Airborne (AllLeftTurns)5 Reasons Your Gaming System is Better than your Girlfriend (RegretfulMorning)

Are Oprah and E.T. Lost Soulmates?

Thursday, March 18 by

The resemblance is uncanny.

‘The Expendables’ Posters Are Brilliantly Bad-Ass

Thursday, March 18 by

Two posters for Stallone's The Expendables were presented at ShoWest and they've refortified my testicles after the damage they sustained from watching the Eat, Pray, Love trailer. The first shows a chrome skull adorned with gun/knife wings (and bullet poops?). It can only be accurately described as "visual Pantera." The second isn't as cool. It's an Ed Hardyized picture of what Stallone would look like as a back tatt. Sandra Bullock would be wise to lock it away before her husband tries to have sex with it. (Collider)

P.M.S. a Side-Effect of Viewing ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ Trailer

Thursday, March 18 by

This is how demons mate. In the trailer for Eat, Pray, Love, Julia Roberts goes on a quest under the Tuscan Indian sun to get her groove back. Except she puts pizza inside of her instead of Taye Diggs. The movie is based on the best-selling memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer who decided to pig out and travel for a year. Much like Vince Vaughn did when he decided to make Couple's Retreat.  Watch the trailer at your own risk. I just did and it caused me to have my first period. Great, there is seriously period all over the place now. I've never seen so much period. I'm gonna need like a million Tampax. Devour the trailer after the jump…

‘Repo Men’ Actress Alice Braga

Thursday, March 18 by

Alice Braga first came to America's attention when she starred as sexy, tan Angelica in City of God. She then went on to fight CGI zombie things with Will Smith in I Am Legend. I'd take Brazilian drug dealers over poorly rendered CGI villains any day.   A word from Alice: "I love my country, but I'm not very Brazilian at all." Yeah, you're right. Your butt could be bigger. More pics of Alice's Brazilian form after the jump.

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