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Michael Fassbender To Lay The Smackdown on ‘X-Men’ or ‘Spider-Man’

Tuesday, June 8 by

Michael Fassbender is slated to be Comic-Con royalty one way or another. After breaking out big in Inglourious Basterds and The Hunger, Fassbender is now being eyed both for Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class and Sony/Marc Webb's Spider-Man reboot. However, according to Showbiz411, he can only do one.If he chooses X-Men, he'd know full well how f***ing magnets work as he'd be playing Magneto opposite James McAvoy's Professor X. Should he choose the Spider-Man reboot, he'd play an unspecified villian who squares off against a teen-aged Peter Parker. I'd prefer to see him as Magneto, as he's an all-around great character whose extreme actions you can sympathize with. The most compelling villain in the Spider-Man universe dresses like an octopus.

The Lowercase a-Team

Tuesday, June 8 by

Joe Carnahan's The A-Team comes out this Friday. We'll be posting our review later in the week, but there's one thing I can tell you right now about the film: there are absolutely no midgets in it. Not even one. Luckily, Break remade the famous intro and cast little people as Hannibal, Face, Murdock, and B.A. It's big on action, short on stature. Check out The Lowercase a-Team after the jump.

‘Killers’ Actress Elena Kolpachikova

Tuesday, June 8 by

Elena Kolpachikova was born on the Black Sea in Yalta Ukraine, which sounds like a superhero origin story. She worked as a model in Europe for High Fashion designers, then moved to New York and graduated from the Lee Strasberg Institute and NYU film school, started her acting career and moved to Los Angeles. Beauty AND brains, fellas. Raise your hand if you're intimidated. More pics of the Elena a.k.a. The Complete Package after the jump.

You Can Be in ‘Titanic 2′! Mermaid Experience Preferred.

Tuesday, June 8 by

Sooooo someone's making Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors. There's a casting call for it on Craigslist, which means I can only assume it's absolutely legit. You want to audition? Shave and oil your legs and slip those flippers on for your big shot on July 1st and 2nd. "Actors with mermaid and under water acting experience are highly desirable." The synopsis straight from the source:"The film begins moments after the sinking of the Titanic. All who have drowned are brought back to life by a futuristic race of mermaids, called the Mantocks, who welcome the humans to their underwater paradise. Soon after, JACK DAWSON is elected king of the underwater humans. DAWSON requests that all humans be returned above water, a request that is denied by KING MANTROCK. The humans are slowly brainwashed into worshiping their mermaid saviors. Meanwhile, the sunken TITANIC has become a haunted underwater wasteland inhabited by RAGGARO and his band of mermaid pirates. Will the humans ever free themselves from their mermaid slavery? Will the mermaid pirates wage war on Mantock?"I'm going to go out on a limb and say this could possibly be the best movie ever. When was the last time we saw a decent mermaid war waged on film, or video, or whatever they're going to shoot this thing on? I don't care what anyone says, tridents are a true mermaid man pirate's weapon of choice. Now let's take this sunken ship by force! **Stabs cheese cubes with three-pronged fork, dives into kiddy pool** (Cinematical)

Matthew McConaughey Developing Comedy For FX

Tuesday, June 8 by

Chillest family ever.Thanks to Kate Hudson, when you think Matthew McConaughey you don't automatically think comedy. You think beach yoga and Rogaine treatments. That hasn't stopped FX from picking up "Kick Ass Militia" from the bare-chested actor's production company J.K. Livin.Based on an idea from McConaughey's long-time friend JR Reed, "Kick Ass Militia" is a single-camera comedy about two brothers who butt heads on their Malibu compound. One is a survivalist and the other a free-loving cult leader. Think of it as "Two and a Half Men" with Ted Nugent replacing Jon Cryer. After hunting him for sport, of course. (Deadline)

Tangled Web of Movie Mercenaries

Tuesday, June 8 by

2010 has been the year of the "ex-military heroes out to do good…or evil." With The Losers already having left the cineplex, The A-Team due out this Friday, and The Expendables arriving later in the summer, we've been inundated with rock 'em, sock 'em gub'ment agents turned rogue.We decided to take a closer look at how all our favorite groups of mercenaries (those that used to do government work, that is) are related to each other – in a sort of "on and off the silver screen" way.

Mark Wahlberg’s Big Screen ‘Entourage’/'Hangover’ Mashup

Tuesday, June 8 by

Douche lovers around the world have been salivating since December when rumors of an "Entourage" movie began to surface. Now, producer Mark Wahlberg has laid out some specifics, saying that the show will most likely last two more seasons before it's made into a feature film. He also dropped hints about possible plans for a wildly original plot. "In the trailer, you see [Ari Gold and his associate, Lloyd] waking up together in Vegas not knowing what happened," Wahlberg imagined. "It would be pretty cool!" Jesus Christ? As long as we're blatantly ripping off Vegas movies, why not go the Casino route and have Vince and the gang beaten to death in a secluded cornfield? That would be even funnier than the time Drama banged the furry (LOL!), mainly because they'd all be bleeding and gasping for air (LMAO)! (First Showing)

Sex and Violence In ‘The A-Team’ Shocked Mr. T’s Eyelids

Tuesday, June 8 by

Joe Carnahan's directing style (blowing things up punctuated by a character saying, "BOOM!," punctuated by boobs) has foolishly drawn the pity of Mr. T. The original B.A. Baracus saw an advance screening of The A-Team remake and was shocked by how graphic it is. T angrily yelled into a WENN reporter's tape recorder:"People die in the film and there's plenty of sex but when we did it, no one got hurt and it was all played for fun and family entertainment. These seem to be elements nobody is interested in anymore. It was too graphic for me. I've no doubt it will do big business at the box office but it's nothing like the show we turned out every week." Haha. I don't know about you but that quote just sold me on seeing the movie. Mr. T is a natural born salesman whether he tries to be or not. **eats a heaping spoonful of stale Mr. T cereal from 1986**

One Last ‘Karate Kid’ Trailer (Sans Karate)

Tuesday, June 8 by

Jaden Smith is better than you at life.Sony has released the final trailer for The Karate Kid reboot starring Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. The film, which premieres this weekend, looks pretty good, provided you can overlook two annoying flaws. I'm sure I'm not the first to point out that the film lacks any actual karate, which is from Japan, and instead focuses on kung-fu, which is from China. It's like remaking Eight Men Out, but having them play Cricket, or remaking Squirt Woman 2 and having it focus on "water sports." There's a big difference. The second barrier to enjoying the film is Jaden Smith. Based on the trailer, he seems like he might be a decent actor. But the fact that a 12-year-old kid will probably nail more women this weekend than I will in my entire life makes it hard for me to concentrate. Instead of focusing on the kung-fu, I just keep tracing the veins in my wrist with the corner of my debit card over and over again.  Weird, huh? (First Showing) Enjoy the last Karate Kid trailer after the jump.

Corey Feldman Pulls a Shia Lebeouf for ‘Lost Boys 3′

Tuesday, June 8 by

Goonies 2: Cruise ControlIn a recent interview with Movie Mikes, Corey Feldman pulled a Shia Lebeouf by trashing his last sequel, Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, and then immediately talking up the next installment, Lost Boys 3: The Thirst. That usally raises a red flag, but after watching the latest trailer for the film, all of my fears were put to rest…NOT!Yes, I just used a horribly outdated Wayne's World catch phrase. But at least Wayne's World had some relevance within the last 20 years. That's more than can be said for The Lost Boys, which hasn't been popular in over two decades.That's not to say Lost Boys 3 looks completely terrible. I'm sure it's a lot more palatable than the Twilight movies all those damn kids keep going on about. And the story of a group of vampire hunters raiding an LA nightclub in order to shoot and kill all of the undead patrons seems cool. It reminds me of a reoccurring dream I've been having, except for all the vampire stuff. (DreadCentral)

Spongebob Squarepants Found Dead

Monday, June 7 by

The salt water in his lungs suggests he was drowned elsewhere and then dumped.Grieve with these links. Guillermo Gives 'Hobbit' Update (Moviefone)Happy Goonies B-Day: The The Truffle Shuffle Turns 25 Today! (Asylum)F-Bombs Fly at MTV Movie Awards (PopEater)Crazy Twilight Lady Makes Everyone Sad (FilmDrunk)Create Your Own MTV Movie Award Show In 5 Easy Steps (HolyTaco)Most Insane Toy Story Tattoo You'll Ever See (Unreality)The 55 Sexiest South African Women (BroBible)Parkour Stunt Fail (TotalProSports)The Curious Case Of Hot Girls & Buttons (Maxim)Miley Cyrus Teaches Girls How To Sit Like A Lady (Celebjihad)New Ali Sonoma Bikini Photos, Y'all (CagePotato)Two-Sentence Movie Review (Smosh)More About A "Preacher" Movie (Pajiba)iFreak (Atom)You Are Getting Scammed (MadeMen)

We Heard Your Wish Last Night for a Midget Mr. T

Monday, June 7 by

Or Little Person Mr. T, if you wanna get all P.C. about it.

Stanley Tucci Joins ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’

Monday, June 7 by

"Not now, ScreenJunkies."News broke today that Stanley Tucci will break out the ol' mustache and wear an Albert Einstein costume and appear in Captain America: The First Avenger. In the film he will play Dr. Abraham Erskine, Captain America's dad. Well, not his biological dad but the scientist who creates him. Like Pinnochio's Geppetto or Megaman's Dr. Light or Johnny Five's Steve Guttenberg.He'll be joining the previously-cast Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Tommy Lee Jones, Hayley Atwell, Dominic Cooper, Toby Jones, Sebastian Stan and Neal McDonough. (THR)

Sam Mendes Directed iPhone 4 Commercial

Monday, June 7 by

You can watch your unborn child on your new iPhone, yo!After Steve Jobs announced the release of the iPhone 4 today, he premiered the new commercial "FaceTime" directed by Sam Mendes of American Beauty and Road to Perdition fame. The spot showcases the video conferencing capabilities of the new slimmer device. You can now help your friends decide on what outfit to wear, or watch from across the world as your baby takes her first steps. Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound depressing. This is advanced technology. Show me a smile!Check out the spot at Apple HERE.

The First Ten Minutes Of ‘Jersey Shore’s’ Season Two

Monday, June 7 by

Those concerned that the second season of "Jersey Shore" will be a played out attempt by network execs to squeeze more money out of their runaway hit, can rest easy. The first ten minutes of the second season is now online, and we learn quickly that the cast reunite for reasons much more shallow than money. Namely, free tanning. That's right. The combination of record snowfalls and Obama's 10% tax on tanning has sent the cast south to Miami for the winter. In this first glimpse, we find out what the newly-minted celebrities have been up to (banging), watch Paulie D and the Situation play with explosives, and Snooki take pickles to a whole 'nother, WHOLE 'NOTHER level. THIS SEQUEL DEFINITELY WON'T SUCK. CHECK IT OUT AFTER THE JUMP…

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