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BP Declines James Cameron’s Oil Spill Advice

Thursday, June 3 by

Sh*t's f*cked, yo.The ocean is James Cameron's sandbox and BP has crapped in it. Knowing that the HMFIC wouldn't stand for that, the EPA called him in to discuss raking that crap out of there. However, British Petroleum has shot him down his help.Cameron suggested the U.S. government needed to take a more active role in monitoring the undersea gusher, which has become the worst oil spill in U.S. history.“I know really, really, really smart people [and Tom Arnold] that work typically at depths much greater than what that well is at,” Cameron said. “The government really needs to have its own independent ability to go down there and image the site, survey the site and do its own investigation,” he said.  “Because if you’re not monitoring it independently, you’re asking the perpetrator to give you the video of the crime scene,” Cameron added.I just can't believe someone said no to James Cameron. The last person who did that was Linda Hamilton and we all know how well that turned out. That's right. A guest-starring role on "According to Jim." **shudder** (Reuters)

Hanukkah: The Horror Movie

Thursday, June 3 by

They're making a horror movie about a mashugina (crazy) Jewish extremist named the Hannukiller who slaughters people during the eight nights of Hanukkah. Judah Lazarus is killed by the police while trying to sacrifice his son Obediah on the last night of Hanukkah. Once Obediah is a grown man, instead of feeling all l'chaim, he decides to become intolerant of non-Jews, "bad Jews," and those he perceives to be enemies of the Jewish faith. He unleashes eight nights of mishigas (madness). A group of Jewish schlemiels (teenagers) are getting ready to kibitz (party) for the holidays, but are in for a Festival of Oy Gavalts (Frights). With the help of a mensch (wise) Rabbi, they deduce that the murder victims have falshed (violated) Judiac law and that their only chance at survival is to embrace their faith.Oy vey, a need a schvitz after yiddishizing that synopsis. So needless to say, Hanukkah will be a must see this holiday season. You bring the latkes, I'll bring the gafilte fish. (JoBlo)Check out the posters for the film after the jump. And the Punimbook page here.

Rue McClanahan Has Died

Thursday, June 3 by

Fur is murder. Sad news today that the Facebook-neglected Golden Girl Rue McClanahan passed away after suffering a massive stroke. She is of course best known for her role as O.G. Cougar Blanche Devereaux. We're sad to see her go but would like to celebrate her for what she did best: partying on Cat Mountain.

‘Get Him To The Greek’ Actress Rose Byrne

Thursday, June 3 by

Rose Byrne is an Australian actress. She plays Ellen Parsons in the FX show "Damages," opposite American dramatic institution Glenn Close. Byrne has been in a relationship with Australian writer, director and actor Brendan Cowell for over four years (Boooo!). The couple maintained a long-distance relationship for much of their relationship, with work commitments meaning they were often on separate continents. This means he's a better man than you. A word from Rose: "I see myself more as a character actress than a celebrity."Keep that good head on your shoulders. When you discover you're a celebrity you'll probably want coke, or to kill a homeless person. Apparently it has something to do with power. More pics of professional Rose after the jump.

‘Inception’ Featurette Fortunately Doesn’t Give Away Much

Thursday, June 3 by

In case you don't make it to the theater thirty minutes before your movie to secure good seats so you don't have to sit next to a mouth-breather or texting addict, here's some Inception pre-show entertainment for you. The featurette gives us a teeny-eency-weency more in depth look at Christopher Nolan's upcoming mindf*ck of a film. In fact, if the MPAA and society allowed it, I'm positive the title of Inception would be Christopher Nolan's Mindf*ck. I guess we'll just have to wait for the porno version to be released the following day. Check out the trippy featurette after the jump…

New ‘Dinner For Schmucks’ Trailer Has Carell Lay Eggs In Galifianakis’s Brain

Thursday, June 3 by

A still from Kirk Douglas's soon-to-be-released sex tape. The newest trailer for the Paul Rudd/Steve Carell buddy pic Dinner For Schmucks gives us a much better look at the schmuckly antics the film serves up. Here you get a glimpse of car accidents, vulture kissing, muscle-pulling, Satan costumes, a woman with the piercing glare of Udo Kier, creepy puppets, and mind bullets. It's like a glimpse inside the mind of Gary Busey. Needs wolves though. Wrap your eyes around the new trailer after the jump…

10 Most Baffling Movie Franchises

Thursday, June 3 by

In Hollywood, it usually makes sense to make sequel after sequel. Whether a series is good or bad, there’s some fan base who’ll keep coming back and the studios will make greater dough. There are just a few that make so little sense, I can’t believe they even tried to do more than one. As summer sequel season begins, we look at the 10 most baffling franchises in Hollywood history.BASIC INSTINCTThe only reason there’s even one sequel to this movie is that the studio decided it would be cheaper to make a whole movie than settle a lawsuit with Sharon Stone. So now Basic Instinct is a franchise, with a sequel that made less than Larry the Cable Guy’s first movie. I'm wondering who crunched the numbers and came to the conclusion that making an entire production would be more economical than settling a lawsuit. 

Here’s What Chris Hemsworth As ‘Thor’ Might Look Like

Thursday, June 3 by

Please relax your eyes and stare at the above image. Now, tell Dr. Johnson what you see. Is it a) early concept art of Chris Hemsworth as Marvel's Thor, b) Will Ferrell dressed as Viggo the Carpathian, or c) Dog the Bounty Hunter accentuating his wardrobe with peacocking flair after reading "The Game?" Answer below.It's Thor, you guys. (Collider)More unofficially official images of Thor after the jump…

Tom Selleck Confirms ‘Three Men and an Unnecessary Sequel’ Rumors

Thursday, June 3 by

Why are these dudes still living together? Actor Tom Selleck confirmed that Disney is attempting to move forward on a third installment in the Three Men series. For those of you born after 1992, this refers to a popular 80's movie (Three Men and a Baby) and its disappointing, midget-porn sequel (Three Men and a Little Lady) co-starring Selleck, Steve Guttenberg and Ted Danson. Make your own Steve Guttenberg joke, cause I like the guy. "It is true that Disney checked my availability," Selleck told the site. "And I know they checked Ted's and Steve's, and then had a script written, I think tentatively called 'Three Men and a Bride,' which kind of says it all [about the story]." I'm trying really hard not to be negative, but the "baby" from the film is now in her mid twenties, and no one besides my friend Jon wants to see a girl in her 20's "accidentally" pee on Ted Danson. I'm not even sure Netflix can legally send something like that through the mail.  While we're at it, why not just make Adventures in Babysitting: The Next Generation, Good Evening Vietnam, or Mannequin: The Revenge.* (ComingSoon)*These are all real pitches. I demand an executive producer credit and 5% of both the domestic and international box-office.

Will Jennifer Aniston ‘Scream’ for Cox?

Wednesday, June 2 by

Aniston Sucks Cox…GET IT!?!The Internet rumor mill is working overtime tonight, speculating that Jennifer Aniston will be joining her former "Friends" co-star, Courtney Cox, in the upcoming horror sequel, Scream 4.According to Star Magazine, which is one step up from reading the scribblings on a bathroom wall, Aniston's character will die early on. This follows in the tradition of the previous Scream films which have all killed off a big-name star within the first few minutes.If the rumors prove true, it will not be the first stab at the horror genre for either actress. Cox has been a mainstay of the Scream franchise since its inception, and Aniston has been terrifying audiences for years with films such as The Break-Up and He's Just Not That Into You. (CinemaBlend)

‘ThunderCats’ Claws Its Way Back to Television

Wednesday, June 2 by

I remember why this was so popular!Twenty years after its cancellation, "ThunderCats" is poised to return to the small screen. A re-imaged "anime-inspired" version of the classic 80's cartoon will begin airing on Cartoon Network in 2011. The Cats join a growing list of retro characters headed to the CN lineup, including Batman, Scooby-Doo and The Looney Tunes. While CN is hopeful that the entire cast will return, the beloved character of Snarf may end up as the lone holdout. The annoying, overweight feline is currently in negotiations to join Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg on "The View," which would all but rule out his participation in the relaunch. (Variety) Watch two minutes of Snarf repeatedly saying "Snarf" after the Snarf.

Best Caricature Artist Ever

Wednesday, June 2 by

He really nailed the eyes.These links will cheer you up, Fat Little Girl.Free Outdoor Summer Film Festivals (Moviefone)Russell Brand Tips for Getting Laid (Asylum)M.I.A.'s French Fry Fight (PopEater)The Dos ad Don'ts of Soul Selling (HolyTaco)Keifer in Talks for Werewolf Fight Club (FilmDrunk)10 Best Comedy Duos of All Time (Unreality)AT&T Nixes Unlimited Wireless Plans (BroBible)Greatest Wrestling Move Ever (TotalProSports)Progression of a Celebrity (Maxim)Kim Couture Arrested After Choking Personal Assistant (CagePotato)Jessica Simpson is Totally Not Fat (CelebJihad)20 Horrible Place Names (Smosh)5 Best Single TV Episodes of the Season (Pajiba)M'Larky Slugs It Out (Atom)Have a Summer Fling (MadeMan)

Charles Grodin Might Return to ‘Midnight Run’ Connecticut-Based Acting

Wednesday, June 2 by

Beethoven's 2nd robbed us of Charles Grodin, our nation's most cantankerous export back in 1994. A man can only abide a St. Bernard ruining his turkey dinner so many times before he decides to walk away from a thriving Hollywood career, and Grodin had reached his breaking point. Welp, I've got good news for all you Grodinheads out there. The man is open to acting again and he seems more curmudgeonly than ever."I’ve been led to believe by someone I won’t name that they will ask me and I will consider it,” says Grodin in regards to the planned Midnight Run sequel. Though he does have his conditions. “I just turned down the new Muppet movie… Jim Henson was dear to me but I’m not flying 6000 miles to Los Angeles to work one day." Well, you could also take in a Lakers game, B.A. Baracus. Just sayin'. It's reported that he won't take a role if it interferes with him being at his Connecticut home by nightfall. This reinforces my theory: Charles Grodin is a werewolf. I'm 17% certain of this. (Deadline)

Hey, Jeff Zucker. YOU’RE FIRED! Like On ‘The Apprentice’

Wednesday, June 2 by

In news that is sure to make Conan O'Brien's Irish eyes smile, Jeff Zucker is being removed from his position as President of NBC Television Group. General Electric has put together an exit deal that will send Zucker packing with a golden parachute in the $30 to $40 million range. Please send all sympathy cards to: Jeff Zucker Don't Send This Guy Any Cards Avenue Dude's Plenty Rich, NY 80085 $30 million seems kinda exorbitant for a guy who steered the number one network into last place and forced the company into the arms of a competitor. Heck, I didn't get squat when I was let go from the deli for that bologna joke fiasco. Sucks too because I had plans for that apron. (NY Post)

What Chris Evans Could Possibly Maybe Look Like as ‘Captain America’

Wednesday, June 2 by

AICN snagged some very official looking concept images of what Chris Evans could maybe possibly look like as Captain America. Marvel has not yet confirmed their authenticity, so basically they could be you or me, probably you, jerking around on the computer in a basement, surrounded by American flags and Nazi scalps. In which case, I commend you. That's an impressive collection of Nazi scalps.More unofficially official images of Captain America after the jump.

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