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Bruce Willis and Helen Mirren Take The Odd Contract In ‘Red’ Trailer

Thursday, June 24 by

Robert Schwentke's film adaptation of the Warren Ellis graphic novel Red looks like The Losers recast for a CBS audience. It stars Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich (going full-Nugent), and Mary-Louise Parker as former CIA assassins forced into retirement. But old habits die hard and the boredom of retired life sets in, causing them to venture out on their own to murder-for-hire. And then when their old bosses try to have them killed, they reunite to take the fight to the CIA's front door. Why is the CIA always trying to kill its former employees? That hardly happens with any other profession. Better off safe than sorry though. That's why I've been systematically eliminating the customers from my boyhood paper route. That, and because of their ethnicities. HELEN MIRREN POPS A CAP AFTER THE JUMP…

Shyamalan and ‘Buried’ Writer Locked In for ‘Twelve Strangers’

Wednesday, June 23 by

M. Night Shyamalan is set to produce, with Chris Sparling set to write, Twelve Strangers, a thriller that involves a jury deliberating a case involving the supernatural. Ah see, now the picture makes sense. Sparling wrote Buried, the movie where Ryan Reynolds is stuck in a coffin underground for ninety minutes. There's also additional details on the script that Shyamalan is currently shopping around town. The other day we reported that Bruce Willis, Bradley Cooper, and Gwyneth Paltrow are set to star, but we had no idea what the project's about, except that it's probably something mysterious. Deadline enlightens us: "Bradley Cooper would play a father on a desperate search for his missing child.  It might stray into Taken terrain, but the father taps into some supernatural powers to aid the search." Maybe he taps into the supernatural powers of Juror Number 5 in the aforementioned project. Whoa. Meta. A studio has yet to scoop up the script, but it's likely someone will bite. No exec wants to get their nose broken by Paltrow while Willis and Cooper watch from afar in horror.

OK Go’s Danimal vs. Animal in Staring Contest

Wednesday, June 23 by

OK Gos Danimal vs. The Muppetss Animal – Watch more Funny Videos
It's advantageous to be a Muppet in a staring contest. Stick with the video, it gets funnier as it goes along. Plus, Zach Galifianakis is in the background, and you love him.
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Daniel Radcliffe Replacing Wand With Rifle for ‘All Quiet on the Western Front’

Wednesday, June 23 by

The new guy brought his own saddle.Remember All Quiet on the Western Front, that book you were supposed to read in high school English class but instead you waited for your teacher to screen the 1930, or 1979, movie? Yeah, they're remaking that and Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is set to star. Harry (Daniel) will play a young German soldier fighting in the trenches of France.This remake seems pointless considering the original already won the Oscar for Best Picture, the highest honor that can be bestowed on a film. But I guess with today's technology the filmmakers can really take those mustard gas scenes to the next level. Add some 3D and audiences would almost be able to feel their nervous systems shutting down. Right on, Innovation. Right on. (Variety)

‘Twilight Eclipse’ Fans Abandon Their Parents’ Basements To Camp Out For Premiere

Wednesday, June 23 by

Roughing it the same way our forefathers did.There has never been a more lucrative time to be a cat-sitter. With Twilight Eclipse set to play at the Los Angeles Film Festival one week before it opens nationwide on June 30th, eager fans have assembled en masse to get a glimpse of their favorite stars. In fact, if you stroll by there right now, you'll see a "tent city" built by the Twihards. Just like our early settlers. Though they're more likely to suffer from Pop Rox in their blankets than small pox.It's now being reported that 550 of the overzealous nut jobs will be rewarded for their stalking by being guaranteed spots on the red carpet at Eclipse's Thursday premiere. The lesson here is if you obsess over someone hard enough, you'll be granted close access to them. Now, who amongst you has Bieber Fever and an attraction to hunting knives? (DailyMail)

Longest. Match. Ever.

Wednesday, June 23 by

As I write this, John Isner and Nicolas Mahut are still playing the longest tennis match in history at Wimbledon. And if you've been watching, I have no doubt that your face is gone.

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Olivia Wilde

Wednesday, June 23 by

She may be Thirteen in ‘House’, but she’s One to many.

Jason Reitman Options ‘SNL’ Writer’s ‘Elliot Allagash’

Wednesday, June 23 by

Jason Reitman has optioned the movie rights to the book Elliot Allagash. The private school satire, written by "Saturday Night Live" writer Simon Rich, tells the tale of a boy named Seymour Herson who is picked on until Elliot Allagash decides to be his mentor. It's unclear if Reitman will direct or just produce. Rich is on-board to pen the adaptation.Allagash is described as a “teen who regularly gets drunk and enjoys villainy.” What teen doesn't enjoy getting drunk and commiting villianous acts? When I was a teen all I did was guzzle Red Dog and tie damsels to train tracks. In fact, our gang's initiation required us to chug a quart of vodka and fasten our enemies to logs on the conveyor belt at the local saw mill. Now the big thing is drive by shootings. No imagination! (THR)

Bruce Campbell’s Soup

Wednesday, June 23 by

In honor of Bruce Campbell's birthday, Sci Fi Wire designed some Bruce Campbell's soup labels. Make sure you read all the fine details. I'm a big fan of the second direction on the can of Cream of Darkness: agitate with boomstick.Check out the labels after the jump…

‘Knight and Day’ Actress Gal Gadot

Wednesday, June 23 by

Gal Gadot is someone to look out for in the coming years, as she has proven to spice up big budget action fare like Fast & Furious and this week's Knight and Day. Coming from the land of the Middle East, this fomer Miss Israel shows us why her country is land worth fighting over.A word from Gal: "It's fun playing the bad girl, since I'm always the good girl in real life."Actresses say that all time. If they're all such goody two-shoes then who's helping Lindsay Lohan rail lines off of toilet paper dispensers? Show some solidarity, Girls.More innocent pics of Gal after the jump.

Jim Carrey Replacing Ben Stiller for ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’?

Wednesday, June 23 by

Looks like Ben Stiller and Noah Baumbach are no longer interested in adapting the childrens' book Mr. Popper's Penguins and no doubt making it depressing, so Fox is looking to director Mark Waters (Mean Girls) and Jim Carrey to fill their spots. Goodbye hipster soundtrack, hello funny faces!The LA Times says nothing is confirmed at this point, and that Owen Wilson and Jack Black are also being considered. Sounds to me like someone at Fox is just shouting out names and hoping two of them are available, interested, and not dealing with personal sh*t at the moment. Zack Galifianakis! Martin Scorsese! Cobb salad! At this point, the studio exec takes his lunch from the mail room guy and shoves him out of the conference room. (SlashFilm)

‘Glee’ Producer Bans Sex On Set

Wednesday, June 23 by

Lord only knows where that finger has been.The soothsayers over at Hustler have done it again. Apparantly, the thought of the "Glee" cast rubbing their genitals together isn't a far-fetched scenario that exists only in parody porn and fan fiction. Ryan Murphy, the show's co-creator and producer, has been forced to ban sex in the kids' trailers. He creepily announced his decree to Telegraph UK:"But I have a rule: don't do it in your trailer. They've broken that rule on many occasions. I'm like, 'I know you guys are young and hormonal, but don't do it in your trailer'. I'm the dad, that's what I say'."This news makes me feel sad for the female castmembers. They must be so bored while all that sex is going on without them.

Neill Blomkamp Will Not Direct ‘The Hobbit’

Wednesday, June 23 by

Why doesn't anybody (good) want to direct The Hobbit? Peter Jackson passed. Guillermo del Toro quit. Now we have word the rumored shoe-in Neill Blomkamp won't be taking the gig either. Though in all fairness, he was never offered the job. From Vulture:An insider at his agency, William Morris Endeavor, confirms to Vulture that not only is Blomkamp not doing the movie, no one from MGM/United Artists or Warner Bros. has even contacted them about his directing the film.But they may have considered Brett Ratner. Makes total sense. If anything, MGM will always be remembered for their sound business decisions. Hopefully they won't be remembered as the studio that forced Sir Ian McKellan to wear a "Team Ratner" t-shirt.

‘Predators’ International Trailer

Wednesday, June 23 by

  The new Predators red band international trailer is here, and you know what that means: blood! How refreshing. I wish I lived in international instead of the United States. In international, they don't kowtow to fat housewives and Methodist ministers when it comes to on-screen violence. At any rate, if you're as excited as I am about the Predators movie, I'd like to invite you to join my cool new club, the Pred-o-philes! To join, head over to your local police station and tell the officer on duty that you want to register as a Pred-o-phile, and he'll take care of all the necessary paperwork. Don't forget to tell 'em Jame sent you!  Watch the Predators red band trailer below.

Charlie Sheen Back to the Minors with a ‘Major League’ Sequel?

Wednesday, June 23 by

Will Charlie Sheen be back for another installment of Major League? He will if David S. Ward has his way. The writer/director behind the first three films has penned a sequel focusing on Sheen's character, Wild Thing. “Wild Thing comes out of retirement to work with this 19-year-old player. We’ve actually got three new characters in the new film. And if the new film is popular, they could carry the franchise on.” Since he's one of the highest paid actors on television, Sheen should have more money than God, or at least one of those out-of-work Greek gods. But considering his current legal troubles and the fact that he recently did a series of underwear ads, I think there's a good chance we'll be seeing Major League 4 in the not-to-distant future. (/Film)

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