LATEST HEADLINES

Silent ‘Star Wars’

Monday, August 23 by

I prefer this version. It's less talky and John Williams's score on piano sounds quite foreboding.
Here are today's silent links.
Spike Lee On How BP Is Worse Than The Mafia (Moviefone)
New York City Alligators–From Sewer To Supper (Asylum)
8 Most Badass Flowers In Video Games (Ranker)
How To Make An Epic Chinese Traffic Jam Even Worse (HolyTaco)
4 Minutes Of Werner Herzog/David Lynch's 'My Son, My Son' (FilmDrunk)
Top 20 Movie Badasses (Maxim)
Good 'Ole Fashion Wilderness Brawl (BarStoolSports)
10 Books Lindsay Lohan Read While In Prison (EgoTV)
5 Instant Netflix Television Series Recommendations (Pajiba)
Two Obscure Actors In A Series Of Incredible Roles (Unreality)
Hiroshima Carp Catch Of The Year–The Sequel (TotalProSports)
Courtney Love's Twitter Meltdown (Smosh)
Rachel Bilson Tiny Bikini Pics (CelebJihad)
Firemen Ghost Ride Their Fire Engine (BroBible)
KJ Noons Isn't A Dirty Fighter; He Just Plays One On TV (CagePotato)
'Machete' Star Danny Trejo Gets Wild With Bloody Thirsty Pictures (PopEater)
Your Earthquake-Proof Bed (MadeMan)

Box Office Success Spawns ‘Piranha 3D’ Sequel

Monday, August 23 by

"We're actresses!"
Good news for people who like breasts and carnivorous fish! A sequel for Piranha 3D is officially in the works.

Despite a slower than expected start at the box office, the film did fairly well when considering its budget was only $30 million. Couple that with an overwhelmingly positive critical reception, and it's easy to see why the Weinsteins and Co. signed off another installment.

Since the fourth dimension is time, I'm assuming Piranha 4D will involve the piranhas taking control of some sort of water-based time machine and traveling back to the Old West. Unless, of course, they end up naming it Piranha 3D Part 2, which would just be stupid. (Cinema Blend)

Death By Bus

Monday, August 23 by

Public Transit is a b*tch.

Ben Stiller and Brett Ratner Planning ‘Tower Heist’

Monday, August 23 by

After letting Tower Heist sit on the shelf for almost four years, Universal has given it the green light with Ben Stiller starring, Brett Ratner directing, and Imagine's Brian Grazer producing. Because if anyone can make a project work that hasn't been working, it's the mastermind behind X-Men 3. Deadline has the deets:
Ben Stiller stars as the overworked manager of a luxury building who, along with other staff, lost their pensions to a Bernie Madoff-like Wall Street crook. It so happens that the fraudster is being held under house arrest in the luxury penthouse apartment upstairs, and the manager and four cohorts figure a heist will make them whole.
Bumbling, inept idiots try to pull off a major heist. Have we not seen this concept countless times already? And not that I have anything against Stiller, but I don't understand why he'd want to play this type of character again. He's already been a bumbling security guard twice in the Night at the Museum movies, and a bumbling (insert occupation) in almost everything else. Now he's relying on Ratner to save a stale concept. Unless that concept is a cupcake, I'm not seeing him succeeding.

Now There’s This: The Indian ‘Incredible Hulk’

Monday, August 23 by

For those of you who think the Bangladeshi Incredible Hulk was the last word in foreign made Hulk knock-offs, prepare to have your pathetic world shattered. Behold, the Indian version of The Hulk (a.k.a. Athisayan), from director Vinayan T. Rajendarum.
The clip below depicts a ten-year-old boy with Hulk-like superpowers who goes on a murderous rampage. He then commits suicide by walking into the ocean while his family looks on in horror. Pretty dark stuff for a film that bills itself as a family comedy. But in all fairness, it's still funnier than The Back-Up Plan and When in Rome combined.

Watch the Indian Hulk lay the smack down after the jump…

‘True Blood’ Recap: I Smell a Rat S3E10

Monday, August 23 by

Previously on "True Blood": Bill met with Sookie's dream friends. Sam curb-stomped Crystal's redneck father. Lafayette and Jesus took said redneck for help. Eric got permission from The Authority to ice The King. The King ripped out a newscaster's spine and basically declared war on humankind. Ok, on to this week.

We finally learn what Sookie is courtesy of Bill: a fairy (or well, part fairy). The gayest of all the mythological creatures. Apparently all the fairies were thought to be extinct thanks to vampires hunting them down for their sweet, sweet blood. Sookie wants to know if this is why Bill likes her, and he's like, "of course not" but we all know different, right? I mean, did you see how easily he pulled stripper tail a few eps back?
More after the jump..

‘Piranha 3D’ Actress Gianna Michaels

Monday, August 23 by

 
Gianna Michaels, like many hard working adult film stars, came from the fast food industry before being discovered for her natural talents. They have led her to several adult industry awards and a small part in Piranha 3D, where she is eaten by the carnivorous fish while parasailing nude, of course.
A word from Gianna: "I worked at a hamburger joint up in Seattle called Dick's."
I won't comment on the irony.
More pics of Gianna after the jump…

Full-Grown Man Kenny Powers Doesn’t Use Twitter

Monday, August 23 by

HBO, "Eastbound & Down," Kenny Powers, and Danny McBride would like you to know that Twitter's KFUCKINGP has nothing to do with them. For more than a year, a comedy writer from NYC has been posing as fictional washed-up baseball star Kenny Powers and delighting followers with his clever, very McBride-like tweets. He isn't McBride though, as the actor himself told Vulture:
"Kenny Powers is a full-grown man, so he would never Twitter. But Kenny is also a man of the people. He doesn't care if the public feels the need to impersonate him. That just puts him up there with the big dogs like Santa and Elvis. Knowing that it's a very funny committed fan makes us proud."
That's a burn for all you bloggers out there. You grown-ass men shouldn't share your thoughts, grievances, and lazy Sunday night plans with the world. Sure, Anonymous NYC Aspiring Comedy Writer found some success with it, but he sacrificed his masculinity in the process. Fortunately Screen Junkies has raw male power to spare, so we're always tweeting the sh*t out of sh*t on our account HERE!!!!
"Eastbound & Down" returns to HBO September 26th, and it's Kenny Powers approved.

Fall TV Tips: The Sitcoms About Couples

Monday, August 23 by

Here’s my latest brilliant assessment of the new fall TV shows. This week it’s time to scrutinize sitcoms about couples. While these sitcoms can sometimes be confused with sitcoms about family — which I have already broken down for you — these shows focus on the daily shenanigans of a particular couple, or couples.
Let’s take a look…
WATCH IT: “Perfect Couples” (NBC), Midseason

Uh-oh Coco: O’Brien’s Writers Unhappy with TBS Pay

Monday, August 23 by

There's trouble a brew'n at TBS. Page 6 is reporting that Conan O'Brien's writers aren't happy with the pay being doled out by their new employer. Apparently they are under the impression that the network, which until recently conisisted of nothing but Atlanta Braves' games and old Hanna-Barbera cartoons, is swimming in cash.
"This is no surprise," said an insider. "One show was broadcast network; the other is basic cable. It's a different pay scale. It's not just writers; it's everybody."
Despite the complaints, no formal agreement has been made. The Writers Guild is still in talks with TBS, so it's possible that the network will find a way to come up with more cash. Perhaps they could stop paying homeless drifters to be in the George Lopez studio audience and just switch to a laugh track. Although in all fairness, the technology to create laughter for that show is probably a few years away.

Hanks & Bullock Looking to Nice It Up In ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close’

Monday, August 23 by

Tom Hanks is considered one of the "nicest" guys in Hollywood. Sandra Bullock has the same "nice guy" image, but with a vaginal twist. Now comes word the pair may star in Stephen Daldry's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, thereby creating an overwhelming pile of nice-ness unlike anything the world has ever seen.

As if that wasn't nice enough, Eric Roth is adapting the script, which tells the story of a young boy who lost his father on September 11th. Terrorist attacks aren't very nice, but considering Roth also adapted the screenplay for a little movie called Forrest Gump, this film will probably be oozing with so much niceness that I'll have to punch my grandma in the face just to even things out.

I love you, Nana. (First Showing)

First Look at Ron Howard’s ‘The Dilemma’

Sunday, August 22 by

USAToday has a first look at Ron Howard's new film, The Dilemma. It stars Vince Vaughn as a guy who discovers that his best friend's (Kevin James) wife (Winona Ryder) is cheating on him with Channing Tatum. Not the real Channing Tatum, but the character he plays. In case you're confused as to where this movie came from, it used to be called Cheaters.
It's great to see Ron Howard taking on a comedy again. I've grown weary of his religious projects with Tom Hanks in long, stringy hair. Hopefully The Dilemma will be more Parenthood than EdTV. I'd also like to mention that the above scene takes place at Chicago's famous hot dog joint, Weiner Circle. A more dangerous place to bring Vaughn and James I cannot think of.

Captain Kirk Was Here

Saturday, August 21 by

A captain never gets a minute to himself.

Pitch for ‘Slinky: The Movie’

Saturday, August 21 by

Someone named BigSugar imagined what it would be like if a development exec asked them to write a movie based on Slinky, the big metal coil for kids. The truly frightening part is with all the board game and Magic 8 Ball movies in development, this meeting is probably scheduled for a writer for Monday. (JohnAugust)

Photobomb Fridays: ‘American Beauty’

Friday, August 20 by

Meta.
Here are your weekend links.
Six Second Review: 'The Switch' (Moviefone)
Crack Dealer Celebrates 13th Birthday In Jail (Asylum)
The 12 Greatest Real-Life Superheroes Of All Time (Ranker)
25 Pictures Of Women Doing Manly Things (HolyTaco)
'Super-Hip' Seattle Pastor Doesn't Like Twilight (FilmDrunk)
It's Beer Fest Season! (Maxim)
Back To School Shaping Up To Be Cool (BarStoolSports)
Classic Comic Book Ads (EgoTV)
Juliette Lewis Career Assessment (Pajiba)
Alternate Ending TO Popular Movies (Unreality)
Give'em Your Balls, Oakland A's Ball Boy Picks Up Chicks (TotalProSports)
3D Movie Revamps We'd Like To See (Smosh)
Justin Bieber Has Sex With A Manatee (CelebJihad)
15 Words For Vagina That Women Hate (BroBible)
Kimbo Slice To Make A Lot Of Money As A Mediocre Boxer (CagePotato)
DJ Marc Mysterio Sues Brandy For Millions (PopEater)
Snoop Dogg Blows Up Armored Truck (MadeMan)

MORE