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Frank Darabont Not Interested In The Running “Dead”

Thursday, June 10 by

I've never been a fan of fast zombies. There's just something wrong with the idea of a corpse who can keep pace with a Vespa. Luckily, Frank Darabont subscribes to that school of thought and will present "The Walking Dead" stiffs exactly the way they are billed — walking. In an interview with AMC, Darabont cited Night of the Living Dead's zombie zero as the mold."For our zombie show I'm calling that the Book of Genesis, and whenever there's a question about zombie behavior, I go back to 'Night of the Living Dead.' Here's my favorite thing: the endless debate among the fans about how fast a zombie can move. There are the folks who just can't stand seeing zombies running. I'm kind of in that camp, but if you look at the very first zombie in 'Night' – the one in the cemetery chasing Barbara, he gets up to a pretty good jog. I'm keying our zombie behavior off of that film: Whether they're in a very languid state or they're on the attack, they'll move no faster than that first zombie in 'Night of the Living Dead.'"Okay. I can live with zombies getting up to a light jog, but nothing more than that. Something around a 3 or a 4 on the "Rushing to the Bathroom Scale," is permissable. But by no means should they get up to a cotton-touching number like 7 or 8. (via Dread Central)

Paramount Takes ‘UNTITLED Les Grossman Project’ Way Too Far

Thursday, June 10 by

Paramount Pictures is taking its UNTITLED Les Grossman Project way too far. A press release announcing the film treated Grossman as if he was a real "mega-producer" rather than a somewhat-humorous fictional character. While I wasn't a big fan, the release does allow me to use block quotes, and I'm a big fan of that! Paramount Pictures and MTV Films announced today that they are set to develop a movie around mega-producer Les Grossman. The announcement comes on the heels of Grossman’s groundbreaking and visionary production of the soon-to-be Emmy® award-winning 2010 MTV Movie Awards Sunday night. Tom Cruise, along with Ben Stiller and Stuart Cornfeld of Red Hour Films will produce and have secured the life rights to Grossman. See what I mean?  Block quotes rule. The release goes on to say that Grossman played himself in Tropic Thunder, even though we all know it was Tom Cruise. It also claims that Tom Crusie will be portraying the real Grossman in the new movie, even though there is no real Grossman to portray! I need a map to keep up with all the ins and outs. I haven't been this god damn confused since Garth Brooks was dating the awful rocker, Chris Gaines.

‘Monsterpocalypse’ May Land Tim Burton and John August

Thursday, June 10 by

Both Tim Burton and John August are in negotiations to work on the film adaptation of Monsterpocalypse. The film is based on a strategy board game created by Matt Wilson in which Japanese movie monsters do battle.If the negotiations are successful, this would mark the fourth time the director/screenwriting team has collaborated. Previously, the pair worked together on Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The Corpse Bride.I haven't been this excited for a repeat collaboration since I heard that Bruce Willis was re-teaming with Matthew Perry on The Whole 10 Yards. Maybe it was the brain tumor talking, but that movie was funny as hell!  Don't worry. I'm in remission.Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I was diagnosed with a brain tumor? It was right about the time The Whole 10 Yards came out. Great movie.What, they're making a movie adaptation of Monsterpocalypse!  Awesome! (Dread Central)

Screenwriter Tony Gilroy Onboard for ‘Bourne 4′

Thursday, June 10 by

Tony Gilroy, the screenwriter for the original Bourne trilogy, has signed on to write the treatment for The Bourne Legacy, the planned fourth installment of the franchise. Gilroy joins Frank Marshall and Pat Crowley, who have returned to produce.Despite the positive momentum, not all of the original pieces are in place. Actor Matt Damon and director Paul Greengrass have yet to sign on to the project, and Damon has stated that he will only participate if Greengrass directs. Then again, people say a lot of things. My old girlfriend said we'd be together forever, but as soon as she got the starring role in Precious, she dropped me like an empty Taco Bell wrapper. Be careful, Greengrass. It could happen to you! (Deadline)

Mr. Nicholson, Could You Sign This?

Wednesday, June 9 by

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Japanese ‘Ghost’ Remake Seems Overdue

Wednesday, June 9 by

I apologize for all the penis-shaped objects this week.In order to make up for the lack of box office success of American movies with Japanese audiences, Paramount is planning a Japanese remake of Ghost. Why Ghost when they could remake something other than Ghost? Because of the pottery wheel scene, dummy! It's sexy, and dirty, and raw, and scored with Righteous Brothers music. The Japanese go apesh*t for that combo.The new version of Ghost will star Nanako Matsushima in the Demi Moore role and Song Seung Heon as the ghost of Patrick Swayze. Well not the ghost of Patrick Swayze, but the ghost of his character Sam in the movie. India's already remade the film twice (because once wasn't enough?), so who's to say it won't have the same kind of success in Japan. Wet clay is universal. That's why my apartment is full of my own head casts. Company doesn't find them at all disturbing. (/Film)

Trip Out On This ‘Rango’ Teaser

Wednesday, June 9 by

Yeah, uhhhhhh, here's the teaser trailer for Rango? Directed by Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean, The Ring), it's tells the story of a chameleon with an identity crisis. I guess he's a fish in this teaser that does more confusing than teasing. However, the best women of the night have both down to such an art that a John usually can't tell the difference. So maybe this teaser is just like a skilled prostitute. Or Hunter S. Thompson's wet dream. The film stars the voice talents of Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher, Abigail Breslin, Bill Nighy, Stephen Root, Ray Winstone, Beth Grant, Ned Beatty, Harry Dean Stanton, and Alfred Molina. But you won't hear any of them in the teaser. That's the tease. Are you titillated? Check out the teaser for Rango after the jump.

Jay Baruchel and Nicolas Cage Play Pitcher-Catcher In New ‘Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ Trailer

Wednesday, June 9 by

The Nicolas Cage/Jay Baruchel goofy hair tour de force The Sorcerer's Apprentice released a new trailer during the NBA Finals. This time we get a better look at the thrilling action and bizarre enemies as Jay Baruchel cowers and trembles with Urkel-like aplomb. All in all, the effects look cool and the magic looks ridiculous. Still looks more believable than Jay Baruchel scoring with Alice Eve though.CHECK OUT THE NEW TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP…

‘My Idiot Brother’ Has Stupid Hot Sisters

Wednesday, June 9 by

Paul Rudd has assembled his past movie girlfriends and a few indie darlings to form a Voltron of hotitude.. hoticity… umm… attractiveness. Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer, and Rashida Jones have all joined his upcoming Jesse Peretz project My Idiot Brother.In the film, Banks, Deschanel, and Mortimer will play Rudd's put-upon sisters whom he totally You, Me, and Duprees. Mortimer is a Park Slope mom with a failing marriage, Banks is a career girl, and Deschanel is a flaky bisexual who can't commit to girlfriend Rashida Jones. Hopefully Paul Rudd can help those mixed up lovebirds see the error of their ways and they live happily ever after in boob-touching bliss. Expect that news to swell a lot of pants at ironic yacht parties this weekend. (THR)

‘Splice’ Actress Delphine Chanéac

Wednesday, June 9 by

Delphine Chanéac is a French model and actress whose last American film appearance was in The Pink Panther remake as "The Ticket Checker." She landed a meatier role as Dren in Splice, but unfortunately she has a shaved, cleft head like the lunch lady we all used to make fun of in elementary school. A word from Delphine: "I had to wear blue socks over high heels, my hands became my feet and my tail was wrapped in blue."Worst. First. Date. EVER. More pics of Delphine without a tail after the jump.

Trailer for AMC’s ‘Rubicon’

Wednesday, June 9 by

This show will have more hair jokes than "Glee." After the season finale of "Breaking Bad" this Sunday, stay tuned for a preview of AMC's new drama "Rubicon" starring James Badge Dale, the guy who looks like the teacher from "Glee." The conspiracy thriller is about "an analyst at a New York City think-tank who is thrown into a story where nothing is as it appears to be." I realize that tells you absolutely nothing, but the fun of the series is the **wiggles fingers** myyyyyystery. I read the script for the pilot and liked it quite a bit. You have to pay close attention as the main character uses his knowledge of crossword puzzles to uncover a mass conspiracy, but the hook of the four-leaf clover grabs you from the start. I hope they don't go the "LOST" route and choose an obvious ending. I'll be so pissed if a clan of leprechauns is behind the whole thing. "Rubicon" premieres August 1st at 8/7c with a sneak preview this Sunday. Check out the trailer and poster after the jump…

RUBICON

Wednesday, June 9 by

Network: AMCCast: James Badge DaleSynopsis: An analyst at a New York City think-tank who is thrown into a story where nothing is as it appears to be.

‘Final Destination 5′ To Be (Directed By Cameron’s) Number Two

Wednesday, June 9 by

"Derp! Why did I drive into this log?"Still no word on what totally retarded plot contrivances will make their way into Final Destination 5, but today we have news that a director has been hired. Avatar's 2nd HMFIC, Steven Quale, will be in charge of impaling sexy teens for the fifth go-round. Really though, who builds a javelin manufactory next to batting cages? That's an accident waiting to happen.Quale has a lot of experience with 3D, having co-directed the underwater documentary Aliens of the Abyss with James Cameron as well as serving as 2nd Unit Director on Avatar, so perhaps this movie won't be a complete wash-out. No details from Eric Heisserer's script have been released, so we don't know what narrowly-avoided cataclysmic event will serve as a catalyst for the plot. The fourth entry was based around a NASCAR race gone horribly awry, and seeing how these movies get progressively dumber, I'm going to say this one opens with an Insane Clown Posse concert fire. R.I.P. Juggalos. C U in Shangri-La. (THR)

‘Golden Girls’ Porn Parody Trailer

Wednesday, June 9 by

Yes, they made it, okay? They made a porn parody of "The Golden Girls," that show about four old women, three of which have passed, and the other who the Internet won't leave alone. You all walk around with your heads held high like you're sooooooo superior and don't have a GILF fetish. Now if it were called "Golden Shower Girls" I'd understand why you wouldn't want to watch. Except for the sickos, of course. Not that there's anything wrong with watching old women get peed on. No, I take that back. This may bite me in the ass when I run for political office, but I stand by the belief that it IS wrong to watch old women get peed on. Unless they're dead. Roll the footage!

Voltron Off the Big Screen, On to the Small

Wednesday, June 9 by

I've already written about pornstars and Muppets this morning. What else is left to cover but giant space robots!After years of rumors and indecision, plans for a Voltron movie have been scrapped. However, fans need not worry, as they'll soon be able to get their nostalgia fix on the small screen. A reboot of the popular 80's cartoon is underway. The new series will air on Nicktoons, and will be rolled out alongside a brand new toy line.As cool as these new toys sound, times are tough. If you find that money is too tight, construct a homemade "Voltron" robot using wire hangers, your cat, and a soldering iron. But make sure your cat is either asleep or dead before you start the soldering, or it's going to get really pissed off. I recommend using Benadryl and a brick, respectively. (Cinema Blend)

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