‘Inception’ Confuses the Hell Out Of Leonardo DiCaprio Too

Thursday, July 1 by

DiCaprio pondering Inception's plot points.Just this morning I was halfway through explaining Inception's plot to someone when it occurred to me that I had no idea what I was talking about. So, naturally I just kind of trailed off and quickly escaped into the flatbed of a passing truck. Looks like I'm not the only one confused:For the Inception cast, the intricate screenplay Mr. Nolan wrote was tantalizing but occasionally perplexing. “It was a very well written, comprehensive script,” Mr. DiCaprio said, “but you really had to have Chris in person, to try to articulate some of the things that have been swirling around his head for the last eight years.”That's disheartening considering it's unlikely Nolan will provide a Q&A after each screening. He could at least print his number on each ticket stub so we could call him at random hours to request some kind of closure. According to Peter Travers, we'll love it as long as we're not stupid. So yeah, it's pretty much the anti-Transformers. (NY Times via Vulture)

Big Screen Adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘It’ Closer to Freaking You the F*ck Out

Thursday, July 1 by

This is why I don't do laundry anymore. Back in 2009, Warner Bros. hired screenwriter Dave Kajganich to tackle a big screen adaptation of Stephen King's novel It. I've never read the 1,104 page book because come on, it's over 1,000 pages, but the 1990 mini-series scared the living crap out of me when I was younger. It ruined so many things for me, including chinese food, sewers, old ladies, Jonathan Brandis, and sewers. In fact, Googling images of Pennywise the Clown just now triggered my post traumatic stress disorder and my bladder.Dave Kajganich spoke recently to the Stephen King fansite Lilja's Library, and told them how he's working on damaging our psyches with a killer clown again:I told the studio from the beginning that I felt I needed to be able to write for an R rating, since I wanted to be as candid as the novel about the terrible things the characters go through as kids. They agreed and off I went. … I think the biggest difference [between the big screen adaptation and the miniseries] is that we’re working with about two-thirds the onscreen time they had for the miniseries. That sounds dire, I know, but it doesn’t necessarily mean two-thirds the amount of story. I’m finding as many ways as I can to make certain scenes redundant by deepening and doubling others.I can't image how he'll take over 1,000 pages of source material and cram it into a two-hour film. Obviously a lot will be cut, but will all the crucial elements hold together is the question. Also, Tim Curry delivers such a fantastic performance in the original mini-series it's going to be hard finding someone who can top it. But the bigger question here is, what's up with Richard Thomas's mole these days?Yep, still enormous.

Nikki Reed and Deborah Ann Woll Locked And Loaded For ‘Catch .44′

Thursday, July 1 by

Hot teen vampire worlds are about to collide. Twilight's Nikki Reed will be joined by "True Blood's" blood-teary eyed Deborah Ann Woll in Aaron Harvey's Catch .44. The fanged duo will join Malin Akerman to form a trio of gorgeous assassins who's next mission may be their last when they're pitted between Bruce Willis's crime boss and Forest Whitaker's psychotic hitman. Something tells me he's not a sharp-shooter. Just sayin'.File photo: F. WhitakerHonestly though, why are hot girls always playing assassins in movies? In my experience the prettier the girl, the more likely they are to find some desperate nerd to garrote their marks. Or help them move. It depends on whether or not you were raised in Detroit. (Deadline)

Review: ‘The Last Airbender’

Thursday, July 1 by

The Last AirbenderPG, 95min., 2010Cast: Dev Patel, Noah Ringer, Jackson Rathbone, Aasif Mandi, Nicola Peltz, and Cliff CurtisDirected by M. Night ShyamalanScreenplay M. Night Shyamalan based upon the Nickelodeon Animated series “Avatar: The Last Airbender”The Last Airbender is a good looking and expensive summer movie that is brought down to miserable lows due to shoddy storytelling, hollow Nickelodeon-type acting, and the ever-annoying 3D transfer.To describe this story would take an entire 3,000-word review involving alternative universes with eastern religious symbols and age-old rivalries. For those that know the Nickelodeon show, they probability know the backstory and all the little pieces about wind, water, fire, and earth put together, for those like myself, we are given the age old hero's quest to finding himself story.MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

Kim Kardashian Now (the Real Kind of) Wax

Thursday, July 1 by

Madame Tussauds revealed the fake Kim Kardashian to the fake Kim Kardashian. It's extremely difficult to differentiate between the two. The one with a pulse has boobs that hang more naturally (even though they're not natural). It would make more sense to spin both girls around and compare asses. If Madame Tussauds mastered Kim's badunkadunk then I'd give my seal of approval. What do you guys think? Would you defile the wax one?More pics of fake Kim and Kim after the jump…

‘Twlight Eclipse’ Actress Elizabeth Reaser

Thursday, July 1 by

Elizabeth Reaser, the indie darling turned Twilight Saga cast member, has shown that it takes more than sparkling good looks to become a rising actor. While the Twilight has taken up most of her current screen time, she'll be going back to her roots in upcoming  drama's Homework and Eye of The Hurricane, giving plenty of homegrown hotness back on the indie scene.A word from Elizabeth: "I grew up subjecting my family to really bad shows in the living room. It's what I love to do."I'd scoot my butt around on the carpet to Murray Head's "One Night in Bangkok." Oh, but I'm sorry. You're talking about BAD shows.  Unwrap more of Reaser's pieces after the jump.

Please Don’t Let This ‘Toy Story’ Be In 3D

Thursday, July 1 by

The sick bastards over at Holy Taco whipped this poster up. Looks entertaining, but I always thought Buzz Lightyear was a Spaceman, not a Rabbit.

Marley Shelton, Eric Knudson, and Adam Brody Join ‘Scream 4′

Thursday, July 1 by

Some new faces have joined the list of characters who may be the recipients or deliverers of stabbings in Scream 4. Adam Brody and Eric Knudson have joined the cast as a cop obsessed with "CSI" and an teenaged expert on horror cliches, much like Jamie Kennedy's character from the earlier films.These additions come with a few subtractions. Lauren Graham and Lake Bell have both left the production. Marley Shelton is stepping into the cop role vacated by Bell. Bell tweeted earlier in the week that she's sad to leave due to schedule conflicts, and that she knows the identity of the killer. I say we hold her down until she tells us. Or just hold her down in general. I nominate me for the job. (THR)

Meryl Streep to Master Margaret Thatcher Next

Thursday, July 1 by

Uncanny.Everybody raise the roof! Meryl Streep is in talks to play former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. What what! The brilliant actress who has the Academy Awards on lockdown would reteam with her Mamma Mia! director Phyllida Lloyd for Iron Lady. THR, would you be so kind as to inform us of the details whilst I finish my biscuit?The film is set in 1982 and tracks Thatcher as she tries to save her career in the 17 days preceding the 1982 Falklands War. The 2 1/2-month war was a turning point for the prime minister, who, after the victory, saw her approval ratings double and went on to win a second term.The prose and the biscuit were absolutely scrumptious. Jim Broadbent is also in talks to play Thatcher's husband, Denis. If the deal for Streep goes through without any fuss, it will be the highest-profile character she's portrayed yet. Forget the cold showers of Silkwood and butter-soaked dishes of Julie & Julia. Meryl will have to go head-to-head with Parliament, and I can attest that things get rather unpolite in there. British unpolite, not American unpolite. So basically everyone is very polite.

Let Me In

Thursday, July 1 by

Director: Matt ReevesCast: Chloe Moretz, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Richard JenkinsSynopsis: A bullied young boy befriends a young female vampire who lives in secrecy with her guardian.Release Date: October 1, 2010

13 Memorable Movie Hookers

Thursday, July 1 by

Everyone loves a dead hooker. Everyone loves a live hooker for that matter. “Makin money the hard way” is one of the mankind’s oldest professions. And though it’s not necessarily something you hope for your children to aspire to, it’s always been a relevant topic in societal discussion.With Love Ranch opening this week, it seems only appropriate that we take a look at a few memorable Hollywood hookers who never fail to get us off:Vivian Ward – Pretty Woman

‘Let Me In’ Teaser: Gory Fun Without the Annoying Subtitles

Thursday, July 1 by

Chloe Moretz is back as another bloodthirsty tween in this teaser for Matt Reeves' Let The Right One In remake, Let Me In. Kodi Smit-McPhee stars as a bullied boy who befriends his new neighbor, a vampire child who keeps busy by eating members of the community. That's definitely a dick move, but not as bad as my neighbor who keeps stealing my parking space. That jerk deserves to be staked. LOOKS PRETTY SOLID TO ME. CHECK IT OUT AFTER THE JUMP AND LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK…

Big, Bad Texas is Too Scared for ‘Paranormal Activity 2′

Thursday, July 1 by

Like everyone else in America, I've always had to endure the boastful claims of the state of Texas. From the "Don't Mess with Texas" slogan to awful Dallas Cowboys fans to the "Steers and Queers" line in Full Metal Jacket, Texans always seem to walk around like their poo-poos don't stink. Well guess what, Tex; you're not so tough after all! Cinemark has pulled the trailer for Paramount's "Paranormal Activity 2" from several theaters in Texas after receiving numerous complaints that the promo was "too" frightening. Well look at the scared little state of Texas pissing itself in the corner over a cheesy horror movie trailer. Pathetic. Why don't you run home to your "Friday Night Lights" and your "Austin City Limits," ya pansies! (Variety)

Jeffrey Jones: A Life Less Ordinary…Because He’s a Sex Offender

Thursday, July 1 by

I'll take a one-way ticket to Bangkok, please.Ferris Bueller always said Principal Rooney was a bad guy. Turns out, he was right.Actor Jeffrey Jones, best known for his roll as Principal Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, was arrested (again) for failing to register as a sex offender (again). Jones' sex-offender status stems from an incident in 2003 where the actor was caught with child pornography. He also paid a then 14-year-old boy, Cameron Frye, to pose for pornographic pictures.What makes this case so galling is that it all could have been avoided if Jones would have had enough consideration to explore his dark urges in Thailand, like a decent human being. For shame, Jeffrey. For shame.Now, please enjoy these out-of-context quotes from Jones' character in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which are much funnier now that he's a known sex offender. (Cinema Blend)See the quotes after the jump.

Pee-Wee’s Big Apatow Adventure

Wednesday, June 30 by

Hey Jeffrey Jones, I know you are, but what am I! Pee-Wee Herman (aka Paul Reubens) has at least one last big adventure left in him now that director Judd Apatow has announced he will produce the character's return to the big screen. The news comes nearly 20 years after an unfortunate incident involving a porno theater and his own wiener left Reubens a Hollywood pariah, all but killing the Pee-Wee character. Luckily for Reubens, society has finally devolved to the point where wanking off in a seedy porno theater no longer precludes one from being a children's entertainer. "Let's face it," says Apatow, "the world needs more Pee-Wee Herman. I am so excited to be working with Paul Reubens, who is an extraordinary and ground-breaking actor and writer. It's so great to watch him return with such relevance." I agree. We need more Pee-Wee. But relevance? I'm not sure feeding off of pathetic Gen-X nostalgia counts as relevance. Unless, of course, making boatloads of cash is the same as being relevant, in which case Pee-Wee is about to become one relevant mofo. (Empire Online)