Creepy Puppets Spread Parental Abuse Message

Thursday, June 17 by

Who better to convince children to rat on their touchy-feely parents than a trio of demonic dolls? Then the kids go cry to daddy about the scary puppets on TV and they get the belt again. Some marketing guru didn't think this PSA through very well.Don't make me tell you twice to click these links.What Do Comic Fans Think Of 'Jonah Hex' (Moviefone) 13-Foot Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Costume (Asylum) John Morris, The Voice of Andy In 'Toy Story' Speaks (PopEater) James Franco Really Likes Gay Stuff (FilmDrunk) Smoking Hot Marisa Miller Pictures (HolyTaco) "That Guy" Actor Of The Week: Joe Flaherty (Unreality) 10 Great Spoofs of the 'Psycho' Shower Scene (BroBible) Tiger Woods Love Child (TotalProSports) Hot California Gurls Pictures (Maxim) Rampage Blames Loss To Rashad (CagePotato) Justin Bieber Chatroulette (CelebJihad) 10 People You Don't Want At Your Pool Party (Smosh) The Pajiba 10 (1992 Edition) (Pajiba) Swat-Stickas (Atom) Anarchy In A Jam Jar (MadeMan) 5 People You Will Meet At The Beach This Summer (RegretfulMorning) 

‘Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’ International Trailer Releases Mayhem, Pee

Thursday, June 17 by

The international trailer for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World has HIT!!!! the Interwebz. The new footage and campy banter from Superman guy and "Arrested Development" Anne (Cowinkidink Alert!: She's Michael Cera's girlfriend on the show) are increasing my interest in this film. Not quite sure why we need to see a graphic representation of Scott Pilgrim's bladder being emptied, but I'll go with it. Perhaps in a sequel down the road we'll be privy to his prostate bar, a function those Flomax geniuses are probably toiling away on at this very moment. Check out the trailer after the jump…

‘Conviction’ Trailer Looks Oscar-y

Thursday, June 17 by

Fox Searchlight has released the trailer for Conviction, another one of those inspirational true stories that scream "Academy Award nominations all-around!" Hilary Swank plays a "high school dropout who spent nearly two decades working as a single mother while putting herself through law school, tirelessly trying to beat the system and overturn her brother’s unjust murder conviction." I assume the brother didn't do the crime, but Sam Rockwell's playing him so you never know. Maybe we'll get one of those Primal Fear endings. Swank spends years of her life striving to free her brother, then the instant Rockwell steps out of the prison gates he screams, "I stabbed that b*tch in the eyes!" and kicks Hilary in the stomach before stealing her broken down Taurus. Yeah… That would be awesome. Conviction gets tossed into theaters October 15, 2010. Check out the Oscar bait trailer after the jump…


Thursday, June 17 by

 Director: Tony GoldwynCast: Hilary Swank, Sam Rockwell, Minnie Driver, Melissa LeoSynposis : A working mother puts herself through law school in an effort to represent her brother, who has been wrongfully convicted of murder and has exhausted his chances to appeal his conviction through public defenders.Release Date: October 15, 2010

Review: ‘The Killer Inside Me’

Thursday, June 17 by

The Killer Inside Me R, 108min., 2010 Cast: Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba, Kate Hudson, Simon Baker, Elias Koteas, Ned Betty, and Bill Pullman Directed by Micheal Winterbottom Screenplay by John Curran based upon the novel by Jim Thompson   The Killer Inside Me is a faithfully adapted, dark, and twisted gem of an exercise in B-movie noir.   From the faded pop color opening credit sequence, director Michael Winterbottom and his perfectly suited cast takes us back to 1950s West Texas, where Central City, Sheriff Deputy Lou Ford (played by Casey Affleck, giving one of his finest and scariest performances to date) doesn't carry a gun and 'sweet talks' his way out of any bad problems. Well, that's what Lou wants you to believe as behind his earnest smile he is one of the most disturbed and violently psychological complex characters this side of the Rio Grande.MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

The Killer Inside Me

Thursday, June 17 by

Director: Michael WinterbottomCast: Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba, Kate HudsonSynopsis: A West Texas deputy sheriff is slowly unmasked as a psychotic killer.

Martin Scorsese to One-Up James Cameron’s Crappy 3D

Thursday, June 17 by

In his version of 3D, audiences walk out with a black eye.Martin Scorsese's next project is a 3D adaptation of Brian Selznick's novel The Invention of Hugo Cabret. The director has been quoted in the past saying that he doesn't like 3D just for 3D's sake, meaning stuff flying at your face is bunk, but it seems Scorsese has quickly changed his tune. According to his longtime editor Thelma Schoonmaker, who recently spoke to a masterclass at Aruba International Film Festival, Scorsese is all about getting up in your face with his film now:“Scorsese is in love with [3D]. He looked at Avatar and Alice [in Wonderland] and Scorsese didn’t feel that the 3D he saw was as interesting as in the old ones like Dial M for Murder and House of Wax. He’s decided he wants to be stronger with 3D to make it jump out at you. He’s going to go a little bit further with it.”Daaaaaaaamn, Marty. You dissed Cameron and Burton in one fell swoop. Actually your editor did by proxy, so maybe you should consider putting a muzzle on her.The Invention of Hugo Cabret is written by John Logan (Gladiator, Aviator) and stars Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Asa Butterfield, and Chloe Moretz. It's Scorsese's first foray into 3D, and he's extremely excited about molding the technology to his very specific stylings. I'm personally jazzed to see this one on December 9th of next year. Even though it's a family film, I've read the book and can confirm that if you possess a soul you're guaranteed a whimsical good time. If you don't have a soul, you can proceed with killing helpless small animals in your mother's garden. (/Film)

Hugo Cabret

Thursday, June 17 by

Director: Martin ScorseseCast: Chloe Moretz, Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Asa ButterfieldSynopsis: Concerns a 12-year-old orphan who lives in the walls of a Paris train station in 1930 and a mystery involving the boy, his late father and a robot.Release Date: December 9, 2011

Dane Cook, Christian Slater, Gary Oldman(?!) to Star in ‘Guns, Girls & Gambling’

Thursday, June 17 by

Gary, take about one-million steps to the left.Gary Oldman must owe someone money. The extremely versatile and talented actor is set to star in the crime thriller Guns, Girls & Gambling alongside the not versatile and talented Dane Cook and Christian Slater. Alright, Slater deserves some cred, mainly for Kuffs, but still, Oldman stumbled into the wrong lukewarm jacuzzi. THR, mind telling us about the project?The story throws Elvis impersonators, Indians, modern cowboys, a 6-foot-tall blond assassin, a frat boy, a corrupt sheriff and a prostitute into a chase for a priceless American Indian artifact stolen during a poker game at an Indian casino.Slater plays a normal guy who in a drunken stupor joins an Elvis impersonation contest. Oldman is the contest’s mega-contender, and Cook will play the sheriff. . What? This movie sounds ridiculous. Any God-fearing American worth his salt knows that frat boys don't mess with prostitution or gambling. But if you say so, indie director Michael Winnick. I can suspend my disbelief for Dane Cook, but the mischievous frat boys plot line just doesn't hold water.

‘Justified’ Actress Natalie Zea

Thursday, June 17 by

Natalie Zea made several guest stints on "The Shield" (one of the best shows ever!) playing a love interest to Michael Chiklis's Det. Vic Mackey. This would be the first time a television drama has taken the "Really Hot Woman Loves Fat Guy" conceit seen in almost every sitcom. She then showed her bare breasts in "Hung" while getting banged in a restaurant bathroom by Tom Jane, and is now Timothy Olyphant's ex-wife on "Justified." She looks amazing in a pencil skirt.  A word from Natalie: "I have wonderful large cleavage with a contract and all the amenities… or I'm eating hummus." Whatever floats your boat. I'd be glade to share a tub of Sabra with you any day.More sophisticated pics of Natalie after the jump.

Marisa Miller’s Banned Guitar Hero Commercial

Thursday, June 17 by

Marisa Millers Banned Guitar Hero Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosVictoria's Secret model Marisa Miller shot a commercial back in 2008 for Guitar Hero that was banned from television. If you have an issue with four half-naked Maria Millers dry humping guitars while their bosoms heave than you're probably a Socialist and I want nothing to do with you or your repressive ways.

‘The Breakfast Club’ Porn Parody Trailer

Thursday, June 17 by

I'm going to continue posting these porn parody trailers because I personally find it amusing when nasty sex gets shoehorned into anything, especially movies and TV shows that don't deserve such acts being forced on them. I wouldn't be so bold as to call these porn parodies "the rape of western media" but if major outlets pick up the term I want proper credit. Having said all that, New Sensations added boobies and stuff to The Breakfast Club! Imagine all of the confessions about parental abuse in the original film replaced with sexual innuendos. So basically, they stole our entire schtick at Screen Junkies. **Represses deep-seated emotions. Plasters on fake smile** Check out the porn parody trailer after the jump. Fingers crossed for the single "Don't You Forget About Missionary" in the full length movie.

C*ck Tease of the Day: Set Photos from ‘The Hobbit’

Thursday, June 17 by

I know how much you guys love info about movies that may never happen, so here are some photos from the set of The Hobbit. The film has no director, but people are working hard over in New Zealand to build The Shire. Once the project is completely dead they'll abandon the land, leaving prime, unpatroled real estate open for hobbit squaters. They're the worst kind of squaters.More c*ck tease pics after the jump.

The Weird and Wild West (Infographic)

Thursday, June 17 by

Western flicks have been cattle-roping since the invention of the movie camera. So it's no surprise that sometimes they get a bit stale. Every so often, filmmakers jump into the genre with a little extra spice. Only, instead of coriander, they've got zombies, man-eating monsters, and gadgets.This week, Jonah Hex, based on the DC Comics series, adds a bit of the supernatural to Josh Brolin's archetypal old west anti-hero. Next year, we'll see the release of Cowboys & Aliens. It's no stretch, nowadays, to see modern westerns made with a little fantasical pizzazz, so we put together a short history of supernatural motifs in the genre.

Awesome ‘Predators’ Pics Hit the Web

Wednesday, June 16 by

Sweet mother of us all! This Predator's scary vagina mouth is the most horrifying thing I've seen since Love Actually.In this newly released photo from the upcoming Robert Rodriguez-produced film, one of the Predators displays his fangs in an all-out attempt to cause Danny Trejo's character to poop his pants. I'm assuming it didn't work, since Danny Trejo is the most menacing thing in the galaxy. Even so, it's pretty bad ass. See more freaky Predators pics after the jump.