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‘Piranha 3D’ Actress Gianna Michaels

Monday, August 23 by

 
Gianna Michaels, like many hard working adult film stars, came from the fast food industry before being discovered for her natural talents. They have led her to several adult industry awards and a small part in Piranha 3D, where she is eaten by the carnivorous fish while parasailing nude, of course.
A word from Gianna: "I worked at a hamburger joint up in Seattle called Dick's."
I won't comment on the irony.
More pics of Gianna after the jump…

Full-Grown Man Kenny Powers Doesn’t Use Twitter

Monday, August 23 by

HBO, "Eastbound & Down," Kenny Powers, and Danny McBride would like you to know that Twitter's KFUCKINGP has nothing to do with them. For more than a year, a comedy writer from NYC has been posing as fictional washed-up baseball star Kenny Powers and delighting followers with his clever, very McBride-like tweets. He isn't McBride though, as the actor himself told Vulture:
"Kenny Powers is a full-grown man, so he would never Twitter. But Kenny is also a man of the people. He doesn't care if the public feels the need to impersonate him. That just puts him up there with the big dogs like Santa and Elvis. Knowing that it's a very funny committed fan makes us proud."
That's a burn for all you bloggers out there. You grown-ass men shouldn't share your thoughts, grievances, and lazy Sunday night plans with the world. Sure, Anonymous NYC Aspiring Comedy Writer found some success with it, but he sacrificed his masculinity in the process. Fortunately Screen Junkies has raw male power to spare, so we're always tweeting the sh*t out of sh*t on our account HERE!!!!
"Eastbound & Down" returns to HBO September 26th, and it's Kenny Powers approved.

Fall TV Tips: The Sitcoms About Couples

Monday, August 23 by

Here’s my latest brilliant assessment of the new fall TV shows. This week it’s time to scrutinize sitcoms about couples. While these sitcoms can sometimes be confused with sitcoms about family — which I have already broken down for you — these shows focus on the daily shenanigans of a particular couple, or couples.
Let’s take a look…
WATCH IT: “Perfect Couples” (NBC), Midseason

Uh-oh Coco: O’Brien’s Writers Unhappy with TBS Pay

Monday, August 23 by

There's trouble a brew'n at TBS. Page 6 is reporting that Conan O'Brien's writers aren't happy with the pay being doled out by their new employer. Apparently they are under the impression that the network, which until recently conisisted of nothing but Atlanta Braves' games and old Hanna-Barbera cartoons, is swimming in cash.
"This is no surprise," said an insider. "One show was broadcast network; the other is basic cable. It's a different pay scale. It's not just writers; it's everybody."
Despite the complaints, no formal agreement has been made. The Writers Guild is still in talks with TBS, so it's possible that the network will find a way to come up with more cash. Perhaps they could stop paying homeless drifters to be in the George Lopez studio audience and just switch to a laugh track. Although in all fairness, the technology to create laughter for that show is probably a few years away.

Hanks & Bullock Looking to Nice It Up In ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close’

Monday, August 23 by

Tom Hanks is considered one of the "nicest" guys in Hollywood. Sandra Bullock has the same "nice guy" image, but with a vaginal twist. Now comes word the pair may star in Stephen Daldry's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, thereby creating an overwhelming pile of nice-ness unlike anything the world has ever seen.

As if that wasn't nice enough, Eric Roth is adapting the script, which tells the story of a young boy who lost his father on September 11th. Terrorist attacks aren't very nice, but considering Roth also adapted the screenplay for a little movie called Forrest Gump, this film will probably be oozing with so much niceness that I'll have to punch my grandma in the face just to even things out.

I love you, Nana. (First Showing)

First Look at Ron Howard’s ‘The Dilemma’

Sunday, August 22 by

USAToday has a first look at Ron Howard's new film, The Dilemma. It stars Vince Vaughn as a guy who discovers that his best friend's (Kevin James) wife (Winona Ryder) is cheating on him with Channing Tatum. Not the real Channing Tatum, but the character he plays. In case you're confused as to where this movie came from, it used to be called Cheaters.
It's great to see Ron Howard taking on a comedy again. I've grown weary of his religious projects with Tom Hanks in long, stringy hair. Hopefully The Dilemma will be more Parenthood than EdTV. I'd also like to mention that the above scene takes place at Chicago's famous hot dog joint, Weiner Circle. A more dangerous place to bring Vaughn and James I cannot think of.

Captain Kirk Was Here

Saturday, August 21 by

A captain never gets a minute to himself.

Pitch for ‘Slinky: The Movie’

Saturday, August 21 by

Someone named BigSugar imagined what it would be like if a development exec asked them to write a movie based on Slinky, the big metal coil for kids. The truly frightening part is with all the board game and Magic 8 Ball movies in development, this meeting is probably scheduled for a writer for Monday. (JohnAugust)

Photobomb Fridays: ‘American Beauty’

Friday, August 20 by

Meta.
Here are your weekend links.
Six Second Review: 'The Switch' (Moviefone)
Crack Dealer Celebrates 13th Birthday In Jail (Asylum)
The 12 Greatest Real-Life Superheroes Of All Time (Ranker)
25 Pictures Of Women Doing Manly Things (HolyTaco)
'Super-Hip' Seattle Pastor Doesn't Like Twilight (FilmDrunk)
It's Beer Fest Season! (Maxim)
Back To School Shaping Up To Be Cool (BarStoolSports)
Classic Comic Book Ads (EgoTV)
Juliette Lewis Career Assessment (Pajiba)
Alternate Ending TO Popular Movies (Unreality)
Give'em Your Balls, Oakland A's Ball Boy Picks Up Chicks (TotalProSports)
3D Movie Revamps We'd Like To See (Smosh)
Justin Bieber Has Sex With A Manatee (CelebJihad)
15 Words For Vagina That Women Hate (BroBible)
Kimbo Slice To Make A Lot Of Money As A Mediocre Boxer (CagePotato)
DJ Marc Mysterio Sues Brandy For Millions (PopEater)
Snoop Dogg Blows Up Armored Truck (MadeMan)

Adam Scott’s ‘Piranha 3D’ Guarantee

Friday, August 20 by

Adam Scott is so certain that you'll like his new film Piranha 3D that if you don't, he'll personally come over to your house and act out his scenes for you and yours friends. At least, that's what he tweeted yesterday. Today, he laid out the stipulations for Vanity Fair, which I'm betting most of you would willingly abide by for his visit:
“Few things: Will need the aforementioned firearm and fish. Will also need local Elisabeth Shue look-alike to run dialogue with, a plaid shirt, two high-fives (one before we run the scenes, one after), peanut M&M’s, a map with the closest Red Roof Inn circled on it (I won’t be staying there, I just like knowing where it is. I’ll be staying with you), a 700-word essay on why you neglected to recognize that Piranha 3D totally f**king shreds, Perrier, a quick guitar lesson, one grenade, dinner with your family, and directions to the airport.”
The only request I have a problem with is the 700-word essay. If there's one thing I can't stand in this world, it's mandated writing. When I put fingertips to keyboard it's on my own terms, Scott. (Movieline)

Bosnia Rambo Born For Action

Friday, August 20 by

Bosnia Rambo possesses the artillery, brawn, and balls to take down whatever enemy may cross his path. The only problem is he's not shooting his bullets and arrows at anyone. It's just Bosnia Rambo, firing off into nothingness and crouching down low so a snake can slither its way across his rifle. Sure, snakes can make anyone look bad-ass, but present enemies really hit home that fact. If the director would just cut in some shots of some other dude firing back this video would be exxxtreeeeeeme!
Check out Bosnia Rambo in action after the jump…

Tim Burton Brings ‘Ed Wood’ Writers Into ‘Addams Family’

Friday, August 20 by

Tim Burton will reunite with Ed Wood screenwriters Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski to bring dark humor and spiral staircases to the 3D stop motion animated The Addams Family. The new adaptation will be more faithful to the original Charles Addams drawings in The New Yorker, and less faithful to Christopher Llyod. The writers want "the tone to be as darkly funny and subversive as the Addams drawings, and we've come up with an approach that nobody has ever done before."
This pairing gets a huge thumbs up on my end. Ed Wood might be my favorite Tim Burton movie ever, and Alexander and Karaszewski also wrote The People vs. Larry Flynt, another fantastic biopic. The Addams Family seems to be more in Burton's wheelhouse than in the writers's, but perhaps they can rein Burton in when he decides that EVERYTHING needs to look like a bad LSD trip. (Deadline)

Bert vs. Ernie

Friday, August 20 by

Whoever wins, Sesame Street loses. (Shawn King)

‘Piranha 3D’ Actress Riley Steele

Friday, August 20 by

Riley Steele, a current popular star in the porn biz, makes her official big screen debut with Piranha 3D. From nude underwater swimming with Kelly Brook and making out with Jessica Szohr, the movie puts her adult entertainment assets to good use.
A word from Riley: "What matters most is how you see yourself."
Naked or clothed? Because there's a world of difference.
More pics of Riley after the jump…

David Slade Will Most Likely Direct ‘Wolverine 2′

Friday, August 20 by

David Slade, director of Twilight Eclipse, 30 Days of Night, and Hard Candy, is the lead contender to helm the sequel to the X-Men Wolverine spin-off, the aptly titled, Wolverine 2. His sole competition is Robert Schwentke, who last directed The Time Traveler's Wife, and has the upcoming Bruce Willis vehicle, Red. Hugh Jackman himself will pick the winner, so let the ass-kissing begin. According to Vulture, "A well-placed source inside the production insists: 'It's going to be Slade.'" Looks like someone already sent a fruit bouquet to someone else's house.
I suppose I'd prefer Slade to Schwentke since I'm a big fan of Hard Candy and he made the least sh*ttiest Twilight movie, but I feel strongly that the sequel to Wolverine couldn't be any worse than the original no matter who's directing.
Oh no. I've gone and done it again. I've said the words that release the evil genie who travels on a bed of Cheetos dust.

RATNER!!!!!

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