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BREAKING: Will Forte’s Ass Celery Stolen On ‘MacGruber’ Set

Wednesday, May 19 by

BREAKING NEWS: Somebody stole Will Forte's ass celery.I caught up with Forte and director Jorma Taccone earlier this week after a viewing of MacGruber's hilariously over-the-top big-screen outing. One scene from the movie that has people talking is when MacGruber "improvises" his way out of a tight jam with a discarded celery stalk. I asked the filmmakers how dancing around nude with celery in one's butt effects the vibe with the teamsters on set (it earns you more respect, according to Taccone), and Forte told me about an overzealous fan eager to own a piece of film history."There was actually a celery thief! There was some guy who somehow liberated a piece of celery. Somebody told me that some guy who was affiliated with the railyard [where the scene was filmed] had come and taken one of the pieces of celery."Well, I don't really know what to say to that, except they're better off it's someone from the location than someone from Craft Services.

Adam Shankman To Over-Parent Production of ‘Mean Moms’

Wednesday, May 19 by

Adam Shankman has just been nominated for the "Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves Award for Achievements in the Field of Squeezing Blood From Stones Sequelizations." Shankman is producing an unofficial sequel to Mean Girls, this time dealing with the social order in the world of competitive parenting. Like Mean Girls, Mean Moms (aka C*nts) is also based on an advice book by Rosalind Wiseman. In this case, it's her 2006 book "Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads: Dealing with the Parents, Teachers, Coaches, and Counselors Who Can Make — or Break — Your Child's Future."One of the main reasons that Mean Girls is so good is Tina Fey's script. To say that Mean Moms scribes Dara and Chad Creasey have some big shoes to fill is an understatement. But if anyone is up to the job, it's the writing team behind Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip, Pushing Daisies, and Legally Blondes. Which is apparantly a thing that happened after Reese Witherspoon became president or something in Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde. (Variety)

‘Dancing With The Stars’ Partner Julianne Hough

Wednesday, May 19 by

Known mostly as “that hot chick on Dancing with the Stars,” Julianne Hough may be the sole reason men tune into the show, disregarding the fact that they’ll be forced to see former sports heroes at incredibly low points in their lives.A word from Julianne: "A lot of people know me as a dancer, but this album shows a different side of me. I've experienced a lot for someone my age that a lot of people will be able to relate to."You're 22 years old, Julianna. Unless a lot of turmoil occured before your 18th birthday, I doubt people will relate much. More blonde and piercing blue eyes after the jump.

First Image from ‘Cowboys & Aliens’ Lacks Aliens

Wednesday, May 19 by

Jon Favreau tweeted this little morsel from the set of Cowboys & Aliens to get your appetite so whet your superiors are wondering why the mop handle in your grip is covered in drool. Though can we really be sure this is official just because the director of the movie released it?My overbearing paronia insists that the pic could be a clever marketing campaign by Disney for Toy Story 3. If Woody was flesh and blood THIS is how he would look, always hauling a backlight around with him so we could never be certain of his identity. Oh no, you're not pulling the wool over my eyes, Lasseter. First the subliminal Nazi propaganda shorts before the main attraction and now this? If you weren't so damn awesome at what you do I'd have a good mind to shake an angry fist at your visage. That and my angry fist is buried deep in a tub of animal crackers at the moment. I know there's an elephant in here somewhere…  

‘Entourage’ Season 7 Preview

Wednesday, May 19 by

Things are just peachy keen for Vince and the gang. So much so that they decided to spend the afternoon on the edge of a cliff shootin' the shit, and you better believe HBO was rolling the cameras. Seriously, could they have not come up with a better promo than this for season 7 of "Entourage"? The whole "we're just bros hanging out and living life" schtick got stale in season 3. Newsflash guys: you don't live in the real world! The stakes on the show don't matter because they usually consist of Vince toiling over which hot girl to f*ck. But no matter how it shakes out, he still gets to f*ck a hot girl.  Meanwhile on Main Street, some poor schmo is deciding which kid of his to sacrifice so he can feed the rest of his family. I realize it's not as dire as having zero bars on your iPhone, but it's in the same ballpark. Check out the preview for Season 7 of "Entourage" below.

Isla Fisher May Head South For Wayne McClammy’s ‘Desperados’

Wednesday, May 19 by

Being a huge feminist and all (see above picture) I found it hard to enjoy The Hangover. The whole time I was all like, 'Where my sisters at??!" Well friends, my prayers have been answered. Household name Wayne McClammy ("The Sarah Silverman Program," Kimmel's "I'm F**king Matt Damon/Ben Affleck") is in talks to direct Desperados. The project is described as a lady-version of The Hangover, with Isla Fisher in talks to star. I'd think if you wanted a hungover redhead, you wouldn't need to look further than Lindsay Lohan **scribbles down joke, mails to Craig Kilborn**THR's got more info. You go, girlfriend:The story is about a woman who sends an indignant email to her new beau, who has gone silent after they have sex, only to discover he's comatose in a Mexican hospital. Panicking, she races south of the border with her friends in tow to intercept the email before he recovers.Dumb. You can't outrun an email. Just like you can't outrun sunlight or a flash freeze. I'm looking at you two, Blade and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Charlie Sheen’s Salary is Worth Two and a Half Myanmars

Wednesday, May 19 by

Charlie Sheen has problems. You have problems. Charlie Sheen drinks too much. You drink too much. Charlie Sheen has a shitty job. You have a shitty job. Charlie Sheen could make as much as $100 million dollars over the next two years for filming "Two and a Half Men." You'll be lucky if they make you an example in a "Faces of Meth" poster. Sheen's upfront salary is pegged at right around $1.25 million per seg, not the $1.8 million-$1.9 million previously reported ( Daily Variety , May 18). But Sheen's sizable profit participation stake in "Men" has sources close to the deal pegging the value of the additional 48 episodes at as much as $100 million to the thesp. With this new contract, Sheen's net worth is probably higher than the GDP of some third-world countries. Of course, that's assuming he hasn't blown most of it on hookers and blow, which he most certainly has. But this cash might be just what Sheen needs to find out the truth about September 11th. In fact, if you're reading, Charlie, I happen to have some information about the real culprit. His name starts with an "O" and ends with an "ama." For a million dollars, I'll clue you in on the missing letters. (Variety)

Jemaine Clement Joins ‘Men in Black III’

Wednesday, May 19 by

Jemaine Clement of "Flight of the Concords" fame is slated to play the villain in Men in Black III. Clement joins Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin and director Barry Sonnenfeld, who have all signed on to the project.While details are scarce, Collider is reporting that Clement will play an evil character named Yaz. Based on Clement's sideburns, one can only assume that "Yaz" is none other than Boston Red Sox's great Carl Yastrzemski, aka Mutton-chop Yaz.On the plus side, it would be hard to make a film any worse than MIB II. Unfortunately, Clement was already involved in the sci-fi related catastrophe, Gentleman Broncos, so anything is possible.

‘Ghostbusters Live’: Coming to a Library Near You

Wednesday, May 19 by

Finally, something tangible to report about Ghostbusters that doesn't involve Bill Murray's menstrual cycle. Rather than waiting around for Ghostbusters 3 like the rest of us saps, the fine folks at Improv Everywhere decided to take matters into their own hands by producing a version of Ghostbusters Live. The funnymen who had originally made a splash with their Best Buy sales prank which featured over eighty participants, pulled off quite the stunt with only seven able bodied comedians recently at the main branch of the New York Public Library and every spook filled second has been caught on camera for your enjoyment! I never thought that performance art could be so relevant. It's really inspired me to get my own flash mob version of Downfall off the ground. And if those people at the ADL don't like it they can go to hell. They never understood my art. (DreadCentral) See Ghostbusters Live after the jump.

Movie Archery Montage

Tuesday, May 18 by

Our friends at EgoTV put together this mashup of famous archery scenes from movies set to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I personally would have chosen Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot," but then again I'm a hack. These links are a bullz-eye! **rimshot. fart.** 'Pirates 4' to Be Shot in 3D (Moviefone) Meet the Beer Experts (Asylum) Conan O'Brien Lists His Five Favorite YouTube Videos (PopEater) How Delonte West Hooked Up With Lebron's Mom (HolyTaco) First Script Scene of Facebook movie 'The Social Network' (BroBible) Getting Old Sucks (FilmDrunk) 10 Best SNL Digital Shorts (Unreality) Miss Massachusetts Pics (TotalProSports) Pretty Girls and Their Playthings (Maxim) Meet Jan Finney, Cris Cyborg's Next Victim (CagePotato) Joe Jonas Lied About Serving In Vietnam (CelebJihad) 10 Best Kids' Drawings Ever (Smosh) 5 Most Popular Celebs You've Never Heard Of (Pajiba) M'larky Trailer (Atom) 13 Facts about Weed (MadeMan) Tony Stewart Jumps from a Plane (AllLeftTurns)

ABC Sexies Up Its Schedule

Tuesday, May 18 by

ABC has announced its fall line-up and it's brimming with hotties. Tuesday night's we have Julie Benz and Autumn Reeser on superhero family drama "No Ordinary Family," Wednesday's give us Joanna Garcia in "Better Together," and Kelli Garner on Thursdays with "My Generation." In addition to all the fresh faces, there's Michael Imperioli on "Detroit 1-8-7." It's important to have this balance. I don't know why. CHECK OUT THE FULL SCHEDULE AND CLIPS OF NEW AND RETURNING SHOWS AFTER THE JUMP…

Eddie Murphy Might Make A Funny ‘Nutty Professor’ Movie

Tuesday, May 18 by

Oprah?Looks like Eddie Murphy may take a break from the moody, little character pieces he's so well known for to don the fat suit and drink from the drawn butter well once again. While at the premiere of Shrek 4, Murphy told Access Hollywood:“You know what, there might be another Nutty Professor. We kind of wrote something that might be kind of funny. If the studios want to do it, we’ll do it. If you don’t see it, the studio was like, ‘This isn’t funny.’”I don't know Eddie. Precious wasn't all that funny and they let you do that. It even earned you an Oscar nomination. Don't be so hard on yourself, champ. Good things happen to good people. **gets killed anally by exploding office chair**

‘CSI Miami’ Actress Emily Procter

Tuesday, May 18 by

Emily Procter has appeared on shows such as "Friends" and "The West Wing," but even better she fronts and 80's cover band called White Lightnen. She is also an avid poker player, a game that her father taught her when she was young. If she tastes like a gin and tonic she might just be the best woman ever. A word from Emily: "It's not a bad idea to be single."Well yes, if you're an attractive blonde woman being single can be a delight. If you're a blogger it can be nightmare wrapped continually in Saturday night shame.More pics of Emily YEAAAAAHHHHH!!! after the jump.

New ‘True Blood’ Season 3 Trailer

Tuesday, May 18 by

A new full-length trailer for "True Blood" has glamoured the Internet, and I'm sharing it with you so you can forward it along to your girlfriends. They're going to love this season considering the vampire-centric show is now dabbling in the world of werewolves, officially making it one pained expression away from becoming full-blown Twilight for television. But don't you dare move off that couch. You sit their with your baby cakes and subject yourself to every single minute of it. At least it's HBO, so breasts and people erupting into flames are guaranteed. Buncha filthy pyros over at that network… Sink your eyes into the trailer after the jump. Tell your g.f. season 3 of "True Blood" premieres June 13th, if she doesn't already have a sticker on her bejeweled day planner for it.

‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Headed to New York City

Tuesday, May 18 by

Here's some news that will surely move the peen of Manhattan's improv players. Susie Essman has lit it slip that the next season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" will be filmed predominantly in New York City. There aren't any details available beyond the news that production will begin in July, so we're not really sure what plot specifics will bring Larry David to town. But we're certainly happy to have him, though I fear he'll stick out like a sore thumb. If there's one thing in short supply in New York City, it's fussy old coots prone to shouting. (NYPost)

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